30 April 2011
Story #394
R. Linda:
Well, well, well, the big day was yesterday, but me being fresh off a plane, slept through it. BUT me wife decided since I'm from the UK, I'd not want to miss a moment of the wonder of it all, SO she recorded the entire Royal Wedding for me. YUP, all 24 hours worth! I didn't get to bed until 3 a.m. last night since I was forced to smile through a longgg programme with a bunch of people who occupied me country for yearsss like I was enjoying it. I didn't enjoy me own wedding (and please don't tell the wife that) when one be witness to some poor chump being chained to a woman who looks like a catch until she gets you over the threshold, and she turns into Godzilla, well it is painful watching, yes it was.
So on she flicks the telly, and there it is, ABC, GMA, not with the usual suspects but Diane Sawyer and David Muir. I was like, huh? I turned to the wife and said, "What happened to the BBC coverage? Don't you think a Brit wedding covered by Brits would be more the thing?" No, she hadn't given that a thought. She just tunes into ABC as a force of habit, so lucky us.
I was surprised to see Babs Walters sitting next to Diane Sawyer, and Diane wasn't going to let Barbara have any airtime if she could help it. Every time Walters opened her mouth, Sawyer talked right over her, and I was surprised Babs let her do it. Then, have you noticed this lately? Diane lights up like a Christmas tree when she sees David Muir, who, for his own part, gets all animated like he's thinking, goody-goody, I'm sitting next to Diane, the big honcho of the evening news, I keep making up to her, and I will have her job! YUP. I noticed that a few times and wondered what was happening between them. Does Mike Nichols see this and not wonder?
So the only GMA correspondent covering this was Robin Roberts who was sitting outside in the back of Buckingham Palace with a Brit token correspondent Tina Brown and well, when someone was coming through the gates, they were both sitting with their backs to the camera gawking, and instead of the viewer getting a really good view of what they were looking at, we got an on the ground shot with Nick Watts with flags in the camera lens and blurry people waving them. So God knows what we missed. And poor Nick had found two Americans, one with a stupid red sparkly monkey hat (yeah, the kind you see on hurdy gurdy monkeys) on her head and another who kept ducking because she was feeling silly answering his rather foolish questions. I was thinking, America, do you know what you look like to the rest of the world doing that?
Meanwhile, Barbara was talking about the late Princess Diana as if she were a saint. I remember quite well the craziness that was Diana for a number of years, so saint doesn't cut it for me. What was starting to rankle me was the fact that Diana was all Barbara wanted to talk about. It was like name-dropping central. I said to me wife, "But it isn't Diana's day; it is Kate's!" Yes, yours truly was getting slightly agitated.
Then up would come a shot of London, next to that, Orlando, Florida. Underneath those two screenshots, two other American cities, and it was like watching the finals on American Idol, where they cut to the finalists in their respective cities. I was confused! I wondered what Orlando had to do with London, and then I saw the little girls and their mams dressed up like the Easter parade. I be so sorry the women of America don't know a garden hat from a Philip Treacy original. I know of him because he be IRISH. The camera would pan to the Americans dressed in garden hats and wrinkled gowns. I guess they thought that since Diana's wedding dress was a crinkled mess, that was what you wear to a royal wedding. Oi! While Tonya thought it was cute, I was embarrassed for all of them. Then the camera would pan to the well-heeled guests in London, and again I was thinking, America, I'm embarrassed again for you! What could be sadder than everyone dressed up for a wedding they aren't invited to? I know it was a mother-daughter bonding moment, but it was pathetic.
So we were drawn back to Sawyer telling us that six to ten elongated vans were pulling out of Buckingham Palace, and they were filled with people dressed to the nines, and they were. She said these were "servants" that Prince Wils invited. I be looking and seeing quite a few military-style jackets with gold braiding and mega metals, and I'm wondering when the "servants" raided the Prince's closet. So they follow with the cameras, these silver vans all the way to Westminster (called the Abbey by Sawyer and company, we always referred to it as Westminster, but Americans!), and the people in the vans get out. They are mostly old people left to wander around the perimeter of the outside doorway until one of them adjusts glasses and sees there is a large doorway, and they shuffle en masse. Again, I was struck by the rather regal bearing of this group of "servants" when Sawyer or Walters (one of them) says, "Isn't that the Duke of Kent and his wife?" Well, I be sure the honourable Duke of Kent will be happy to know he, his wife, and the rest of the group were mistaken for SERVANTS by the powerful Sawyer team for ABC News, American Television. YUP. Now the military uniforms made sense, and the better-dressed women made sense because, as Tonya so rightly commented, "The Queen must pay well, those dresses look expensive and forget the shoes!" Well . . . ?
