16 March 2019
945
R. Linda:
About a year ago, Weasil told me about a band he wanted to see. The tickets sell out really fast and each time he's tried to get tickets he's been too late. He has told all his friends about his wanting to see the band Ghost and finally there seems there be a ticket with Weasil's name on it, only it comes with not perks (there is a backstage pass, oh yes there is), but there is also a condition or more accurately a condition the Weasil must assume if he be to see his fav band in concert.
Here's how it came down, Weasil rang me up he'd be around the "hood" as he calls it and he was meeting up with Captain Jack because he bought the Captain a car badge you can only get in England for his vehicle, and would I meet up for lunch with them since we haven't seen each other in over a year. The Captain I haven't seen in over a year, Weasil, nah I wish I could say that, but he shows up at me door (as you know) anytime he pleases and it's been more like a couple of months not a year since I saw the wicked laddie last.
So I met up with these two in Portsmouth, New Hampshire which was a half way point for the Captain who lives in Maine, and meself who lives in central N.H. Lunch went well, the place be a new and very expensive bistro that caters to the young executive crowd. The Captain, wasn't expecting this as he was dressed like the typical Mainer, flannel shirt, jeans, blue tinted RayBans and looking a lot like Johnny Depp. Me, well I was in pressed trousers and a casual shirt so I fit in but I had to go to a function with the wife later and would have no time to change, otherwise I would have be dressed like Jack. Weasil was his usual put together sporty self so the only one of us who should have been uncomfortable in such digs was Captain Jack. BUT looking so much like Depp he was the darling of the restaurant. When we walked in, because of Jack's casual attire, diners looked in our direction and then looked again with funny smiles on their faces thinking the genuine article was actually walking in the door. The hostess took a double take and then in a small tentative voice, asked him if he were that guy. If it was up to Weasil, he would have told her yes, but Jack being used to this sort of thing, smiled and told her no he wasn't, just looks an awful lot like him. She didn't believe him it was quite obvious. Let me tell you there be nothing worse than eating lunch with everyone looking over at your table. I don't know how Jack does it but he ignores all the elbowing, pointing, and gawking like a pro.
Anyway, as we were sitting there Weasil's phone or "phoney boloney" as he calls it rang. It was Wolfie. Wolfie having played in a band in his younger years still has friends in the business. He had got a ticket for the Weas to go to the Ghost concert. Only there was a catch he said. You're going to like this -- Wolfie asked Weasil how his wheelchair skills were. It seems the only ticket available was from a friend of Wolfie's who's wife has MS and she be wheel chair bound. She had the ticket to go, but decided she'd rather do something else, so her ticket and her husbands were available. Wolfie had not been able to get in touch with Weasil first to offer the other ticket so he rang up another friend who also wanted to go. Of course the other guy did not want to go in a wheelchair, so he took the other ticket. The ticket that was left was for the wheelchair section, and for that Mr. W would have to procure a chair and wheel himself in. The good of this was there was a backstage pass for the wheelchair ticket! Like dangling a carrot you know?
Weasil had Wolfie on speaker and decided to go outside and discuss this leaving me and Jack sitting there looking very amused at each other and trying not to laugh.
"I think Wolfie did that on purpose." Jack said to me. "He has been pestered by the Weasil for what must seem like forever about this ticket business and I think Wolfie is trying to teach him a lesson."
"Yeah," I said, "but I wouldn't put it past the Weasil to accept said ticket and wheel himself in, especially if there be a backstage pass."
"No, he wouldn't." Jack said glancing out the window at the pacing and animated Weasil.
"Oh, I think he would."
Weasil really wanted that ticket and if what he had to do to get it wasn't unreasonable, he'd do it by cracky, and I said as much to Jack.
"Whoa! Even for the Weasil, that's a bit much." Jack said.
"I bet he does it. He's desperate to see this group and he's had no luck buying tickets because they sell out quick."
Weasil came back looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. I was quite certain he was going to impersonate a handicapped person, so I said to him if he got caught, he'd be in big trouble. I noticed the smile faded at that statement of fact. But you never know with the Weasil what he's thinking or not for that matter.
"Where would you get a chair from?" Jack asked. "Do they rent those things, I suppose they do."
"I dunno. I have a friendie who haz one." Weasil said casually like no big deal.
That made me think he was going to do it and I shook me head at the thought.
"It iz electric an' all and I know how ta use it."
"O-M-G!" I said. "You're not actually thinking of do that are you? I mean what if you get caught and then to go backstage, I mean have you even thought how you'd get there? I mean you can't drive yourself and then get the wheelchair out of the back and set it up and just get in and 'drive' yourself to the door. People will see you."
"I could git help."
"You would need a handicap placard so really?" Jack said. "There is a lot you'd have to do to fake it and I don't think you should do that."
Finally, sense being spoken out loud.
Well, I can safely say that between Jack and I, we were able to get that awful thought out of Weasil's head to where he rang Wolfie back and told him no, to give the ticket to someone with a disability.
"You are disabled." Wolfie told Weasil on the speaker phone. "I have never known you to be normal."
"Oh ha ha." Weasil said. "Jus give it ta sum one else."
"I was kidding with you Weas. The ticket is yours with a backstage pass, no handicapped section."
Okay so who was meaner, Wolfie for the deception or Weasil for actually thinking about it?
"Wit friends like da Wolf who needs enemies, eh?" Weasil said somewhat hotly.
Yeah and I was thinking he got his come uppence so there! Good on Wolf.
I still think if Jack and I hadn't said a word, and the ticket was for the disability section, the young whipper snapper would have rolled himself to that concert come hell or high-water, that's how much he wants so see that group. Oi! Only in me world does things like this happen.
