20 April 2014
736
R. Linda:
So . . . I had this dream -- I know what you are going to accuse me of and you'd be right! I ate spicy food, therefore, strangely stupid dream.
I dreamt I was in Ireland and sitting in a pub in Dublin when I was handed a T-shirt. I put it on thinking it was the name of the pub but it wasn't. It said, "1st degree of inebriation: SOBER" in great big yellow letters. I looked around to see if anyone else had a t-shirt like mine, and well, there were black t-shirts galore all with either yellow, red, blue, orange or green lettering, but I could not see what they said because people were moving about the place and it seemed a blur.
So I ordered up a Murphy's Stout and sat sipping me beer thinking the chat was always loud in Dublin pubs and I was wondering to meself why that was until I realised I was in one of those pubs made famous by the Irish Tourist Board where Americans come and Americans are by nature LOUD.
I shrugged to meself that that was the why of it and went back to sipping me beer. I then wondered why it was in a Dublin pub you paid an arm and a leg for your jar. I ordered another as I thought of that and realised again it was the fault of the Irish Tourist Board touting such places to foreign travellers who they knew would pay an arm and a leg for the brew and the atmosphere. But I did not reach this conclusion until I was three Murphys in.
Someone came along and handed me another T-shirt. I put it on over the first one and looked down and noticed it was red and the lettering said: "2nd degree of inebriation: MERRY!" Well, I was sort of, at least I felt quite happy as I ordered me fourth brew.
As I sat there I wondered why everyone around me was so lively. I looked at me jar of Murphys and thought it looked no different than usual so was it the beer? Nah, not everyone was drinking Murphys, some had Guinness, some had Beamish, some O'Hara's Celtic, some Kilkenny and others Harp. So couldn't be the brew but then I realised the most lively among us was the whiskey drinkers swirling their Jamesons or Bushmills, the majority in their cups on Paddys. I decided to order up me merry way to an Irish whiskey and a Paddys was brought before me.
As I contemplated the smoothness of me Paddys Irish Whiskey, someone gave me another T-shirt and I put it on. I looked down and the letters were an electric blue colour and the wording said: "3rd degree of inebriation: DRUNK!" I realised I was sort of there I was, but that didn't stop me from ordering another Paddys.
Behind me was a wee bit of ruckus, there was a group of pub-goers hopping about with "DRUNK" t-shirts trying to do Irish dance but they just looked silly and everyone, including the would-be River dancers, were laughing. I toasted the group and ordered another Murphy's and a shot of Paddy's. I was doing shots with me beer and lost count of how many beer shots I had until someone pulled a t-shirt over me head. I looked down and it was orange and the words said: "4th degree of inebriation: TOTALLY WASTED."
Uh-huh, that was probably the case and being in such a state I did not care. It was then I changed over to what everyone at the bar was drinking -- Irish car bombs! It was then I was wondering why the music was so loud and then I remembered, when I was half a block away I could hear that music and that sound led me to the pub. But the music was American, not Celtic. But then this was a tourist trap and well . . . goes without saying.
I was on me tenth car bomb feeling no pain when the barkeep leans towards me with a folded t-shirt and informs me I have "arrived." I unfolded the T-shirt and in big green letters it said: "5th degree of inebriation IRISH!" Yup, it said that and yup I put it on.
Seems because I did not open me gob, everyone thought I was an American and working me way to being Irish, or what Americans think Irish are . . . drunkards. I took exception to that I did, even though I had on the offending T-shirt. But then I clamped me gob shut thinking let them think what they will, we are making money off them as they try to be us, but know not a fig about us.
So in me dream I was an alcoholic, but in real life, I be a coffee addict. Back home there is a pub on almost every street corner because for centuries the meeting place in British Europe has always been the inn or pub. And believe it or not, not everyone who frequents these places, and many of us do, are not alcoholics. It is chatting up friends at the end of the day that be the real draw. The tradition survives to this day! Strange how being from another country and knowing better, one picks up what people living in the adopted country think of you. Not only that now that I live here, I have adopted the coffee craze of Americans. So what's up with that? Or more, what's up with me?
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So . . . I had this dream -- I know what you are going to accuse me of and you'd be right! I ate spicy food, therefore, strangely stupid dream.
I dreamt I was in Ireland and sitting in a pub in Dublin when I was handed a T-shirt. I put it on thinking it was the name of the pub but it wasn't. It said, "1st degree of inebriation: SOBER" in great big yellow letters. I looked around to see if anyone else had a t-shirt like mine, and well, there were black t-shirts galore all with either yellow, red, blue, orange or green lettering, but I could not see what they said because people were moving about the place and it seemed a blur.
So I ordered up a Murphy's Stout and sat sipping me beer thinking the chat was always loud in Dublin pubs and I was wondering to meself why that was until I realised I was in one of those pubs made famous by the Irish Tourist Board where Americans come and Americans are by nature LOUD.
I shrugged to meself that that was the why of it and went back to sipping me beer. I then wondered why it was in a Dublin pub you paid an arm and a leg for your jar. I ordered another as I thought of that and realised again it was the fault of the Irish Tourist Board touting such places to foreign travellers who they knew would pay an arm and a leg for the brew and the atmosphere. But I did not reach this conclusion until I was three Murphys in.
Someone came along and handed me another T-shirt. I put it on over the first one and looked down and noticed it was red and the lettering said: "2nd degree of inebriation: MERRY!" Well, I was sort of, at least I felt quite happy as I ordered me fourth brew.
