Drink those cookies and make that limoncello!

26 December 2018
934

R. Linda:

SIGH.

What can I say? It has been a jam-packed holiday thus far. I be glad when things slow down. I have for the first time in me life experienced the stress of having to deal with (directly and indirectly) a relative who for reasons of his own, has blanketed the rest of us in a pall of gloom. You have your own cross to bear and we have shared our woes, so I be determined NOT to let this individual make the holidays less bright and suck the joy out of family and out of existence. Therefore, knowing what we both know, I shall attempt to give you the fun bits that have happened over a spotty period of holiday time, in the hope it makes you smile if just for a few moments.

Where to start? I know at the beginning, so I will go there. It all started with a bottle of THIS:

A gift from Ms. Jaio -- A bottle of limoncello 

Before Christmas, Ms. Jaio gifted me with an autographed bottle of Danny DeVito's limoncello, a lemon drink or cordial that be found in the old dusty Italian villages where old men sit together whiling away the afternoon sipping this liqueur. I had never heard of it, never tasted it, so I was clueless. I thanked her wondering what was the story she had DeVito autograph the bottle, but she had given Cruella the same and they got to hen chatting so I never did find out the story of how at least two autographed bottles got into the possession of one Ms. Jaio.

I took the bottle home, thinking it was wine at first until Tonya saw it and was all about the Danny DeVito story which I disappointed her by telling her I did not know the story YET. She knew what limoncello was, and how to pronounce it and so I decided there was no saving the bottle, I'd just open it and we'd try it. But I had come in with it just as the three kiddos were making Christmas cookies. They had made them to give to their teachers for school and were done, but there was cookie dough left over and Tonya talked me into helping her bake the rest up just for us. Well ok!

Once the kiddos were in bed I opened the bottle, got shot glasses as Tonya rolled the dough and we were all set for making Christmas cookies and sipping DeVito's liqueur. I took a sip and wow what a jolt! Talk about knocking one's socks off! Jayus, Mary and Joseph it was strong stuff. I was not wanting another, but Tonya had knocked hers back like a seasoned alcoholic which isn't the way you drink it! She poured herself another and freshened mine as I looked at her like she was crazy for slugging down that overly strong lemon-tasting alcohol.

After a few more shots or shooters as they now call the practise, Mam wandered into the kitchen to see what progress we were making with the cookies, but more what the silly laughter was about. Not to leave her taste buds out from being anaesthetised along with ours, I poured her one. She had never heard of this particular drink either, so it was interesting watching her take a sip of what looked like lemon juice her face puckered up like it was lemon juice, and she looked at me and said, "Oh my that be blooudy awful!" To which I poured her another to catch her up. I don't know how many shots I poured but it seemed like we never put a dent in the bottle. It was like it never went down, it filled magically back up the more we drank.

Well, the result of all this drowning (in me case) me sorrows were some very odd-looking cookies. Here be the boyos platter:

The kiddos made these

And here be what WE made:

Scary huh?

UH Not sure but I think this be Santy

Train or rabbit on its side -- can't tell which it be

Uhhh, Patrick from Sponge Bob?

No clue

You see the effect this particular bottle had on us including me Mam? Yes, the kiddos laughed at our platter the next morning. They didn't know why we were so inept, but they were very proud of their platters. When they left for school Mam was staring at our creations trying to reckon what they were supposed to be.

"I tink ya both should eat dose to git rid of da drunken evidence or ere's a taught, give em ta Sean, he'll not noow dey are . . . odd lukin'."

We have been stone sober ever since the cookie-making fiasco. All I can say be, thank you Danny DeVito for an entertaining cookie session.

And as Mam said to me that morning, "NOO MORE COOKIE MAKIN' FUR YA!"

I noticed she took the autographed bottle and it's on a shelf in her room. Hum, good memories or is me Mam got a limoncello crush on the diminutive Mr. DeVito?

Gabe
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