03 August 2018
922
R. Linda:
There was a get-together at the school for the new kindergarten class. Tonya was thrilled about this, she thought it was a great idea of how to get parents, students and teachers together to meet before the new school session began. Only problem, she being a teacher herself, she was spending the week in conferences so she couldn't be the one to take our youngest to the get-together. Me Mam had volunteered, but at the last minute she wrenched her shoulder and couldn't attend. Guess who went? Yes, me, lucky me.
Everything started off great, I knew most of the parents and kiddos so I felt very relaxed being there and the young kiddo was having a ball being reunited with friends he hadn't seen since preschool let out.
The kindergarten teacher is new this year, so I had not met her. Well, R. Linda, she was one of those tall, thin sticks of a woman, dark hair in a messy bun, nondescript dark skirt and blouse, who, when she smiled she seemed to have cracks all over her nondescript face.
At one point I had been forced as other parents to sit nearly on the floor in a kindergarten chair that made me look like Jiminy Cricket crammed into a box. Me knees were over me head and me feet sticking out in opposing directions. Not to mention me back against the thick slats of the chair was making me even more uncomfortable than the thoughts of how on earth was I to get up again?
Anyway, while I was struggling with the discomfort and the thoughts I'd need to call in the fire department to get me out of the chair, Ms. Malrony, the teacher, bends down and says to me, "You are Albert's father?"
I was taken aback, who the heck is Albert? I looked behind her and pointed at the blond haired tyke that was mine and said, "No, that be me kiddo, his name is . . . " And that is as far as I got as she looked behind her and stood up out of earshot. She coolly assessed the laughing, four year old who was giving monkey pinches to his friend.
"OH," she said looking down her nose at him. "I was told about HIM."
If I could have got up I would have confronted her with a what do you mean you were told about HIM? But I was wedged in the seat so that was quite impossible unless I shouted and then the whole room would be in on the conversation, that my gut feeling was telling wasn't going to be a good one.
She left me squirming to get out of the chair and walked over to me kiddo and said, "Now you know better than to do that. Stop right now and go sit over there and think about the next time you want to pinch someone."
THAT had me. I crab walked with the chair stuck to me butt to go over and give her a piece of me mind. The kiddos had all been monkey pinching each other and for me kiddo to be the only one put in time out, well really!
She moved off once he was seated in a corner of the room, I might add the furthest corner to where I was still crab walking after her. She kept moving around and I tried to get to her but for the awkward position. Several mothers came over to try to help me out of the chair, their husbands all being in the same position as I was. Finally, with the help of three moms I was able to escape the wooden prison called a child's chair. I tell ya!
Ms. Malrony was busy chatting to other parents and I wanted to interrupt her but one of the conversations was about a parents concern over a learning disorder that ran in her family that she wanted the teacher to know about ahead of session. Well, I couldn't interrupt that, so I walked over to me sad kiddo and made the colossal mistake of pulling up another pint sized chair and re-wedging me big self in it.
I told him it was ok and asked him if he wanted to get up and go mingle with his friends to which he perked right up.
"Ok then, you go and do that." I said as he ran off.
Well, that move did not go unnoticed, Ms. Malrony saw him bolt out of the chair from the corner of her evil eye and she excused herself from the current conversation on the other side of the room to come over to me and bend down.
Shaking a long finger in me face she said, "Now Mr. O'Sullivan do you really want to encourage that kind of behaviour? Another five minutes and your son would have been allowed to re-enter the meet. I am gauging behaviours Mr. O'Sullivan and I certainly hope YOUR son isn't going to be trouble. I want this year to be special."
Oh boy! Ask me if I was not boiling inside. Ask me if I didn't want to stick Ms. Malrony's butt in that little chair forever. Ask me if I wanted to give her a piece of me mind. Ask me if I then and there wanted to pull me kiddo out of her class. The answer to all is a resounding YES I DID!
But she continued as I began to open me piehole to read her the O'Sully riot act.
"Now Mr. O'Sullivan I am going to ask you to NOT override any instructions I give to the children here. Do you think you can do that?"
This was said to me as if I was a three year old. Much like you talk to an uncomprehending child or worse a dog.
Me eyes were coals I be sure as I made to get up to me full six feet three inches and stand over her sorry arse letting the O'Sully riot act burst forth, but for the fact that I forgot what I was sitting in and couldn't get up to intimation height. Jayus what was I thinking? I made a right show of struggling in the chair and grunting where I was suddenly surrounded by the same three moms who helped me the first time. They were laughing R. Linda, they were totally unaware of the situation and that made me predicament even worse. I tell ya!
Ms. Malrony suggested "Next time sit on the edge of a table so this doesn't happen." Caroline Beal's mouth gaped open in astounded surprise at Malrony's parting shot. And Malrony had walked off. They got me out but by that time, Ms. Malrony was back to the learning disability conversation. I was left standing there with Rita Holmes giggling that she would have to tell Tonya how I got wedged in a small chair TWICE and Caroline patting me on the back telling me I was "no worse for the experience." Jessica Twombly told me to sit down and patted the table next to me taking Ms. Malrony's suggestion as the only recourse to me standing. That was not a good suggestion because that is exactly what I did as I waited for Ms. Malrony, the riot act still ready to spew forth. And as I sat on the edge of the table, Dan Crenley got up from the pint size chair at the other end where he was learning on the table for balance as he struggled to get out of the chair, when he let go, the table went over with me on it!
