12 March 2011
371
R. Linda:
Well, the wife was under the weather she was, had the sniffles and was medicated to the back teeth, so she was walking around in a haze looking for the tissues, sneezing and coughing, it was a sight to behold. She had on her fleecy bathrobe, and fuzzy slippers and her hair was sticking out like tarantulas on her head. I did all I could in the tea and light meal department, ran to the store for tissues, Dayquil, nasal spray, you name it I got it.
The kiddos were driving her crazy, and the noise was well beyond the normal decibel level in our house. For some reason when they know someone isn't feeling well, they ratchet it up a few notches to where you find yourself screaming for silence and well that only adds to the ongoing chaos and while the noise level comes down for a while, you can hear your scream still echoing off the walls. It can be enough to drive you to drink if you weren't on so much medication!
Guido, our smallest was not so much the problem, he was happy throwing things and standing there looking at the destruction, with a careful eye cut to the nearest adult to see if that adult was disproving or not. If not, it was throw another until adult supervision came into play and the throw the toy game was over. The other one, O'Hare, was outfitted in his Buzz Lightyear power pack and running around with Buzz's toy gun that made a hell of a lot of noise, different noises as well, and flashed red lights all over the place, temporarily blinding any adult who happened to be on the search for tissues.
Near tears, the wife was from all this. She was achy, her head hurt, and her ears were mercifully closing, could I at least take O'Hare someplace for a few hours so she could get some rest? It was almost Guido's nap time, and that would help a lot. Well, I asked O'Hare what he'd like to do and he said "movie."
This was good with the wife, take him to see Gnomeo and Juliet said she. I was thinking to meself I did not want to be sitting for two hours watching gnomes. No, no, no. Then take him to see Rainbow, whatever that was. Sounded like a cartoon, I be not a cartoon fan. So, to make this easy I said to her, we were off to see what was playing and we'd be back after dinner, yes I'd take the young guy out for that too, give her another hour or so of peace and quiet.
So off we went. I had put O'Hare's car seat in me Saturn and strapped him in, and off we started when I heard SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! I look in the rear view and he's snapping the seat belt. I told him to stop. He said, "It's an accident, I didn't mean to do it."
Well, OK. A few minutes later, SNAP, SNAP. I look back there and he sees me look and says in a guilty mutter, "accident." And so about three minutes later, SNAP, SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! I pulled over and turned around and with me finger pointing at him, I told him in no uncertain terms I be not happy with him. He looked at me with guilt written all over him and his lower lip protruding in a puss face. I turned around and we started off again when I heard him say, "YOU hurt my feelings!" OMG, it was hard not to laugh. I did tell him that if he does it again, I'll hurt more than his feelings. I know, I know Supernanny would chide me for that, but really, once an accident, two more times, no accident.
We get to the multi-complex cinema and go inside to see what's playing. Rango. That's the one, no asking the kid, I bought us tickets, got him a medium coke, popcorn for the two of us and in we went. We are sitting there and after a few minutes, I think me eyesight be doing strange things. I be seeing flashes of red, blue and green lights and I have no clue where it is coming from. I sat there deep in unsettled thought over this while he was swinging his feet hitting the chair making noise. I told him he couldn't do that once the movie started and it was filling up with mostly adults (well, in truth it was adult animation) and he settled in not banging his shoes on the chair, but the legs still going.
The theatre got dark and the previews came on and he told me he needed to use the restroom. For joi! So up we get and we go and he does his business and we come back and as we come into the dark theatre there it is again! The flashing lights only brighter. We sat down and I was looking around and I had no clue what be causing the flashes. The movie starts and the man sitting behind me says to his girlfriend, "What are those flashing lights?" She didn't know and I thought, well good, it's not me eyesight going someone else sees them too! So the flashing faded out as the movie got more action going and as Rango is handed his six gun with only one bullet in it, O'Hare pipes up in his loud voice, "Why'd dey only give Rango one bullet?" I hushed him and softly explained it to him the best I could, asking him to use his whisper voice, which he did in a loud whisper asking me about the snake next. I was missing the movie for the explanations! Five minutes later as we are getting into the really good part, he has to go, again! So off we go and as we are walking out the flashing is all around us and I be looking and wondering and seeing where it is coming from.
