The Catnip Junkie

03 May 2012

523

R. Linda:

So, last night I got home, kicked back, and went up to the old loft to enjoy my beer and what did I find stretched out on the daybed? Mr. Kits in his cups . . . AGAIN. Seems he's found the rest of the catnip stash and a way to uncap the stuff, thus zoned out, dicky tummy to boot, decidedly NOT in a good mood cat.

                                                                                

"Not feeling well chappy? Too much catnip, hum?"

I was good, yes I was, I gave him a gentle pat on the back and commiserated with the old boy until he bit me. He was looking decidedly peaked. At first, I didn't know what was happening with him, just that he seemed spaced and I didn't know why. I had put that jar of catnip on the very top shelf of the closet forgetting cats can CLIMB. And he did, up me jumper (sweater) which now has gigantic gaping holes in it and is stretched to the size Andre the Giant would fit in it.

                                                                             

CHOMP!!!

The catnip I found when I went to get my favourite old jumper and noticed the bottom of the closet was green. Yeah looked like someone mowed the lawn in there and left the clippings. At first, I was stymied as to what that stuff was, but then it didn't take long before I realised just what that stuff REALLY WAS. And there he was still sprawled out on the daybed, watching me like don't touch that, IT IS MINE!

The jar itself is missing! How can that be? He didn't eat it so where he's stashed it I have notta clue. I went back and tried again to comfort as well as get it out of him where the rest of the stash was . .  . well stashed!

I tried to move him to look underneath just in case the stash was stashed there

It was more like don't touch me, can't you see I'm Sthick. Yes, sthick is how he says sick. It's catanese. And yes, I speak it! 

                                                                                          

I even tried a little tickling to move his cat butt but that didn't work. the only thing I got was he opened his eyes to see who was messing with him.

I truly do not know what to do with a cat that is a catnip junkie. Do you think it's because he sees me (on occasion) with a beer? Do you think he heard about those artistic brownies? Do you think he was depressed because they batted down the bill for medical Mary Jane in our state yesterday? Or, do you think he's depressed because his favourite person (that would be me) is about to leave him on his own for ten days? I don't know what to do with him he could be floating on the ceiling next from inhaling the stash on the closet floor!

I was told by Tonya, who obviously took these pictures, that to understand MY cat, I should get some cigarette papers, roll up some catnip, light a match, and take a few drags. I told her that stuff was flammable and would take off me face before I got a puff, what was she? Crazy?

Can you see me smoking catnip? I don't smoke for one, so to take a puff of anything, especially THAT stuff, well, I hate to say it, but me face would be as green as that catnip. That could be the problem, is catnip supposed to be green?

Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved