252
R. Linda:
So here's me day, I get up to go into work when me wife shuffles in and informs yours truly she isn't feeling well, could I stay home and do a few things for "mum." HER mum that is. I arrived home last night to find the dragon-in-law had arrived unexpectedly to pitch in and help the ailing preggers wife. You can imagine me surprise, no make that me shock, at finding the dragon in me lounge, on me couch, wrapped in me fav green blankie! Yes, I had left it out so when I was ready to relax, I could wrap meself in it and be comfy as I watched the telly. I never thought to put it up because I never thought the dragon would be arriving.
Back to this morning -- I ask the wife what is ailing her and she says her cold is got her stuffy and she's croaking like a frog because her voice be near gone. I said to her, but your mam is here to take care of you and she looks at me and says, yes, but mam accidentally sat on her glasses, both lenses came out, she doesn't know which goes in which slot and besides the frame be bent badly. I rolled me eyes and was chastised for that because the glasses thing was all me fault somehow. Seems when I sat down at the teeny tiny end of me couch (the dragon was spread out on it), I made her move and when she did, she rolled over on her glasses, but because of the fat on her, she didn't feel them under her, so she must have moved about enough to pop out the lenses and bend the frame. If I hadn't made her move, this would never have happened, thus it was all me fault!
Therefore, it was me job to take her to the optician to get her glasses fixed. Meanwhile, the dragon had on another pair that were making her nauseous. The sooner I got her to the optician the better. I called me work, told them I had a family emergency and I'd not be in. I find the dragon be sitting in me kitchen with three pairs of glasses. She says to me she tried to get the lenses back in the frames, but thinks she has them in the wrong sides because when she puts them on, things look blurry and weird. The other pair is the same frame but doesn't have her "binoculars" in them. Here is an aside for you on the subject of binoculars. What the dragon was referring to were her bifocals, for some reason she has a brain burp that when she refers to bifocals what comes out of her mouth is binoculars. Go ahead laugh, I've had many a moment trying to translate to me own brain the secret language of Dragonese.
The other frames are these bent things that the spring is gone from one ear piece, but she forgot she still had them in her purse and by-golly those are the ones she can see out of. But those aren't the ones on her face, the one's without the binoculars are what she's wearing. Well, I took all this in mindlessly without really thinking about it and left her to finish her coffee while I changed into more casual clothing. When I came back she had her coat and hat on, and was ready to go.
We get to the opticians and they very graciously take us in and we sit down with a lovely young woman who is the epitome of courtesy. The dragon explains in so many words what happened, making me a joke and the whole story very funny to the lady optician. They are laughing and I be sitting there wishing I wasn't the red faced butt of the joke in front of such a lovely lady, but the dragon isn't going to claim any fault in that she foolishly forgot were she had placed the glasses, thus damaging them.
The young lady says, "Now are these transition lenses?"
Dragon: "Yes, but when I put the lenses in, I think I put them in the wrong eye holes."
Optician: "Well, you can't really do that because if you look at the shape of the lens it will only pop back into one side of the frame, so no these are in right."
Dragon (taking glasses back and holding them to her eyes backwards): "But I see better this way than if I put them on correctly."
Optician: "Well, let me adjust the ear piece and I'll clean them up. Be right back."
Not two seconds go by the dragon looks in her purse and says, "OH, I think I gave her the wrong glasses."
I rolled me eyes as the optician returned and handed her the adjusted glasses. The dragon tells her what she thinks and the young lady looked at the other pair of frames, and said, "The spring is gone on these, and they look very old."
Meanwhile, the dragon has put the fixed glasses on and says, "I can't read. I can't see to read."
Optician: "You know I couldn't find the line on those glasses and I don't think they are bifocals, I think they are single vision."
There is a silence as a brain storm hits the dragon, her eyes go wide, her mouth opens in a big 'O' and she takes off the glasses and looks at them closely. Then she says, "Oh my gracious, neither of these is the right glasses. I left them at my daughter's."
Not I left them at Gabe's house, no, no, but that was just great, that meant I had to drive her home and then come back.
Optician: "Can you come back tomorrow at 3? I will be free then and can fix the other frames for you."
Much laughter and the young woman actually thanking the dragon for bringing laughter to her day. I WASN'T LAUGHING. I had to find me happy place, being the butt of a joke that wasn't really funny. I had a smile on me face as if I saw the humour. I was imagining the dragon-in-law in a chair with spikes, with her feet toasting over an open flame. Kind of like the inquisition, yes, the dragon-in-law over an open fire -- that image warms the cockles of me black heart it does.
Of course we can come back tomorrow, it doesn't matter I will miss another day of work, NO, that's okay. Gees it's only Gabe's livelihood on the line here, but well, we have three pairs of glasses and we can't see out of any of them, but hey that's okay Gabe will get them all fixed up TOMORROW!