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
945
R. Linda:
About a year ago, Weasil told me about a band he wanted to see. The tickets sell out really fast and each time he's tried to get tickets he's been too late. He has told all his friends about his wanting to see the band Ghost and finally there seems there be a ticket with Weasil's name on it, only it comes with not perks (there is a backstage pass, oh yes there is), but there is also a condition or more accurately a condition the Weasil must assume if he be to see his fav band in concert.
Here's how it came down, Weasil rang me up he'd be around the "hood" as he calls it and he was meeting up with Captain Jack because he bought the Captain a car badge you can only get in England for his vehicle, and would I meet up for lunch with them since we haven't seen each other in over a year. The Captain I haven't seen in over a year, Weasil, nah I wish I could say that, but he shows up at me door (as you know) anytime he pleases and it's been more like a couple of months not a year since I saw the wicked laddie last.
So I met up with these two in Portsmouth, New Hampshire which was a half way point for the Captain who lives in Maine, and meself who lives in central N.H. Lunch went well, the place be a new and very expensive bistro that caters to the young executive crowd. The Captain, wasn't expecting this as he was dressed like the typical Mainer, flannel shirt, jeans, blue tinted RayBans and looking a lot like Johnny Depp. Me, well I was in pressed trousers and a casual shirt so I fit in but I had to go to a function with the wife later and would have no time to change, otherwise I would have be dressed like Jack. Weasil was his usual put together sporty self so the only one of us who should have been uncomfortable in such digs was Captain Jack. BUT looking so much like Depp he was the darling of the restaurant. When we walked in, because of Jack's casual attire, diners looked in our direction and then looked again with funny smiles on their faces thinking the genuine article was actually walking in the door. The hostess took a double take and then in a small tentative voice, asked him if he were that guy. If it was up to Weasil, he would have told her yes, but Jack being used to this sort of thing, smiled and told her no he wasn't, just looks an awful lot like him. She didn't believe him it was quite obvious. Let me tell you there be nothing worse than eating lunch with everyone looking over at your table. I don't know how Jack does it but he ignores all the elbowing, pointing, and gawking like a pro.
Anyway, as we were sitting there Weasil's phone or "phoney boloney" as he calls it rang. It was Wolfie. Wolfie having played in a band in his younger years still has friends in the business. He had got a ticket for the Weas to go to the Ghost concert. Only there was a catch he said. You're going to like this -- Wolfie asked Weasil how his wheelchair skills were. It seems the only ticket available was from a friend of Wolfie's who's wife has MS and she be wheel chair bound. She had the ticket to go, but decided she'd rather do something else, so her ticket and her husbands were available. Wolfie had not been able to get in touch with Weasil first to offer the other ticket so he rang up another friend who also wanted to go. Of course the other guy did not want to go in a wheelchair, so he took the other ticket. The ticket that was left was for the wheelchair section, and for that Mr. W would have to procure a chair and wheel himself in. The good of this was there was a backstage pass for the wheelchair ticket! Like dangling a carrot you know?
Weasil had Wolfie on speaker and decided to go outside and discuss this leaving me and Jack sitting there looking very amused at each other and trying not to laugh.
"I think Wolfie did that on purpose." Jack said to me. "He has been pestered by the Weasil for what must seem like forever about this ticket business and I think Wolfie is trying to teach him a lesson."
"Yeah," I said, "but I wouldn't put it past the Weasil to accept said ticket and wheel himself in, especially if there be a backstage pass."
"No, he wouldn't." Jack said glancing out the window at the pacing and animated Weasil.
"Oh, I think he would."
Weasil really wanted that ticket and if what he had to do to get it wasn't unreasonable, he'd do it by cracky, and I said as much to Jack.
"Whoa! Even for the Weasil, that's a bit much." Jack said.
"I bet he does it. He's desperate to see this group and he's had no luck buying tickets because they sell out quick."
Weasil came back looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. I was quite certain he was going to impersonate a handicapped person, so I said to him if he got caught, he'd be in big trouble. I noticed the smile faded at that statement of fact. But you never know with the Weasil what he's thinking or not for that matter.
"Where would you get a chair from?" Jack asked. "Do they rent those things, I suppose they do."
"I dunno. I have a friendie who haz one." Weasil said casually like no big deal.
That made me think he was going to do it and I shook me head at the thought.
"It iz electric an' all and I know how ta use it."
"O-M-G!" I said. "You're not actually thinking of do that are you? I mean what if you get caught and then to go backstage, I mean have you even thought how you'd get there? I mean you can't drive yourself and then get the wheelchair out of the back and set it up and just get in and 'drive' yourself to the door. People will see you."
"I could git help."
"You would need a handicap placard so really?" Jack said. "There is a lot you'd have to do to fake it and I don't think you should do that."
Finally, sense being spoken out loud.
Well, I can safely say that between Jack and I, we were able to get that awful thought out of Weasil's head to where he rang Wolfie back and told him no, to give the ticket to someone with a disability.
"You are disabled." Wolfie told Weasil on the speaker phone. "I have never known you to be normal."
"Oh ha ha." Weasil said. "Jus give it ta sum one else."
"I was kidding with you Weas. The ticket is yours with a backstage pass, no handicapped section."
Okay so who was meaner, Wolfie for the deception or Weasil for actually thinking about it?
"Wit friends like da Wolf who needs enemies, eh?" Weasil said somewhat hotly.
Yeah and I was thinking he got his come uppence so there! Good on Wolf.
I still think if Jack and I hadn't said a word, and the ticket was for the disability section, the young whipper snapper would have rolled himself to that concert come hell or high-water, that's how much he wants so see that group. Oi! Only in me world does things like this happen.
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
