20 June 2011
420
R. Linda:
For Father's Day, I didn't want cake, being a real man I wanted pie. Tonya and I go through this every year on Father's Day AND my birthday. I like apple pie but I be told we get a lot of that around Thanksgiving. So no apple pie. I like cherry pie, but that's for the 4th of July. I counter I don't celebrate the 4th of July I am British. Doesn't matter. How about pecan pie, no we have that at Christmastime, so no. Banana cream then, no that's a summertime favourite, try something else. I was fast running out of pies. Okay, lemon meringue, no because it makes her brother sick, but your brother isn't coming so??? Okay then, key lime, nah too much like lemon meringue. The result: I be pie-less!
So because I was being "difficult" (her word not mine) we went to the Mile High Apple Pie Store way down in Merrimack. I get in there and it is a store I never want to leave. Pies from floor to ceiling, on conveyor belts, in window counters, on top of counters, PIES I TELL YA all over the place all being freshly made. I was in pie-hole heaven. All I could say through me pie-hole was PIE, THEY'VE GOT PIE!
Okay, I peruse the pie shelves and the girl behind the counter is like -- will this guy ever make up his mind? Well, I decided on Derby Pie. Wife says "The Kentucky Derby was over weeks ago." Yeah, but we didn't watch it, so . . . SO DERBY PIE it was.
Now I'd never had a Derby Pie before, but I heard they have bourbon in them, so what's not to like, huh? Yup, so we bought one of those and because I gave the sad face, Tonya caved and bought a cherry. We stopped at the grocery store and got a can of whipped cream and Breyer's vanilla bean ice cream. YUM.
The kiddos were at a friend's house and it was a rainy day, so WE decided the cherry pie would be for Father's Day, but the Derby Pie was for NOW.
This pie has chocolate in it as well as bourbon and pecans. It is totally yummy. I smothered it with whipped cream and then took a bite. OH MY GOD! I felt like I should have put it in a shot glass not on a plate.
"Kids definitely don't get any of THIS," Tonya said, waving her fork around in pie bliss.
"No, it's too good to share," said I.
"No Gabe, it's got too much bourbon in it."
"Yum, that too," I mumbled with me mouth full of the most delicious pie ever. "Ya think if we eat the whole thing we could get drunk on pie?"
She narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head.
Later when Tonya wasn't looking I had another piece topped with ice cream. Just as delicious. Before bed, I tried it with nothing extra, straight up -- wonderful.
This was Friday, by Saturday pie was gone!
Sunday I woke up to the clank of cereal bowl and spoon next to me head, and the sound of Cheerios hitting the bowl, then the slop of milk on top of the Cheerios and the voice of O'Hare, telling me Happy Da Day!
I raised up on an elbow and noticed Tonya still in bed, one eye open looking in the direction of the voice. I knew she didn't put O'Hare up to this, so was sweet he did it on his own, well sort of on his own, he had enlisted Guido's help, oi. I took the bowl from Guido who was acting as servant to his older brother holding onto the bowl which he had tipped a wee bit so milk sloshed on the floor. No sooner did I have the bowl, I saved the milk from crashing to the floor when O'Hare found it rather too heavy to lift to the nightstand. He took the cereal box and proceeded to put more Cheerios in the bowl because he didn't think I had enough "fer a heartily brekfit."
The result was that I was awash in Cheerios. Tonya was laughing, but she got up and started helping get the excess cleaned up as Guido helped too, only he was eating it as he went. I did act surprised (I was) and I did tell them both how thoughtful they were and how wonderful for thinking of me and getting up at what time was it? Oh yeah the crack of dawn, 4 a.m. for breakfast.
Me wife was in gales of laughter as she went out to the kitchen with what was left of a new box of Cheerios, and the milk, to brew some coffee.
"Oh wait dunt eat on it yet," O'Hare said and he ran out leaving me to wonder, is it poison? He came tearing back with a carton of "boo berries" that hadn't been washed or hulled and he proceeded to dump them on top of the overflowing Cheerios. I was sure that I would be sleeping in crunchy Cheerios for the next week.
Well, we all had an early rising and I finished off the Cheerios and could smell eggs and bacon along with the coffee. I made my way with an empty bowl to see the boyos enjoying THEIR eggs and bacon with toast. There I stood with an empty bowl. What was wrong with that picture I ask you?
"Oh, do you have room for an egg and some bacon?" Tonya crooned at me.
"Well . . . " Even if I didn't I was having me some of that.
So around noon, we were all famished since the 4:00 a.m. breakfast. We were going to eat around two but moved it way up. I was told to go sit on the porch, and that I would be served a wonderful lunch courtesy of my eldest's culinary skills. UH OH. So with trepidation, I took meself out, had a Newcastle Brown Ale to brace meself for what might be coming and awaited the biggest meat sandwich I had ever seen in my life. It was so big, that I couldn't open me gob wide enough to take a bite. This, was O'Hare called it -- like a Daggywood. He'd give it a proper name when he thought of it. Oi. This sannie consisted of grape jelly on one side of the roll, spicy horseradish mustard on the other side, and in between the meat was another slice of bread that had mayo on one side and strawberry jam on the other. The rest consisted of salami, baloney, turkey breast, roast beef, honey ham, provolone cheese, sardines, capers (which bounced out everywhere trying to escape), Swiss cheese, lettuce and tomato with a toasted anchovy on top. But the surprise ingredient was the sliced kiwi dispersed all through the sannie. I know what you're thinking, OH YUM. NOT. And the condiments were just oozing over the drippy sides, especially the jam and jelly and the kiwi was weeping. Messy? I'll let you imagine it for yourself.