As I sat there I wondered why everyone around me was so lively. I looked at me jar of Murphys and thought it looked no different than usual so was it the beer? Nah, not everyone was drinking Murphys, some had Guinness, some had Beamish, some O'Hara's Celtic, some Kilkenny and others Harp. So couldn't be the brew but then I realised the most lively among us was the whiskey drinkers swirling their Jamesons or Bushmills, the majority in their cups on Paddys. I decided to order up me merry way to an Irish whiskey and a Paddys was brought before me.
As I contemplated the smoothness of me Paddys Irish Whiskey, someone gave me another T-shirt and I put it on. I looked down and the letters were an electric blue colour and the wording said: "3rd degree of inebriation: DRUNK!" I realised I was sort of there I was, but that didn't stop me from ordering another Paddys.
Behind me was a wee bit of ruckus, there was a group of pub-goers hopping about with "DRUNK" t-shirts trying to do Irish dance but they just looked silly and everyone, including the would-be River dancers, were laughing. I toasted the group and ordered another Murphy's and a shot of Paddy's. I was doing shots with me beer and lost count of how many beer shots I had until someone pulled a t-shirt over me head. I looked down and it was orange and the words said: "4th degree of inebriation: TOTALLY WASTED."
Uh-huh, that was probably the case and being in such a state I did not care. It was then I changed over to what everyone at the bar was drinking -- Irish car bombs! It was then I was wondering why the music was so loud and then I remembered, when I was half a block away I could hear that music and that sound led me to the pub. But the music was American, not Celtic. But then this was a tourist trap and well . . . goes without saying.
I was on me tenth car bomb feeling no pain when the barkeep leans towards me with a folded t-shirt and informs me I have "arrived." I unfolded the T-shirt and in big green letters it said: "5th degree of inebriation IRISH!" Yup, it said that and yup I put it on.
Seems because I did not open me gob, everyone thought I was an American and working me way to being Irish, or what Americans think Irish are . . . drunkards. I took exception to that I did, even though I had on the offending T-shirt. But then I clamped me gob shut thinking let them think what they will, we are making money off them as they try to be us, but know not a fig about us.
So in me dream I was an alcoholic, but in real life, I be a coffee addict. Back home there is a pub on almost every street corner because for centuries the meeting place in British Europe has always been the inn or pub. And believe it or not, not everyone who frequents these places, and many of us do, are not alcoholics. It is chatting up friends at the end of the day that be the real draw. The tradition survives to this day! Strange how being from another country and knowing better, one picks up what people living in the adopted country think of you. Not only that now that I live here, I have adopted the coffee craze of Americans. So what's up with that? Or more, what's up with me?
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
24 comments:
LMAO
well, you just shot down my put down about your eating habits! I KNOW you don't need a 12 step program, unless they have one for coffee people, but then I'D need one..
I know you're not the stereotype but BEER and whiskey dreams? hmmm maybe you're getting a craving?LMAO
How about a t shirt with the word "Paralytic"? Because I am sure that's what you would have been in your dream after consuming such vast quantities of alcohol. Did you need some alka seltzer when you woke up? LOL
you turn green when you woke up? if you did then you're Irish lmao
And that other craving would be?
No, I didn't actually, just horrified I stereotyped meself.
What does that mean?
LMAO DUH! We're NOT talking about chocolate now.LOL so maybe a cold foamy?
A cold foamy? LMAO
I think MERRY should have been TIPSY. That is my opinion and I know it doesn't count. I do know my very own father gave me roolibos once to cure a rather bad hangover and it worked better than the seltzer products. But he is a bit of a toff so it figured he'd give me that and not the standard hangover fare. Ha ha Da if you should read this. ;)))
I hope he does read that, LMAO but you can get away with calling him a toff. Okay so what is roolbos, it sounds disgusting.
Is that some kind of a tea?
A cold foamy? Hum, that doesn't sound sexy Gabe, LOL
Um, someones been in the dictionary I see, LOL. If you lived in South Africa you'd know that drink and I know you never lived there and that means only one thing ... dictionary! LMAO
And you Mr. Tom W talk about toffs - seems I remember someone grovelling on the floor like a wimp that his stomach was upset after a night of binge drinking that he was begging for help, thus the roolibos. And it made you all better didn't it? Uh huh.
OHHH I got it Tom is upset they are sacking Moyes and you Lucky are a Chelsea fan. I see the problem and the use of Toff. LMAO. I just got that tonight when I heard about Man U. LOLOLOL Lads you both have to stop the rivalry or drink some roolibos and make nice.
Ho hold on isn't a cold foamy a cold hot tub? Or is it a cold beer followed by a walk on the plank and a drop into a foamy sea? Inquiring pirate minds need to know for God's sakes!
Muse, would you please put the pirate's soggy mind to rest and tell him what a "cold foamy" is. You'd be doing the public a favour as a kind of public service announcement. Thanks so much.
LOL you know me too well. Always the curious mind :-)~
SHEESH! I miss the blog for a few days and everyone goes ape.@*#& over cold foamy!LMAO
a cold mug of beer with a head? I wont do that again.
I thought the tea was Rooibos, similar to the honeybush tea.
Now don't make fun of the honeybush.LMAO
That is what happens when you don't clean the blog everyday, people get rowdy. Especially pirate people.
Okay now you are starting trouble. You need to go back on hiatus, LOL.
was getting bored running the nursing home, didn't realize I'd rile up the naughty minded.LOL
Now no one in their right mind will respond to that. LMAO
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