02 October, 2012

Oh Canada - Air Canada And An Odd Seat Mate

579

02 October 2012

R. Linda:

Here we go, the beginning of the Canada travelogue. You would think after all our experiences with French Canadians we'd forgo anything Canadian, but no, we are risk takers or more accurately gluttons for punishment. This time, we took on the Acadians of Nova Scotia. And this time, I can say we felt welcome, not like a visit to Montreal, Quebec where you are rudely insulted if you don't speak any little bit of French, French Canadian that is. So where to begin? At the airport of course! We booked Air Canada from Boston to Halifax.

Our flight was to leave at 5:30 in the afternoon, so we decided since we'd get into Halifax around eight, we'd eat at Legal Seafood at Logan for an early dinner. We should have known things were not going to go smoothly when we checked in our baggage. We paid the fee and confirmed our seats, only to find the seats I had booked, now had us sitting across the aisle from each other.

"Can we change that?" I asked the agent.

"No, the flight is fully booked, sorry." Said she and that was that.

Nothing to be done but go have dinner, which was fantastic! As Legal Seafood usually is fantastic, I was not disappointed that the airport restaurant was just as wonderful as the others in Boston proper. So we had a leisurely dinner, indulged in a heavy dessert, and a few glasses of wine, and hey we were feeling mellow. Only that feeling didn't last.

Around 4:15 we mosied over to our gate, to be told our flight was delayed until 7:30! Here we were feeling mellow, full of food and ready to sit down for a while, and now it was going to be a long while, and if you fly often you know sitting at the gate is not exactly relaxing. What to do? Well, I pulled out me trusty Priority Passport for the private lounge and off we went, BUT we had to go through South West Airlines security to get there. And once again, it was the full body scan. I don't know what it is, but we were cut out of line for another mega-dose of X-rays.

Once through, we went onto the lounge, and I just sat down with another glass of wine when Tonya asked me if I sent her nephew a birthday card with a little something inside. Well, no I hadn't with the trip and all it slipped my mind, and the birthday isn't until 3 October, so . . . but no that was not going to get me out of the doghouse, I was to get on the phone with American Express and send an AMEX card with a gift card inside.

I couldn't get any reception on me mobile and the landline was next to the window where the hot sunlight was streaming in. Yup, I sat there for an entire hour in the hot sun trying to get all this done. AMEX had me on hold listening to music which I could hardly hear for the arriving flight outside the window with engines roaring. I had to give them not only me AMEX numbers but me name, address, date of birth, and everything that would ensure identity theft did not happen. And because the wife was not having any slagging off I repeated it as many times as I was asked it. It seemed for every step to the gift card I was asked that information and when I asked what happened with the info I gave them the first time, I got no explanation that made any sense.

I had to catch a plane! I hadn't touched me wine which was on the other side of the room at the wife's elbow mind you, and she was busy reading a magazine and did not think her parched-in-the-sun husband would need a refreshment. No, as long as she was comfy and hubby was doing her bidding, nah!

Finally, I told the arse on the phone, I had to catch a flight could we please wind this up? Well, yeah we can and did. I rushed over thinking we had 15 minutes to run down to our gate which was all the way on the other side of the airport, to find we were delayed until 8:15! Nice of her to get up and let me know. But hey, the gift card was ordered and on its way! I tell ya.

"You know I could hear you shouting your personal information from here," says the ingrate.

"Well, he couldn't hear me over the plane on the other side of the window," says I.

"Well then Gabriel, don't be surprised when your credit card is compromised."

Nice, this last smugly said. I downed the entire glass of wine at that. And you know what? My credit card was compromised. I found that out this morning when I got a call from AMEX asking me about a charge I made from California. They were suspicious because my charges were all coming from Nova Scotia at the same time, and how could I be in two places at once? SO GREAT! I spent me first hour at home on the phone, on hold, listening to music, waiting for me card to be cancelled and another one reissued. Gees, all because of a birthday for a child we never see!

Anyway, back to the airport. We left for the gate around 7:50 and got through the metal detector this time, and sat down to wait. I looked around at the passengers for our flight and they all looked tired. Tired of delays, but we weren't done yet. No, an announcement came over the loudspeaker that now our flight was delayed until 9:30 because of mechanical difficulties in Toronto. They were getting another plane and crew and would arrive for boarding at 9:30. GREAT! Four hours of flight delay, oh yeah, lots of fun, considering we had been at Logan since 2:30.

It was like an exodus, half the passengers got up and left to find other flights or to stay the night. Meanwhile, we sat there like bumps on a log getting more and more annoyed with the situation and each other.

"Had we known this, we could have stayed in the lounge," Tonya muttered.

What was there to say to that? Let's go back and go through that full-body scanner a second time? Oh no, no way Gabriel was done with THAT CRAP.

Finally, we were told our plane had arrived and we would be boarding momentarily. As I was sitting there I heard what sounded like propellers. We were supposed to go out on a jet, but it had been replaced with the only thing available, a prop job. Now one thing, Tonya hates small airplanes, especially those with propellers. She won't get on one. I sat there uneasy for about ten minutes hoping she didn't notice the sound and ask me if that noise was what she thought it was. I tried talking loud to disguise the sound because to be quite honest, Gabriel was not about to spend a night in Boston to go through the ordeal of trying to catch a flight the next day! Tonya was not happy with the loud talk and was trying to shush me but I kept it up. I know I looked the right arse, but we were getting on that plane if it was the last thing we did.

