04 August 2013
694
R. Linda:
Continuation of: Pedestrian Walker Race -- Yee-ah, 03 August 2013
Not wanting to face impending death I chose a life of impending limping instead. Yes, I did. I got up before the crack of dawn, drank a full pot of joe to kick me cobwebby self into gear, and at the stroke of 4 on the dot I heard the crunch of tyres on gravel. Yup, right on time when it's something HE wants to do. Oi!
I ran out to meet the Weasil so as not to wake the daughter of Dragon, and be subject to the explosive tirade of hearing "This child needs to be evicted because I am damn uncomfortable!" and the unsaid, "It IS ALL YOUR FAULT Gabriel."
So quietly shutting the Mustang's door and being handed a tall cup of Dunk's and a box of doughnuts, Weas turned the 'stang around slowly headed for the highway and eventually to a train station. I had yet to learn where in New England I was. I asked what state we were in and got the stupid answer the state of confusion, so I gave up.
Now it was very early and we took the train for a long ride and there were three other people in the same car with us. Everyone was in a morning blur and the clack-clack of the train lulled us even deeper into a stupor-like state until we pulled into one station, where the Weasil was suddenly on alert (a sure indication that I wasn't going to like what happened next and as usual -- and never disappointed, I didn't) as Captain Jaack joined us. And he was overly cheery which had me sniffing the air for the smell of rum, but I can't say I detected any.
He had on a blue checked shirt, what you in the States call a vest, a floppy fedora and sunglasses. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal a few Johnny Depp tats. So there he was incognito, yeah as incognito as Jaack can get. But not so incognito that the young woman who had been near to dozing the entire way up had perked up and was looking around at her neighbours like, 'Do you see WHO I see?' and it was then me eyes sprang open with the realisation she thought Captain Jaack WAS Johnny Depp.
I raced my hand across me face, short of bitch slapping me own face to wake up fully to combat what I knew was going to be a major fawning event full of drool, picture taking, and gushing of stupid things out of a mouth that probably would never go there, but for the fact she was on the train with JOHNNY DEPP!
I watched fascinated as she began the approach, one of the others a young guy did notice as well when she looked at him, raised her eyebrows and tossed her head in the direction of none other than the Johnny Depp impersonator who was trying not to look like Johnny Depp but does anyway! The guy was wide awake too and as this was being communicated, I wanted to covertly warn Jaack he was about to be mugged by "fans" who had no clue he wasn't the genuine article!
The young lady had her mobile phone out and was getting it on the picture app as she started to get up. Jaack had pulled the fedora over his face as if to nap, so I tried to whisper to him and kick him in the shin at the same time to tell him he was having moves put upon his unaware person. But he just crossed his leg so I couldn't kick him and pulled the fedora over his entire face. Oi!
Standing in front of him was the girl and her mobile at picture ready. She made eye contact with me and whispered, "Is he asleep?"
I made it like I was looking at him and whispered back, "Yes," but that wasn't going to stop her.
"Do you know him?" She whispered. "Are you his agent?"
"I do, and he isn't who you think he is," I whispered back and it was then I saw Jaack blink under his hat where I could see he was listening and finally realising what was happening around him. He, being used to this sort of thing, knew it was no good denying he wasn't who she thought he was. He'd been through it too many times and so he gave in. He lifted the fedora away and looked up at her.
"You're Johnny Depp," she stated.
He shook his head, no, but she smiled and got coy. This was all very interesting to me, I'd never seen someone mistaken for someone else and it was a lesson in how to be graceful about it and not embarrass someone in front of four other half-awake people.
"Yes, you are, I see your tats and I'd know you anywhere." She grinned.
Well, as you can imagine the Weasil was eating this up until she looked at him and took a double take.
"YOU look sorta like Leonardo DiCaprio," she said squinting her eyes and looking hard at the young whippersnapper.
"Nah," Weasil said and brushed on past her to the other end of the car, mussing his hair up as he went and standing with his back to her looking out the window. He wasn't stealing Jaack's thunder, though Jaack had a funny expression on his face like he wished Weasil would. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head on what to do next.
As to Weasil, that remark of hers had made him NERVOUS. Yes, can you believe it? That is what he said later when Jaack got testy about not helping him out. This was a first. What did he think she was going to do? But I didn't want to go there because trying to get inside the mind of Weasil was scary to me.
