What's the matter with the dog?

15 March 2011

375

R. Linda:

I gotta tell ya, sometimes it's the baby of the family you must watch. None of this beware the eldest business; it just doesn't apply. At least in me abode, it doesn't.

So, because I worked on Sunday, I had a weekday off, and this was it. I thought it would be a leisurely day, and since I haven't seen me kiddos much (work schedule has been a bear), we decided to keep them home so I could get in quality time. Tonya had the morning off, so it was lovely to get up, have a hot cup of coffee, enjoy the smell of a good, wholesome Irish breakfast being made up and do not much else UNTIL the dog started her yaking.

Every weekend, she does this, and it drives me up a pole it does. It's the setter, the Newfie not so much. Me neighbours can hear her, and the dog is barking at nothing, just the joy of barking. Well, last weekend, when I was working, Lois and Chemical Al came up to complain to me wife. She shut the Barkster (as we refer to her, but her name is Barkey) in the house and when she had to go out, she had to put the leash on and walk her, thus ensuring none of the barking stuff.

This took time away from her day, and she was not happy because Barkey is a strong setter, she be. She walks YOU. You don't walk her. Actually, she runs you be more correct. She's miles out in front, and when she starts running, it is best to just drop the leash unless you want to be dragged down a stony driveway. Put her on a short leash, and it's like hauling wood to keep her in check. You aren't always successful. On one such run down the driveway, my wife was screaming for Barkey to stop, but no, that dog was too busy on a scent (or so she'd have you think), when me old neighbour heard all the ruckus and came out of his barn to see the Barkster in full lope with me wife in full gallop screaming behind her. So he steps out and snags Barkey by the collar, and me wife pulls up so grateful. She tells him her problem, and he suggests a bark collar.

"Oh no, that's cruel," I couldn't do that.

"Well, let me tell ya, it ain't cruel at all. There is a low pulse, which gives a vibration; then you have one that gives a vibration with sound, and then the one you probably wouldn't use is the light shock. I trained my beagle on that, and it worked perfectly. Now, if he starts up, all I have to do is get the collar on him, and he shuts up. I haven't had to use the control but twice. You've got a young dog there. She'll pick it up quick. Here, let me show you I have it right here."

And so he took her into the barn and let her feel the vibration, the vibration with a noise and the wee shock.

"Oh, that's nothing," Tonya said, impressed.

"Well, on your hand, it isn't, but you don't want that shock on your neck, and I'd refrain from ever usin' it." He said.

"Hum. Well, maybe I'll pick one of those up." Tonya mused, but he was happy to lend her his. So he showed her how to use it, and they put it on Barkey, who hadn't a clue.

"Now Tonya, when you start home, if she starts that runnin' on ya, just give her the vibration. That'll get her attention, and you tell her to walk." He instructed.

"OK," she smiled, very happy and confident. As it happened, right to form, Barkey took off; before she could pull Tonya's arm out of the socket, she could press vibrate and shout "Walk!" and wowey, wow wow, the Barkster stopped. And looked around, like, what was that? As soon as she was done figuring out what it was, she took another leap forward and got another vibration and shout-out. She stopped again; she wasn't so sure. Tonya said, "You could see that dog thinking; she just wasn't sure, but she figured it out." And they got home at a leisurely pace for a change.

So this weekend, when I wasn't home, Barkey was out barking up the usual storm. Tonya called dumb arse in, and of course, thinking treats, stupid came in and was rewarded with the bark collar. Out she went again, and right off, "Barrrrrr woooooff wooof wooof wooof!" And zap with the vibration. Again, instantly stopped and looked around like what was that? It took three more vibrations before she got it.

Tonya was very proud of her and Barkey. So we are on the way to solving a loud, incessant barking problem without shocking. The vibration is just enough, as our neighbour said it would be.

So this morning, Tonya let the dogs out and what happens almost instantly? Yup, Barkey is at it, "Brrrrrr woooooffff wooof wooof wooof!" Tonya calls stupid in and you'd think by now Barkey would be savvy to this, but no, in she lurveys, and collar strapped on and out she goes and barks. Tonya presses the button, Barkey stops, looks around and then resumes her doggy duty. Meanwhile, the wife is sitting on the porch laughing at her with the cat.

Well, this ensured yours truly a very fine QUIET brekkie it did. It was also a nice day, so after showering and getting dressed, I took meself out on the back porch and sat with another cup of joe and me newspaper. The birds were chirping, and it was so spring-like I just sat back and enjoyed being out there. The dogs were romping in the yard, playing with a rubber ball while Mr. Kits sat on the railing, giving himself a good wash. The boyos were in watching cartoons, and Tonya was getting ready for work. Yes, life was good until I noticed the setter acting strangely. She was running after the ball and just about to grab it away from the Newfie when she jumped. The Newfie was happy; she got the ball more often than usual because Barkey was jumping like a frog and paying no attention to the game.

I thought, what be wrong with that dog? She'd be sniffing on the ground, looking for a scent, and then suddenly jump a mile and yelp. Then she'd start off again, get five feet, and the same thing would happen. Well, this was going on so much I was starting to think she was having convulsions. I got up to go in and ask Tonya to come watch this strangeness when I noticed, standing maybe three feet behind where I was sitting, was Guido with the control for the bark collar. He pressed the button, and I heard YELP, and I knew instantly why the dog was jumping around. OH MY GOD! I grabbed it away and put it up, gave him a swat on the rear and sent him inside, him crying like I had beat the daylights out of him when all it was was a gentle tap on the butt. I went and got the dog, took the collar off and brought her up on the porch to make sure she was alright. Well, she is. She probably won't play ball again, but the barking? Uh yeah, that's still going on.

Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved