Blog Nonsense

13 March 2013

642

R. Linda:

The drinking must have started early this year. St. Pat's Day isn't until this coming Sunday, but the crazies are out in force they are. Me own blog might be overrun with foolish silliness by those imbibing ahead of time.

I had three "Anonymous" comments on a few of me posts that made no sense whatsoever. Did you ever get a sentence sent to your bad self, written in another language and then go to one of those online translators? Well, that be what I be thinking that these people or person did, as they have not got a good grip on the English language, so off to the online translator they went, resulting in Gabe trying to decipher what they are trying to say. Because, as ye well know those translators can make something like, "I wish I was in heaven," sound like "I pissed on the cat." I tell ya.

And to make this even more embarrassing for these commenter's they are all from the USA. I had heard how backwards most Americans are in reading and writing from me wife (the kindergarten teacher) and now I be a believer. Though I did tell her, "God bless their wee backward hearts for tryin' to read me blog. Obviously, it be difficult for the poor things, but they be tryin' they be."

Then because I think they be embarrassed they have so little command of the English language, nor an understanding of it, to make them look like smartyarses, they stick in some website that has nothing to do with anything as if they be big bloggers with websites and I guess I should be impressed, but well, being the blog master of "Chemical Toilets" does not impress meself, no, no it doesn't (though the wife says, it be proof they flushed what little education they have down the toilet).

Now when I get one of these comments I set it up for the delete button and to make the illiterates proud, as I press the delete button I yell, "FLUSH IT!" and away it goes. I've come to collect them of late so the whole family gets a chance to yell and push the button. I can't tell you the joy it brings the wee ones in particular.

Now I shouldn't say anything about me followers, but I have two that are being prats. Yes, I said it. For a long time, most all of them have been after yours truly to chuck me old pirate photo for a more updated one. I noticed all of them had flowers, or cartoon characters as THEIR icons and I challenged them to go first. Well, I will say I was quite gobsmacked to have thrown down the gauntlet and most of them went on a glam photo shoot and all the pro headshots almost (but not quite) moved me to do as they asked of me own. We actually got into who has the best hair competition and I will say it was then I knew things were getting out of control, especially when one of them had a total facelift just to lord it over all the others.

It took a while, but I finally succumbed to changing me profile picture and what did I get? No response but from one person who said I reminded her from a distance, and if she blurred her eyes, of Robert Downey, jr.

It was all quite by accident the Sherlock Holmes image came to pass. I had for ONE WHOLE DAY, me bare face hanging out and notta comment, even from you, me muse. So that night I added the moustache and still nothing, so the next day I stuck on the deer stalker hat, and then something! I was going to keep adding to me photo until I got a notice. I had bloody fangs ready but then the Downey, jr. comment came so I stopped.

Officially, I have one complaint lodged that I took down the pirate photo and that has come from (and it be no surprise it be from that "other pirate") our very own Captain Jack. So in true Jack tradition, he has put a new photo of himself up and may I say it be a photo I took of him? Yes, Jackie boyo I recognised it instantly.

Then there be the other one, a fellow Irishman (you'll remember him -- the one with the good hair that knows where the rubber ducks are hidden), yeah him. He decided to put in a rather breath-slamming picture of mangled machinery. After I chided his arse, he put up a new one to let me know he's watching me. One sly green eye with a hawkish eyebrow. Nice one, now if only he will add a bit more of his face I be sure the female following would be most grateful, or for yourself, just the hair would make your day.

All this, the bloody stupid comments, the changing of photos, put me to thinking the green beer is already broken out and I don't know where it be hidden. Probably with the rubber ducks. Anyway, me Muse, since the idiocy has begun without me, I am going to the English Pub for an Irish dinner. I know, THAT makes no sense but the English guys are celebrating St. Pat's from tonight to Sunday. Do Englishmen like to drink? That seems to be the case, so to play idiotic catch-up that is where I be heading tonight.

Gabe
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