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R. Linda:
Ahhh turkey cooking in the cooker! What a great way to wake up, only I didn't wake up to that, I woke up to being rudely shoved and shaken by two sets of little hands, who in whispers (so as not to wake their mother), were urging me to get up. Now that made little sense to me. I got her up and the two of us got our robes and shuffled downstairs to the two boyos sitting next to the presents impatiently waiting. Tonya went straight to the kitchen to brew coffee and I knocked on me parent's door to get them up. I could hear Da sputtering and coughing as he began the morning ritual of getting out of bed, which was cut short by Mam's "James! For the wee kiddies sakes get ye up NOW or you'll have me foot up yer rear gettin' ya up in a hurry!"
That's me Mam, always pleasant in the morning. Even more fun be me wife, who, if she hasn't had at least one sip of coffee you best stay shy of her. That left me to go watch the boyos taking it upon themselves to open all the presents. There I was half of this world, half of the sleep world, trying to give reasons as to why the rest of the family must gather for the opening of presents. Because my parents are not fast movers by any means, and I already knew my wife was standing by the counter, eyes glazed over sipping her morning java, I got the boyos Christmas stockings and had them make a go of those.
There is one thing they have been fighting over of all the things they have, and that one thing is a black toy (see picture below) that looks most like a giant rat but is touted to be a hamster. You run the wheels on the floor to gear it up and then let it go and it makes noises, talks, and goes basically wherever it wants. This thing I discovered talking up me arse this morning as I sat to me breakfast. It had been left on me chair and when I sat down it sounded like me butt was having a conversation. This startled everyone at the table, the adults that is. I pulled it from beneath me and O'Hare was instantly on it with a "SO THAT'S WHERE IT WAS!" Yes, the child could wake the dead, he shouts when he talks and for four old people who haven't enjoyed their morning cuppa, this shouting can be more deafening than it really is.
Add to this, he gets the thing geared and lets it rip and the cat is instantly on it. O'Hare is instantly on the cat and Guido, discovering where the hamster really is, is on both of them. Add to his melee, the setter thinks it's fun wrestle time and is on all of them. The cat is hissing at the dog somehow with the Hamster clamped as well in his kitty jaws as he can get it. O'Hare was pulling on the cat's mouth to dislodge the hamster, his brother had got O'Hare around the neck and was fending off the salivating dog who was drooling in his hair, and the Newfie was laying in the doorway barking at it all.
I tell ya it is enough to make one want to leave home! It took some time, but Tonya and I were able to separate everyone from the hamster. Isn't that sad? A toy hamster. We rescued a toy hamster from our own kids, and the cat and dog want one too! What's life getting to I ask you.
So away from this morning and back to opening gifts. Finally, everyone else joins us and the tearing and ripping and throwing begins. Guido loves cleanup as I believe I have previously mentioned in another story. So as any of us would open a gift he'd be right there grabbing the paper and putting it in a pile. Mind you, he couldn't be bothered with his present opening, he was too focused on cleanup. WHO IS HE? He takes after neither of us on this cleanliness thing. O'Hare opened one thing, exclaimed, put it aside and went for the next gift. Same thing over and over. Finally, he, having opened all his presents, started on his brother's. Want to see cleanup stop with a bang, have O'Hare infringe on Guido's stuff. Guido moved rapidly to separate brother from gifts and then standing in between each, proceeded to curse up a storm at his bro. Where he gets that, I believe is from me Mam.
Speaking of Mam, we have electric candles placed in all our old Colonial windows. Well, Mam noticed no one (meaning me) had bothered to put them on and it being Christmas day and all, this she undertook herself. So she made good use of leaning down, plugging each in until she got to the one by the table in the hallway where there was a lit centrepiece with real candles a-burning. She leaned down very close to the tabletop and I would not have thought anything of it, until I noticed upon rising, she was looking quite the candle as well. I squinted my eyes in disbelief, but yup there she was heading to the next window hair aflame.
