30 January 2010
264
R. Linda:
I think it be the face like you say not me blog that people look at. Me cousin over in Erin told me that me face be on Google Images. The pirate one, so don't get excited, it isn't the one without a disguise. She said she showed it to me Mam who took one look and muttered, "Dear, oh dear, oh dear . . . " holding the side of her face like she had toothache. That in turn got the attention of me Da who took one look and scoffed that wasn't his son, no indeed. But on closer examination, well, yes, yes it is! I had to smile.
Not to be outdone, I decided to Google meself and yes there it was first one up. I had to laugh, which I did, and then I thought what if me work sees this? They will think I am not serious. I thought to quickly write a disclaimer that that picture was really old, like a college prank thing, but who'd believe it? I don't look that young in it I can pass it off as me at college age. That would make me look more the dolt for being in college when I was thirty not twenty. What to do?
Then I thought, hey I'll change me name to Gabriel Sullivan, but I be related to the Sullivans and I could start a clan war back home all on me own and not be there for the fallout. At first, I toyed with the idea, then I thought no, me sainted Mam would get herself on a plane and move over here with ME to leave me father to fend off the Sully clan, and we can't have that!
Me Mam has this thing she shares in common with the dragon-in-law, where the dragon calls things like 60 Minutes, 60 Seconds (because she really doesn't remember most of the programme content, just Andy Rooney and what does THAT say about her?) and me Mam changes dates around so when everyone else is celebrating Christmas, we aren't! Unless we are Greek Orthodox suddenly and no one told me of the change, we celebrate it after most of the world. So did I want that to be me way of life? No. I could just see me ringing up work, "I can't come into the office today, we be celebrating New Year's Eve. What's that? No, no I know it was two weeks ago, but me Mam is a little behind the times so we are celebrating it today! What do you mean if I don't get in there I have no job? It's New Year's Eve! I know it isn't really, but for us it is. What do you mean it isn't like a religious holiday I can just take the day off, it be New Year's Eve, sort of." And it would go until I be told I am fired.
I had to sit there for a good long time thinking how it would be for me parents to move here to get away from the rampaging hordes of the Sullivan clan. Here is an idea of what me life would be like.
First some background, these are people who took me sister and her son in when the Dolan person went off to war in Iraq. The son, one Daniel, was about 14 at the time and had gotten into punk wear (that mohawk with different colour hair spikes, ripped sleeveless black shirts with mini chains and obscene wording on the front and back, the skin-tight black jeans, and with a Weasil touch -- high topped sneakers), and to say Danny boy was different from the rest of us, well YEAH. But at that age, there was nothing to be done about his 'look'. So because his 'kind' was a minority at school he understood the taunts and jeers a classmate (a girl) was getting for looking like a geek. He befriended the geeky girl (because underneath the hardware our Danny has a soft heart) and he brought her home. Seems the geeky girl's Mam took off leaving her with her Da. But Da was out of work and couldn't support both of them so he was sending her off to another county to live with his Mam who the girl, one Sinead, never got along with. This caused the geek Sinead to run off, something totally out of character for her. She got into trouble for it, as you can well imagine and her Da was at his wit's end. So somehow she became me sister's 'adopted' daughter and Danny's girlfriend.
Me Mam wasn't happy about this at all, no not at all. She found the geeky girl did nothing to earn her keep because she was too busy playing video games with Danny. Well, as time went on Danny found he and Sinead were worlds apart in thinking, style, movies, and drat it, video games and how to play them! So it ended up Danny would stay out late to avoid coming home to (not us) but Sinead. Sinead was all about Dan the man's bad-boy image and was in love. Danny started living at his friend Jonny's house. Meantime, me sister decided the best way to refocus Sinead was to help get her off to college (did I mention Sinead was two years older than Dan the man?) that way she got her into a dorm and out of the house. Me sissy even found financial programmes to assist in this endeavour. Well, sissy's hard work paid off and so Sinead was off to a small college.
