27 December 2018
935
R. Linda:
The morning after the limoncello drinking and very bad cookie making, me wife was feeling a zinger of a limoncello hangover. She came into the kitchen, eyes half open fumbling for the coffee pot. I took it from her before she burned herself and told her I'd fix a cup all she needed was to chill out.
The kitchen window was next to the coffee bar so she was leaning against the counter looking out at the cloudy weather when she started suddenly and pointing at the backyard exclaimed, "WHO IS THAT?"
Well, we all went to the window and looked and I saw no one, but me Mam did and started chuckling. Tonya looked at her like she was out of her mind. I knew who "was that" because the day before I had been home and it being two months since Halloween, I wanted the scarecrow Tonya and the wee one made for the occasion moved off the front bench. It had snowed, so when I went out to remove the offending decoration, I found it was saturated and as a result weighed nearly a ton. I let it sit out there thinking the wind might dry it out and make it easier to move. When I went out around 2:30 in the afternoon, it was lighter and I got it around back next to Sean's camper. Me evil side wanted to haul it into the camper, but my better half got the best of me so I just put it on the far side of the camper out of sight. I needed two people to move it. When O'Hare came in, I got his teenage self to keep his jacket on.
I said, "We are going to move a dead body."
And he replied, "Who or what died? The dog?"
"No," said I, "just help me, come on." And I walked out the backdoor with him on my heels.
I had to take pause that me own kiddo, would agree without knowing who or what had died but was dead, and would help me no holds barred to move a dead body or dead something! So if you ever murder anyone, call me eldest he'll help move the body no questions asked, Jayus!
I said to him over my shoulder that I would take the shoulders and he would take the feet.
"O-M-G did ya finally end Sean, Da? I know he was a pistol."
I took a pause again, to think me own blood thinks I be capable of murder, I tell ya!
I moved to the other side of the camper to the scarecrow's head and indicated O'Hare pick up the straw feet. He started laughing as we hauled that heavy monster up.
"Where to?" He asked.
"We will put him in your Ma's garden on the bench since this is hers."
And we did. We set him nicely on the bench. Now Tonya did not come home from work until after dark so she didn't know about this, and the cookie baking happened and O'Hare was not thinking about dead bodies, he was all into royal icing and how best to make a gingerbread boy look updated. Then there was me with the limoncello so no, I gave that scarecrow notta thought.
So the next morning, having completely forgotten what O'Hare and I had done, I was not paying any mind to Tonya peering out the window, nor what she might see that for all intents and purposes looked like a big guy sitting in her garden. See below:
Tonya was not the only one to get spooked that day. Later the weather cleared, the snow melted and it was a beautiful afternoon so Mam decided to go to the sugar shack down the road and get dark amber maple syrup which she cooks with. On her way back she saw this sign coming up and it caught her attention.
Mystified she stopped and took this snap:
She looked all around her in wonder and was quite a bit shaken. You see she takes any transportation sign in the U.S.A. as government mandated and that's that. So to see a Sasquatch crossing . . . well, she believed it was for real! The poor dear was quite a bit shaken up by the time she got home. She was never going on that road again because she said if one of "dem Sasquatch coom walkin' cross da rood well, saints preserve us I mos likely will av' 'eart failure!"
I tried (not too hard because it was funny to me) to dispel the idea that Bigfoot was real and living behind her house (as the sugar shack was a straight line from our backyard), so she sent Sean out to do her bidding until Tonya finally talked reason into her superstitious self. Of course, now that she knows better I haven't heard the end of it because she, unlike me eldest, no longer trusts me.
Gabe
Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved
935
R. Linda:
The morning after the limoncello drinking and very bad cookie making, me wife was feeling a zinger of a limoncello hangover. She came into the kitchen, eyes half open fumbling for the coffee pot. I took it from her before she burned herself and told her I'd fix a cup all she needed was to chill out.
The kitchen window was next to the coffee bar so she was leaning against the counter looking out at the cloudy weather when she started suddenly and pointing at the backyard exclaimed, "WHO IS THAT?"
