01 July 2026
1178
R. Linda:
"Bring it on!" That's what I said to the TV weather guy. I was watching the weather while packing me bags for a holiday at the seaside. The weather guy was bemoaning how millions of people were going to suffer in 100-degree and possibly higher temperatures for the next few days. I smiled at him, even though he didn't know that, and said to meself, "But not I."
Yes, smug I was. I was thinking of the cool, moist breeze one gets standing next to the ocean. How cool it is and sometimes downright chilly, so no sweltering for this guy, oh no. For old Gabe, it was going to be absolute enjoyment and a brilliant time away. Much needed, I might add.
I had rented an Airbnb right on the beach. That meant no finding a parking space, no lugging beach things, no walking over hot pavement, just the pure joy of walking out one's door right to the sand, with no one to step over, the beach all to ourselves.
The kiddos were ecstatic. They were looking forward to the arcades on the strip, the lobster rolls, and the new friends they might make. For the three old people, Tonya was particularly looking forward to reading a good book, lying out in the sun, and enjoying the peaceful sound of the waves hitting the shore. As for me Mam, she was looking forward to eating out, relaxing on the porch and thinking about nothing. For me, it was digging me toes in the wet sand, lazing around with an Arnold Palmer, and being free of Dragons, Weasils, and the like.
We left the woodsy abode in New Hampshire for the sandy shores of Cape Cod. It was a long drive, made longer by an unbelievable traffic crawl over the Sagamore Bridge and onto the Cape. Once in Bourne, it was a drive west to West Dennis Beach, where our lovely and I mean lovely rental awaited us. 4 bedrooms with 3 bathrooms, that should be perfect with 3 boyos, the bathrooms I mean. We had a pullout bed in the living room, and the wee one got that, and for some reason, he didn't protest. I found out later because he was up all night with headphones, playing video games on the TV in the living room. I started to wonder why he looked like a raccoon every morning. He wasn't sleeping!
We got there mid-afternoon, and once we dropped our luggage and looked around the house, we decided to go out for a late lunch. It was such a beautiful day that I suggested that I go get subs and we have a picnic on the beach. Splendid idea, they all thought, so I took orders while Tonya looked up the nearest sub place, and then I went off while everyone else unpacked.
I found the sub shop, but because it was a lovely day, everyone and their mother was about the place. I circled for twenty minutes before finally finding what looked like the perfect parking spot. I backed in and was marvelling I didn't see the parking place the first circle, or the second for that matter, so I was in me thoughts, and it was a moment before I realised everyone was staring at me. I looked around and saw I had parked in a boat ramp. Before I could move it, a man crossing the road next to me smiled and said, "Planning to launch that Saturn?"
"Well," I said, "that's one way of looking at it." But I turned around, got me vehicle out of the space, and spent another twenty minutes circling until the same man who had asked me about launching my Saturn waved for me to follow him. He had a bag of subs and was leaving, so I slowly crept behind him like a stalker.
He got in his vehicle, moved out and waved me in. I parked and sat there for a few minutes, hoping no one at the open-air sub place would recognise the jackarse who parked in the boat launch.
Yup, that was the beginning of me holiday away from the silliness that seems to find me. I should have known it wasn't going to get better, but worse.
Gabe
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