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R. Linda:
A last few more outrageous New Hampshire local news stories and then I'm done. This one had me shaking me head and asking WHY. Mrs. McCoom, a lady in her late seventies, called our local police about . . . I feel rather awkward even writing this out, but I shall bite the bullet and continue, about the fact there was a skunk drinking out of a puddle on Main Street not far from her home on Quincy Road. The idea was that if anyone hit the skunk the smell would stink up her neighbourhood for a good long while and well . . . we just can't have that, can we? What to do in this case? I can see our two maligned officers. "You go take care of this." "Me? Why don't you do it?" "I don't wanna mess with a skunk." Well, probably after a lot of back and forth one of them had a bright idea, he rang up Mrs. McCoom and told her to call the NH Fish and Game people. I have no clue what happened because that's all I was told, but I suspect the skunk was long gone by the time the Fish and Game people were rung up.
But let me tell you one thing, Mrs. McCoom is not a one-time caller to the local constabulary. No, she's chronic. She also called them that a cable wire was hanging low over her road and they needed to do something about it. THEY in turn informed her to call the local cable company and have them fix it. SIGH.
She also rang them about suspicious activity in front of her house. She couldn't rightly tell the minions of the law exactly what was going on as she had broken her glasses and couldn't see all that well, but something of a mysterious nature was going down, and she informed them they needed to drive on over to see for themselves. So they did it all in good time. What they found were subjects selling food items from their truck. For this one, the officers actually took some action because it was found the subjects had no Hawkers and Peddlers Permit. So they issued a warning and advised said subjects how to seek the proper permit. Which brings to mind, just what food products were they selling in front of a private residence when the local market is just up to the right on Main Street?
Another adventure of which Mrs. McC called the police to her home, was to decipher an insurance issue she wasn't quite sure of. These poor men.
But wait she isn't finished, she also rang them up to investigate criminal mischief of her property. She had noticed the outer door to the basement had its hinges off and the screws were missing. The officers located the missing screws and determined they had broken due to age, not criminal activity. Let it be known the house Mrs. McC resides in was built in the 1770s when there were no such things as screws. I tell ya!
Another time Mrs. McC rang was when she was concerned her ex-husband was coming to visit and she did not want him there. The police went over to intercept the man. While awaiting his arrival the ex-husband rang his ex-wife. The police got on the phone with him and advised him not to come over. Then they advised Mrs. McC to give them a ring if he did. Seems all he wanted was his toolbox, something Mrs. McC should have made herself familiar with and used to fix the basement door. Oi!
At the end of our rather snowy winter Mrs. McC must have been bored and having not lodged a complaint in a while, AND because she does not want the local constabulary to sit around on their keisters, she gave them a jingle and informed them that the water was running across her road and was starting to freeze. What they were supposed to do on that one, short of breaking out the ice skates and skating back and forth? I dunno.
Another of her calls was (after seeing the Academy Awards mind you) that there was a black limo parked outside her home and a large crowd of people had gathered round it. Upon arrival, the police could not locate the crowd or the limo. Too much bubbly is all I can say.
Not too long after the limo and freezing water calls, was the time she called that there was a bag in the middle of her road causing autos to swerve. Police were called and they removed the bag of debris from the roadway, while Mrs. McC watched from her front window. You know she could just as easily remove the garbage herself. Gees the woman! She probably thought a body was in the bag. I would have given her a ticket for that. I don't know what kind of ticket but I would have ticketed her anyway. Maybe for wasting town time and resources. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Then there was the tree that fell on the power lines. Don't you think you'd call the PSNH? No, not Mrs. McC her favourite two officers came out and THEY called PSNH. Yup.
The best was when she called about a relative of hers on the other side of town. The relative was estranged but Mrs. McC didn't seem to notice that (could that be the reason she didn't hear from her, duh do you think?). So when she hadn't heard from her in awhile she called you know who and they went to check on the welfare of the relative. The relative was fine and requested that a message be relayed to Mrs. McC that she does not wish to speak with her in the future. Em, hard not to chuckle.
So used to dialling 911 was Mrs. McC that she inadvertently dialled and hung up, but too late the police had got the number on their caller I.D. and responded anyway. How embarrassing.