Well, we all went to the window and looked and I saw no one, but me Mam did and started chuckling. Tonya looked at her like she was out of her mind. I knew who "was that" because the day before I had been home and it being two months since Halloween, I wanted the scarecrow Tonya and the wee one made for the occasion moved off the front bench. It had snowed, so when I went out to remove the offending decoration, I found it was saturated and as a result weighed nearly a ton. I let it sit out there thinking the wind might dry it out and make it easier to move. When I went out around 2:30 in the afternoon, it was lighter and I got it around back next to Sean's camper. Me evil side wanted to haul it into the camper, but my better half got the best of me so I just put it on the far side of the camper out of sight. I needed two people to move it. When O'Hare came in, I got his teenage self to keep his jacket on.
I said, "We are going to move a dead body."
And he replied, "Who or what died? The dog?"
"No," said I, "just help me, come on." And I walked out the backdoor with him on my heels.
I had to take pause that me own kiddo, would agree without knowing who or what had died but was dead, and would help me no holds barred to move a dead body or dead something! So if you ever murder anyone, call me eldest he'll help move the body no questions asked, Jayus!
I said to him over my shoulder that I would take the shoulders and he would take the feet.
"O-M-G did ya finally end Sean, Da? I know he was a pistol."
I took a pause again, to think me own blood thinks I be capable of murder, I tell ya!
I moved to the other side of the camper to the scarecrow's head and indicated O'Hare pick up the straw feet. He started laughing as we hauled that heavy monster up.
"Where to?" He asked.
"We will put him in your Ma's garden on the bench since this is hers."
And we did. We set him nicely on the bench. Now Tonya did not come home from work until after dark so she didn't know about this, and the cookie baking happened and O'Hare was not thinking about dead bodies, he was all into royal icing and how best to make a gingerbread boy look updated. Then there was me with the limoncello so no, I gave that scarecrow notta thought.
So the next morning, having completely forgotten what O'Hare and I had done, I was not paying any mind to Tonya peering out the window, nor what she might see that for all intents and purposes looked like a big guy sitting in her garden. See below:
 |
| Poor Tonya, from the kitchen window you couldn't tell it wasn't a person |
Tonya was not the only one to get spooked that day. Later the weather cleared, the snow melted and it was a beautiful afternoon so Mam decided to go to the sugar shack down the road and get dark amber maple syrup which she cooks with. On her way back she saw this sign coming up and it caught her attention.
 |
| Not so much the walker sign, but what was below |
 |
| Yes, the warning below the walkers was quite something for the old girl |
She looked all around her in wonder and was quite a bit shaken. You see she takes any transportation sign in the U.S.A. as government mandated and that's that. So to see a Sasquatch crossing . . . well, she believed it was for real! The poor dear was quite a bit shaken up by the time she got home. She was never going on that road again because she said if one of "dem Sasquatch coom walkin' cross da rood well, saints preserve us I mos likely will av' 'eart failure!"
I tried (not too hard because it was funny to me) to dispel the idea that Bigfoot was real and living behind her house (as the sugar shack was a straight line from our backyard), so she sent Sean out to do her bidding until Tonya finally talked reason into her superstitious self. Of course, now that she knows better I haven't heard the end of it because she, unlike me eldest, no longer trusts me.
Gabe
Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved
6 comments:
I delight in the info on your website. Thank you so much.
I don’t know how informative me stories are, but if they give a laugh I be happy.
That scarecrow does look like a meaty man but the straw hat might have clued her in. I surmise with no coffee in her and her eyes full of sleep she didn't realise what she was looking at, LMAO. Well done and Bigfoot? In New Hampshire?
For sure there are sightings here. Only big foot I've seen are moose.
Dont laugh! There HAVE been bigfoot visitations in n your neighborhood and your house in particular. Never mind, it wasn't bigfoot, it was a dragon! LOL you never will have a dull life. The kids a teenager? That's how long we've known each other.
Yes, he turned 13 a few weeks ago. I feel old.☹️
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