We get out in the lobby and I notice no flashing. We get to the restroom, no flashing, we step into the movie theatre and FLASHING! The guy behind me is saying, "See, did you see it?" and the girlfriend is saying she did and they are as clueless as I. O'Hare and I settled down to resume the movie and as it gets more exciting he's kicking his feet against the chair and as I go to tell him to stop, I notice his shoes have those heels that flash every time he steps down or hits the back of the chair with them. OH GREAT! Quickly I took them off his feet so no more flashing. I wish I had known he had THOSE shoes on. THOSE are the ones Dragon bought him because she thought they were "so cute." YUP.
Well, this didn't end well. After the movie, it was a bit foggy. We went to Burger King because they had the Rango toys and had a meal there. I bought him a small drink this time because I now know not to buy anything bigger because of that small bladder. I missed about 30 minutes total of the movie for the bathroom breaks. So he got his toy, had his dinner, and we went to the car to go home. It was twice as foggy out. I got in and told him no snapping straps back there and by this time he'd gotten cranky, he wanted to go home, he was tired, and he'd had enough, so with all this jabbering going on in the backseat I pulled out and start for home. I get off the highway and turn onto the back road to me house out in the woods. As I be driving, the fog got more and more dense until I could hardly see. I realised after a while I be lost. Me GPS was dead because stupid me had left it on while we were at the movies. I had no charger so I was stuck. Meanwhile, O'Hare was whimpering he wanted his mom. He was scared of being out in the fog and it was obvious, "YOU don't know where we live!"
I crept along and found I was no longer on a paved road, I was on dirt! Where the hell was I? I didn't know. So I got me mobile out and called the wife who was not exactly happy that she had to go turn on the computer and Google Peterborough. I told her the road we were on had no name.
"Then how on earth do you think I can help you?" Says she.
I crept up to a sign, "Says Old County Road."
"Where is that? Wait let me Google it and see what comes up." After a minute of me listening to her fingers clicking over the keys, she asks, "Well, what direction are you in?" I didn't know. "Well, if you go to one end you'll end up in Brookline, if you go to the other it's a dead end in Mason."
I be thinking Brookline? Mason? That's the way the heck back towards where I came from. I sighed and what could I do, I followed it and lucky for me I came out on Route 13 in Brookline. How I got off Route 101 in Petersborough and wound my way all the way back to near the Massachusetts border, in the opposite direction, I have notta clue! So I found Rt. 101 (again) and this time stayed on the main street in Petersborough instead of taking the back road. I got home two hours later than I should have. By this time Mr. Flashing Shoes was asleep in the car seat. The fog was thicker than pea soup on a sunny day and believe it or not, I couldn't see me house. I knew I was there, but I be tellin' ya it was that thick I couldn't see the front door light. I called Tonya and told her I was someplace outside the house. She was pissed. How could I be outside the house and not see it? "Have ye looked out the window lately?" I asked her. Well, no she hadn't she was sick. I asked, "Could ya put the garage spots on to help out?" She did, I got O'Hare and we started walking toward the spots, his shoes flashing, well from inside she could see his shoes doing their thing, and so by mobile phone, she guided us in the door, thanks to the shoes. Oi!
I mean really? Have you ever heard of such a thing? It was an adventure it was. Of course, when she found out I had taken "her son" to see Rango, I got told about the adult content, and the smoking and blah, blah, blah. And, because O'Hare didn't understand it (well, naturally it was filled with Star Wars and China Town references) and he didn't like it. I did. But my opinion didn't count. So, we are all well now, and the mystery of the flashing lights is put to rest, I know if I take him to another movie (if I'm ever allowed to) those won't be the shoes he wears, and I will keep me GPS off until I actually need it (I was accused of leaving it on because I must like to hear the English lass give me directions, uh huh), and never, never, give the boyo soda or any other liquid more than a small cup before a movie. SIGH.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Well, the wife was under the weather she was, had the sniffles and was medicated to the back teeth, so she was walking around in a haze looking for the tissues, sneezing and coughing, it was a sight to behold. She had on her fleecy bathrobe, and fuzzy slippers and her hair was sticking out like tarantulas on her head. I did all I could in the tea and light meal department, ran to the store for tissues, Dayquil, nasal spray, you name it I got it.
