Crying wolf once too often and being taken seriously for it

 18 January 2022

1056

R. Linda:

When it was Mam's birthday, we didn't celebrate it with any fancy lunch out (which she looks forward to), no, it was pandemic time again with the new Omicron variant, so we did the usual homemade dinner and cake at home with the kiddos. I promised her that as soon as things ended and her favourite restaurant was back in action, we'd celebrate belatedly. She was fine with that, as I knew she would be.

Well, things never got better as far as the pandemic was concerned, but her favourite restaurant was serving to limited capacity and well, I asked her if she'd like to attempt lunch out and she agreed. With the kiddos in school and Tonya taking a personal day, I made reservations and the three of us took off for a late celebration. 

When we got to the restaurant we noticed the old tree that sheltered the place was gone, and with all that was going on this year, we did remember hearing it was blown over in a windstorm. This saddened the owners, staff, and clients, but the owners had an idea and the restaurant is the house where Little Red Riding Hood was written, the whimsey flowed and what could be salvaged of that ancient tree was done well. The ingenious owners put a door on the trunk that was left, hollowed it out, and preserved it.

Clever preservation don't you agree?

We were there for the first sitting of a five-course meal and I must say the chef has not lost his touch for excellent cuisine. What made Mam happy was that the three dining areas had two tables occupied in each room, which gave plenty of space between diners. We noticed an upgrade in the charming decor and really enjoyed getting out since it had been a long time since we had done anything.

Tonya had called ahead to let them know it was Mam's birthday and when we had got to dessert, the waitress brought out a packet of herbs (the usual birthday giveaway) and asked who was celebrating the day. I piped up and said, "Me Mam, she be 105 today!"

"105? Wow, you look good for your age." The woman said, not sure we were joking or serious until me Mam agreed she did look good for 105. The diners at the end of the room overheard and all three turned to look at us and smile. 

I have found it not unusual for New Hampshire natives to live to well over 100. In almost every town there is a gold-topped walking stick that is given to the oldest resident every year. Well, Mam be nowhere near that age, and it has been a standing joke in our family that the number of candles on one's cake never reflects their true age. There have been times she has been 2 years old, and times she was 165! So this was just another of our idiosyncrasies that was made public for the first time. We did not expect the reaction we got!

I overheard the table down the other end whisper loudly for one of them to call the local news station. 105, can you imagine? Let's get the news guys here. Tonya heard and I heard, and we looked wide-eyed at each other. Mam hadn't heard and was going on about turning 105, so what to do before the news crew arrived and we were put on New England network television?

We thought the waitress understood it was a joke, but we don't think she really thought that. She looked like she believed Mam was 105 and Mam was convincing going on about how she uses coconut oil on her skin to look not past 50. Oh dear, oh dear!

I did say to the waitress and the table down the other end, that it was a joke, but by that time no one believed me. 

Well, we got out of there fast, but Mam wanted to go to the gift shop which was not attached to the restaurant so shrugging our shoulders we went there. I told Mam being it was her birthday (kind of) to pick out anything she wanted and I would get it for her. The cashier overheard and commented what a good son she had. And she, of course, quipped she was 105 so . . . 

It struck me that if she was 105 WHAT DID THAT MAKE ME? I was about to say something when the three diners who wanted to call the news station walked in and congratulated her on turning 105. This added credence to an out-of-control lie. Tonya got us going and we got out of there as soon as I had Mam's purchases. 

Not sure I can go back there anytime soon, unless in disguise. I want to take Tonya there for an evening Valentine's dinner, but unless she dyes her hair blond and I grow a moustache and beard, we are celebrating elsewhere. 

Gabe

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