Gabe
Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So here's me day, I get up to go into work when me wife shuffles in and informs yours truly she isn't feeling well, could I stay home and do a few things for "mum." HER mum that is. I arrived home last night to find the dragon-in-law had arrived unexpectedly to pitch in and help the ailing preggers wife. You can imagine me surprise, no make that me shock, at finding the dragon in me lounge, on me couch, wrapped in me fav green blankie! Yes, I had left it out so when I was ready to relax, I could wrap meself in it and be comfy as I watched the telly. I never thought to put it up because I never thought the dragon would be arriving.
Back to this morning -- I ask the wife what is ailing her and she says her cold is got her stuffy and she's croaking like a frog because her voice be near gone. I said to her, but your mam is here to take care of you and she looks at me and says, yes, but mam accidentally sat on her glasses, both lenses came out, she doesn't know which goes in which slot and besides the frame be bent badly. I rolled me eyes and was chastised for that because the glasses thing was all me fault somehow. Seems when I sat down at the teeny tiny end of me couch (the dragon was spread out on it), I made her move and when she did, she rolled over on her glasses, but because of the fat on her, she didn't feel them under her, so she must have moved about enough to pop out the lenses and bend the frame. If I hadn't made her move, this would never have happened, thus it was all me fault!
Therefore, it was me job to take her to the optician to get her glasses fixed. Meanwhile, the dragon had on another pair that were making her nauseous. The sooner I got her to the optician the better. I called me work, told them I had a family emergency and I'd not be in. I find the dragon be sitting in me kitchen with three pairs of glasses. She says to me she tried to get the lenses back in the frames, but thinks she has them in the wrong sides because when she puts them on, things look blurry and weird. The other pair is the same frame but doesn't have her "binoculars" in them. Here is an aside for you on the subject of binoculars. What the dragon was referring to were her bifocals, for some reason she has a brain burp that when she refers to bifocals what comes out of her mouth is binoculars. Go ahead laugh, I've had many a moment trying to translate to me own brain the secret language of Dragonese.
The other frames are these bent things that the spring is gone from one ear piece, but she forgot she still had them in her purse and by-golly those are the ones she can see out of. But those aren't the ones on her face, the one's without the binoculars are what she's wearing. Well, I took all this in mindlessly without really thinking about it and left her to finish her coffee while I changed into more casual clothing. When I came back she had her coat and hat on, and was ready to go.
We get to the opticians and they very graciously take us in and we sit down with a lovely young woman who is the epitome of courtesy. The dragon explains in so many words what happened, making me a joke and the whole story very funny to the lady optician. They are laughing and I be sitting there wishing I wasn't the red faced butt of the joke in front of such a lovely lady, but the dragon isn't going to claim any fault in that she foolishly forgot were she had placed the glasses, thus damaging them.
The young lady says, "Now are these transition lenses?"
Dragon: "Yes, but when I put the lenses in, I think I put them in the wrong eye holes."
Optician: "Well, you can't really do that because if you look at the shape of the lens it will only pop back into one side of the frame, so no these are in right."
Dragon (taking glasses back and holding them to her eyes backwards): "But I see better this way than if I put them on correctly."
Optician: "Well, let me adjust the ear piece and I'll clean them up. Be right back."
Not two seconds go by the dragon looks in her purse and says, "OH, I think I gave her the wrong glasses."
I rolled me eyes as the optician returned and handed her the adjusted glasses. The dragon tells her what she thinks and the young lady looked at the other pair of frames, and said, "The spring is gone on these, and they look very old."
Meanwhile, the dragon has put the fixed glasses on and says, "I can't read. I can't see to read."
Optician: "You know I couldn't find the line on those glasses and I don't think they are bifocals, I think they are single vision."
There is a silence as a brain storm hits the dragon, her eyes go wide, her mouth opens in a big 'O' and she takes off the glasses and looks at them closely. Then she says, "Oh my gracious, neither of these is the right glasses. I left them at my daughter's."
Not I left them at Gabe's house, no, no, but that was just great, that meant I had to drive her home and then come back.
Optician: "Can you come back tomorrow at 3? I will be free then and can fix the other frames for you."
Much laughter and the young woman actually thanking the dragon for bringing laughter to her day. I WASN'T LAUGHING. I had to find me happy place, being the butt of a joke that wasn't really funny. I had a smile on me face as if I saw the humour. I was imagining the dragon-in-law in a chair with spikes, with her feet toasting over an open flame. Kind of like the inquisition, yes, the dragon-in-law over an open fire -- that image warms the cockles of me black heart it does.
Of course we can come back tomorrow, it doesn't matter I will miss another day of work, NO, that's okay. Gees it's only Gabe's livelihood on the line here, but well, we have three pairs of glasses and we can't see out of any of them, but hey that's okay Gabe will get them all fixed up TOMORROW!
Gabe
Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved
