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Chapter 2 of 3 . . . maybe
Herhinny threw over her shoulder to Rotter, "I'm having a really good time right now." And she was, you could see it in her eyes, she was loving it.
"You are such a tool," Rotter said shaking off his stupor. He dug inside his robes for his wand, a metal ring sizing tool because he couldn't find a proper stick. He pointed it at O'Dolnut.
O'Dolnut laughed at the sight.
"Really Rotter, you think you can do anything with that THING?"
"Just you wait, it might not be very flexible but it does a great job. If you want to know what size your ring is."
Everyone let their wands drop to their sides as they glanced at Rotter and his metal 'wand'. Once everyone got the look of him looking important pointing the ring sizer at O'Dolnut they flipped their wands back to point.
"I don't like guns or ring sizers," Weasil said in a low voice, "I like swords."
Again, everyone let down their guard and this time looked at Weasil. His back was reflected in the mirror on the wall behind him, when everyone but O'Dolnut noticed their images they adjusted robes or patted hair in place.
"Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear." O'Dolnut said in a robot impression voice and everyone turned back to what they had been doing, which was point at O'Dolnut, but feeling embarrassed at getting caught primping.
"All o' ya, sharp as wet mice in a bag." O'Dolnut muttered. "So what's next laddies and lassie? We all going to stand here like fools or is one of you going to make a move?"
"You buttered your bread . . . go lie in it!" Herhinny shouted pressing the button on her wand, it shot out sparks at O'Dolnut. But he was too quick, his wand buffeted back the sparks and with a sharp flick of his wrist O'Dolnut's wand shot out it's own sparks, bigger ones and sent Herhinny's spell back at her. Suddenly Weasil looked down to see he was standing next to a piece of buttered toast. He looked at Rotter startled, and Rotter was just as startled, but not for long.
"Oh yeah O'Dolnut!" Rotter hit the bottom of his ring sizer with the palm of his hand sending green sparks slowly towards O'Dolnut, who put his wand down and looked at his watch.
"Those electric repel rays will reach me in about an hour Rotter. Gee, what can I do while I wait? Oh I know," and with that he lifted up his wand and flicked it hard in the direction of Rotter. Suddenly blue and white streaks of electricity flew across the room hitting Rotter's metal wand and an electric current buzzed through the metal wand to Rotter's hand. He tried to drop the ring sizer but the electric current wouldn't allow it. He found himself being pushed back into the old stone wall not being able to move or break the connection. O'Dolnut laughed demonically.
"Next!" He shouted at Weasil. "Hey you, with the room temperature IQ, let's see what you've got."
The Weasil's eyes grew hard and beady. He tried to look as daring as he could, but inside he was mush.
"Hum, the gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming," O'Dolnut thought taking a good long hard look at the Weasil. "This is too easy. I can't take advantage of someone who's antenna doesn't pick up all the channels. Ah hell yes, I can." And with that he whipped the wand up and flicked it at Weasil, suddenly yellow and orange flames shot out and surrounded the Weasil blocking him from sight. O'Dolnut let up and there stood a french fried and charred Weasil. The sizzle could be heard from where O'Dolnut was standing on the other side of the room.
"Well Weasil, it's nice to see you aren't that dense light would bend around you. You just going to stand there or do you have anything left?"
Nothing came from Weasil, he stood there hair stuck out from all sides like he had put his finger in an electrical outlet, his clothing tattered and blacked with gapping holes in places near where you wouldn't want to see them. The fine hair on his arms were singed and the lad sported no eyebrows whatsoever.
"So the receiver is still off the hook is it there, Weasil?" O'Dolnut looked at his feet and sighed. The only thing to do now was to go over and drag Rotter out. Just as he turned to do just that, the door opened with a bang and the burger eating man fell in.
"Sorry, so sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping really I wasn't." He began to crawl back out the door, until O'Dolnut's voice stopped him.
"Just one minute there burger kling, you seem to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic."
"Uh oh," the burger man simpered.
Just then Saco Mouthy came through the doorway with his wand drawn. He was aiming it at O'Dolnut as he shoved the burger man out the door and kicked it shut behind him. Yes, all this with arm extended, eyes straight on his target and looking dashing as all heck with his slicked back silver white hair gleaming in the firelight. Yes, he cut a fine figure :::cough::: but I digress.
"YOU, YOU ARE SIR BOLDA something or other, no matter, I am here to save my good friend Rotter, and if you believe that, I'd like to show you a bridge I have up for sale . . . cheap!" Mouthy said, looking all stately, his eyes shining with confidence, his jaw set . . . but I digress . . . again.
"Bridge? Bridge you say? It just so happens, I am looking for a bridge." O'Dolnut said looking very handsome and serious, but we know he wasn't serious, that was someone else that sort of resembled him. Then under his breath as he aimed his wand at Saco he muttered, "And you my young friend look like if I stand close enough to you I could probably hear the ocean."
Yes, he's a witty fellow that O'Dolnut, and sarcastic, don't forget that!
"Yes a bridge, a fine bridge, you can drive across it, or walk across it, or bike across it." Saco said in a matter-of-fact voice.
"Ah, a bridge that lets you cross from one side to the other. My God, who'd a thunk it? Splendid." O'Dolnut's eyes narrowed as he took a few menacing steps towards the bridge selling Mouthy. "How much?" Then to himself he said, "Saco old boy, if you had another brain, it would be lonely."