"I love you as Captain Jack Sparrow," the refocused girl said to Jaack who stared up at her his eyes a little round but forgetting himself because he IS Captain Jack most of the time, without thinking thanked her.
Oh my. This just now cemented it for her.
"Can I have a picture taken with you?" She asked the coyness of her smile now much more a come hither, batting the eyelashes, and I was stunned at all this.
"Sure." He answered and got up. She gave me the camera as the young man who had been drinking this all in asked if he too could have a picture AND the dreaded autograph.
"Picture sure, autograph, no," Jaack said as the girl put her arm around him, and he around her and both smiled and click it was done. Then the guy gave me his phone camera and without the arms around each other, clicked another snap, but "take one more just in case," he asked me so I did, not to be outdone, the chickie got herself back with Jaack for one more for the road. I tell ya!
"Now if you don't mind," Jaack said to both of them in that soft deep Depp-like voice, "I'm tired from a full schedule, so . . ." and he sat back down, put his hat over his face and feigned sleep. The two went back to their respective seats and showed each other the new pictures on their mobiles. Then they stared at his fine self the entire trip and as for Weasil, he was playing it DiCaprio safe, he kept to the back of the train where he took a whole seat with only the back of his head where we could see him like he was dead to the world.
When we got off and into a place where there was notta soul I said to Jaack, "Now those two are going to paste those pictures to Facebook and tell everyone they had a close encounter with Johnny Depp."
"I know. I told them I wasn't him, but did they believe me? It is easier to give them what they want than to argue and draw a crowd and then everyone is snapping pictures and I can't get away."
I understood. So I turned to Weasil, "And your excuse?"
"Happens dis be one of me days I look like Leo. I dunt gits it. Sumtimies I lookie like Leo and sumtimies I dunt." He said rather perplexed, but you know there are days he resembles Leonardo and there are other days, not a bit. Makes me wonder if there aren't TWO Weasils in the world and that's why I find him so confounding. But Jaack had the answer, Weasil wears his hair in that old DiCaprio style many are used to seeing and sometimes he wears it short and then he doesn't resemble Leo. That's it -- the hair!
I wanted to know about this "race" and peg leg pirate fund, and all that rot, but Mr. Depp hadn't had any breakfast so it was off to a small cafe where we (because of the early hour) were the only ones in the place. We were besieged with one waitress, one owner, and one cook who came over for . . . yup pictures with Johnny. As for Mr. DiCaprio, he had so messed his hair it was standing on end and he looked like someone who had their finger in an electrical socket, not at all DiCaprio-like.
When we left I said to Jaack that he knew didn't he, they would be pasting the photos on their new "celebrity wall" and of course, it wasn't the Johnny they thought it was. He shrugged, he said he was powerless to stop it. That he had lived with the Johnny Depp thing since he could remember and was used to it.
"Why rock the boat when you know denial sports nothing but trouble and a punch in the face?"
I wasn't sure I heard him right, but I let that go, because after our complimentary breakfast, yes it was, and I will say we tried to pay, but they wouldn't hear of it even when Jaack told them he was not, never had been and never will be Johnny Depp. What can ya do? We left a tip for each of our breakfasts which was the amount of our breakfasts with the tip just to be fair. I tell ya if those big tips don't spell celebrity I don't know what does!
And even when Jaack pulled out his license and it said another name other than Johnny Depp they argued he was doing that to be incognito! Oh that Hollywood prop department, oi! I almost felt sorry for him, because it must be as annoying as having good hair like Wolfie and the female population swooning each time you enter a room, pass by a table, or step outside a door. I have some interesting friends. Well, the ones I write about, I have a bunch I don't write about that are as interesting as staring at wet paint WHICH I HAVE DONE if you remember.
I be getting off-subject.
Shortly after we were picked up by one of Jaack's friends who took us to the race. The entire time I tried to ask what this was all about, but Jaack, Weasil and Ernie were all too busy talking about other things, so I got no answers. None, notta one. I gave it up and just fell into the chat THEY were having instead. I was making it like I was along for the ride and that was all.
But that wasn't going to be the case. No, of course, it wouldn't be. We arrived just outside a state park and at that hour there was no one around. This was a bad dream it was, or at least I wished it to be. I tried to freeze my brain to have not a thought in me noggin with a Slurpee bought at a 7-Eleven along the way. Yup, perfect brain freeze was what I was going for, so I wouldn't remember a thing. If only. But that was all shot to hell by a man dressed like a pirate riding a donkey.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Continuation of: Pedestrian Walker Race -- Yee-ah, 03 August 2013
Not wanting to face impending death I chose a life of impending limping instead. Yes, I did. I got up before the crack of dawn, drank a full pot of joe to kick me cobwebby self into gear, and at the stroke of 4 on the dot I heard the crunch of tyres on gravel. Yup, right on time when it's something HE wants to do. Oi!