It got worse because Sawyer and Walters now referred to the Duke and the rest of the royal cousins as "lesser royals!" Let's add insult to injury, shall we? Oi! I never heard that term before. I wonder who came up with that.
I will say that the Kennedy clan used long vans to transport the entire crew of Kennedys, including the lesser Kennedys, to Teddy's funeral, and no one called them the servants because they weren't in limos. So what's the deal? Does anyone know?
After this faux pas, everyone on the GMA team started talking at once. I had no clue what was going on; they were so annoying. At one point Sawyer is rambling on over someone else when she asks British royal India Hicks a question. Well, Hicks was mulling over the answer and I suppose wasn't fast enough in answering as Americans are zippy with their replies, that Sawyer comments the crowd must be loud so India can't hear her. But in the background one can hear Ms. Hicks saying, "I hear you, I can hear you. May I answer?" And Sawyer is ignoring her and this went on for at least two minutes with Ms. Hicks in the background repeating, "I can hear you." Oi!
The best was when the two trolls were seen in one of the palace motors (that would be Princesses Eugenia and Beatrice). These two, it was reported by Sawyer and team, were pissed their mum Fergie had not been invited to the nuptials. Knowing how much the Queen hated Philip Treacy hats and made some comment about "Do not wear one," these two decided, since they would be sitting right behind the Queen, well, they'd don one each of the most outlandish designs Treacy could come up with. One looked like a masticated pretzel, and the blue one I can't begin to describe. But worse was when they exited the motor and you got a gander at what they were wearing. The British correspondent Brown (sitting with Robin Roberts, back to the cameras) chirps, "Oh, don't they look lovely?" Uh, no, they looked repulsive like two fat pigs stuffed into gaudy sausage casings with stupid hats or what was to pass for a hat anyway. I looked at Tonya and said, "Is it me?" She shook her head and said, "No, they look beastly to me too. Lovely is not a word I'd use. Garish, maybe."
After more shots of the guests arriving, the Diana cheering section of Sawyer and Walters took on "Camilla Parker-Bowles," and they kept repeating that name until finally, they said, "Oh, the Duchess of Cornwall, we can't call her Camilla Parker-Bowles anymore." DUH, do you think? I was like, let it go, ladies. The past is the past.
Next up, which shocked me, was the appearance of Pippa Middleton. Get that girl, Prince Harry, for a husband, will you please! I thought the dress was way over the top for a wedding and to be honest with you, I couldn't take me eyes off her backside. The bride paled by comparison. Tonya even said, "Whoa, look at her!" All the way down the aisle, we kept remarking on THE dress, not the wedding dress, the Maid of Honour's dress. Va va va boom!
Oh, before I forget, David Beckham... and wife Posh. David was dressed as if he were Count Dracula. He would have looked very nice except for the medal of honour on the wrong side of his coat! That medal was inappropriate, and I had to wonder whose idea THAT was. Of course, the tats sticking out were so attractive, NOT! Victoria's face would crack if she even tried to smile. She looked like it was the most painful place to be, grumpy puss.
The Prince looked extremely tired and rather old. They kept referring to him as one of the most handsome men in the world, and well, I don't think so. Harry be so much better-looking. And it wasn't only me who thought that. Me neighbour Lois just said she thought the frog was supposed to turn into a prince, not the other way around. Ouch!
We also thought Kate looked exhausted. The poor thing looked like she wanted to sleep in the worst way. I do give her kudos for acting more royal than anyone there. She knows when to smile, and she looks genuine. Everyone else, not so much. The word 'stiff' comes to mind.
