Slingshot Wizards And Me Da Was One Of Them

26 June 2024

1120

R. Linda:

Maybe you heard that in California an 81-year-old man was arrested for victimising his neighbours with a slingshot! Seems certain neighbours had their windows smashed by ball bearings that would come whizzing through their homes, and some, their car windscreens, and even missiles aimed at themselves. Yikers! This went on for a good decade it did. 

The old man became known as the "serial slingshot shooter" of Azusa, California! Seems the police were called to take care of a "quality of life issue" that had garnered complaints from residents of North Enid Ave., that someone with a slingshot was wreaking havoc on them, and their property, and, they wanted it stopped. 

The suspected "serial slingshot shooter" was named as one Prince King. With a name like that no wonder he might be confused and battling royal demons or something just as bizarre . . . like ball bearings. Anyway, a search warrant was issued and found inside the culprit's home were ball bearings and an incriminating SLINGSHOT.

Lt. Jake Bushey of the Azusa Police Department said they had been investigating this nuisance disturbance from the get-go, but couldn't find the miscreant until recently. Bushey wasn't sure how they found Prince King but maybe it was from the amount of ball bearings that seemed to come from the director of Mr. King's backyard. I do wonder if the dropped ball bearings in the backyard also gave them a clue.

No one knows exactly why Mr. King slingshotted his neighbours, but chalked it up to "malicious mischief." Bushy stated the shots weren't random, and that he did not know why certain people and homes were targeted. To add insult to injury, the Azusa Police Department's FaceBook page had plenty of commenters complaining they too, had their windscreens shot out, however, they weren't sure Mr. King was the person who "done it."

Mr. King has a date with the court as you can well imagine. 

Now all this had me remembering me own dear old sainted Da and HIS penchant for his slingshot that he named "Molly-Girl." A rather lethal weapon it was too, constructed of heavy oak wood, with a thick rubber band about an inch and a half wide, with a leather piece in the centre threaded through the elastic, that held a marble really well, and when fired, the thing was dangerous . . . and accurate. And, just know he was a marksman firing that thing. Didn't miss, not once that I know of.

Where he had got this weapon for making holes in heads, arms, torsos, legs, etc., I do not know. What happened to "Molly-Girl" I also do not know. I remember her well though. When we lived with me Grandparents for a short time in Southern Ireland, me Gran had a cherry tree of which she was very proud. This tree gave off the sweetest dark cherries one could have tasted. We looked forward to the fruit every summer, we did. 

She'd hire local men to come climb this massive tree and gather cherries in brown paper bags. She'd give them an agreed quantity for the picking so no monies were exchanged, just fruit. This tree was huge, and it was tall, so risking lives for cherries was what these men did. But, like I say, the fruit was worth it.

Of course, from the road, you could see this heavily laden tree and of course, when the pickers took the fruit of their labour home, and others tasted the sweetness, well, there were a lot of others who coveted those cherries.

It wasn't unusual to hear a rustling in the tree at night that signalled Grandma's tree was being pilfered. For some reason, instead of going out and chasing the poachers away, Da would go up to the attic and out the window onto the roof, where he had a good view of the tree below. There he would sit with his dear "Molly-Girl" and a bag of marbles. 

My bedroom was on the tree side of the house, and I can remember being awakened in the dead of night to shouts and screams, and sometimes breaking branches as poachers fell out of that great tree with loud thuds. You'd think after one such foray these cherry thieves would learn, but no, for at least six years, they came and tried every summer harvest, and like clockwork, Molly-Girl appeared to do her combat work. 

Me Mam was never a fan of this behaviour on me Da's part. Me Gran though, she was all about saving that fruit and not happy anyone without her permission would pillage and plunder that tree of hers. I often wonder if that tree is still there. I do wonder what happened to that infamous slingshot, and what possessed me father to hunt cherry thieves and not call the local constabulary. Knowing him as I did, I think the thrill of it all consumed him. As probably did Prince King. Only me Da thought he was protecting our property, and the other guy . . . 

Gabe

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