As we got to the door of the plane Tonya had been very occupied with ME that she didn't notice until halfway down the aisle that the plane was not the promised jet. No, no it wasn't and she froze. Luckily she stopped next to the seat she was to occupy. I quickly threw our carry-on luggage in the rack and shoved her into her seat and I took mine, as other passengers blocked her view of me so she couldn't start shouting "I want off this freaking plane now!"

I busied meself with me seatbelt and found me seatmate a chatterbox of proportions I did not know could exist in one person. I was glad she had me attention because I knew if I turned in Tonya's direction things would be said and she'd get up and leave. As it turned out, the flight was not overbooked as it originally was, and there were a few empty seats one being next to Tonya.

The plane had started to taxi and I knew it was safe to look in her direction. She was not happy.

"You want me to sit next to you? I'll take the aisle and you can have the window." I suggested.

"NO. Stay where you are, I do NOT want the window!"

Uh oh, she was mad at ME, as if I was the one that ordered the prop job. Oi! In time, once we were up Tonya drifted half on one seat and half on the other marvelling at the lights of Boston. Meanwhile, me seatmate was asking me if I was from Canada. Yup, an Irish accent sounds like a Canadian one to some people and she was from Canada herself, so one would think?

I noticed she flew with a black and white teddy bear. It had seen better days, it was old, dirty and ratty. After the conversation I was to have with her, I'm surprised she didn't tell me it could talk.

Later, Tonya would tell me I was sitting next to Mr. Bean's wife, Mrs. Bean and she had his teddy. I couldn't believe it.

"You will like Nova Scotia," she said, "I want to move there, I am over on the west side of the country and love Nova Scotia." She sighed as if in love. "I will tell you my daughter lives in the north near Breton Isle and the last time I was there, she woke me up at 1 a.m. to go look outside the house. And what did we see? A large green angel! It had its wings spread over the roof of the house and I knew we were safe. You see all night we could hear Bigfoot growling and making those clicking noises in the woods."

OK. I thought she was joking but she was nodding her head in remembrance. I didn't question the story, I mean really? But it gets better. Later she says to me that she has been to Colorado to the Rocky Mountains and we talk about that as I have been there too, as you know. And we talked about the Stanley Hotel (see The Stanley Hotel - Me Stay At The Overlook 23/01/10) and hauntings there. I told her Tonya and I were staying in a couple of so-called haunted rooms this trip, and she said, "Oh I don't believe in ghosts, but I do faeries. I was in my daughter's garden when there in front of me was one, its wings were beautifully transparent and such and it was a nice faery."

All righty then!

Suddenly, Tonya called for the stewardess and I could make out that there was something wrong, but me seatmate kept chattering. The stewardess came back with water and Tonya choked it down. I asked her what was wrong, but she waved me off. I asked her if she wanted me to come sit next to her and she said, she needed breathing room. Real nice that, so I figured she was all right and went back to the odd conversation that had progressed to this.

"You don't want to drive at night up north. I did that once and only once because the UFO frightened me."

No, I did not just hear that I thought to meself.

"The thing was huge, I must tell you, huge! It alighted on a hill and glowed. I got the hell out of there before they could come and get me. I consider myself lucky on that night."

Oh boy. She was nuts, certifiable, and I was her captive. The wife had spread herself out over two seats, so I could not move. She had made a kind of bed out of the seats and was staring at me like I was a dead man. I couldn't figure out what I had done. It wasn't until later, SHE had decided I shouldn't have to ask her if she was all right, I should have moved me arse to the seat next to her instead of flirting with me new wife! WIFE? The woman was in her 60s and nuts as a monkey on alcohol. She was an ageing beatnik for crying out loud! Give me a break!

"With that mop of hair, she looks like Peg from Lady and the Tramp!" The wife huffed at me later.

When we landed we were the last to get off, as I took the woozy Tonya slowly to customs. What had happened was the scare of a prop plane and indigestion at 22,000 feet had taken hold and she was decidedly not well. I told her once on the ground she'd be better and she did slowly start to improve. As we got to the customs line, who was at the back of the line, yeah you guessed it.

As we walked up to take our places SHE had spread out all her carry-on stuff on the floor. She had the stuff in sections. What she was doing we had no clue, but from experience, I was not about to ask and be told something crazy. As the line moved, she'd get up and kick the "stuff" forward, then she'd get down on her haunches and sort through it again. This went on for most of the shuffling forward. Everyone was looking at her, and me wife with an evil expression on her mug took pictures of this display.

Here you go, the assortment of stuff on the floor at customs.
 
Notice Teddy

Once we were out of customs and had retrieved our baggage, I rented a car for us. I want you to take a particularly good look at it. It's a Dodge Charger, low to the ground and white. Yup. Just keep that in mind for later. Here it is:
 
The ride that would take us 1200 miles around the peninsula

Once out of the parking garage, I had me Tom-Tom and we set off for our hotel. We had no trouble getting there and it was raining. Not a good sign.

Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved

4 comments:

Dew said...

I sympathise with Tonya. There is NO way I would get on a prop plane! And yes Gabe it was all your fault lmao

mobit22 said...

I LOVE airport stories! Especially when I'm not in them!LMAO

mobit22 said...

oh yeah and I don't fly anymore!

Fionnula said...

welcome back! another place I've never been and i know you had a good time. sounds like it started out the pits but i'll bet it gets better. love the seat mate story. weren't you the lucky one lol