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R. Linda:
So, where were we? Oh, that be right, the re-education of Miss Lulu.
It does get better on the home front. The niece turned out to be preggers. Are we surprised? Yes, in that we don't know why it didn't happen sooner, considering . . . So the Aussie comes back to Iron Bridge unbeknownst to Mother. For her part, Mother is beside herself that her daughter is expecting. Little does she know that the daughter and the boyfriend want to leave England and go not to Oz this time but to the U.S. of A.
Brother gets another, yes, ANOTHER late-night desperate ring-up from Mother; she is at the police station. The niece, HIS niece, has been nicked by the coppers for driving without a license. The boyfriend (ex-hubby) is in the waiting room three sheets to the wind, and she is just discovering he's in the country. The niece has priors in the driving department, thus why she has no license. Who'd a thought it? She also owes lots of money in unpaid fines. The coppers won't release her until she's paid all the penalties. Picture it, if you please: a pregnant girl who is 85 lbs (I won't bore you with the UK stone system; pounds will do), soaking wet, with a tiny bit of a baby bump, handcuffed to the table. There are the police with their billy clubs and tasers, and there she is a big threat. I think not. This image adds to Mother's angst. Anyway the total in fines adds up to £1200 that mother doesn't have handy. Everything she inherited she has tied up in investments and venture capital, not easy to cash at a moment's notice. She has readily available about £300. Would brother wire her the rest? Oh, pretty please, with sugar on it?
While Lulu is awaiting the processing procedure, Mother goes out to the waiting room. The boyfriend (in his drunken stupor) informs her he would have bailed out the "wife", but they spent all their money on airline tickets to New York City.
I wish I was there to see this next because Mother lost it, and there was a lot of whoop arse going on by her on the person of the drunken boyfriend, sans ex-hubby. Brother gets another transatlantic call from his sister (again) that she is being held for assault and battery upon the person of the drunken boyfriend, ex-hubby. It doesn't get any better than this, does it? Now he is wiring money to get not only HIS niece, but Lulu's mother, HIS sister, out of the nick as well. What a family!
He said he would like to wash his hands of the bunch of them. No wonder he be going grey and getting that pronounced tick about his eyes. I for one, hope he does not wash his hands of them because I'd like nothing more than to continue to be amused at his family's follies. I can't pass up such craziness because it means me own family be quite sane after all.
And there it all is. Yup.
Gabe
Copyright © 2006 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So, where were we? Oh, that be right, the re-education of Miss Lulu.
It does get better on the home front. The niece turned out to be preggers. Are we surprised? Yes, in that we don't know why it didn't happen sooner, considering . . . So the Aussie comes back to Iron Bridge unbeknownst to Mother. For her part, Mother is beside herself that her daughter is expecting. Little does she know that the daughter and the boyfriend want to leave England and go not to Oz this time but to the U.S. of A.
Brother gets another, yes, ANOTHER late-night desperate ring-up from Mother; she is at the police station. The niece, HIS niece, has been nicked by the coppers for driving without a license. The boyfriend (ex-hubby) is in the waiting room three sheets to the wind, and she is just discovering he's in the country. The niece has priors in the driving department, thus why she has no license. Who'd a thought it? She also owes lots of money in unpaid fines. The coppers won't release her until she's paid all the penalties. Picture it, if you please: a pregnant girl who is 85 lbs (I won't bore you with the UK stone system; pounds will do), soaking wet, with a tiny bit of a baby bump, handcuffed to the table. There are the police with their billy clubs and tasers, and there she is a big threat. I think not. This image adds to Mother's angst. Anyway the total in fines adds up to £1200 that mother doesn't have handy. Everything she inherited she has tied up in investments and venture capital, not easy to cash at a moment's notice. She has readily available about £300. Would brother wire her the rest? Oh, pretty please, with sugar on it?
While Lulu is awaiting the processing procedure, Mother goes out to the waiting room. The boyfriend (in his drunken stupor) informs her he would have bailed out the "wife", but they spent all their money on airline tickets to New York City.
I wish I was there to see this next because Mother lost it, and there was a lot of whoop arse going on by her on the person of the drunken boyfriend, sans ex-hubby. Brother gets another transatlantic call from his sister (again) that she is being held for assault and battery upon the person of the drunken boyfriend, ex-hubby. It doesn't get any better than this, does it? Now he is wiring money to get not only HIS niece, but Lulu's mother, HIS sister, out of the nick as well. What a family!
He said he would like to wash his hands of the bunch of them. No wonder he be going grey and getting that pronounced tick about his eyes. I for one, hope he does not wash his hands of them because I'd like nothing more than to continue to be amused at his family's follies. I can't pass up such craziness because it means me own family be quite sane after all.
And there it all is. Yup.
Gabe
Copyright © 2006 All rights reserved