"MAM!" I jumped up running down the hallway after her and then realised that to put her out, I'd be burning me fool hands off, so I made a U-ee and went running to the bathroom for a towel. By the time I reached her, she was headed back towards the lounge quite ablaze by now, completely oblivious to what was happening above her eyebrows. Me Da caught sight and sat frozen in his chair, mouth open in shock. I caught her before she could set fire to the tree as she was close to turning the lights on behind it. Woomph was the sound that came from behind her as I had the towel over her head and she, taken quite by surprise started wrestling the towel from her head and cursing a blue streak at her assailant, which was me!
I had it out in a jiff and lucky for her, she only put a singe to herself, the fire must have been dancing off the hair product she uses, I don't know any other explanation but that she still had her hair. She was quite upset after the fact, but Da had made it into a huge joke, she'll never live down. I dunno, I am about to send the whole family to YOUR house next Christmas, these doings will make a short end of me for sure.
I sat there at first smiling and thinking how charming it all was (except me Mam impersonating a candle that is), but the screaming, cursing, yelling, jumping up and down, tug of war over gifts and such, was all that I could take. I was all for going straight back to bed and never getting up again and that was just my parents, never mind the boyos.
Before dinner me and Da settled in front of the telly, the boyos arguing over that damn hamster toy and we two tried to watch A Christmas Carol over the noise. Somehow Da fell asleep, a neat trick I wish I could have done. He completely shut the hamster agry out while I tried to keep the argy down to a low roar and at the same time hear what Alistar Sims was saying. Thank the forces that be we were called, or in Da's case, awakened for dinner. After that long, yummy event, the evening fell to full bellies and happy and worn-out kiddlets. I did notice one thing, Lois's storybook got a redo, now when the boyos open it there is me sweet Mam's heavily Irish accented voice telling the story the way it should be told. However, now we have from one, "What happened to aunty Lewis?" and from the other, "Wot she sayin' iz dat English?" So now we have two of these big books, both with me Mam's Irish which the boyos don't understand. YEA one for each!
OI!
THE Hampstah!
R. Linda:
Ahhh turkey cooking in the cooker! What a great way to wake up, only I didn't wake up to that, I woke up to being rudely shoved and shaken by two sets of little hands, who in whispers (so as not to wake their mother), were urging me to get up. Now that made little sense to me. I got her up and the two of us got our robes and shuffled downstairs to the two boyos sitting next to the presents impatiently waiting. Tonya went straight to the kitchen to brew coffee and I knocked on me parent's door to get them up. I could hear Da sputtering and coughing as he began the morning ritual of getting out of bed, which was cut short by Mam's "James! For the wee kiddies sakes get ye up NOW or you'll have me foot up yer rear gettin' ya up in a hurry!"
That's me Mam, always pleasant in the morning. Even more fun be me wife, who, if she hasn't had at least one sip of coffee you best stay shy of her. That left me to go watch the boyos taking it upon themselves to open all the presents. There I was half of this world, half of the sleep world, trying to give reasons as to why the rest of the family must gather for the opening of presents. Because my parents are not fast movers by any means, and I already knew my wife was standing by the counter, eyes glazed over sipping her morning java, I got the boyos Christmas stockings and had them make a go of those.
There is one thing they have been fighting over of all the things they have, and that one thing is a black toy (see picture below) that looks most like a giant rat but is touted to be a hamster. You run the wheels on the floor to gear it up and then let it go and it makes noises, talks, and goes basically wherever it wants. This thing I discovered talking up me arse this morning as I sat to me breakfast. It had been left on me chair and when I sat down it sounded like me butt was having a conversation. This startled everyone at the table, the adults that is. I pulled it from beneath me and O'Hare was instantly on it with a "SO THAT'S WHERE IT WAS!" Yes, the child could wake the dead, he shouts when he talks and for four old people who haven't enjoyed their morning cuppa, this shouting can be more deafening than it really is.
