290
R. Linda:
The Irish have a reputation for being mindless dolts at times and as an Irishman it often rankles me that it be thought about us that way. But occasionally, I must concede that we are mindless dolts and I blame it on the drink I do. It was brought to me attention today that there is a glaring mistake on the new road maps that any lost tourist can get hold of while traipsing about me beautiful isle. It seems County Kilkenny is now a part (a large part) of County Waterford. Yes indeed, but no one told the locals this. When this happened exactly there be no official record, but the map, yes the MAP says it be so. Imagine, you go to bed thinking you live in Kilkenny and wake up finding that was a dream, you actually live in Waterford!
But wait! It doesn't end there, no indeed it does not. If you think you're visiting County Cork you aren't really! You're in County Kerry and you didn't even know it! It's magic I tell ya. The leprechauns have been mapmaking overnight they have. So if you are going over to the emerald isle, just be ready, you will not be where you think you are, so when you take all those glorious photographs of standing stones in Kerry, they really be in Cork. Oi!
Can you see yourself with your holiday photos, saying to your near and dear, "Here we are at the Waterford Crystal place in Waterford, or was that Wexford? And here we are at the Dingle Peninsula in uh . . . I think that was County Galway? Anyway, here we are at the Giants Causeway in Antrim, no, no that was Tyrone. Oh here we go, here we are at the Cliffs of Mohar in uh . . . outside Dublin!" Oh yes, could be an interesting slideshow. Any true Irish person would be sitting there totally confused as to where the hell you holidayed.
This would be akin to me telling me relatives to go to Bunker Hill and sending them to the Empire State Building. Or worse, telling them Las Vegas is in Utah. "Yes cousin Sean, we moved them! Thought Bunker Hill looked best in the middle of Central Park and the Empire State Building now has a spectacular view of Boston. And Cousin Sean, Utah wasn't happening enough so we moved Las Vegas there and threw Salt lake City into the state of Nevada to give those gambler sorts some religion." For sure.
So if you are going over the pond to Ireland, don't bother with the OFFICIAL Road Atlas, it will have you lost for St. Patrick knows how long and you may not get to where you thought your reservations were. You may be camping out with the traveling tinkers for all you know. Think of it, 32 counties and YOU will only see four because the rest of them are all annexed into another. Short and sweet.
Good luck to all who travel to Eire this summer, should be quite a show of motors pulled to the side of the road, drivers all with maps out, scratching heads, shouting at each other, locals confused to where anything is, shouting back, "THE MAP says it's over there!" "Well, it isn't OVER THERE!" "Shannon Airport sure does look like Dublin Airport." "Oh, I don't think there is an airport, looks like a cow pasture to me." And for the locals it could be really confusing. "No, it's over that way!" "Are ye sure because I have lived here all me life and it isn't there anymore! Where'd me house go?" "Why am I paying Waterford taxes when I live in Kilkenny?" "Who moved the Temple Pub to Shannon?" Oh it could get dodgy it could.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
The Irish have a reputation for being mindless dolts at times and as an Irishman it often rankles me that it be thought about us that way. But occasionally, I must concede that we are mindless dolts and I blame it on the drink I do. It was brought to me attention today that there is a glaring mistake on the new road maps that any lost tourist can get hold of while traipsing about me beautiful isle. It seems County Kilkenny is now a part (a large part) of County Waterford. Yes indeed, but no one told the locals this. When this happened exactly there be no official record, but the map, yes the MAP says it be so. Imagine, you go to bed thinking you live in Kilkenny and wake up finding that was a dream, you actually live in Waterford!
But wait! It doesn't end there, no indeed it does not. If you think you're visiting County Cork you aren't really! You're in County Kerry and you didn't even know it! It's magic I tell ya. The leprechauns have been mapmaking overnight they have. So if you are going over to the emerald isle, just be ready, you will not be where you think you are, so when you take all those glorious photographs of standing stones in Kerry, they really be in Cork. Oi!
Can you see yourself with your holiday photos, saying to your near and dear, "Here we are at the Waterford Crystal place in Waterford, or was that Wexford? And here we are at the Dingle Peninsula in uh . . . I think that was County Galway? Anyway, here we are at the Giants Causeway in Antrim, no, no that was Tyrone. Oh here we go, here we are at the Cliffs of Mohar in uh . . . outside Dublin!" Oh yes, could be an interesting slideshow. Any true Irish person would be sitting there totally confused as to where the hell you holidayed.
This would be akin to me telling me relatives to go to Bunker Hill and sending them to the Empire State Building. Or worse, telling them Las Vegas is in Utah. "Yes cousin Sean, we moved them! Thought Bunker Hill looked best in the middle of Central Park and the Empire State Building now has a spectacular view of Boston. And Cousin Sean, Utah wasn't happening enough so we moved Las Vegas there and threw Salt lake City into the state of Nevada to give those gambler sorts some religion." For sure.
So if you are going over the pond to Ireland, don't bother with the OFFICIAL Road Atlas, it will have you lost for St. Patrick knows how long and you may not get to where you thought your reservations were. You may be camping out with the traveling tinkers for all you know. Think of it, 32 counties and YOU will only see four because the rest of them are all annexed into another. Short and sweet.
Good luck to all who travel to Eire this summer, should be quite a show of motors pulled to the side of the road, drivers all with maps out, scratching heads, shouting at each other, locals confused to where anything is, shouting back, "THE MAP says it's over there!" "Well, it isn't OVER THERE!" "Shannon Airport sure does look like Dublin Airport." "Oh, I don't think there is an airport, looks like a cow pasture to me." And for the locals it could be really confusing. "No, it's over that way!" "Are ye sure because I have lived here all me life and it isn't there anymore! Where'd me house go?" "Why am I paying Waterford taxes when I live in Kilkenny?" "Who moved the Temple Pub to Shannon?" Oh it could get dodgy it could.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