The kiddos were driving her crazy, and the noise was well beyond the normal decibel level in our house. For some reason when they know someone isn't feeling well, they ratchet it up a few notches to where you find yourself screaming for silence and well that only adds to the ongoing chaos and while the noise level comes down for a while, you can hear your scream still echoing off the walls. It can be enough to drive you to drink if you weren't on so much medication!
Guido, our smallest was not so much the problem, he was happy throwing things and standing there looking at the destruction, with a careful eye cut to the nearest adult to see if that adult was disproving or not. If not, it was throw another until adult supervision came into play and the throw the toy game was over. The other one, O'Hare, was outfitted in his Buzz Lightyear power pack and running around with Buzz's toy gun that made a hell of a lot of noise, different noises as well, and flashed red lights all over the place, temporarily blinding any adult who happened to be on the search for tissues.
Near tears, the wife was from all this. She was achy, her head hurt, and her ears were mercifully closing, could I at least take O'Hare someplace for a few hours so she could get some rest? It was almost Guido's nap time, and that would help a lot. Well, I asked O'Hare what he'd like to do and he said "movie."
This was good with the wife, take him to see Gnomeo and Juliet said she. I was thinking to meself I did not want to be sitting for two hours watching gnomes. No, no, no. Then take him to see Rainbow, whatever that was. Sounded like a cartoon, I be not a cartoon fan. So, to make this easy I said to her, we were off to see what was playing and we'd be back after dinner, yes I'd take the young guy out for that too, give her another hour or so of peace and quiet.
So off we went. I had put O'Hare's car seat in me Saturn and strapped him in, and off we started when I heard SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! I look in the rear view and he's snapping the seat belt. I told him to stop. He said, "It's an accident, I didn't mean to do it."
Well, OK. A few minutes later, SNAP, SNAP. I look back there and he sees me look and says in a guilty mutter, "accident." And so about three minutes later, SNAP, SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! I pulled over and turned around and with me finger pointing at him, I told him in no uncertain terms I be not happy with him. He looked at me with guilt written all over him and his lower lip protruding in a puss face. I turned around and we started off again when I heard him say, "YOU hurt my feelings!" OMG, it was hard not to laugh. I did tell him that if he does it again, I'll hurt more than his feelings. I know, I know Supernanny would chide me for that, but really, once an accident, two more times, no accident.
We get to the multi-complex cinema and go inside to see what's playing. Rango. That's the one, no asking the kid, I bought us tickets, got him a medium coke, popcorn for the two of us and in we went. We are sitting there and after a few minutes, I think me eyesight be doing strange things. I be seeing flashes of red, blue and green lights and I have no clue where it is coming from. I sat there deep in unsettled thought over this while he was swinging his feet hitting the chair making noise. I told him he couldn't do that once the movie started and it was filling up with mostly adults (well, in truth it was adult animation) and he settled in not banging his shoes on the chair, but the legs still going.
The theatre got dark and the previews came on and he told me he needed to use the restroom. For joi! So up we get and we go and he does his business and we come back and as we come into the dark theatre there it is again! The flashing lights only brighter. We sat down and I was looking around and I had no clue what be causing the flashes. The movie starts and the man sitting behind me says to his girlfriend, "What are those flashing lights?" She didn't know and I thought, well good, it's not me eyesight going someone else sees them too! So the flashing faded out as the movie got more action going and as Rango is handed his six gun with only one bullet in it, O'Hare pipes up in his loud voice, "Why'd dey only give Rango one bullet?" I hushed him and softly explained it to him the best I could, asking him to use his whisper voice, which he did in a loud whisper asking me about the snake next. I was missing the movie for the explanations! Five minutes later as we are getting into the really good part, he has to go, again! So off we go and as we are walking out the flashing is all around us and I be looking and wondering and seeing where it is coming from.