Okay, go ahead and laugh. Ms. Malrony looked over like what are doing NOW to disrupt the meeting? Rita was in gales of laughter, trying not to laugh but gales it was. I wasn't hurt, just me pride. Dan had come running around the table to get me on me feet, as everyone and I mean everyone, including kiddos came to see if I had hurt meself or worse in Ms. Malrony's opinion, broke the table!
As you can imagine, the O'Sully riot act went out the window it did. I took me kiddo and me injured pride and went on home where I discovered me lower back was black and blue where I fell. Yeah so I be home with me injured Mam, the kiddo oblivious to me attempt to stick up for him and well I have a lot to think about. Like do I tell Tonya what a fool I made of meself? Do I tell her our kiddo has a stormtrooper for a kindergarten teacher? Do I go in privately and have a "chat" with Ms. Malrony? Or do I play it by ear and say nothing?
I be nursing me injured pride right now. Also nursing Sean waiting on me hand and foot. I told him I took a spill on a slippery slope and he bought it. Sean's bustling around waiting on me has given me some solace of secret satisfaction. I know I shouldn't take out me anger on him, but he just happens to be number two on me O'Sully get even with list. We know who be number one. Yeah sure, "Sit on the edge of the table Mr. O'Sullivan," (said in a sarcastic falsetto right to me face). I TELL YA!
Gabe
Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved
922
R. Linda:
There was a get-together at the school for the new kindergarten class. Tonya was thrilled about this, she thought it was a great idea of how to get parents, students and teachers together to meet before the new school session began. Only problem, she being a teacher herself, she was spending the week in conferences so she couldn't be the one to take our youngest to the get-together. Me Mam had volunteered, but at the last minute she wrenched her shoulder and couldn't attend. Guess who went? Yes, me, lucky me.
Everything started off great, I knew most of the parents and kiddos so I felt very relaxed being there and the young kiddo was having a ball being reunited with friends he hadn't seen since preschool let out.
The kindergarten teacher is new this year, so I had not met her. Well, R. Linda, she was one of those tall, thin sticks of a woman, dark hair in a messy bun, nondescript dark skirt and blouse, who, when she smiled she seemed to have cracks all over her nondescript face.
At one point I had been forced as other parents to sit nearly on the floor in a kindergarten chair that made me look like Jiminy Cricket crammed into a box. Me knees were over me head and me feet sticking out in opposing directions. Not to mention me back against the thick slats of the chair was making me even more uncomfortable than the thoughts of how on earth was I to get up again?
Anyway, while I was struggling with the discomfort and the thoughts I'd need to call in the fire department to get me out of the chair, Ms. Malrony, the teacher, bends down and says to me, "You are Albert's father?"
I was taken aback, who the heck is Albert? I looked behind her and pointed at the blond haired tyke that was mine and said, "No, that be me kiddo, his name is . . . " And that is as far as I got as she looked behind her and stood up out of earshot. She coolly assessed the laughing, four year old who was giving monkey pinches to his friend.
"OH," she said looking down her nose at him. "I was told about HIM."
If I could have got up I would have confronted her with a what do you mean you were told about HIM? But I was wedged in the seat so that was quite impossible unless I shouted and then the whole room would be in on the conversation, that my gut feeling was telling wasn't going to be a good one.
She left me squirming to get out of the chair and walked over to me kiddo and said, "Now you know better than to do that. Stop right now and go sit over there and think about the next time you want to pinch someone."
THAT had me. I crab walked with the chair stuck to me butt to go over and give her a piece of me mind. The kiddos had all been monkey pinching each other and for me kiddo to be the only one put in time out, well really!
She moved off once he was seated in a corner of the room, I might add the furthest corner to where I was still crab walking after her. She kept moving around and I tried to get to her but for the awkward position. Several mothers came over to try to help me out of the chair, their husbands all being in the same position as I was. Finally, with the help of three moms I was able to escape the wooden prison called a child's chair. I tell ya!
Ms. Malrony was busy chatting to other parents and I wanted to interrupt her but one of the conversations was about a parents concern over a learning disorder that ran in her family that she wanted the teacher to know about ahead of session. Well, I couldn't interrupt that, so I walked over to me sad kiddo and made the colossal mistake of pulling up another pint sized chair and re-wedging me big self in it.
I told him it was ok and asked him if he wanted to get up and go mingle with his friends to which he perked right up.
"Ok then, you go and do that." I said as he ran off.
Well, that move did not go unnoticed, Ms. Malrony saw him bolt out of the chair from the corner of her evil eye and she excused herself from the current conversation on the other side of the room to come over to me and bend down.
