25 March 2019
946
R. Linda:
Sean has a bad habit of falling asleep in front of a blaring telly. He says it be the only way he can sleep. I can't do it, Tonya can't do it, but Sean's only way to fall asleep be with loud blaring noise with telly turned up high. Well, this habit has not gone unnoticed by me apple-cheeked grey-haired Mam, no indeed. It seems she's had it out for Sean for some reason (probably because he's lazy) and well, his falling asleep in the middle of the afternoon while she was trying to concentrate on her taxes just drove her over the edge it did. Timing him for thirty minutes she finally had had it. She went in turned off the lights (it was a sunny day so no need for that either, but that's his other habit, he can't sleep if the room doesn't have a light on and in this case all the lights on), and then she switched the telly off and left.
Of course, after a few minutes of darkness and silence our Sean awoke with his usual stuttering, "Whaa, whaa, uhhh." Yup, and there Mam was in the dining room listening to this with an evil grin on her face. About another minute later, our Sean came stumbling into the dining room rubbing his sleep deprived eyes and said, "Did you do that?" and he pointed to the living room behind him.
"Do wot?" She asked like she hadn't the time nor did she have any idea what he's talking about.
"Turn the lights and the telly off, I mean."
"OHHH," she said looking up at him, "it be you! I taught yer wuz dead so I turned every thin' off."
Yup, and well that isn't the only thing she's done to him. That's mild compared to the near heart attack she gave him over his favourite hoodie.
When Sean takes his occasional naps inside our house instead of his camper, he gets hot just lying there and peels off a hoodie or sweatshirt and of course, it ends up on the floor. Well, me Mam was doing the wash and she came to get a sweater she wanted that she left folded very nicely I might add, on the chair arm. To get there she had to step over the discarded article, but it was spread out full length and she had to step on it to get to her sweater. Seeing she left a bit of a foot print she sighed, picked it up and took it to the washer. It was inside out and SHE was not about to touch that sweaty hoodie and put it right side out, so she popped it in the washer. Later, she didn't right it when she threw it in the dryer, and she certainly didn't fix it when she folded it. She left it on the edge of the couch where himself had been snoozing. When he woke he saw it, and feeling a wee bit of a chill went to put it on. Being he was still in wakey-wakey mode he didn't notice it was inside out. He looked down and didn't see his favourite logo, which was a cartoon man falling off one of the Cliffs of Moher, and jumping up he made disparagingly panicked noises as he pulled his shirt around thinking he had it on backwards! Well, he did now.
"Wot be wrong wit ya?" Me Mam said coming in to switch off the light and the telly . . . again.
"Me houdie! Da logo be gone it be!" And he showed it to her as she shook her head in what he thought was her saying silently oh that's too bad, when in reality she was silently thinking, "Yer a ninny!"
I hate to say this but it took him a full two hours before he realised the hoodie was inside out, and on backwards. Yup!
Just yesterday, Sean made a remark at lunch he'd love it if me little apple-cheeked, grey-haired Mam would make him some of her "world renown Irish potato soup."
"World renown be it?" She quipped.
"Ay ta me it is an' I missed out on it fer St. Pats." He looked all long faced or as me Mam says he put his horse face on. "I'll die if I don't have some o' dat tastey fare soon."
"Good to know," she quipped again.
"Wot?" Asks he quite oblivious to her mood. Lets put it this way, Sean be no charmer, he is deadpan everything and will never sweet talk a snake because he just doesn't have any of that in him.
"If you fill dose pot holes in da driveway dat yer heavy camper haz made, I'll consider makin' ya da soup. A whole batch jus fer ya sel'."
This sobered Mr. Lazy Person right up. How much did he want that soup? Well, not enough to go get gravel and dirt and fill in the pot holes he's made.
"Yer goin' ta die of yer own stubbornness ya are." Mam stated looking straight at him. "On yer tombstone it's gonna say Sean Declan O'Sullivan died of too much sleep, not enough potato soup because his stubbornness got da best of 'em. And I'll make sure it says dat on yer stone." With that she got up and left him sitting there without a word of rebuke coming to his slow, sluggish brain. I tell ya!