The last news tidbit I will regale you with is not one of Mrs. McC's but me neighbour on the hill. She called the local police without telling them who she was to request that she wanted her sister's boyfriend removed from her mother's house (she also didn't tell them the boyfriend was her ex-boyfriend). The subject stated she did not live at her mother's house but elsewhere. Our local boys informed her that the boyfriend had permission to be there by the residents of the house and they could not tell him to leave. So THERE!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
A last few more outrageous New Hampshire local news stories and then I'm done. This one had me shaking me head and asking WHY. Mrs. McCoom, a lady in her late seventies, called our local police about . . . I feel rather awkward even writing this out, but I shall bite the bullet and continue, about the fact there was a skunk drinking out of a puddle on Main Street not far from her home on Quincy Road. The idea was that if anyone hit the skunk the smell would stink up her neighbourhood for a good long while and well . . . we just can't have that, can we? What to do in this case? I can see our two maligned officers. "You go take care of this." "Me? Why don't you do it?" "I don't wanna mess with a skunk." Well, probably after a lot of back and forth one of them had a bright idea, he rang up Mrs. McCoom and told her to call the NH Fish and Game people. I have no clue what happened because that's all I was told, but I suspect the skunk was long gone by the time the Fish and Game people were rung up.
But let me tell you one thing, Mrs. McCoom is not a one-time caller to the local constabulary. No, she's chronic. She also called them that a cable wire was hanging low over her road and they needed to do something about it. THEY in turn informed her to call the local cable company and have them fix it. SIGH.
She also rang them about suspicious activity in front of her house. She couldn't rightly tell the minions of the law exactly what was going on as she had broken her glasses and couldn't see all that well, but something of a mysterious nature was going down, and she informed them they needed to drive on over to see for themselves. So they did it all in good time. What they found were subjects selling food items from their truck. For this one, the officers actually took some action because it was found the subjects had no Hawkers and Peddlers Permit. So they issued a warning and advised said subjects how to seek the proper permit. Which brings to mind, just what food products were they selling in front of a private residence when the local market is just up to the right on Main Street?
Another adventure of which Mrs. McC called the police to her home, was to decipher an insurance issue she wasn't quite sure of. These poor men.
But wait she isn't finished, she also rang them up to investigate criminal mischief of her property. She had noticed the outer door to the basement had its hinges off and the screws were missing. The officers located the missing screws and determined they had broken due to age, not criminal activity. Let it be known the house Mrs. McC resides in was built in the 1770s when there were no such things as screws. I tell ya!
Another time Mrs. McC rang was when she was concerned her ex-husband was coming to visit and she did not want him there. The police went over to intercept the man. While awaiting his arrival the ex-husband rang his ex-wife. The police got on the phone with him and advised him not to come over. Then they advised Mrs. McC to give them a ring if he did. Seems all he wanted was his toolbox, something Mrs. McC should have made herself familiar with and used to fix the basement door. Oi!
At the end of our rather snowy winter Mrs. McC must have been bored and having not lodged a complaint in a while, AND because she does not want the local constabulary to sit around on their keisters, she gave them a jingle and informed them that the water was running across her road and was starting to freeze. What they were supposed to do on that one, short of breaking out the ice skates and skating back and forth? I dunno.
Another of her calls was (after seeing the Academy Awards mind you) that there was a black limo parked outside her home and a large crowd of people had gathered round it. Upon arrival, the police could not locate the crowd or the limo. Too much bubbly is all I can say.
Not too long after the limo and freezing water calls, was the time she called that there was a bag in the middle of her road causing autos to swerve. Police were called and they removed the bag of debris from the roadway, while Mrs. McC watched from her front window. You know she could just as easily remove the garbage herself. Gees the woman! She probably thought a body was in the bag. I would have given her a ticket for that. I don't know what kind of ticket but I would have ticketed her anyway. Maybe for wasting town time and resources. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Then there was the tree that fell on the power lines. Don't you think you'd call the PSNH? No, not Mrs. McC her favourite two officers came out and THEY called PSNH. Yup.
The best was when she called about a relative of hers on the other side of town. The relative was estranged but Mrs. McC didn't seem to notice that (could that be the reason she didn't hear from her, duh do you think?). So when she hadn't heard from her in awhile she called you know who and they went to check on the welfare of the relative. The relative was fine and requested that a message be relayed to Mrs. McC that she does not wish to speak with her in the future. Em, hard not to chuckle.
So used to dialling 911 was Mrs. McC that she inadvertently dialled and hung up, but too late the police had got the number on their caller I.D. and responded anyway. How embarrassing.
The last news tidbit I will regale you with is not one of Mrs. McC's but me neighbour on the hill. She called the local police without telling them who she was to request that she wanted her sister's boyfriend removed from her mother's house (she also didn't tell them the boyfriend was her ex-boyfriend). The subject stated she did not live at her mother's house but elsewhere. Our local boys informed her that the boyfriend had permission to be there by the residents of the house and they could not tell him to leave. So THERE!
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
3 comments:
If I see a skunk I shall inform you immediately
Mrs. McC is probably lonely.
LOL Capt! Mrs. McC sounds like the town crazy
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