"Let's see, for you, a quarter of a million buckeroos."
O'Dolnut jumped back stunned. "Hum sure your name isn't Percy?" O'Dolnut asked, then to himself he said, "His elevator doesn't seem to stop at every floor. This is advantageous."
"Percy is my father. But I, Saco Mouthy am selling this day a bridge to this fellow." This said with a stately and magnanimous gesture of sweeping his wand into a bow as if he had an audience and he sort of did. There were 100 petrified Grayfender students on one wall, a piece of buttered toast on the floor next to a burnt Weasil and Rotter was glued by electricity to the other wall. How gracious a fellow is our smooth talking and lying tongued Mr. Mouthy. I am impressed, but I digress . . . once again.
"Ain't no bridge."
"Who said that?" Both Mouthy and O'Dolnut said startled.
"I did, da shite fer brains yer makin all kinda remarkies bout." The Weasil said coming back from charred to charbroil or wherever his burnt out brain had gone to. Slowly he held his wand pointing it first at O'Dolnut then at Mouthy, then at himself, because it kept flipping back.
The flame and singeing had miraculously improved Weasil's look, though it seemed temporary. Suddenly his whole countenance looked like that of a well educated young laddie and just as amazing his speech was understandable!
"If either of you moves, I will have Stumbledoor take you down."
O'Dolnut and Mouthy looked threateningly at the coherent Weasil.
"Smart as bait as always you dolt Weasil! Stumbledoor, hah!" Mouthy said as if he were centre stage with an audience.
"His skylight leaks a little wouldn't you say?" O'Dolnut asked Mouthy.
"I should say both of you show too much yardage between Quidditch posts." A voice boomed from behind them.
"Stumbledoor!" Mouthy and O'Dolnut gasped spinning around.
"Yes, Stumbledoor," said Stumbledoor pointing his wand at both of them. "You, O'Dolnut will no longer wreck havoc on Pigs Boil Academy ever Again!" And with that his wand flashed out a super sized sizzle of crackly purple and white rays and O'Dolnut went down. Before Mouthy could mouth off, the same flash hit him full in his open cakehole and he was pushed back into the electrified Rotter where the two of them slid to the hard, cold stone floor, tangled up in each other.
"Oh no, you got Rotter there Stumbledoor!" Weasil said running over to where the two lay crumpled in a heap of arms and legs.
"YOU! Aren't you the bright one that wanted to build a submarine with a sunroof?" Stumbledoor asked Weasil.
"Nah, it was the motorbike with air conditioning."
"Oh yeah, I guess," Stumbledoor muttered looking at the tip of his wand. "What happened to the helicopter idea with the ejector seat?"
"I d'sided on inventin' a tent wit a doorbellie an security system insteadie," Weasil said, his fried brain reverting back to normal as he pulled Rotter out of his entanglement with Mouthy.
"How'd that work for you?"
"It dint werk sos I invented a wooden barbecue insteadie."
"Ah," Stumbledoor mumbled.
"I did, da shite fer brains yer makin all kinda remarkies bout." The Weasil said coming back from charred to charbroil or wherever his burnt out brain had gone to. Slowly he held his wand pointing it first at O'Dolnut then at Mouthy, then at himself, because it kept flipping back.
The flame and singeing had miraculously improved Weasil's look, though it seemed temporary. Suddenly his whole countenance looked like that of a well educated young laddie and just as amazing his speech was understandable!
"If either of you moves, I will have Stumbledoor take you down."
O'Dolnut and Mouthy looked threateningly at the coherent Weasil.
"Smart as bait as always you dolt Weasil! Stumbledoor, hah!" Mouthy said as if he were centre stage with an audience.
"His skylight leaks a little wouldn't you say?" O'Dolnut asked Mouthy.
"I should say both of you show too much yardage between Quidditch posts." A voice boomed from behind them.
"Stumbledoor!" Mouthy and O'Dolnut gasped spinning around.
"Yes, Stumbledoor," said Stumbledoor pointing his wand at both of them. "You, O'Dolnut will no longer wreck havoc on Pigs Boil Academy ever Again!" And with that his wand flashed out a super sized sizzle of crackly purple and white rays and O'Dolnut went down. Before Mouthy could mouth off, the same flash hit him full in his open cakehole and he was pushed back into the electrified Rotter where the two of them slid to the hard, cold stone floor, tangled up in each other.
"Oh no, you got Rotter there Stumbledoor!" Weasil said running over to where the two lay crumpled in a heap of arms and legs.
"YOU! Aren't you the bright one that wanted to build a submarine with a sunroof?" Stumbledoor asked Weasil.
"Nah, it was the motorbike with air conditioning."
"Oh yeah, I guess," Stumbledoor muttered looking at the tip of his wand. "What happened to the helicopter idea with the ejector seat?"
"I d'sided on inventin' a tent wit a doorbellie an security system insteadie," Weasil said, his fried brain reverting back to normal as he pulled Rotter out of his entanglement with Mouthy.
"How'd that work for you?"
"It dint werk sos I invented a wooden barbecue insteadie."
"Ah," Stumbledoor mumbled.
To be continued . . . maybe
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