03 May 2011
395
R. Linda
We decided to take a walk in the woods, you know have the dogs get a stretch and us to enjoy nature and the fine weather. Yup. We hiked quite a ways the boys walking with no problems UNTIL O'Hare stopped and doubled over, his face skyward, all skewed up and red. Tonya asked him what the matter was and he said, "I'm all outta energy."
"Oh come on we are almost there and then we can break out the soda and pretzels, AND your fav sandwich and sit for a while before we turn back."
"I dun wanna. I haf no energy." He whined.
"Come on, man up there sport," I said with a laugh. "You can do this, we're almost there."
"Nooo I'm not gonna haf no energy left ta play on da iPad when we gits back."
OMG. Who is he? Certainly not my child. So to rally him up a wee bit I reminded him he was a superhero (he dresses up like Buzz Lightyear at home and runs around the backyard with a sword. Yes he does.), so I said to him, "Come on Buzz let's do some superhero stuff." I started to run slowly and I looked back around and he stood with his arms crossed over his chest in defiance with a mad look on his face.
There was a puddle so I was jumping back and forth over it saying I was a giant and I was crossing the moat and where was the superhero Buzz to stop me. Of course, the two canines thought this great fun to try nipping at me each time I jumped back and forth. But with O'Hare -- nothing. I nearly wore meself out from doing that and fending off the snapping teeth of the dogs. So hard was me trying to keep from getting bitten, on the last cross over I lost me footing in the mud and . . . yeah I fell in the muddy water and to this, he laughed. I needn't tell you what a muddy soaked mess I was, dogs licking me face while I was down, but it got him moving. He came over pointing and laughing as did Guido who gave out great guffaws that would scare any wild animals, birds, and dogs (ours ran off for a short time until he stopped). Even me wife, who at first was concerned and helped me up started giggling. I be so glad I amuse them so much.
"You dint hav Buzz Lightyear's wings daddy, dats why ya fell in, hahahaha," O'Hare continued.
Yeah right like they'd fit me and make me fly. But he's a kid and I'm a dumb arse, so OK.
We started on, me wet, muddy, and covered in dog slobber, but he did walk to the end of the trail where there be a view because he forgot he was out of energy to run his mouth about me falling in the mud puddle.
We broke out the soda and pretzels (wasn't Tonya nor my idea for that fare, but the kiddos put up a fuss and we naturally caved). But O'Hare, he had to have his newest fav sanny along. It be a drippy greasy mess of a sanny, I dare say, and me Mam would be horrified and I think I can safely say the Dragon would be too, along with our paediatrician. It's peanut butter on toast with strips of bacon. Yeah, yummy! We sat there munching, a slight breeze blowing, and all was well with the world except for the overwhelming smell of peanut butter and bacon, until . . . the black flies smelled the bacon and came over to help O'Hare chow down. Tonya was at first slapping at the baby and Guido had no clue what he had done wrong, so he started crying but it didn't stop her she was still at him, swatting the flies off him, but he didn't know that. Then she started dancing around because something had gone up her shorts and well, that had me trying to hold on to a crying Guido while at the same time holding onto Tonya so she didn't fall from all the wild gyrations she was doing. Meanwhile, O'Hare be munching on his greasy mess of a sanny, flies and all, and looking around at us like we are all morons. He didn't care, he was sitting eating and we were the stupid ones in the family. He sighed when he was done, putting the Ziploc baggy in the tin Tonya had brought to keep the grease from dripping, got up, wiped away the toast crumbs making himself presentable, picked up the tin pail and started off leaving the family circus to catch up. I tell ya if I didn't know better I'd think he was Weasil's kid, not mine!
So we are yelling at O'Hare to wait up and Guido has decided it is time to change clothes. I turned around to see he had pulled his tee shirt up around his neck and was trying with all his might to get it off and over his head.
"What are you doing?" I said trying to get the shirt back on, but he wasn't having any of that, he was too busy trying to get it back off. Well, I won the battle so I started off again and he wasn't coming so I turned around to see he was now pulling his jeans down. I was like what the hell?
"He likes to walk around with no shirt and just a nappy," Tonya said pulling O'Hare to a stop while I pulled jeans back on Guido.
I tell ya, this family hike thing just wasn't working out for me at least. It was becoming more trouble than it was worth because yours truly was not enjoying a moment. I finally had to pick Guido up and carry him under my arm like a sack of potatoes to stop the undressing in the middle of the woods. He put up a fuss like a hornet he wanted down and he wanted down now! So I struggled with him as the dogs returned muddy and rowdy and they were yipping and jumping at his feet which made him laugh. I didn't think it was funny. There I was trying to hustle after Ton and O'Hare carrying Guido and fending off two dogs.
"I dun like dis hikin' stuff!" O'Hare shouted over his shoulder.
"It isn't hiking, it's an adventure. We are on an adventure," me itching wife was saying as she walked behind him.
"I dun like ventures!" He shouted again.
"Did you know, O'Hare, that standing is more tiring than walking?" I threw out at him as I put Guido down since it seemed the undressing was done.