I ran out to meet the Weasil so as not to wake the daughter of Dragon, and be subject to the explosive tirade of hearing "This child needs to be evicted because I am damn uncomfortable!" and the unsaid, "It IS ALL YOUR FAULT Gabriel."
So quietly shutting the Mustang's door and being handed a tall cup of Dunk's and a box of doughnuts, Weas turned the 'stang around slowly headed for the highway and eventually to a train station. I had yet to learn where in New England I was. I asked what state we were in and got the stupid answer the state of confusion, so I gave up.
Now it was very early and we took the train for a long ride and there were three other people in the same car with us. Everyone was in a morning blur and the clack-clack of the train lulled us even deeper into a stupor-like state until we pulled into one station, where the Weasil was suddenly on alert (a sure indication that I wasn't going to like what happened next and as usual -- and never disappointed, I didn't) as Captain Jaack joined us. And he was overly cheery which had me sniffing the air for the smell of rum, but I can't say I detected any.
He had on a blue checked shirt, what you in the States call a vest, a floppy fedora and sunglasses. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal a few Johnny Depp tats. So there he was incognito, yeah as incognito as Jaack can get. But not so incognito that the young woman who had been near to dozing the entire way up had perked up and was looking around at her neighbours like, 'Do you see WHO I see?' and it was then me eyes sprang open with the realisation she thought Captain Jaack WAS Johnny Depp.
I raced my hand across me face, short of bitch slapping me own face to wake up fully to combat what I knew was going to be a major fawning event full of drool, picture taking, and gushing of stupid things out of a mouth that probably would never go there, but for the fact she was on the train with JOHNNY DEPP!
I watched fascinated as she began the approach, one of the others a young guy did notice as well when she looked at him, raised her eyebrows and tossed her head in the direction of none other than the Johnny Depp impersonator who was trying not to look like Johnny Depp but does anyway! The guy was wide awake too and as this was being communicated, I wanted to covertly warn Jaack he was about to be mugged by "fans" who had no clue he wasn't the genuine article!
The young lady had her mobile phone out and was getting it on the picture app as she started to get up. Jaack had pulled the fedora over his face as if to nap, so I tried to whisper to him and kick him in the shin at the same time to tell him he was having moves put upon his unaware person. But he just crossed his leg so I couldn't kick him and pulled the fedora over his entire face. Oi!
Standing in front of him was the girl and her mobile at picture ready. She made eye contact with me and whispered, "Is he asleep?"
I made it like I was looking at him and whispered back, "Yes," but that wasn't going to stop her.
"Do you know him?" She whispered. "Are you his agent?"
"I do, and he isn't who you think he is," I whispered back and it was then I saw Jaack blink under his hat where I could see he was listening and finally realising what was happening around him. He, being used to this sort of thing, knew it was no good denying he wasn't who she thought he was. He'd been through it too many times and so he gave in. He lifted the fedora away and looked up at her.
"You're Johnny Depp," she stated.
He shook his head, no, but she smiled and got coy. This was all very interesting to me, I'd never seen someone mistaken for someone else and it was a lesson in how to be graceful about it and not embarrass someone in front of four other half-awake people.
"Yes, you are, I see your tats and I'd know you anywhere." She grinned.
Well, as you can imagine the Weasil was eating this up until she looked at him and took a double take.
"YOU look sorta like Leonardo DiCaprio," she said squinting her eyes and looking hard at the young whippersnapper.
"Nah," Weasil said and brushed on past her to the other end of the car, mussing his hair up as he went and standing with his back to her looking out the window. He wasn't stealing Jaack's thunder, though Jaack had a funny expression on his face like he wished Weasil would. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head on what to do next.
As to Weasil, that remark of hers had made him NERVOUS. Yes, can you believe it? That is what he said later when Jaack got testy about not helping him out. This was a first. What did he think she was going to do? But I didn't want to go there because trying to get inside the mind of Weasil was scary to me.