Me Mam thought this was wonderful and planned a going-away dinner party at the local Chinese fast food, take out, banquet place in town. Just the thought of that place makes me stomach do jumps and twists -- it does not want to go there and please, don't think of filling up on the greasy, contaminated food. I turn green at the thought. Now being me, I didn't think I had to go to this because, for one, Sinead hardly spoke two words to me the entire time she lived with us. I wasn't a blood relative, nor was she friendly to yours truly, nor me to her. SO WHY I would feel obligated to go was a mystery to me and I said as much. But no, me sister and Mam made me go with half the family that lived close by and a few Sullivans who lived locally had their arms twisted to go too!
But the one person missing from this fare thee well party was not Sinead's Da, he was actually there (hey it was free food for him), but the culprit that brought the plague called Sinead upon us in the first place, one Dan the man. How is it HE got out of this display of misplaced affection and ME and a few of me relatives (who never had laid eyes on Sinead), did not?
Another example of me family's dysfunctional side was a few years after that, me sissy gets this job where she was going off to Malaysia for three weeks to train company workers there. Normal people would say, "Sheila, good luck we'll see you in a few weeks!" But not me family. The usual suspects were rolled out for a Going Away Party in Case the Plane Comes Down and We Never See Her Again. Yup, it was. We each had to go out and buy some small token of good luck for her on her passage to either Malaysia or the afterlife, whichever came first. I was like WHO DOES THIS? Well, I should know better, me family does.
So this we did, and guess what? SHE MADE IT! Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, we were all so relieved. Sigh. But it doesn't end there, she got on the plane in Malaysia to fly back to Newry, Northern Ireland, and saints preserve the lot of us, she made that too! And, you guessed it, we were all rolled out again for a Welcome Home Party You Made It! And, we had to buy presents for that too. Do I want to live this way? NO, I DO NOT.
I be leaving that picture as it is. Maybe it's a good thing, I be not readily recognisable so perhaps no one will really know it be me unless they look past the hat, the moustache, and me rather nice-looking pirate coat. Sigh.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I think it be the face like you say not me blog that people look at. Me cousin over in Erin told me that me face be on Google Images. The pirate one, so don't get excited, it isn't the one without a disguise. She said she showed it to me Mam who took one look and muttered, "Dear, oh dear, oh dear . . . " holding the side of her face like she had toothache. That in turn got the attention of me Da who took one look and scoffed that wasn't his son, no indeed. But on closer examination, well, yes, yes it is! I had to smile.
Not to be outdone, I decided to Google meself and yes there it was first one up. I had to laugh, which I did, and then I thought what if me work sees this? They will think I am not serious. I thought to quickly write a disclaimer that that picture was really old, like a college prank thing, but who'd believe it? I don't look that young in it I can pass it off as me at college age. That would make me look more the dolt for being in college when I was thirty not twenty. What to do?
Then I thought, hey I'll change me name to Gabriel Sullivan, but I be related to the Sullivans and I could start a clan war back home all on me own and not be there for the fallout. At first, I toyed with the idea, then I thought no, me sainted Mam would get herself on a plane and move over here with ME to leave me father to fend off the Sully clan, and we can't have that!
Me Mam has this thing she shares in common with the dragon-in-law, where the dragon calls things like 60 Minutes, 60 Seconds (because she really doesn't remember most of the programme content, just Andy Rooney and what does THAT say about her?) and me Mam changes dates around so when everyone else is celebrating Christmas, we aren't! Unless we are Greek Orthodox suddenly and no one told me of the change, we celebrate it after most of the world. So did I want that to be me way of life? No. I could just see me ringing up work, "I can't come into the office today, we be celebrating New Year's Eve. What's that? No, no I know it was two weeks ago, but me Mam is a little behind the times so we are celebrating it today! What do you mean if I don't get in there I have no job? It's New Year's Eve! I know it isn't really, but for us it is. What do you mean it isn't like a religious holiday I can just take the day off, it be New Year's Eve, sort of." And it would go until I be told I am fired.
