02 July 2026
1179
R. Linda
After the sub shop parking faux pas, I got back feeling relieved not to be facing unknown strangers who were privately thinking I was a dummy for parking in a boat launch.
I said nothing about that incident, hoping I, meself, would forget the embarrassment and get on with having fun. Yes, fun or something akin to it. I was optimistic that nothing else could go wrong and that I was just knackered from the long drive, was all.
While I was gone, the family had settled in, and Tonya and O'Hare had spread a large blanket on the sand, and everyone was eagerly awaiting their subs. Mam took the bag of subs from me, and I got the drinks, and out we went to the family setting. I looked out toward the ocean, there they were sitting patiently with big smiles on their faces, as if to say, Da, you done good. Yeah, if only they knew.
Anyway, everyone was chatty and animated, just what I had hoped for. A happy family, enjoying each other's company and their surroundings. The ocean breeze was slightly strong, blowing the sub wrappers about our sannies, but we were managing. At least they were managing, that is, until the uninvited arrived.
I was carefully unwrapping the perfect sub sannie, trying to keep the breeze from blowing sand on it, when I looked away for a second to answer Guido's question, "Did you get mustard or mayonnaise on this?" when a seagull swooped in and stole me whole sub. I sat there in stunned disbelief. What had just happened? I didn't have long to sit there and wonder, because everyone started shouting and waving their arms over their heads to scare off the flock of birds that suddenly descended on our happy little scene.
It was hell, I tell ya! Everyone ran for the house, subs and drinks in hand, while I scooped up the blanket and anything on it, then swiped with it at the attacking horde of glutonous birdies.
I saw the one with me sannie, fighting with another one for it. It was dropped in mid-flight and splatted all the delicious sannie ingredients down over the ground. What a waste of a perfectly good sannie went through me mind.
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| It was a frightening situation |
Me Mam shouted at me from the sanctuary of the porch, "They want dessert!"
As I fled, I noticed O'Hare taking photos of me fending off the horde and laughing his fool head off at me. With a family like this, is it any wonder I am the way I am? No help, just smart remarks and lots of pictures after the fact, which I can't live down.
Yes, as ever, Mam was not a big help. No, "Nome on quick, I'll hold the door for you," no, no. No help, just smart comments. SHE went inside as I trudged up the stairs, fending off a flock of 40 hungry gulls. No door was held open, no, I had to wrestle me way inside and slam the inner door, so I didn't have to hear them and their beating wings against the screen.
It was, I'd calculate, an hour later that it was safe to go outside. BUT as time went on, we knew not to take food with us, because as soon as one of us stepped out the door, we were unceremoniously set upon by the white-winged army.
So, lesson learned. What could happen after THAT? Well, I tell ya, once I get me composure back.
Gabe
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