197
R. Linda:
So there we were trapped by our own hands. The only thing between us and the Fat Farm Police was a wall of lettuce mache'. A very hard wall it was too. After a while we realised there was nothing to eat, not a single thing. There we were, ten in number and nota.
"I am so happy I could chew my fingers," said a woman dressed in an I LOVE CHOCIE tee. It was showing from under the button up blouse she had worn to hide it, but now after the exertion of lobbing lettuce mache' it was open and showing her true feelings.
We all sighed in unison at the thought.
The guy wearing the zip-up jacket unzipped to reveal a Che Guevara tee that read, "Chocolate Revolution" on the back and revealed a candy bar thrust upright in Che's clinched fist. The guy emulated his revolutionary hero by throwing his fist in the air and in accented English said, "Yah mon, up with CHOCIE!"
We all got brave, since the lettuce mache' had not only glued the door shut, but covered the windows so the Fat Farm patrol couldn't see in. I took off me Irish vest to revel me undershirt with the words CHOCIE in a circle on one side and a circle with a red slash through it with the initials FNN (Fat Farm Network) on the other side. I smiled proud of meself and strutted around like a rooster, "Oh yeah, oh yeah," I crowed.
Everyone took off a peice of outer clothing to reveal some chocie slogan and we laughed with glee at being so bold. Then you pulled a bandana out of your back pocket, it was dark brown like dark chocolate and the colour made the juices in our mouth run. You held it in front of you and with a flourish you unfurled it and there in big white letters was the single most beautiful word in the entire world, HERSHEY. Oh we all could have died from the sight of so lovely an image, Hershey bars, dark, white, or even milk chocie, we didn't care, the idea of it was just overwhelming.
Suddenly out of nowhere, the Weasil broke out in song, he sang, "Hershey's haz da very bestie . . . choc . . .o . . . late."
Everyone started singing except you! Your face was screwed up in a frown and you started waving at us to stop singing.
"It's NESTLES you dolts, not Hershey's," you corrected. "Hershey's goes like this, "choc, choc, chocolate, out of the cocoa pods come the food of the gods. Choc, choc, chocolate, chewy and gooey, sticky and sweet, choc, choc, chocolate. I like bars that rocket to mars, I gotta have a Hersehy kiss, you know I'd die for chocolate mud pie, sends me to heavenly bliss, EVERYONE SING, choc, choc, choc, choc, choc, chocolate . . . "
And we did sing until we couldn't get the song out of our chocieholic minds. We so over did it we sat down exhausted and our craving was even worse than before. Oh what to do now?
"I've got an idea," I said looking up at the ceiling. "Maybe we can lift someone up there," I pointed above, "and they can lift a ceiling panel, slide on in and make their way to a candy machine."
"Nuh, nope, nope, nopers," Weasil said shaking his head. "Once one a us iz outty a here duz ya think we will go find a candy machine, stockie up an cum backie here all loadied up? Nah, cuz who evah it iz will be eatin on da sweetie stuffins an by da timie dey gits backie dere will be none leftie."
He had a point. We were so crazed for the sweet stuff, that idea wouldn't work, but we could all get up through the vents in the ceiling and crawl out, I offered. Me eyes were bright with the brilliant idea I was sure everyone would be amazed at.
"Uh Gabriel," you said, "how would you get the last person up there?" You pointed to the ceiling to emphasize your point.
I looked around for a rope and knew there was nothing. Then I looked to see if everyone was wearing a belt because then we could link them together, but no, no one was wearing a belt but the two skinny people, me and Weasil, the only two skinny guys in the room with the fast metabolisms.
Everyone else either had pinned their waistbands or had elastic holding up their pants, except you. You had on those baggie things that were hanging low on the hipperoos because of the concealed fudge bar stash. I was looking at your knees closely and yes, I detected an oblong bulge in both knees.
"Ah ha!" I blurted out and your eyes bugged out at me in realization I might be about to blow your stash to chewy bite size bits!