Lastly, after the wedding, me wife was very upset that Prince Wils didn't let Catherine into the carriage first. I said to her there was a very good reason for that. But I didn't get to tell her why until the camera later showed the Queen and Prince Philip about to get into another carriage. The Queen gestured for Philip to get in (it was apparent her shoes must have hurt and she wanted to go home), and finally, the 90-year-old geezer attempted the carriage, not once, not twice, but by the third attempt to climb inside, the camera cut away; it was very embarrassing to watch. I turned to Tonya, who looked at me with big eyes, trying not to laugh at the old man. "Do you think they cut away because the Queen put her foot on his ass and shoved him in?" She asked.
I said, "You saw how much the carriage tipped when he tried to get in? For a woman to do that would make her appear clumsy and fat, so the man gets in to balance the carriage on the other side, so when the woman gets in, the tip is minimal."
"Ohhh, that makes sense," she giggled, but she was still thinking of her image of the Queen's foot.
So we stopped watching because next up was the KISS or kisses, and the ladies of Sawyer's team were all about THAT, as was Nick Watt. NICKY WHY? Anyway, I could take no more of Walter's Diana talk, and so we left the carriage ride back to Buckingham. Me wife wants to continue the torture tonight, but I don't. I have to blind meself or at the very least lose me hearing before tonight. So I be off to figure something out to get me from this awful plan of hers.
A few pics from a friend of the wedding are included.
R. Linda:
Well, well, well, the big day was yesterday, but me being fresh off a plane, slept through it. BUT me wife decided since I'm from the UK, I'd not want to miss a moment of the wonder of it all, SO she recorded the entire Royal Wedding for me. YUP, all 24 hours worth! I didn't get to bed until 3 a.m. last night since I was forced to smile through a longgg programme with a bunch of people who occupied me country for yearsss like I was enjoying it. I didn't enjoy me own wedding (and please don't tell the wife that) when one be witness to some poor chump being chained to a woman who looks like a catch until she gets you over the threshold, and she turns into Godzilla, well it is painful watching, yes it was.
So on she flicks the telly, and there it is, ABC, GMA, not with the usual suspects but Diane Sawyer and David Muir. I was like, huh? I turned to the wife and said, "What happened to the BBC coverage? Don't you think a Brit wedding covered by Brits would be more the thing?" No, she hadn't given that a thought. She just tunes into ABC as a force of habit, so lucky us.
I was surprised to see Babs Walters sitting next to Diane Sawyer, and Diane wasn't going to let Barbara have any airtime if she could help it. Every time Walters opened her mouth, Sawyer talked right over her, and I was surprised Babs let her do it. Then, have you noticed this lately? Diane lights up like a Christmas tree when she sees David Muir, who, for his own part, gets all animated like he's thinking, goody-goody, I'm sitting next to Diane, the big honcho of the evening news, I keep making up to her, and I will have her job! YUP. I noticed that a few times and wondered what was happening between them. Does Mike Nichols see this and not wonder?
So the only GMA correspondent covering this was Robin Roberts who was sitting outside in the back of Buckingham Palace with a Brit token correspondent Tina Brown and well, when someone was coming through the gates, they were both sitting with their backs to the camera gawking, and instead of the viewer getting a really good view of what they were looking at, we got an on the ground shot with Nick Watts with flags in the camera lens and blurry people waving them. So God knows what we missed. And poor Nick had found two Americans, one with a stupid red sparkly monkey hat (yeah, the kind you see on hurdy gurdy monkeys) on her head and another who kept ducking because she was feeling silly answering his rather foolish questions. I was thinking, America, do you know what you look like to the rest of the world doing that?
Meanwhile, Barbara was talking about the late Princess Diana as if she were a saint. I remember quite well the craziness that was Diana for a number of years, so saint doesn't cut it for me. What was starting to rankle me was the fact that Diana was all Barbara wanted to talk about. It was like name-dropping central. I said to me wife, "But it isn't Diana's day; it is Kate's!" Yes, yours truly was getting slightly agitated.