"That's a paradox," Tonya muttered.
"Wherz a pair a ducks?" O'Hare asked looking around.
"No . . . never mind," Tonya said passing him.
"Ima losen my temperature!" O'Hare shouted as she kept on going. "WHERZ DA DUCKS?"
"You know what they say, O'Hare, the best solution for losing your TEMPER is a LONG walk!" She threw at him.
"There are no ducks buddy," I said moving him along. "Your Mam's just irritated at being bitten by bugs."
"But I wanna see da ducks!" He said stamping along.
There was no arguing with him so I lied. "They flew off, sorry," I said and his face got red with anger. He started kicking stones and one bunch went flying in front of him and guess who got hit in the back of the legs? Yes, she did, and she was not happy.
"I got him," I said, catching him back as she started off again. And to him, I said, "Come on let's go, like they say a rolling stone gathers no . . ." I stopped to scoop up Guido because he was examining a rock.
"A rollin' stone gathers no moths!" O'Hare said as he left me trying to get Guido moving forward.
"OK," I said, "And ya can lead a horse to . . . " I stopped again to fetch Guido from another interesting rock.
"Ya can lead a hoss ta manure but ya cant make em' drink it!" O'Hare said as he disappeared down the trail after his mother.
"What?" I said standing there waiting for Guido to pick up the rock so we could bring it home, a real souvenir of a fun day of hiking. Oh yeah. "Give me the rock, I'll carry it," I said and so he threw it at me and hit me good in the forehead. That was it, I picked him up as he screamed for the rock (which wasn't coming with us) and I headed on down the trail after the other two, me Guido and the two dogs.
So I'm home now, I have a large red egg on me head the size of a jumbo. It hurts, and I'm a dirty mess, Tonya is full of bug bites, Guido be asleep in his nappy (yes, he peeled down as soon as he got free of us) and O'Hare be pulling dirt balls off the Newfie and throwing them at the kitchen wall. YUP, fun time in the O'Sullivan family. Remind me not to spend any more outdoor time in leisurely activity. I would rather be mowing the lawn (I never thought I'd say that).
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda
We decided to take a walk in the woods, you know have the dogs get a stretch and us to enjoy nature and the fine weather. Yup. We hiked quite a ways the boys walking with no problems UNTIL O'Hare stopped and doubled over, his face skyward, all skewed up and red. Tonya asked him what the matter was and he said, "I'm all outta energy."
"Oh come on we are almost there and then we can break out the soda and pretzels, AND your fav sandwich and sit for a while before we turn back."
"I dun wanna. I haf no energy." He whined.
"Come on, man up there sport," I said with a laugh. "You can do this, we're almost there."
"Nooo I'm not gonna haf no energy left ta play on da iPad when we gits back."
OMG. Who is he? Certainly not my child. So to rally him up a wee bit I reminded him he was a superhero (he dresses up like Buzz Lightyear at home and runs around the backyard with a sword. Yes he does.), so I said to him, "Come on Buzz let's do some superhero stuff." I started to run slowly and I looked back around and he stood with his arms crossed over his chest in defiance with a mad look on his face.
There was a puddle so I was jumping back and forth over it saying I was a giant and I was crossing the moat and where was the superhero Buzz to stop me. Of course, the two canines thought this great fun to try nipping at me each time I jumped back and forth. But with O'Hare -- nothing. I nearly wore meself out from doing that and fending off the snapping teeth of the dogs. So hard was me trying to keep from getting bitten, on the last cross over I lost me footing in the mud and . . . yeah I fell in the muddy water and to this, he laughed. I needn't tell you what a muddy soaked mess I was, dogs licking me face while I was down, but it got him moving. He came over pointing and laughing as did Guido who gave out great guffaws that would scare any wild animals, birds, and dogs (ours ran off for a short time until he stopped). Even me wife, who at first was concerned and helped me up started giggling. I be so glad I amuse them so much.
"You dint hav Buzz Lightyear's wings daddy, dats why ya fell in, hahahaha," O'Hare continued.
Yeah right like they'd fit me and make me fly. But he's a kid and I'm a dumb arse, so OK.
We started on, me wet, muddy, and covered in dog slobber, but he did walk to the end of the trail where there be a view because he forgot he was out of energy to run his mouth about me falling in the mud puddle.