We get out in the lobby and I notice no flashing. We get to the restroom, no flashing, we step into the movie theatre and FLASHING! The guy behind me is saying, "See, did you see it?" and the girlfriend is saying she did and they are as clueless as I. O'Hare and I settled down to resume the movie and as it gets more exciting he's kicking his feet against the chair and as I go to tell him to stop, I notice his shoes have those heels that flash every time he steps down or hits the back of the chair with them. OH GREAT! Quickly I took them off his feet so no more flashing. I wish I had known he had THOSE shoes on. THOSE are the ones Dragon bought him because she thought they were "so cute." YUP.
Well, this didn't end well. After the movie, it was a bit foggy. We went to Burger King because they had the Rango toys and had a meal there. I bought him a small drink this time because I now know not to buy anything bigger because of that small bladder. I missed about 30 minutes total of the movie for the bathroom breaks. So he got his toy, had his dinner, and we went to the car to go home. It was twice as foggy out. I got in and told him no snapping straps back there and by this time he'd gotten cranky, he wanted to go home, he was tired, and he'd had enough, so with all this jabbering going on in the backseat I pulled out and start for home. I get off the highway and turn onto the back road to me house out in the woods. As I be driving, the fog got more and more dense until I could hardly see. I realised after a while I be lost. Me GPS was dead because stupid me had left it on while we were at the movies. I had no charger so I was stuck. Meanwhile, O'Hare was whimpering he wanted his mom. He was scared of being out in the fog and it was obvious, "YOU don't know where we live!"
I crept along and found I was no longer on a paved road, I was on dirt! Where the hell was I? I didn't know. So I got me mobile out and called the wife who was not exactly happy that she had to go turn on the computer and Google Peterborough. I told her the road we were on had no name.
"Then how on earth do you think I can help you?" Says she.
I crept up to a sign, "Says Old County Road."
"Where is that? Wait let me Google it and see what comes up." After a minute of me listening to her fingers clicking over the keys, she asks, "Well, what direction are you in?" I didn't know. "Well, if you go to one end you'll end up in Brookline, if you go to the other it's a dead end in Mason."
I be thinking Brookline? Mason? That's the way the heck back towards where I came from. I sighed and what could I do, I followed it and lucky for me I came out on Route 13 in Brookline. How I got off Route 101 in Petersborough and wound my way all the way back to near the Massachusetts border, in the opposite direction, I have notta clue! So I found Rt. 101 (again) and this time stayed on the main street in Petersborough instead of taking the back road. I got home two hours later than I should have. By this time Mr. Flashing Shoes was asleep in the car seat. The fog was thicker than pea soup on a sunny day and believe it or not, I couldn't see me house. I knew I was there, but I be tellin' ya it was that thick I couldn't see the front door light. I called Tonya and told her I was someplace outside the house. She was pissed. How could I be outside the house and not see it? "Have ye looked out the window lately?" I asked her. Well, no she hadn't she was sick. I asked, "Could ya put the garage spots on to help out?" She did, I got O'Hare and we started walking toward the spots, his shoes flashing, well from inside she could see his shoes doing their thing, and so by mobile phone, she guided us in the door, thanks to the shoes. Oi!
I mean really? Have you ever heard of such a thing? It was an adventure it was. Of course, when she found out I had taken "her son" to see Rango, I got told about the adult content, and the smoking and blah, blah, blah. And, because O'Hare didn't understand it (well, naturally it was filled with Star Wars and China Town references) and he didn't like it. I did. But my opinion didn't count. So, we are all well now, and the mystery of the flashing lights is put to rest, I know if I take him to another movie (if I'm ever allowed to) those won't be the shoes he wears, and I will keep me GPS off until I actually need it (I was accused of leaving it on because I must like to hear the English lass give me directions, uh huh), and never, never, give the boyo soda or any other liquid more than a small cup before a movie. SIGH.
Gabe
Copyright © 2011 All rights reserved
2 comments:
I had those shoes for my kids! Make you go blind! I can imagine the havoc that would cause in a movie theatre!
yep da flashin shoes i gotz me a pair heehee
Post a Comment