I had to sit there for a good long time thinking how it would be for me parents to move here to get away from the rampaging hordes of the Sullivan clan. Here is an idea of what me life would be like.
First some background, these are people who took me sister and her son in when the Dolan person went off to war in Iraq. The son, one Daniel, was about 14 at the time and had gotten into punk wear (that mohawk with different colour hair spikes, ripped sleeveless black shirts with mini chains and obscene wording on the front and back, the skin-tight black jeans, and with a Weasil touch -- high topped sneakers), and to say Danny boy was different from the rest of us, well YEAH. But at that age, there was nothing to be done about his 'look'. So because his 'kind' was a minority at school he understood the taunts and jeers a classmate (a girl) was getting for looking like a geek. He befriended the geeky girl (because underneath the hardware our Danny has a soft heart) and he brought her home. Seems the geeky girl's Mam took off leaving her with her Da. But Da was out of work and couldn't support both of them so he was sending her off to another county to live with his Mam who the girl, one Sinead, never got along with. This caused the geek Sinead to run off, something totally out of character for her. She got into trouble for it, as you can well imagine and her Da was at his wit's end. So somehow she became me sister's 'adopted' daughter and Danny's girlfriend.
Me Mam wasn't happy about this at all, no not at all. She found the geeky girl did nothing to earn her keep because she was too busy playing video games with Danny. Well, as time went on Danny found he and Sinead were worlds apart in thinking, style, movies, and drat it, video games and how to play them! So it ended up Danny would stay out late to avoid coming home to (not us) but Sinead. Sinead was all about Dan the man's bad-boy image and was in love. Danny started living at his friend Jonny's house. Meantime, me sister decided the best way to refocus Sinead was to help get her off to college (did I mention Sinead was two years older than Dan the man?) that way she got her into a dorm and out of the house. Me sissy even found financial programmes to assist in this endeavour. Well, sissy's hard work paid off and so Sinead was off to a small college.
Me Mam thought this was wonderful and planned a going-away dinner party at the local Chinese fast food, take out, banquet place in town. Just the thought of that place makes me stomach do jumps and twists -- it does not want to go there and please, don't think of filling up on the greasy, contaminated food. I turn green at the thought. Now being me, I didn't think I had to go to this because, for one, Sinead hardly spoke two words to me the entire time she lived with us. I wasn't a blood relative, nor was she friendly to yours truly, nor me to her. SO WHY I would feel obligated to go was a mystery to me and I said as much. But no, me sister and Mam made me go with half the family that lived close by and a few Sullivans who lived locally had their arms twisted to go too!
But the one person missing from this fare thee well party was not Sinead's Da, he was actually there (hey it was free food for him), but the culprit that brought the plague called Sinead upon us in the first place, one Dan the man. How is it HE got out of this display of misplaced affection and ME and a few of me relatives (who never had laid eyes on Sinead), did not?
Another example of me family's dysfunctional side was a few years after that, me sissy gets this job where she was going off to Malaysia for three weeks to train company workers there. Normal people would say, "Sheila, good luck we'll see you in a few weeks!" But not me family. The usual suspects were rolled out for a Going Away Party in Case the Plane Comes Down and We Never See Her Again. Yup, it was. We each had to go out and buy some small token of good luck for her on her passage to either Malaysia or the afterlife, whichever came first. I was like WHO DOES THIS? Well, I should know better, me family does.
So this we did, and guess what? SHE MADE IT! Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, we were all so relieved. Sigh. But it doesn't end there, she got on the plane in Malaysia to fly back to Newry, Northern Ireland, and saints preserve the lot of us, she made that too! And, you guessed it, we were all rolled out again for a Welcome Home Party You Made It! And, we had to buy presents for that too. Do I want to live this way? NO, I DO NOT.
I be leaving that picture as it is. Maybe it's a good thing, I be not readily recognisable so perhaps no one will really know it be me unless they look past the hat, the moustache, and me rather nice-looking pirate coat. Sigh.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