Then up would come a shot of London, next to that, Orlando, Florida. Underneath those two screenshots, two other American cities, and it was like watching the finals on American Idol, where they cut to the finalists in their respective cities. I was confused! I wondered what Orlando had to do with London, and then I saw the little girls and their mams dressed up like the Easter parade. I be so sorry the women of America don't know a garden hat from a Philip Treacy original. I know of him because he be IRISH. The camera would pan to the Americans dressed in garden hats and wrinkled gowns. I guess they thought that since Diana's wedding dress was a crinkled mess, that was what you wear to a royal wedding. Oi! While Tonya thought it was cute, I was embarrassed for all of them. Then the camera would pan to the well-heeled guests in London, and again I was thinking, America, I'm embarrassed again for you! What could be sadder than everyone dressed up for a wedding they aren't invited to? I know it was a mother-daughter bonding moment, but it was pathetic.
So we were drawn back to Sawyer telling us that six to ten elongated vans were pulling out of Buckingham Palace, and they were filled with people dressed to the nines, and they were. She said these were "servants" that Prince Wils invited. I be looking and seeing quite a few military-style jackets with gold braiding and mega metals, and I'm wondering when the "servants" raided the Prince's closet. So they follow with the cameras, these silver vans all the way to Westminster (called the Abbey by Sawyer and company, we always referred to it as Westminster, but Americans!), and the people in the vans get out. They are mostly old people left to wander around the perimeter of the outside doorway until one of them adjusts glasses and sees there is a large doorway, and they shuffle en masse. Again, I was struck by the rather regal bearing of this group of "servants" when Sawyer or Walters (one of them) says, "Isn't that the Duke of Kent and his wife?" Well, I be sure the honourable Duke of Kent will be happy to know he, his wife, and the rest of the group were mistaken for SERVANTS by the powerful Sawyer team for ABC News, American Television. YUP. Now the military uniforms made sense, and the better-dressed women made sense because, as Tonya so rightly commented, "The Queen must pay well, those dresses look expensive and forget the shoes!" Well . . . ?
It got worse because Sawyer and Walters now referred to the Duke and the rest of the royal cousins as "lesser royals!" Let's add insult to injury, shall we? Oi! I never heard that term before. I wonder who came up with that.
I will say that the Kennedy clan used long vans to transport the entire crew of Kennedys, including the lesser Kennedys, to Teddy's funeral, and no one called them the servants because they weren't in limos. So what's the deal? Does anyone know?
After this faux pas, everyone on the GMA team started talking at once. I had no clue what was going on; they were so annoying. At one point Sawyer is rambling on over someone else when she asks British royal India Hicks a question. Well, Hicks was mulling over the answer and I suppose wasn't fast enough in answering as Americans are zippy with their replies, that Sawyer comments the crowd must be loud so India can't hear her. But in the background one can hear Ms. Hicks saying, "I hear you, I can hear you. May I answer?" And Sawyer is ignoring her and this went on for at least two minutes with Ms. Hicks in the background repeating, "I can hear you." Oi!
The best was when the two trolls were seen in one of the palace motors (that would be Princesses Eugenia and Beatrice). These two, it was reported by Sawyer and team, were pissed their mum Fergie had not been invited to the nuptials. Knowing how much the Queen hated Philip Treacy hats and made some comment about "Do not wear one," these two decided, since they would be sitting right behind the Queen, well, they'd don one each of the most outlandish designs Treacy could come up with. One looked like a masticated pretzel, and the blue one I can't begin to describe. But worse was when they exited the motor and you got a gander at what they were wearing. The British correspondent Brown (sitting with Robin Roberts, back to the cameras) chirps, "Oh, don't they look lovely?" Uh, no, they looked repulsive like two fat pigs stuffed into gaudy sausage casings with stupid hats or what was to pass for a hat anyway. I looked at Tonya and said, "Is it me?" She shook her head and said, "No, they look beastly to me too. Lovely is not a word I'd use. Garish, maybe."
After more shots of the guests arriving, the Diana cheering section of Sawyer and Walters took on "Camilla Parker-Bowles," and they kept repeating that name until finally, they said, "Oh, the Duchess of Cornwall, we can't call her Camilla Parker-Bowles anymore." DUH, do you think? I was like, let it go, ladies. The past is the past.
