24 March, 2011

Sounds Vaguely Like Someone We Know

24 March 2011
381

R. Linda:

This little ditty came over the wire from the Irish Examiner, and I thought it would interest you. The other day, we got notice that police in County Limerick were searching high and low for a thief with an unusual description. She was described as a "hefty blond lady." Yup. She's a tall one, said to be in her twenties, and for a "lady," she has extraordinary strength!

Here be how the story goes: It seems this tall, hefty, twenty-something, blond lady, with unbelievable strength, drove over to Moss the Farmer's Spar Shot located in Abbeyfeale, just before 6 p.m. on a Wednesday. A busy day for the supermarket. Yes, she did, and in plain sight of everyone inside, she burgled four bottles of propane gas for herself, and we know how heavy those canisters are! But get this: she hauled them onto the roof rack of her motor. She's more a man than me; I can tell ya that much! And then, without looking back, she drove off with her stash.

James Harnett, the owner of the place, was stunned. "She drove right in front of the shop and the CCTV cameras. The cameras showed she had driven past a few minutes earlier and drove up a cul-de-sac before returning. She parked about 20 feet from the bottled gas and lifted them up with no bother. She was gone so quickly that she had left before we realised she hadn't paid for the gas. The cylinders cost over 30 each, and the fill of gas about 30, so the total loss is about 240."

She absconded with about $340 buckaroos of propane!

After the Irish Police were told this, they posted a wanted person alert on the internal IPS (Intell Pulse System), describing the thief as a "hefty blond lady." Imagine that.

Harnett added, "She lifted the four drums onto the roof rack and drove off without paying. It would have taken considerable effort, and she must have been a fairly strong person. She was there just a few minutes before driving off. We have all the bottles chained now."

So far, the Limerick Police are still searching for this person of remarkable strength.

I know you are thinking the same thing as me. A tall, blond lady with remarkable capabilities in the strength department equals someone named Weasil. Only problem, unless he was wearing a fat suit, his skinny arse must be counted out. Where is he anyway? Haven't heard from him in a wee while. Hum. He wouldn't have donned a dress and a wig, would he? Just the hefty part doesn't fit. Would there be a reward for the apprehension of this 'hefty, blond lady'? LMAO

Gabe
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2 comments:

mobit22 said...

HEY WEASIL! YOU HAVING A BARBECUE? CAN WE COME?

Weaz said...

hee-hee