Add to this, he gets the thing geared and lets it rip and the cat is instantly on it. O'Hare is instantly on the cat and Guido, discovering where the hamster really is, is on both of them. Add to his melee, the setter thinks it's fun wrestle time and is on all of them. The cat is hissing at the dog somehow with the Hamster clamped as well in his kitty jaws as he can get it. O'Hare was pulling on the cat's mouth to dislodge the hamster, his brother had got O'Hare around the neck and was fending off the salivating dog who was drooling in his hair, and the Newfie was laying in the doorway barking at it all.
I tell ya it is enough to make one want to leave home! It took some time, but Tonya and I were able to separate everyone from the hamster. Isn't that sad? A toy hamster. We rescued a toy hamster from our own kids, and the cat and dog want one too! What's life getting to I ask you.
So away from this morning and back to opening gifts. Finally, everyone else joins us and the tearing and ripping and throwing begins. Guido loves cleanup as I believe I have previously mentioned in another story. So as any of us would open a gift he'd be right there grabbing the paper and putting it in a pile. Mind you, he couldn't be bothered with his present opening, he was too focused on cleanup. WHO IS HE? He takes after neither of us on this cleanliness thing. O'Hare opened one thing, exclaimed, put it aside and went for the next gift. Same thing over and over. Finally, he, having opened all his presents, started on his brother's. Want to see cleanup stop with a bang, have O'Hare infringe on Guido's stuff. Guido moved rapidly to separate brother from gifts and then standing in between each, proceeded to curse up a storm at his bro. Where he gets that, I believe is from me Mam.
Speaking of Mam, we have electric candles placed in all our old Colonial windows. Well, Mam noticed no one (meaning me) had bothered to put them on and it being Christmas day and all, this she undertook herself. So she made good use of leaning down, plugging each in until she got to the one by the table in the hallway where there was a lit centrepiece with real candles a-burning. She leaned down very close to the tabletop and I would not have thought anything of it, until I noticed upon rising, she was looking quite the candle as well. I squinted my eyes in disbelief, but yup there she was heading to the next window hair aflame.
"MAM!" I jumped up running down the hallway after her and then realised that to put her out, I'd be burning me fool hands off, so I made a U-ee and went running to the bathroom for a towel. By the time I reached her, she was headed back towards the lounge quite ablaze by now, completely oblivious to what was happening above her eyebrows. Me Da caught sight and sat frozen in his chair, mouth open in shock. I caught her before she could set fire to the tree as she was close to turning the lights on behind it. Woomph was the sound that came from behind her as I had the towel over her head and she, taken quite by surprise started wrestling the towel from her head and cursing a blue streak at her assailant, which was me!
I had it out in a jiff and lucky for her, she only put a singe to herself, the fire must have been dancing off the hair product she uses, I don't know any other explanation but that she still had her hair. She was quite upset after the fact, but Da had made it into a huge joke, she'll never live down. I dunno, I am about to send the whole family to YOUR house next Christmas, these doings will make a short end of me for sure.
I sat there at first smiling and thinking how charming it all was (except me Mam impersonating a candle that is), but the screaming, cursing, yelling, jumping up and down, tug of war over gifts and such, was all that I could take. I was all for going straight back to bed and never getting up again and that was just my parents, never mind the boyos.
Before dinner me and Da settled in front of the telly, the boyos arguing over that damn hamster toy and we two tried to watch A Christmas Carol over the noise. Somehow Da fell asleep, a neat trick I wish I could have done. He completely shut the hamster agry out while I tried to keep the argy down to a low roar and at the same time hear what Alistar Sims was saying. Thank the forces that be we were called, or in Da's case, awakened for dinner. After that long, yummy event, the evening fell to full bellies and happy and worn-out kiddlets. I did notice one thing, Lois's storybook got a redo, now when the boyos open it there is me sweet Mam's heavily Irish accented voice telling the story the way it should be told. However, now we have from one, "What happened to aunty Lewis?" and from the other, "Wot she sayin' iz dat English?" So now we have two of these big books, both with me Mam's Irish which the boyos don't understand. YEA one for each!
OI!
THE Hampstah!
Gabe
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1 comment:
ROFLMAO! Don't I know the feeling :(
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