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R. Linda:
I watched Inception or I should say I tried to watch it, which would have been an enjoyable experience if me old sainted Mam wasn't seated next to me, talking through it. I got such enjoyable questions as these: "I don't get it. Gabriel what did he say? Gabriel explain this here to me."
Yeeah, it is a complicated movie to begin with, but with someone nudging you constantly in the ribs, it made it hard to follow. Gees the woman. After being a quarter way in, I was ready to up and leave, take meself to bed and be done with it, but SHE got up and went to the kitchen shaking her head, to get a cuppa you know what. With her gone I got hooked. I was liking the flick, it became so much easier to follow when one is not being jabbed and questioned. Then she came back and plopped herself down between me and me Da with a "Whadda miss?" Me Da grunted so I got jabbed and had to quickly explain it and of course it being a complex movie, she didn't understand a word I said. I was beside meself with the questions upon questions and I was missing the action because I was now in me own thoughts on how to get rid of me Mam. Forget the dirty looks I was getting from the other two, like it was me fault I had to talk over the action.
Half way in we are all silent except for the sighing going on from the middle viewer. SHE was bored, she didn't get it, she didn't care to get it, she sipped her ninth cuppa and the constant up and down to get more and then the potty breaks, it was just too much UNTIL, she had sat there a while and then decided we should all break for cupcakes and more tea.
With a wave of her hand she told me to put "It on pause there Gabriel, let's go have some tea and nice cakes."
I wanted to tea and cake her right out of the room. We were in a critical part of the movie where the van is going off the bridge in slow mo, the sleepers are tied together in the hotel room being brought to the elevator with a kick arse zero gravity fight scene that made Matrix look elementary. The "dead wife" in the basement of DiCaprio's dream with the young protege looking on was just mind blowing, and you were not sure when the dead wife Mal was going to pick up that kitchen knife, but you knew she was, and there was Sailto dying in the frozen fortress on the next level up and we had to pause it for TEA AND CUPCAKES! Who does that? Me Mam does that. She picked up the remote and PAUSED IT!
We all looked at her in complete and utter shock. The best part of the freaking flick and we WERE ON PAUSE. There was nothing to be done, but go get a quick cup of that infernal Irish tea, stuff a cupcake in our pieholes and run back to the telly as if the flick had proceeded on without us. Oi! AND she had taken the clicker with her!
She never came back and that was a godsend. Me Da had stole the clicker without her noticing. She was out there sipping tea, eating cupcakes and talking to herself. We got to the end of the flick and we were all blown away, except of course Mam, who wasn't with us. We were in a daze from the amazing way the flick had concluded and with some glowing accolades for the producer Chris Nolan, we made our way to the kitchen for tea and cupcakes, because now we had a case of the munchies. BUT there was none to be had, the tea was put up, the cups cleaned, the cupcakes eaten by a certain unnamed Irishwoman and that was it. She was off to bed and she meant for us to have no conversation but go off to bed too!
Tonya whispered to me she felt like a kid being ordered to bed on a school night and it was only 10:30. Yup it was. Me Da ignored all this, put on the kettle and was getting down the rest of the "kookie" exchange cookies for a late night repast and some chat on the movie. Me Mam stood there looking at him, hands on hips.
"Mother O'Sullivan," Tonya said politely, "it is only 10:30 don't you want to watch the nightly news?"
Me Mam looked all confused and glanced at the clock on the wall.
"So it be Tonnie, I thought with that flick it went on and on and on and must be near midnight. And, yes I do want to watch the news, see what me sick son missed reporting on," and off she went to the telly.
I stood there in mid chew thinking of that last remark. Did she think I be faking me illness? Really? Did I look like a well man? Did I sound like one? I threw up my hands and shook me head. I sat down to more cookies and ignoring her.
We had a half hour to chow down and talk quickly about the film. At eleven prompt, the little old lady was calling us in for the news. We hurried in and me Da got the clicker and switched it up from WHDH to WBZ. Me Mam looked at him, she liked the other station. Well, the news came on and she asked him why he changed it from the station SHE liked. He paused it. He answered her that HE liked WBZ. He resumed watching. She thought for a minute, then she said, "Tonya, did ye clean up the kookies?" He paused it while Tonya answered, resumed again when she was done. Me Mam said, "Where is that Gabriel?" in reference to a news story in Roxbury, Da paused it while I answered, once answered, he resumed. Every time she opened her mouth he paused the news. It took us until 1 p.m. to get through it. Yup two hours of a half hour news broadcast all because me Mam talks through EVERYTHING.
She couldn't understand why it took so long to watch a thirty minute programme. I was rolling me eyes, and the lesson me Da hoped to teach her, about interrupting every two minutes, failed, because she just didn't get it. WE DID THOUGH. Neither Ton nor I will ever talk while me Da is in control of the clicker and we won't watch any more flicks until SHE goes home. What a night.
And YOU, what's this about pumpkin cheesecake being shown on the telly and you licking the screen? Are you a nutter or what? I mean I like to watch food being prepared on the telly but I'd never get on me knees and lick the screen as if I could savour it! NUTTER, yes you and me Mam. NUTTERS!
