26 September 2011
456
R. Linda:
It be getting that time of year it be, where the wee ones are all jumping up and down over costumes for Halloween. They want them made by hand, they don't want the store-bought (and may I say the store-bought be a far cry from the stuff I had to choose from as a wee lad). But no, they want Dragon to get her magic going on the sewing machine and zip something up. Well, she offered she did, so Saturday when she rang us up and asked O'Hare what he wanted to be he had come up with something that she wasn't sure of. He was to speak to his Mam about such and get back to her, in the meantime she'd work on Guido's costume. And what did Guido want to be? Easy-peasy, he wants to be decked out as Don Corleone. Yup, he does. He saw parts of The Godfather, he wasn't supposed to but he did, and he even goes around with an orange slice over his teeth terrorising his brother. Then he takes the peel out and lowers his voice and says, "Ey O'Hare, Ima gonna make ya dis offah ya can't refuse," and then O'Hare screams and takes off with Guido behind him waving a toy gun and the orange peel. I tell ya, coming home from work to a relaxing house doesn't exist in my world, no the excitement begins just as I step in the door. SIGH. Then to make this worse, I was sitting on the couch watching CSI or NCIS or whatever and Guido came up and sat beside me with a devilish grin on his face and he looked up at me and said, "It wuz Barzini all-long." Yee-ah, the kid be creepy I tell ya.
SO for Guido, it's a mini tuxedo with spats and shiny shoes, and oh let us not forget Granny Dragon, "I needs me a Tommy-gun!" Good luck with that Granny D.
Anyway, I was all in wonder over what it was O'Hare wanted to be that gave his Grandmother pause. It didn't take long to find out. It was the next night at dinner Tonya and I were discussing Halloween trick-or-treat. It seems that every year the parents dress up for Halloween too, and they take the wee ones to the centre of town for trick or treating since it isn't allowed to go house to house for that. And well, to be quite honest none of the houses are close together here, you have to walk at least five acres if not a whole lot more to each house. We are a rural community, so to keep it safe everything is done in the centre of town. We all donate to the candy fund and each year the village buys the candy, they set up a hot dog and soda stand, and have one house that is decorated as a haunted house, and it is run from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. and it's just enough. So Tonya thinks we should join in and dress up too.
O'Hare said to me he wanted me to dress up because we would be partners. I was like, "Ok, so are you going to be a pirate? I'll get out me pirate costume," but before I could say any of that, he said. "Grandma's gonna make ya a costoom."
"UH-OH," I said taken aback I could just imagine what Granny Dragon would put me in, but being a sucker I asked what I was going as.
"Sum thin Granma says is outta character fer ya, yer gonna be Zorro!" And he made like he had a sword and sounded swish, swish, swish the mark of the Z in the air.
I sat there in mid-chew. How bizarro to be Zorro. Nah, I don't think so. So I said I had the pirate outfit and he shook his head no I needed to be Zorro!
"I wann ya ta be ZORRO!" He shouted like I was five rooms away.
"And what is it exactly YOU are going to be there sprout?" I asked amused.
"I wanna be a tree wit an owl in it. Wanda owlz eyez ta light up."
I sat there blinking trying to figure out what a tree had to do with me being Zorro and how exactly is that costume made? An owl with light-up eyes? I tell ya I have the mob boss and then I have this other kid that I don't who he is. Who in their right mind would say, "HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN? A tree with an owl in it. Yea!" Right there it smacks of some kind of brain damage. I had to look at me wife and I said, "Did we drop him on his head when he was a baby? Because I don't get this."
And Tonya sat there and giggled, yes she did. She thought it was funny. Well, I didn't. I be seriously concerned for the boyo. A tree with an owl in it. Oi! So after a while, both of us (Tonya and I) tried to talk O'Hare out of this. But no, he wants to be a tree. It's something he thought up and Tonya thinks I should be very pleased he's so creative, after all, said she, "No other kid will have a costume like his." No, I should think no one will.
But it did take my mind off what I'm supposed to dress up as. I was going merrily along not thinking of THAT at all, I was too busy trying to find other ideas for the eldest and arguing with a five-year-old is pretty pathetic. I was asked while I was running after O'Hare with a costume book, what me inseam measurement was, I said I didn't know what an inseam was, and then me shoulders were measured as I bent over the back of the couch flipping through kids' costumes with the young man seated below me, him saying, "Nope, nope, nope" to each page. I was oblivious, I was being measured for ZORRO. Oh my God. So now I was arguing I didn't want to get dressed up, then I was made to feel guilty about that by O'Hare sitting across from me, his arms crossed against his chest, his lower lip sticking so far out you could sit on it. So I be negotiating to be the pirate, and that's not going well, no not at all. SIGH.
Anyway, here's a drawing of O'Hare's costume, yes it is. Owl and all. It looks like a ghost, but It will be black with a meshy material over it to make it look like bark. Uh-huh. And an owl with LED eyes has been found in New Jersey somewhere, so::::BIG SIGH::::I guess me son will be a tree. I dunno.