Next up, which shocked me, was the appearance of Pippa Middleton. Get that girl, Prince Harry, for a husband, will you please! I thought the dress was way over the top for a wedding and to be honest with you, I couldn't take me eyes off her backside. The bride paled by comparison. Tonya even said, "Whoa, look at her!" All the way down the aisle, we kept remarking on THE dress, not the wedding dress, the Maid of Honour's dress. Va va va boom!
Oh, before I forget, David Beckham... and wife Posh. David was dressed as if he were Count Dracula. He would have looked very nice except for the medal of honour on the wrong side of his coat! That medal was inappropriate, and I had to wonder whose idea THAT was. Of course, the tats sticking out were so attractive, NOT! Victoria's face would crack if she even tried to smile. She looked like it was the most painful place to be, grumpy puss.
The Prince looked extremely tired and rather old. They kept referring to him as one of the most handsome men in the world, and well, I don't think so. Harry be so much better-looking. And it wasn't only me who thought that. Me neighbour Lois just said she thought the frog was supposed to turn into a prince, not the other way around. Ouch!
We also thought Kate looked exhausted. The poor thing looked like she wanted to sleep in the worst way. I do give her kudos for acting more royal than anyone there. She knows when to smile, and she looks genuine. Everyone else, not so much. The word 'stiff' comes to mind.
Lastly, after the wedding, me wife was very upset that Prince Wils didn't let Catherine into the carriage first. I said to her there was a very good reason for that. But I didn't get to tell her why until the camera later showed the Queen and Prince Philip about to get into another carriage. The Queen gestured for Philip to get in (it was apparent her shoes must have hurt and she wanted to go home), and finally, the 90-year-old geezer attempted the carriage, not once, not twice, but by the third attempt to climb inside, the camera cut away; it was very embarrassing to watch. I turned to Tonya, who looked at me with big eyes, trying not to laugh at the old man. "Do you think they cut away because the Queen put her foot on his ass and shoved him in?" She asked.
I said, "You saw how much the carriage tipped when he tried to get in? For a woman to do that would make her appear clumsy and fat, so the man gets in to balance the carriage on the other side, so when the woman gets in, the tip is minimal."
"Ohhh, that makes sense," she giggled, but she was still thinking of her image of the Queen's foot.
So we stopped watching because next up was the KISS or kisses, and the ladies of Sawyer's team were all about THAT, as was Nick Watt. NICKY WHY? Anyway, I could take no more of Walter's Diana talk, and so we left the carriage ride back to Buckingham. Me wife wants to continue the torture tonight, but I don't. I have to blind meself or at the very least lose me hearing before tonight. So I be off to figure something out to get me from this awful plan of hers.
A few pics from a friend of the wedding are included.
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| Prince Charles & Camilla |
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| Prince Phillip & Queen at the royal wedding |
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| Catherine and Wils |
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| Prince Harry |
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
Typical male
ReplyDeleteNo comment or rather alot but best I keep them to meself.
ReplyDeleteNow tell us how you really feel Gabe :)
ReplyDeleteWe saw some of the Sawyer mishaps and cardinal rule of any presenter: never turn your back on camera. Besides this faux pas by her entire team, Ms. Sawyer has the unique fault of repeating (like an elementary school teacher) whatever is said by someone else. It is condescendingly done, as if we didn't get it the first time, and she's making sure whatever it was is reinforced in our meager brains. At times her repeating end phrases borders on disbelief of whatever the story is, Diane is skeptical as she repeats the end line, thus her viewership should be as well. There are times though, I get the distinct impression she's looking to take credit for something another reporter said so she jumps in and usually gets it wrong. I notice her 'anchor in training', David Muir, is starting to do the same thing. To both I say in the 'Diane way', Diane and David ... your backs to the camera ... were unprofessional ... and David, ... mobile phones don't take good videos over 200 yards away. And for us here in London ... we bid you a ... good night ... and hope you correct your mistakes.
ReplyDeleteYou have to remember, these are the people who couldn't get Obama and Osama right. You don't have to be smart, just LOOK smart. AND be able to read.
ReplyDeleteWell, seems reading and repeating are the problem Muse.
ReplyDelete