End of part 5
Copyright © 2007 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So there we were trapped by our own hands. The only thing between us and the Fat Farm Police was a wall of lettuce mache'. A very hard wall it was too. After a while we realised there was nothing to eat, not a single thing. There we were, ten in number and nota.
"I am so happy I could chew my fingers," said a woman dressed in an I LOVE CHOCIE tee. It was showing from under the button up blouse she had worn to hide it, but now after the exertion of lobbing lettuce mache' it was open and showing her true feelings.
We all sighed in unison at the thought.
The guy wearing the zip-up jacket unzipped to reveal a Che Guevara tee that read, "Chocolate Revolution" on the back and revealed a candy bar thrust upright in Che's clinched fist. The guy emulated his revolutionary hero by throwing his fist in the air and in accented English said, "Yah mon, up with CHOCIE!"
We all got brave, since the lettuce mache' had not only glued the door shut, but covered the windows so the Fat Farm patrol couldn't see in. I took off me Irish vest to revel me undershirt with the words CHOCIE in a circle on one side and a circle with a red slash through it with the initials FNN (Fat Farm Network) on the other side. I smiled proud of meself and strutted around like a rooster, "Oh yeah, oh yeah," I crowed.
Everyone took off a peice of outer clothing to reveal some chocie slogan and we laughed with glee at being so bold. Then you pulled a bandana out of your back pocket, it was dark brown like dark chocolate and the colour made the juices in our mouth run. You held it in front of you and with a flourish you unfurled it and there in big white letters was the single most beautiful word in the entire world, HERSHEY. Oh we all could have died from the sight of so lovely an image, Hershey bars, dark, white, or even milk chocie, we didn't care, the idea of it was just overwhelming.
Suddenly out of nowhere, the Weasil broke out in song, he sang, "Hershey's haz da very bestie . . . choc . . .o . . . late."
Everyone started singing except you! Your face was screwed up in a frown and you started waving at us to stop singing.
"It's NESTLES you dolts, not Hershey's," you corrected. "Hershey's goes like this, "choc, choc, chocolate, out of the cocoa pods come the food of the gods. Choc, choc, chocolate, chewy and gooey, sticky and sweet, choc, choc, chocolate. I like bars that rocket to mars, I gotta have a Hersehy kiss, you know I'd die for chocolate mud pie, sends me to heavenly bliss, EVERYONE SING, choc, choc, choc, choc, choc, chocolate . . . "
And we did sing until we couldn't get the song out of our chocieholic minds. We so over did it we sat down exhausted and our craving was even worse than before. Oh what to do now?
"I've got an idea," I said looking up at the ceiling. "Maybe we can lift someone up there," I pointed above, "and they can lift a ceiling panel, slide on in and make their way to a candy machine."
"Nuh, nope, nope, nopers," Weasil said shaking his head. "Once one a us iz outty a here duz ya think we will go find a candy machine, stockie up an cum backie here all loadied up? Nah, cuz who evah it iz will be eatin on da sweetie stuffins an by da timie dey gits backie dere will be none leftie."
He had a point. We were so crazed for the sweet stuff, that idea wouldn't work, but we could all get up through the vents in the ceiling and crawl out, I offered. Me eyes were bright with the brilliant idea I was sure everyone would be amazed at.
"Uh Gabriel," you said, "how would you get the last person up there?" You pointed to the ceiling to emphasize your point.
I looked around for a rope and knew there was nothing. Then I looked to see if everyone was wearing a belt because then we could link them together, but no, no one was wearing a belt but the two skinny people, me and Weasil, the only two skinny guys in the room with the fast metabolisms.
Everyone else either had pinned their waistbands or had elastic holding up their pants, except you. You had on those baggie things that were hanging low on the hipperoos because of the concealed fudge bar stash. I was looking at your knees closely and yes, I detected an oblong bulge in both knees.
"Ah ha!" I blurted out and your eyes bugged out at me in realization I might be about to blow your stash to chewy bite size bits!
End of part 5
Copyright © 2007 All rights reserved