Shaking a long finger in me face she said, "Now Mr. O'Sullivan do you really want to encourage that kind of behaviour? Another five minutes and your son would have been allowed to re-enter the meet. I am gauging behaviours Mr. O'Sullivan and I certainly hope YOUR son isn't going to be trouble. I want this year to be special."
Oh boy! Ask me if I was not boiling inside. Ask me if I didn't want to stick Ms. Malrony's butt in that little chair forever. Ask me if I wanted to give her a piece of me mind. Ask me if I then and there wanted to pull me kiddo out of her class. The answer to all is a resounding YES I DID!
But she continued as I began to open me piehole to read her the O'Sully riot act.
"Now Mr. O'Sullivan I am going to ask you to NOT override any instructions I give to the children here. Do you think you can do that?"
This was said to me as if I was a three year old. Much like you talk to an uncomprehending child or worse a dog.
Me eyes were coals I be sure as I made to get up to me full six feet three inches and stand over her sorry arse letting the O'Sully riot act burst forth, but for the fact that I forgot what I was sitting in and couldn't get up to intimation height. Jayus what was I thinking? I made a right show of struggling in the chair and grunting where I was suddenly surrounded by the same three moms who helped me the first time. They were laughing R. Linda, they were totally unaware of the situation and that made me predicament even worse. I tell ya!
Ms. Malrony suggested "Next time sit on the edge of a table so this doesn't happen." Caroline Beal's mouth gaped open in astounded surprise at Malrony's parting shot. And Malrony had walked off. They got me out but by that time, Ms. Malrony was back to the learning disability conversation. I was left standing there with Rita Holmes giggling that she would have to tell Tonya how I got wedged in a small chair TWICE and Caroline patting me on the back telling me I was "no worse for the experience." Jessica Twombly told me to sit down and patted the table next to me taking Ms. Malrony's suggestion as the only recourse to me standing. That was not a good suggestion because that is exactly what I did as I waited for Ms. Malrony, the riot act still ready to spew forth. And as I sat on the edge of the table, Dan Crenley got up from the pint size chair at the other end where he was learning on the table for balance as he struggled to get out of the chair, when he let go, the table went over with me on it!
Okay, go ahead and laugh. Ms. Malrony looked over like what are doing NOW to disrupt the meeting? Rita was in gales of laughter, trying not to laugh but gales it was. I wasn't hurt, just me pride. Dan had come running around the table to get me on me feet, as everyone and I mean everyone, including kiddos came to see if I had hurt meself or worse in Ms. Malrony's opinion, broke the table!
As you can imagine, the O'Sully riot act went out the window it did. I took me kiddo and me injured pride and went on home where I discovered me lower back was black and blue where I fell. Yeah so I be home with me injured Mam, the kiddo oblivious to me attempt to stick up for him and well I have a lot to think about. Like do I tell Tonya what a fool I made of meself? Do I tell her our kiddo has a stormtrooper for a kindergarten teacher? Do I go in privately and have a "chat" with Ms. Malrony? Or do I play it by ear and say nothing?
I be nursing me injured pride right now. Also nursing Sean waiting on me hand and foot. I told him I took a spill on a slippery slope and he bought it. Sean's bustling around waiting on me has given me some solace of secret satisfaction. I know I shouldn't take out me anger on him, but he just happens to be number two on me O'Sully get even with list. We know who be number one. Yeah sure, "Sit on the edge of the table Mr. O'Sullivan," (said in a sarcastic falsetto right to me face). I TELL YA!
Gabe
Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved
11 comments:
That was funny! I could picture it all.
What a cow she sounds. I wouldn't worry though your wee one will win her over and without your help. He is a cutie pie and well you'll be glad you didn't have that private chat. Start as you mean to go on. He's got this!
Sounds like you needed to go home to a slice of cold pizza and some chocolate milk. :)+
Lmao! We are as bad as each other lol
You’re both bad people knowing what I said about THAT subject. SO once again the blog is closed to comments on CM & CP.
You do get into it don't you Cappy? I would have loved to see you crab walking with a chair on your back. I wish I'd been there to video it, the crew would have got a hearty laugh. Yo ho matey!
I wager the O'Sully riot act is much like the Hughes riot act. I would have been looking just as ridiculous crawling after that woman in a chair too if that was me. I want to know why they think it is perfectly all right for an adult to wedge themselves in those small chairs where the arms lock you down and the seat gets your arse stuck. I refuse to sit in those pint size chairs at school conferences. I will be over the moon when my lad is out of elementary school so I can sit in an adult size chair for conferences. There ought to be a law Gabe.
Supportive as always Jack!
Those words did not come out of my mouth! I'm innocent lol
Yeah. You don’t look innocent SO this is the last comment on the subject — either subtlety submitted or right out there. Done.
Sorry so late. But I don't find dealings with any teachers funny. You in a chair, maybe. Teachers, no. I had those teachers trying to screw up my kids in their kindergarten days and treat me like a stupid person. Not just kindergarten, all the way to 3rd grade. Don't get me started I'll go on a rant
Post a Comment