Can I ask you this? Have you ever had jelly with mustard? It's a . . . strange taste combination . . . borders on torture to eat it, but you'd think the capers and anchovy would cut that somewhat, but no, those along with the sardines make for a fishy, oily kinda taste when combined with all that meat, watery kiwi, mayonnaise and cheese. It is enough to make you wanna ask where's the ketchup? But don't do that. I did in jest and found the sannie covered in the red stuff. Talk about adding a new flavour to the rest, oh yeah, it did and not for the better either. Yes, sigh.
I noticed that when the rest of them came out they had sannies of considerably smaller size than my own. Tonya had ham and Swiss on rye, Guido had his usual PB&J and Mr. Adventure himself was eating his usual, peanut butter with greasy drippy bacon. Yup.
"So O'Hare, you call this a Dagwood do ya?" I said trying to put off eating it.
"You're so sillwee daddy, it's a muscle sandwich." He laughed like a loon.
"Oh, I thought it was a Dagwood, okay a muscle sandwich," I said and was thinking it certainly would build muscles in your lower face to be able to eat it.
"Come on Gabe, take another big bite and build those muscles. Got lots of gardening you need to build up for," Tonya sneered.
O'Hare ran in for an apple juice refill allowing me to ask Tonya if I really, really had to eat that muscle sannie.
"It's horrible Ton, it's a poison sannie," I said as she started laughing. "I'll be sick for a week. Who puts sardines on baloney? Forget the rest."
"Put on a brave face Gabe and give it a bite." She said thoroughly enjoying her sannie.
"I won't be able to get up I eat this thing, OR probably walk!"
She just laughed and the boyo was back.
Well, I bit the bullet and ate it. I made it like it was the best sannie ever and now I can't stop burping. It's horrible. And the worst of it is the anchovy and sardines are repeating like crazy. The good news is I wasn't hungry for dinner, I haven't been hungry all today and I probably won't be hungry for another week! I am giving becoming a vegetarian serious consideration.
YUP, I am.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
For Father's Day, I didn't want cake, being a real man I wanted pie. Tonya and I go through this every year on Father's Day AND my birthday. I like apple pie but I be told we get a lot of that around Thanksgiving. So no apple pie. I like cherry pie, but that's for the 4th of July. I counter I don't celebrate the 4th of July I am British. Doesn't matter. How about pecan pie, no we have that at Christmastime, so no. Banana cream then, no that's a summertime favourite, try something else. I was fast running out of pies. Okay, lemon meringue, no because it makes her brother sick, but your brother isn't coming so??? Okay then, key lime, nah too much like lemon meringue. The result: I be pie-less!
So because I was being "difficult" (her word not mine) we went to the Mile High Apple Pie Store way down in Merrimack. I get in there and it is a store I never want to leave. Pies from floor to ceiling, on conveyor belts, in window counters, on top of counters, PIES I TELL YA all over the place all being freshly made. I was in pie-hole heaven. All I could say through me pie-hole was PIE, THEY'VE GOT PIE!
Okay, I peruse the pie shelves and the girl behind the counter is like -- will this guy ever make up his mind? Well, I decided on Derby Pie. Wife says "The Kentucky Derby was over weeks ago." Yeah, but we didn't watch it, so . . . SO DERBY PIE it was.
Now I'd never had a Derby Pie before, but I heard they have bourbon in them, so what's not to like, huh? Yup, so we bought one of those and because I gave the sad face, Tonya caved and bought a cherry. We stopped at the grocery store and got a can of whipped cream and Breyer's vanilla bean ice cream. YUM.
The kiddos were at a friend's house and it was a rainy day, so WE decided the cherry pie would be for Father's Day, but the Derby Pie was for NOW.
This pie has chocolate in it as well as bourbon and pecans. It is totally yummy. I smothered it with whipped cream and then took a bite. OH MY GOD! I felt like I should have put it in a shot glass not on a plate.
"Kids definitely don't get any of THIS," Tonya said, waving her fork around in pie bliss.
"No, it's too good to share," said I.
"No Gabe, it's got too much bourbon in it."
"Yum, that too," I mumbled with me mouth full of the most delicious pie ever. "Ya think if we eat the whole thing we could get drunk on pie?"
She narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head.
Later when Tonya wasn't looking I had another piece topped with ice cream. Just as delicious. Before bed, I tried it with nothing extra, straight up -- wonderful.
This was Friday, by Saturday pie was gone!
