What Is Happening At Me Abode?

27 May 2026

1162

R. Linda:

I get a phone call from Tonya, that O'Hare is upset and off the wall, so to speak, over his car. Seems he took it to an auto place for an alignment, and the mechanic informed him he needed $600 worth of work and no alignment until he got new tyres. He had got new tyres, and that's why he was there for the alignment, so what the heck?

She and he got into an arggy over this. I don't know what was said or how, but suffice it to say they were yelling at each other, and she wanted me to know he was headed me way and to be ready. 

Now, let me preface this by saying that the two of them are two peas in a pod. You can be having a calm conversation with one or the other, and suddenly, they are upset with YOU. Over, nothing you know you did, but you are accused of either raising your voice or belittling them. Usually, in the first case, I raise me voice to be heard because one or the other of them has started yelling. In the second case, if I make a joke, it is taken as sarcasm and belittlement. Therefore, I be damned if I do, and damned if I don't. Because if I don't raise me voice, I am accused of not caring and wanting to end the conversation. If I don't quip about something they said, then I am disinterested. I tell ya, I can't win.

So there I was, just off the phone when the driveway alert went off, and I knew O'Hare had arrived. I had been thinking I had time to brace meself, that he had 30 more minutes of driving time before he reached me. In that time, I was about to pour meself a stiff whiskey or two, or three and mellow meself out before the storm descended upon moi.

But in came Guido, fresh from work, and informed me that his friend was coming over and that they would be going for fishing licenses and then fishing.

"Don't fall in the river," I quipped, "water be 40 degrees, though the air is warm."

It was a minute later that O'Hare came waltzing in. I tensed thinking here we go, but notta. He was fine; he told me he had quite the experience at the car place and started to tell me about it calmly, I might add. I commiserated with him and shared an experience I had that was nearly the same, and said all these businesses were hurting, so yes, they will find things wrong to make some money, and all was right with the O'Hare. 

UNTIL

His brother had come downstairs to wait for his friend. He was haunting the front hallway, and we were in the back, but he could see us and we him, worse, he could hear what we were talking about. Now, let me say this: Guido prides himself on his mechanical prowess and started telling his brother how mechanically stupid he was, etc. As you can guess, this started an argybargy to end all argybargys.

Things would have been okay if Guido had minded his own business and not offered an opinion on how dumb O'Hare was about car maintenance. I broke the argy up by sending Guido upstairs and had managed to calm O'Hare's fiery temper. The friend arrived just then, and I sent him up to calm the other one down. O'Hare decided to go to his room to get something he had made on his 3D printer, which he wanted to show me.

I had thoughts I would be a full-fledged alcoholic by day's end if this kept up. 

Guido and his friend came down to tell me they were leaving. A good thing. They leave, and O'Hare comes down with a double light sabre. He made the handles on his 3D printer, cut a long pool noodle in two, and voilà, long arse light sabre. The dog thought long chew toy and came in trying to grab the pool noodle, and O'Hare ended up gently batting the dog, which just made the dog want it more, and the barking was ear-piercing. I told him to stop, and he informed me, after using it to swat at me, that he was going upstairs to beat up his little brother with it.

"Fine, have at it," I said, wondering if we had any 100-proof alcohol around. I texted Tonya, told her the sorry story, and all she could say was, "Well, I guess he has to beat up someone."

"That or start drinking," I said.

He reappeared, and I asked him if he'd like a shot of whiskey to soothe his day. He said he was tempted. We both weren't serious, or at least I wasn't. Then he started showing me pictures of Guido at his junior prom, holding a Coors Light, and another of him lying in the middle of empty cans of Tito's vodka, laughing. 

"Has your mother seen these?" I asked, curious.

"I dunno, but she knows." He said (I found out later she did not).

I told him to tell the wee one to get ready; we'd go out for something to eat. It was then that I got a text from Tonya asking me how everything was going.

"We are going out for some Tito's after O'Hare feeds the dog, and we are taking the wee one with us. We'll pass the wee one off as a leprechaun when we get to the bar."

And what did she text me? She texted: "Sounds good."

Gabe

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