"I love you as Captain Jack Sparrow," the refocused girl said to Jaack who stared up at her his eyes a little round but forgetting himself because he IS Captain Jack most of the time, without thinking thanked her.
Oh my. This just now cemented it for her.
"Can I have a picture taken with you?" She asked the coyness of her smile now much more a come hither, batting the eyelashes, and I was stunned at all this.
"Sure." He answered and got up. She gave me the camera as the young man who had been drinking this all in asked if he too could have a picture AND the dreaded autograph.
"Picture sure, autograph, no," Jaack said as the girl put her arm around him, and he around her and both smiled and click it was done. Then the guy gave me his phone camera and without the arms around each other, clicked another snap, but "take one more just in case," he asked me so I did, not to be outdone, the chickie got herself back with Jaack for one more for the road. I tell ya!
"Now if you don't mind," Jaack said to both of them in that soft deep Depp-like voice, "I'm tired from a full schedule, so . . ." and he sat back down, put his hat over his face and feigned sleep. The two went back to their respective seats and showed each other the new pictures on their mobiles. Then they stared at his fine self the entire trip and as for Weasil, he was playing it DiCaprio safe, he kept to the back of the train where he took a whole seat with only the back of his head where we could see him like he was dead to the world.
When we got off and into a place where there was notta soul I said to Jaack, "Now those two are going to paste those pictures to Facebook and tell everyone they had a close encounter with Johnny Depp."
"I know. I told them I wasn't him, but did they believe me? It is easier to give them what they want than to argue and draw a crowd and then everyone is snapping pictures and I can't get away."
I understood. So I turned to Weasil, "And your excuse?"
"Happens dis be one of me days I look like Leo. I dunt gits it. Sumtimies I lookie like Leo and sumtimies I dunt." He said rather perplexed, but you know there are days he resembles Leonardo and there are other days, not a bit. Makes me wonder if there aren't TWO Weasils in the world and that's why I find him so confounding. But Jaack had the answer, Weasil wears his hair in that old DiCaprio style many are used to seeing and sometimes he wears it short and then he doesn't resemble Leo. That's it -- the hair!
I wanted to know about this "race" and peg leg pirate fund, and all that rot, but Mr. Depp hadn't had any breakfast so it was off to a small cafe where we (because of the early hour) were the only ones in the place. We were besieged with one waitress, one owner, and one cook who came over for . . . yup pictures with Johnny. As for Mr. DiCaprio, he had so messed his hair it was standing on end and he looked like someone who had their finger in an electrical socket, not at all DiCaprio-like.
When we left I said to Jaack that he knew didn't he, they would be pasting the photos on their new "celebrity wall" and of course, it wasn't the Johnny they thought it was. He shrugged, he said he was powerless to stop it. That he had lived with the Johnny Depp thing since he could remember and was used to it.
"Why rock the boat when you know denial sports nothing but trouble and a punch in the face?"
I wasn't sure I heard him right, but I let that go, because after our complimentary breakfast, yes it was, and I will say we tried to pay, but they wouldn't hear of it even when Jaack told them he was not, never had been and never will be Johnny Depp. What can ya do? We left a tip for each of our breakfasts which was the amount of our breakfasts with the tip just to be fair. I tell ya if those big tips don't spell celebrity I don't know what does!
And even when Jaack pulled out his license and it said another name other than Johnny Depp they argued he was doing that to be incognito! Oh that Hollywood prop department, oi! I almost felt sorry for him, because it must be as annoying as having good hair like Wolfie and the female population swooning each time you enter a room, pass by a table, or step outside a door. I have some interesting friends. Well, the ones I write about, I have a bunch I don't write about that are as interesting as staring at wet paint WHICH I HAVE DONE if you remember.
I be getting off-subject.
Shortly after we were picked up by one of Jaack's friends who took us to the race. The entire time I tried to ask what this was all about, but Jaack, Weasil and Ernie were all too busy talking about other things, so I got no answers. None, notta one. I gave it up and just fell into the chat THEY were having instead. I was making it like I was along for the ride and that was all.
But that wasn't going to be the case. No, of course, it wouldn't be. We arrived just outside a state park and at that hour there was no one around. This was a bad dream it was, or at least I wished it to be. I tried to freeze my brain to have not a thought in me noggin with a Slurpee bought at a 7-Eleven along the way. Yup, perfect brain freeze was what I was going for, so I wouldn't remember a thing. If only. But that was all shot to hell by a man dressed like a pirate riding a donkey.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
