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R. Linda:
Where we we? Oh that's right paddling madly up the river (not an easy task I can tell ya that much).
The evil princess started clapping she was saved and hopping up and down on the jagged rock, but Tink was chewing her gum like it was going out of style as she squinted her eyes to see what the hell was coming at her.
"SHARK!" She yelled, "Shark, shark, sharkkk!!!"
"WHERE?" The evil princess stopped hopping and clapping and whirled around looking in all directions (especially behind her), to see where the shark was.
Meanwhile, Weasil who was aft in the raft knew right off that Tink thought he and the handsome prince were the giant shark. He mumbled to himself as he shook his head in consternation, "Dat girlie realee needies her a pare a specs on her facie cuz she cant see nuthin'."
The handsome prince's face was all screwed up as he looked around, his heart almost beating out of his chest that a shark was in the water, and it would probably bite the raft, make it deflate, throwing him in the water to be eaten. Never mind Weasil, our handsome prince was all about himself. Besides he thought Weasil had said, "Done early reeling in a pair of sharks on our fancy caution sea huffing." For a moment there the handsome prince knew he heard Weasil say the word 'sharks' and reeling them earlier, but what did "fancy caution sea huffing" mean? He stopped slapping the water and sat there repeating the sentence over in his head trying to make sense of it.
While the Weasil hauled arse (excuse the expression), and the handsome prince sat on his arse trying to make sense of what Weasil had said, the raft slowly whirled in the eddies as the Weasil struggled in vein to get it to the rock. The handsome prince gave up on the sentence and was looking for the shark or in this case, sharks, slapping the water with his paddle and this was no help.
As the raft slowly moved in the direction of our heroines, Tink decided to swim for it and off she took against the current away from the oncoming life saving raft that she just knew was a shark. The evil princess had crossed her legs and arms to imitate a stick so the shark would pass her by.
The Weasil noticed all this, but the handsome prince was too busy slapping the water to realise he wasn't helping matters. His slapping at the water had convinced the now petrified evil princess that there were lots of sharks in the river, until . . . she realised, that Tink was blind and deaf so how would she know there was a shark in the water. Slowly relaxing her body she turned in the direction of the swimming for all she was worth Tink (in this case worth is an exaggerated term because we all know Tink wasn't worth a farthing or even as Mr. Weasil later corrected, a fartie).
"TINK, THE SHARK IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" The evil princess yelled as loud as she could and then did a strange thing, she started laughing, laughing so hard she fell backwards but not into the whirling water where the eddies would certainly take her to the . . . lets hear it real loud so even Tink can hear us . . . THE BIG WATERFALL! No, she had the luck to fall backward into the raft where upon impact the raft jumped up, water rushed in and the Weasil found himself bailing for all he was worth (in this case he was worth his weight in shark blubber because if he didn't bail out hero and one remaining heroine, all would be lost).
This sent the handsome prince to babbling about sharks until the evil princess gave him a slap to "Snap out of it," and he realised he was safe, she was safe, the court jester was safe (and this was a good thing, because Weasil was the designated paddler for home).
As for Tink there are sightings of her heard every so often. At night if you are down by the Roaring River (which is quiet at night for some strange reason), and the moon if full and you are very, very, quiet you can hear if you listen, the distant shouting of SHARK! SHARK, SHARK, SHARK, SHARKKKKKKK . . ."
Meanwhile back at the castle, the handsome prince and the evil princess lived happily ever after, while across the river in the shed with the deck, the court jester sips on his umbrella drink regaling the tourists with his interpretation of Carnage on the River. The regaling speech is never the same and open to interpretation, your own. Yes, it is a sad fact of life that no one knows what the Weasil is expounding, but his acting it all out and playing all the roles is rather fun to watch.
The End (for real this time)
Gabe
Copyright © 2005 Gabriel O'Sullivan All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Where we we? Oh that's right paddling madly up the river (not an easy task I can tell ya that much).
The evil princess started clapping she was saved and hopping up and down on the jagged rock, but Tink was chewing her gum like it was going out of style as she squinted her eyes to see what the hell was coming at her.
"SHARK!" She yelled, "Shark, shark, sharkkk!!!"
"WHERE?" The evil princess stopped hopping and clapping and whirled around looking in all directions (especially behind her), to see where the shark was.
Meanwhile, Weasil who was aft in the raft knew right off that Tink thought he and the handsome prince were the giant shark. He mumbled to himself as he shook his head in consternation, "Dat girlie realee needies her a pare a specs on her facie cuz she cant see nuthin'."
The handsome prince's face was all screwed up as he looked around, his heart almost beating out of his chest that a shark was in the water, and it would probably bite the raft, make it deflate, throwing him in the water to be eaten. Never mind Weasil, our handsome prince was all about himself. Besides he thought Weasil had said, "Done early reeling in a pair of sharks on our fancy caution sea huffing." For a moment there the handsome prince knew he heard Weasil say the word 'sharks' and reeling them earlier, but what did "fancy caution sea huffing" mean? He stopped slapping the water and sat there repeating the sentence over in his head trying to make sense of it.
While the Weasil hauled arse (excuse the expression), and the handsome prince sat on his arse trying to make sense of what Weasil had said, the raft slowly whirled in the eddies as the Weasil struggled in vein to get it to the rock. The handsome prince gave up on the sentence and was looking for the shark or in this case, sharks, slapping the water with his paddle and this was no help.
As the raft slowly moved in the direction of our heroines, Tink decided to swim for it and off she took against the current away from the oncoming life saving raft that she just knew was a shark. The evil princess had crossed her legs and arms to imitate a stick so the shark would pass her by.
The Weasil noticed all this, but the handsome prince was too busy slapping the water to realise he wasn't helping matters. His slapping at the water had convinced the now petrified evil princess that there were lots of sharks in the river, until . . . she realised, that Tink was blind and deaf so how would she know there was a shark in the water. Slowly relaxing her body she turned in the direction of the swimming for all she was worth Tink (in this case worth is an exaggerated term because we all know Tink wasn't worth a farthing or even as Mr. Weasil later corrected, a fartie).
"TINK, THE SHARK IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" The evil princess yelled as loud as she could and then did a strange thing, she started laughing, laughing so hard she fell backwards but not into the whirling water where the eddies would certainly take her to the . . . lets hear it real loud so even Tink can hear us . . . THE BIG WATERFALL! No, she had the luck to fall backward into the raft where upon impact the raft jumped up, water rushed in and the Weasil found himself bailing for all he was worth (in this case he was worth his weight in shark blubber because if he didn't bail out hero and one remaining heroine, all would be lost).
This sent the handsome prince to babbling about sharks until the evil princess gave him a slap to "Snap out of it," and he realised he was safe, she was safe, the court jester was safe (and this was a good thing, because Weasil was the designated paddler for home).
As for Tink there are sightings of her heard every so often. At night if you are down by the Roaring River (which is quiet at night for some strange reason), and the moon if full and you are very, very, quiet you can hear if you listen, the distant shouting of SHARK! SHARK, SHARK, SHARK, SHARKKKKKKK . . ."
Meanwhile back at the castle, the handsome prince and the evil princess lived happily ever after, while across the river in the shed with the deck, the court jester sips on his umbrella drink regaling the tourists with his interpretation of Carnage on the River. The regaling speech is never the same and open to interpretation, your own. Yes, it is a sad fact of life that no one knows what the Weasil is expounding, but his acting it all out and playing all the roles is rather fun to watch.
The End (for real this time)
Gabe
Copyright © 2005 Gabriel O'Sullivan All rights reserved