Sunday I woke up to the clank of cereal bowl and spoon next to me head, and the sound of Cheerios hitting the bowl, then the slop of milk on top of the Cheerios and the voice of O'Hare, telling me Happy Da Day!
I raised up on an elbow and noticed Tonya still in bed, one eye open looking in the direction of the voice. I knew she didn't put O'Hare up to this, so was sweet he did it on his own, well sort of on his own, he had enlisted Guido's help, oi. I took the bowl from Guido who was acting as servant to his older brother holding onto the bowl which he had tipped a wee bit so milk sloshed on the floor. No sooner did I have the bowl, I saved the milk from crashing to the floor when O'Hare found it rather too heavy to lift to the nightstand. He took the cereal box and proceeded to put more Cheerios in the bowl because he didn't think I had enough "fer a heartily brekfit."
The result was that I was awash in Cheerios. Tonya was laughing, but she got up and started helping get the excess cleaned up as Guido helped too, only he was eating it as he went. I did act surprised (I was) and I did tell them both how thoughtful they were and how wonderful for thinking of me and getting up at what time was it? Oh yeah the crack of dawn, 4 a.m. for breakfast.
Me wife was in gales of laughter as she went out to the kitchen with what was left of a new box of Cheerios, and the milk, to brew some coffee.
"Oh wait dunt eat on it yet," O'Hare said and he ran out leaving me to wonder, is it poison? He came tearing back with a carton of "boo berries" that hadn't been washed or hulled and he proceeded to dump them on top of the overflowing Cheerios. I was sure that I would be sleeping in crunchy Cheerios for the next week.
Well, we all had an early rising and I finished off the Cheerios and could smell eggs and bacon along with the coffee. I made my way with an empty bowl to see the boyos enjoying THEIR eggs and bacon with toast. There I stood with an empty bowl. What was wrong with that picture I ask you?
"Oh, do you have room for an egg and some bacon?" Tonya crooned at me.
"Well . . . " Even if I didn't I was having me some of that.
So around noon, we were all famished since the 4:00 a.m. breakfast. We were going to eat around two but moved it way up. I was told to go sit on the porch, and that I would be served a wonderful lunch courtesy of my eldest's culinary skills. UH OH. So with trepidation, I took meself out, had a Newcastle Brown Ale to brace meself for what might be coming and awaited the biggest meat sandwich I had ever seen in my life. It was so big, that I couldn't open me gob wide enough to take a bite. This, was O'Hare called it -- like a Daggywood. He'd give it a proper name when he thought of it. Oi. This sannie consisted of grape jelly on one side of the roll, spicy horseradish mustard on the other side, and in between the meat was another slice of bread that had mayo on one side and strawberry jam on the other. The rest consisted of salami, baloney, turkey breast, roast beef, honey ham, provolone cheese, sardines, capers (which bounced out everywhere trying to escape), Swiss cheese, lettuce and tomato with a toasted anchovy on top. But the surprise ingredient was the sliced kiwi dispersed all through the sannie. I know what you're thinking, OH YUM. NOT. And the condiments were just oozing over the drippy sides, especially the jam and jelly and the kiwi was weeping. Messy? I'll let you imagine it for yourself.
Can I ask you this? Have you ever had jelly with mustard? It's a . . . strange taste combination . . . borders on torture to eat it, but you'd think the capers and anchovy would cut that somewhat, but no, those along with the sardines make for a fishy, oily kinda taste when combined with all that meat, watery kiwi, mayonnaise and cheese. It is enough to make you wanna ask where's the ketchup? But don't do that. I did in jest and found the sannie covered in the red stuff. Talk about adding a new flavour to the rest, oh yeah, it did and not for the better either. Yes, sigh.
I noticed that when the rest of them came out they had sannies of considerably smaller size than my own. Tonya had ham and Swiss on rye, Guido had his usual PB&J and Mr. Adventure himself was eating his usual, peanut butter with greasy drippy bacon. Yup.
"So O'Hare, you call this a Dagwood do ya?" I said trying to put off eating it.
"You're so sillwee daddy, it's a muscle sandwich." He laughed like a loon.
"Oh, I thought it was a Dagwood, okay a muscle sandwich," I said and was thinking it certainly would build muscles in your lower face to be able to eat it.
"Come on Gabe, take another big bite and build those muscles. Got lots of gardening you need to build up for," Tonya sneered.
O'Hare ran in for an apple juice refill allowing me to ask Tonya if I really, really had to eat that muscle sannie.
"It's horrible Ton, it's a poison sannie," I said as she started laughing. "I'll be sick for a week. Who puts sardines on baloney? Forget the rest."
"Put on a brave face Gabe and give it a bite." She said thoroughly enjoying her sannie.
"I won't be able to get up I eat this thing, OR probably walk!"
She just laughed and the boyo was back.
Well, I bit the bullet and ate it. I made it like it was the best sannie ever and now I can't stop burping. It's horrible. And the worst of it is the anchovy and sardines are repeating like crazy. The good news is I wasn't hungry for dinner, I haven't been hungry all today and I probably won't be hungry for another week! I am giving becoming a vegetarian serious consideration.
YUP, I am.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