We broke out the soda and pretzels (wasn't Tonya nor my idea for that fare, but the kiddos put up a fuss and we naturally caved). But O'Hare, he had to have his newest fav sanny along. It be a drippy greasy mess of a sanny, I dare say, and me Mam would be horrified and I think I can safely say the Dragon would be too, along with our paediatrician. It's peanut butter on toast with strips of bacon. Yeah, yummy! We sat there munching, a slight breeze blowing, and all was well with the world except for the overwhelming smell of peanut butter and bacon, until . . . the black flies smelled the bacon and came over to help O'Hare chow down. Tonya was at first slapping at the baby and Guido had no clue what he had done wrong, so he started crying but it didn't stop her she was still at him, swatting the flies off him, but he didn't know that. Then she started dancing around because something had gone up her shorts and well, that had me trying to hold on to a crying Guido while at the same time holding onto Tonya so she didn't fall from all the wild gyrations she was doing. Meanwhile, O'Hare be munching on his greasy mess of a sanny, flies and all, and looking around at us like we are all morons. He didn't care, he was sitting eating and we were the stupid ones in the family. He sighed when he was done, putting the Ziploc baggy in the tin Tonya had brought to keep the grease from dripping, got up, wiped away the toast crumbs making himself presentable, picked up the tin pail and started off leaving the family circus to catch up. I tell ya if I didn't know better I'd think he was Weasil's kid, not mine!
So we are yelling at O'Hare to wait up and Guido has decided it is time to change clothes. I turned around to see he had pulled his tee shirt up around his neck and was trying with all his might to get it off and over his head.
"What are you doing?" I said trying to get the shirt back on, but he wasn't having any of that, he was too busy trying to get it back off. Well, I won the battle so I started off again and he wasn't coming so I turned around to see he was now pulling his jeans down. I was like what the hell?
"He likes to walk around with no shirt and just a nappy," Tonya said pulling O'Hare to a stop while I pulled jeans back on Guido.
I tell ya, this family hike thing just wasn't working out for me at least. It was becoming more trouble than it was worth because yours truly was not enjoying a moment. I finally had to pick Guido up and carry him under my arm like a sack of potatoes to stop the undressing in the middle of the woods. He put up a fuss like a hornet he wanted down and he wanted down now! So I struggled with him as the dogs returned muddy and rowdy and they were yipping and jumping at his feet which made him laugh. I didn't think it was funny. There I was trying to hustle after Ton and O'Hare carrying Guido and fending off two dogs.
"I dun like dis hikin' stuff!" O'Hare shouted over his shoulder.
"It isn't hiking, it's an adventure. We are on an adventure," me itching wife was saying as she walked behind him.
"I dun like ventures!" He shouted again.
"Did you know, O'Hare, that standing is more tiring than walking?" I threw out at him as I put Guido down since it seemed the undressing was done.
"That's a paradox," Tonya muttered.
"Wherz a pair a ducks?" O'Hare asked looking around.
"No . . . never mind," Tonya said passing him.
"Ima losen my temperature!" O'Hare shouted as she kept on going. "WHERZ DA DUCKS?"
"You know what they say, O'Hare, the best solution for losing your TEMPER is a LONG walk!" She threw at him.
"There are no ducks buddy," I said moving him along. "Your Mam's just irritated at being bitten by bugs."
"But I wanna see da ducks!" He said stamping along.
There was no arguing with him so I lied. "They flew off, sorry," I said and his face got red with anger. He started kicking stones and one bunch went flying in front of him and guess who got hit in the back of the legs? Yes, she did, and she was not happy.
"I got him," I said, catching him back as she started off again. And to him, I said, "Come on let's go, like they say a rolling stone gathers no . . ." I stopped to scoop up Guido because he was examining a rock.
"A rollin' stone gathers no moths!" O'Hare said as he left me trying to get Guido moving forward.
"OK," I said, "And ya can lead a horse to . . . " I stopped again to fetch Guido from another interesting rock.
"Ya can lead a hoss ta manure but ya cant make em' drink it!" O'Hare said as he disappeared down the trail after his mother.
"What?" I said standing there waiting for Guido to pick up the rock so we could bring it home, a real souvenir of a fun day of hiking. Oh yeah. "Give me the rock, I'll carry it," I said and so he threw it at me and hit me good in the forehead. That was it, I picked him up as he screamed for the rock (which wasn't coming with us) and I headed on down the trail after the other two, me Guido and the two dogs.
So I'm home now, I have a large red egg on me head the size of a jumbo. It hurts, and I'm a dirty mess, Tonya is full of bug bites, Guido be asleep in his nappy (yes, he peeled down as soon as he got free of us) and O'Hare be pulling dirt balls off the Newfie and throwing them at the kitchen wall. YUP, fun time in the O'Sullivan family. Remind me not to spend any more outdoor time in leisurely activity. I would rather be mowing the lawn (I never thought I'd say that).
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
5 comments:
I have heard of some strange concoctions, but peanut butter and bacon? Yuck! Did Weasil teach him that? LOL
My son ate that mess until he was 4. no bread, peanut butter mixed with Caro or honey in a container. bacon on the side. so gross!
SO did he grow up to be a great fat kid? Because if he did I want pictures to show O'Hare to make him stop.
LMAO No he didn't. Oh and he didn't learn to like vegetables until about 5 or 6 years ago. I don't know if you know how old he is? but he's about Peter Pan's age plus almost 3! Believe it or not, they DO grow out of the strange food age. My son hated peas, and if you hid a single pea in his food, he'd find it. Didn't like green round veggies. go figure.LMAO
gotz ta try me a peanutbutter n panchetta sanny. hey gabe yer got mini max on yer hands
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