30 September 2010
309
R. Linda:
Not long ago, before the monsoon, I was quite content to take meself to me backyard and just kick back in me fav hammie, iced tea in hand, nice afternoon breeze blowing, just chilling out. Yup, then the phone rang or as Weasil calls it the phoney baloney rang. Yee-ah.
I let it ring, Tonya had taken the boys out to the store, and I was not getting up out of me comfort zone to go answer. I did have me mobile phone and that's just for family, so I knew it wasn't her. Well, the damn phone rang and rang and rang. Then it stopped. I settled back, when burrring it started again. Three times this happened until I could not take it anymore and slammed inside to answer. I picked it up, and said, "Hello!" and there was no one there. I slammed the receiver down and started out the door when it started ringing again. I flew back in and this time after me angrier HELLO, there was silence like you get when you have a computer ring you up. I was going to slam the phone down as soon as I heard an automated voice, but I didn't hear a voice, I heard MUSIC. The kind you hear in elevators. I was like what the f---? I stood there repeating 'hello' several times when a voice came on and told me to "Hold please." WHAT THE HEY? I said, "You're kidding me right?" Nothing, just the music.
I stood there like a complete fool and waited. Yes, I did. I know what you're thinking, but think of this, if I didn't "hold" the bloody phone would ring again, and again, etc., so it was either answer it once and for all and be done with it.
Well, after a few intolerable moments, a cheery feminine voice comes on with this:
"Hello, sorry to keep you waiting, but I am Kimberly Twainhart and I am representing Surveys National I would like to ask you a few questions that will only take three minutes of your time."
Right. Three minutes of me time that I already had wasted 6 of just waiting on "hold."
"If it is only 3 minutes Ms. Twainhart, you have me attention," said I.
There was a moment's hesitation on the other end.
"Sir, are you an American citizen?"
"Why yes I am," I replied proudly.
"Oh okay. First question: Are you a registered voter?"
"Affirmative!" I shout happily.
Another pause, I was sure she didn't quite know what to make of me.
"Second question: Are you going to vote in the November elections?"
"Certainly!" I say enthusiastically.
"Are you a registered Democrat, Republican or an Independent?"
"Republican!"
"Are you likely to vote straight party ticket, or pick and choose?"
"Pick and choose!"
"So sir, then you are not happy with the Republican party?"
I didn't have to think on that, I said, "Not particularly happy with any party, including the Tea one."
"Are you more inclined to vote for Charlie Bass, or his opponent Annie Kuster?"
"None of your business."
"Sir, it is only a poll not information we are going to share."
"Well then, I don't know yet."
"Ok. Next question are you inclined to vote for Kelly Ayotte or Paul Hodes?"
"Kelly."
"And why is that, sir?"
"Because she's pretty."
"No, really."
"That's the reason. Take it or leave it."
"Uh, next question: Do you think property taxes are too high."
"Of course I do."
"Would you be open to a state income tax?"
"NO."
"Are you voting for John Stephens or John Lynch?"
"Actually I be writing in me candidate."
"Would you share your write-in?"
"Certainly, me wife."
"No, really who would you write in?"
"Me wife. I think she would make a splendidly fine governor. Better than what we have now."
"Then let me ask you this, has she or does she hold elected office?"
"Nope, not yet."
"Well, thank you for your time." CLICK
Strangely enough, me phone has been quiet. This survey company calls regularly because me wife loves taking polls. I be not inclined to that, so to talk to me about anything that does not remotely interest me is a waste of company time and funds. It's been lovely listening to the monsoon and the blowing winds, and the telephone is silent. Lovely, when one is recovering from a healthy dose of childhood cold given lovingly by two wonderful hacking their heads off children. So here I be sitting in me quiet house (except for the three of us outdoing one another in the coughing department) enjoying the fact the phone is not ringing with surveys.
Happy in monsoon-like New Hampshire,
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Not long ago, before the monsoon, I was quite content to take meself to me backyard and just kick back in me fav hammie, iced tea in hand, nice afternoon breeze blowing, just chilling out. Yup, then the phone rang or as Weasil calls it the phoney baloney rang. Yee-ah.
I let it ring, Tonya had taken the boys out to the store, and I was not getting up out of me comfort zone to go answer. I did have me mobile phone and that's just for family, so I knew it wasn't her. Well, the damn phone rang and rang and rang. Then it stopped. I settled back, when burrring it started again. Three times this happened until I could not take it anymore and slammed inside to answer. I picked it up, and said, "Hello!" and there was no one there. I slammed the receiver down and started out the door when it started ringing again. I flew back in and this time after me angrier HELLO, there was silence like you get when you have a computer ring you up. I was going to slam the phone down as soon as I heard an automated voice, but I didn't hear a voice, I heard MUSIC. The kind you hear in elevators. I was like what the f---? I stood there repeating 'hello' several times when a voice came on and told me to "Hold please." WHAT THE HEY? I said, "You're kidding me right?" Nothing, just the music.
I stood there like a complete fool and waited. Yes, I did. I know what you're thinking, but think of this, if I didn't "hold" the bloody phone would ring again, and again, etc., so it was either answer it once and for all and be done with it.
Well, after a few intolerable moments, a cheery feminine voice comes on with this:
"Hello, sorry to keep you waiting, but I am Kimberly Twainhart and I am representing Surveys National I would like to ask you a few questions that will only take three minutes of your time."
Right. Three minutes of me time that I already had wasted 6 of just waiting on "hold."
"If it is only 3 minutes Ms. Twainhart, you have me attention," said I.
There was a moment's hesitation on the other end.
"Sir, are you an American citizen?"
"Why yes I am," I replied proudly.
"Oh okay. First question: Are you a registered voter?"
"Affirmative!" I shout happily.
Another pause, I was sure she didn't quite know what to make of me.
"Second question: Are you going to vote in the November elections?"
"Certainly!" I say enthusiastically.
"Are you a registered Democrat, Republican or an Independent?"
"Republican!"
"Are you likely to vote straight party ticket, or pick and choose?"
"Pick and choose!"
"So sir, then you are not happy with the Republican party?"
I didn't have to think on that, I said, "Not particularly happy with any party, including the Tea one."
"Are you more inclined to vote for Charlie Bass, or his opponent Annie Kuster?"
"None of your business."
"Sir, it is only a poll not information we are going to share."
"Well then, I don't know yet."
"Ok. Next question are you inclined to vote for Kelly Ayotte or Paul Hodes?"
"Kelly."
"And why is that, sir?"
"Because she's pretty."
"No, really."
"That's the reason. Take it or leave it."
"Uh, next question: Do you think property taxes are too high."
"Of course I do."
"Would you be open to a state income tax?"
"NO."
"Are you voting for John Stephens or John Lynch?"
"Actually I be writing in me candidate."
"Would you share your write-in?"
"Certainly, me wife."
"No, really who would you write in?"
"Me wife. I think she would make a splendidly fine governor. Better than what we have now."
"Then let me ask you this, has she or does she hold elected office?"
"Nope, not yet."
"Well, thank you for your time." CLICK
Strangely enough, me phone has been quiet. This survey company calls regularly because me wife loves taking polls. I be not inclined to that, so to talk to me about anything that does not remotely interest me is a waste of company time and funds. It's been lovely listening to the monsoon and the blowing winds, and the telephone is silent. Lovely, when one is recovering from a healthy dose of childhood cold given lovingly by two wonderful hacking their heads off children. So here I be sitting in me quiet house (except for the three of us outdoing one another in the coughing department) enjoying the fact the phone is not ringing with surveys.
Happy in monsoon-like New Hampshire,
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