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
946
R. Linda:
Sean has a bad habit of falling asleep in front of a blaring telly. He says it be the only way he can sleep. I can't do it, Tonya can't do it, but Sean's only way to fall asleep be with loud blaring noise with telly turned up high. Well, this habit has not gone unnoticed by me apple-cheeked grey-haired Mam, no indeed. It seems she's had it out for Sean for some reason (probably because he's lazy) and well, his falling asleep in the middle of the afternoon while she was trying to concentrate on her taxes just drove her over the edge it did. Timing him for thirty minutes she finally had had it. She went in turned off the lights (it was a sunny day so no need for that either, but that's his other habit, he can't sleep if the room doesn't have a light on and in this case all the lights on), and then she switched the telly off and left.
Of course, after a few minutes of darkness and silence our Sean awoke with his usual stuttering, "Whaa, whaa, uhhh." Yup, and there Mam was in the dining room listening to this with an evil grin on her face. About another minute later, our Sean came stumbling into the dining room rubbing his sleep deprived eyes and said, "Did you do that?" and he pointed to the living room behind him.
"Do wot?" She asked like she hadn't the time nor did she have any idea what he's talking about.
"Turn the lights and the telly off, I mean."
"OHHH," she said looking up at him, "it be you! I taught yer wuz dead so I turned every thin' off."
Yup, and well that isn't the only thing she's done to him. That's mild compared to the near heart attack she gave him over his favourite hoodie.
When Sean takes his occasional naps inside our house instead of his camper, he gets hot just lying there and peels off a hoodie or sweatshirt and of course, it ends up on the floor. Well, me Mam was doing the wash and she came to get a sweater she wanted that she left folded very nicely I might add, on the chair arm. To get there she had to step over the discarded article, but it was spread out full length and she had to step on it to get to her sweater. Seeing she left a bit of a foot print she sighed, picked it up and took it to the washer. It was inside out and SHE was not about to touch that sweaty hoodie and put it right side out, so she popped it in the washer. Later, she didn't right it when she threw it in the dryer, and she certainly didn't fix it when she folded it. She left it on the edge of the couch where himself had been snoozing. When he woke he saw it, and feeling a wee bit of a chill went to put it on. Being he was still in wakey-wakey mode he didn't notice it was inside out. He looked down and didn't see his favourite logo, which was a cartoon man falling off one of the Cliffs of Moher, and jumping up he made disparagingly panicked noises as he pulled his shirt around thinking he had it on backwards! Well, he did now.
"Wot be wrong wit ya?" Me Mam said coming in to switch off the light and the telly . . . again.
"Me houdie! Da logo be gone it be!" And he showed it to her as she shook her head in what he thought was her saying silently oh that's too bad, when in reality she was silently thinking, "Yer a ninny!"
I hate to say this but it took him a full two hours before he realised the hoodie was inside out, and on backwards. Yup!
Just yesterday, Sean made a remark at lunch he'd love it if me little apple-cheeked, grey-haired Mam would make him some of her "world renown Irish potato soup."
"World renown be it?" She quipped.
"Ay ta me it is an' I missed out on it fer St. Pats." He looked all long faced or as me Mam says he put his horse face on. "I'll die if I don't have some o' dat tastey fare soon."
"Good to know," she quipped again.
"Wot?" Asks he quite oblivious to her mood. Lets put it this way, Sean be no charmer, he is deadpan everything and will never sweet talk a snake because he just doesn't have any of that in him.
"If you fill dose pot holes in da driveway dat yer heavy camper haz made, I'll consider makin' ya da soup. A whole batch jus fer ya sel'."
This sobered Mr. Lazy Person right up. How much did he want that soup? Well, not enough to go get gravel and dirt and fill in the pot holes he's made.
"Yer goin' ta die of yer own stubbornness ya are." Mam stated looking straight at him. "On yer tombstone it's gonna say Sean Declan O'Sullivan died of too much sleep, not enough potato soup because his stubbornness got da best of 'em. And I'll make sure it says dat on yer stone." With that she got up and left him sitting there without a word of rebuke coming to his slow, sluggish brain. I tell ya!
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
6 comments:
LMAO it's time for a swift kick with a big boot on his posterior. Right out of the house.
And I suspect we both know that be coming soon and just who be wearing the boot 🥾
A loud Telly in the house can be very distracting and irritating especially when you are trying to watch another Telly in the house. I know because my mam is hard of hearing and due to me small house that is what happens. You couid probably hear it from where you live LOL. Luckily she has since gotten hearing aids and life in me abode is semi peaceful again!
Me Mam is all about lazy people taking advantage she be. But Trump’s immigration policy is giving her an unexpected boost in that cousin Sean needs go back to the U.K.! Oh too bad LMAO
LOL
LOL indeed.
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