R. Linda:
It be getting that time of year it be, where the wee ones are all jumping up and down over costumes for Halloween. They want them made by hand, they don't want the store-bought (and may I say the store-bought be a far cry from the stuff I had to choose from as a wee lad). But no, they want Dragon to get her magic going on the sewing machine and zip something up. Well, she offered she did, so Saturday when she rang us up and asked O'Hare what he wanted to be he had come up with something that she wasn't sure of. He was to speak to his Mam about such and get back to her, in the meantime she'd work on Guido's costume. And what did Guido want to be? Easy-peasy, he wants to be decked out as Don Corleone. Yup, he does. He saw parts of The Godfather, he wasn't supposed to but he did, and he even goes around with an orange slice over his teeth terrorising his brother. Then he takes the peel out and lowers his voice and says, "Ey O'Hare, Ima gonna make ya dis offah ya can't refuse," and then O'Hare screams and takes off with Guido behind him waving a toy gun and the orange peel. I tell ya, coming home from work to a relaxing house doesn't exist in my world, no the excitement begins just as I step in the door. SIGH. Then to make this worse, I was sitting on the couch watching CSI or NCIS or whatever and Guido came up and sat beside me with a devilish grin on his face and he looked up at me and said, "It wuz Barzini all-long." Yee-ah, the kid be creepy I tell ya.
SO for Guido, it's a mini tuxedo with spats and shiny shoes, and oh let us not forget Granny Dragon, "I needs me a Tommy-gun!" Good luck with that Granny D.
Anyway, I was all in wonder over what it was O'Hare wanted to be that gave his Grandmother pause. It didn't take long to find out. It was the next night at dinner Tonya and I were discussing Halloween trick-or-treat. It seems that every year the parents dress up for Halloween too, and they take the wee ones to the centre of town for trick or treating since it isn't allowed to go house to house for that. And well, to be quite honest none of the houses are close together here, you have to walk at least five acres if not a whole lot more to each house. We are a rural community, so to keep it safe everything is done in the centre of town. We all donate to the candy fund and each year the village buys the candy, they set up a hot dog and soda stand, and have one house that is decorated as a haunted house, and it is run from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. and it's just enough. So Tonya thinks we should join in and dress up too.
O'Hare said to me he wanted me to dress up because we would be partners. I was like, "Ok, so are you going to be a pirate? I'll get out me pirate costume," but before I could say any of that, he said. "Grandma's gonna make ya a costoom."
"UH-OH," I said taken aback I could just imagine what Granny Dragon would put me in, but being a sucker I asked what I was going as.
"Sum thin Granma says is outta character fer ya, yer gonna be Zorro!" And he made like he had a sword and sounded swish, swish, swish the mark of the Z in the air.
I sat there in mid-chew. How bizarro to be Zorro. Nah, I don't think so. So I said I had the pirate outfit and he shook his head no I needed to be Zorro!
"I wann ya ta be ZORRO!" He shouted like I was five rooms away.
"And what is it exactly YOU are going to be there sprout?" I asked amused.
"I wanna be a tree wit an owl in it. Wanda owlz eyez ta light up."
I sat there blinking trying to figure out what a tree had to do with me being Zorro and how exactly is that costume made? An owl with light-up eyes? I tell ya I have the mob boss and then I have this other kid that I don't who he is. Who in their right mind would say, "HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN? A tree with an owl in it. Yea!" Right there it smacks of some kind of brain damage. I had to look at me wife and I said, "Did we drop him on his head when he was a baby? Because I don't get this."
And Tonya sat there and giggled, yes she did. She thought it was funny. Well, I didn't. I be seriously concerned for the boyo. A tree with an owl in it. Oi! So after a while, both of us (Tonya and I) tried to talk O'Hare out of this. But no, he wants to be a tree. It's something he thought up and Tonya thinks I should be very pleased he's so creative, after all, said she, "No other kid will have a costume like his." No, I should think no one will.
But it did take my mind off what I'm supposed to dress up as. I was going merrily along not thinking of THAT at all, I was too busy trying to find other ideas for the eldest and arguing with a five-year-old is pretty pathetic. I was asked while I was running after O'Hare with a costume book, what me inseam measurement was, I said I didn't know what an inseam was, and then me shoulders were measured as I bent over the back of the couch flipping through kids' costumes with the young man seated below me, him saying, "Nope, nope, nope" to each page. I was oblivious, I was being measured for ZORRO. Oh my God. So now I was arguing I didn't want to get dressed up, then I was made to feel guilty about that by O'Hare sitting across from me, his arms crossed against his chest, his lower lip sticking so far out you could sit on it. So I be negotiating to be the pirate, and that's not going well, no not at all. SIGH.
Anyway, here's a drawing of O'Hare's costume, yes it is. Owl and all. It looks like a ghost, but It will be black with a meshy material over it to make it look like bark. Uh-huh. And an owl with LED eyes has been found in New Jersey somewhere, so::::BIG SIGH::::I guess me son will be a tree. I dunno.
O'Hare's Tree Costume with Owl
Gabe
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