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I watched Inception or I should say I tried to watch it, which would have been an enjoyable experience if me old sainted Mam wasn't seated next to me, talking through it. I got such enjoyable questions as these: "I don't get it. Gabriel what did he say? Gabriel explain this here to me."
Yeeah, it is a complicated movie to begin with, but with someone nudging you constantly in the ribs, it made it hard to follow. Gees the woman. After being a quarter way in, I was ready to up and leave, take meself to bed and be done with it, but SHE got up and went to the kitchen shaking her head, to get a cuppa you know what. With her gone I got hooked. I was liking the flick, it became so much easier to follow when one is not being jabbed and questioned. Then she came back and plopped herself down between me and me Da with a "Whadda miss?" Me Da grunted so I got jabbed and had to quickly explain it and of course it being a complex movie, she didn't understand a word I said. I was beside meself with the questions upon questions and I was missing the action because I was now in me own thoughts on how to get rid of me Mam. Forget the dirty looks I was getting from the other two, like it was me fault I had to talk over the action.
Half way in we are all silent except for the sighing going on from the middle viewer. SHE was bored, she didn't get it, she didn't care to get it, she sipped her ninth cuppa and the constant up and down to get more and then the potty breaks, it was just too much UNTIL, she had sat there a while and then decided we should all break for cupcakes and more tea.
With a wave of her hand she told me to put "It on pause there Gabriel, let's go have some tea and nice cakes."
I wanted to tea and cake her right out of the room. We were in a critical part of the movie where the van is going off the bridge in slow mo, the sleepers are tied together in the hotel room being brought to the elevator with a kick arse zero gravity fight scene that made Matrix look elementary. The "dead wife" in the basement of DiCaprio's dream with the young protege looking on was just mind blowing, and you were not sure when the dead wife Mal was going to pick up that kitchen knife, but you knew she was, and there was Sailto dying in the frozen fortress on the next level up and we had to pause it for TEA AND CUPCAKES! Who does that? Me Mam does that. She picked up the remote and PAUSED IT!
We all looked at her in complete and utter shock. The best part of the freaking flick and we WERE ON PAUSE. There was nothing to be done, but go get a quick cup of that infernal Irish tea, stuff a cupcake in our pieholes and run back to the telly as if the flick had proceeded on without us. Oi! AND she had taken the clicker with her!
She never came back and that was a godsend. Me Da had stole the clicker without her noticing. She was out there sipping tea, eating cupcakes and talking to herself. We got to the end of the flick and we were all blown away, except of course Mam, who wasn't with us. We were in a daze from the amazing way the flick had concluded and with some glowing accolades for the producer Chris Nolan, we made our way to the kitchen for tea and cupcakes, because now we had a case of the munchies. BUT there was none to be had, the tea was put up, the cups cleaned, the cupcakes eaten by a certain unnamed Irishwoman and that was it. She was off to bed and she meant for us to have no conversation but go off to bed too!
Tonya whispered to me she felt like a kid being ordered to bed on a school night and it was only 10:30. Yup it was. Me Da ignored all this, put on the kettle and was getting down the rest of the "kookie" exchange cookies for a late night repast and some chat on the movie. Me Mam stood there looking at him, hands on hips.
"Mother O'Sullivan," Tonya said politely, "it is only 10:30 don't you want to watch the nightly news?"
Me Mam looked all confused and glanced at the clock on the wall.
"So it be Tonnie, I thought with that flick it went on and on and on and must be near midnight. And, yes I do want to watch the news, see what me sick son missed reporting on," and off she went to the telly.
I stood there in mid chew thinking of that last remark. Did she think I be faking me illness? Really? Did I look like a well man? Did I sound like one? I threw up my hands and shook me head. I sat down to more cookies and ignoring her.
We had a half hour to chow down and talk quickly about the film. At eleven prompt, the little old lady was calling us in for the news. We hurried in and me Da got the clicker and switched it up from WHDH to WBZ. Me Mam looked at him, she liked the other station. Well, the news came on and she asked him why he changed it from the station SHE liked. He paused it. He answered her that HE liked WBZ. He resumed watching. She thought for a minute, then she said, "Tonya, did ye clean up the kookies?" He paused it while Tonya answered, resumed again when she was done. Me Mam said, "Where is that Gabriel?" in reference to a news story in Roxbury, Da paused it while I answered, once answered, he resumed. Every time she opened her mouth he paused the news. It took us until 1 p.m. to get through it. Yup two hours of a half hour news broadcast all because me Mam talks through EVERYTHING.
She couldn't understand why it took so long to watch a thirty minute programme. I was rolling me eyes, and the lesson me Da hoped to teach her, about interrupting every two minutes, failed, because she just didn't get it. WE DID THOUGH. Neither Ton nor I will ever talk while me Da is in control of the clicker and we won't watch any more flicks until SHE goes home. What a night.
And YOU, what's this about pumpkin cheesecake being shown on the telly and you licking the screen? Are you a nutter or what? I mean I like to watch food being prepared on the telly but I'd never get on me knees and lick the screen as if I could savour it! NUTTER, yes you and me Mam. NUTTERS!
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
