70
R. Linda:
After the euphoria of the Pee Cat gone, and the smell being eliminated wore off, I began to notice something, a smell that permeated me bedroom. Now I knew that damn cat was gone, the cleaning service had turned me room upside under to make sure all signs of cat were taken care of, yet, yet R. Linda, there was a distinctly foul odour wafting through me room. I'd smell it at certain places in the room and I was confused as to where it be coming from and what was causing it.
After an hour of tearing me newly cleaned room apart and finding no signs of cat, I went out and poured meself a Jameson. I was sitting on the arm of one of the leather chairs looking through the doorway to me room. There was no smell where I was and yet, if I ventured just inside the door of me bedroom, I would be instantly hit with an awful nose full.
I got up and stood there, drink held under me nose to cause the smell of whiskey to invade the foul odour that surrounded me. I had sniffed me armpits while out in the living room, and I smelt fresh, so wasn't me. I finally put the whiskey down and forced meself (while alternately holding me breath), to straighten up me room again in the hopes I'd find whatever had died in there.
As I cleaned I thought back to miss Pee and her smug pushed in little face purring it up in Uncle Boris's lap just to make me mad. Then it hit me, Uncle Boris! He had that smelly coat which I held away from me person to put near the open window. He had hugged me before he left in what is characteristic Russian camaraderie I suppose, and I almost feinted from the B O. Yes, it was on me clothing, the clothing I had on the day before! I tore off to me closet and as soon as I opened the door the smell attacked me with such force, I put me sleeve to me nose, involuntarily took three or four faltering steps backwards, and realised me eyes were watering something fierce. I forced meself forward and flipped up the top of me hamper and there, yes, there right on top, were the offending clothes.
Needing air I ran from the bedroom slamming the door behind me. I ran to the window and flung it open. There, I gulped in a few deep breaths of fresh air and then flew into the kitchen. I threw open one of the drawers and found the spaghetti tongs. I slapped on a pair of rubber gloves that Nadia must use for washing dishes, and tying a tea towel over me nose and mouth I grabbed the Febreze. I took one last deep breath and strode with determination, and with a kitchen trash bag back to the bedroom. With tongs at the ready I extracted the clothing into the trash bag. I tied it up tight and with proper pose I spayed the hell out of that clothes hamper, the closet, and as I backed out of the room with me trash bag, I sprayed me room for good measure and slammed the door SHUT!
I ripped off the tea towel, threw the gloves down running out of the flat to the dust bin where I tossed me smelly belongings over the top and into it. Now the place is smelling good. So far anyway.
However, I be out another shirt, jeans, me Joe Boxer's and me Hanes socks. I know you think this is very funny, but you need to live it to know this can take its toll on a sane individual. This better be the end of it because I be about to have me olfactory senses removed by a surgeon if it continues.
Gabe
Copyright © 2004 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
After the euphoria of the Pee Cat gone, and the smell being eliminated wore off, I began to notice something, a smell that permeated me bedroom. Now I knew that damn cat was gone, the cleaning service had turned me room upside under to make sure all signs of cat were taken care of, yet, yet R. Linda, there was a distinctly foul odour wafting through me room. I'd smell it at certain places in the room and I was confused as to where it be coming from and what was causing it.
After an hour of tearing me newly cleaned room apart and finding no signs of cat, I went out and poured meself a Jameson. I was sitting on the arm of one of the leather chairs looking through the doorway to me room. There was no smell where I was and yet, if I ventured just inside the door of me bedroom, I would be instantly hit with an awful nose full.
I got up and stood there, drink held under me nose to cause the smell of whiskey to invade the foul odour that surrounded me. I had sniffed me armpits while out in the living room, and I smelt fresh, so wasn't me. I finally put the whiskey down and forced meself (while alternately holding me breath), to straighten up me room again in the hopes I'd find whatever had died in there.
As I cleaned I thought back to miss Pee and her smug pushed in little face purring it up in Uncle Boris's lap just to make me mad. Then it hit me, Uncle Boris! He had that smelly coat which I held away from me person to put near the open window. He had hugged me before he left in what is characteristic Russian camaraderie I suppose, and I almost feinted from the B O. Yes, it was on me clothing, the clothing I had on the day before! I tore off to me closet and as soon as I opened the door the smell attacked me with such force, I put me sleeve to me nose, involuntarily took three or four faltering steps backwards, and realised me eyes were watering something fierce. I forced meself forward and flipped up the top of me hamper and there, yes, there right on top, were the offending clothes.
Needing air I ran from the bedroom slamming the door behind me. I ran to the window and flung it open. There, I gulped in a few deep breaths of fresh air and then flew into the kitchen. I threw open one of the drawers and found the spaghetti tongs. I slapped on a pair of rubber gloves that Nadia must use for washing dishes, and tying a tea towel over me nose and mouth I grabbed the Febreze. I took one last deep breath and strode with determination, and with a kitchen trash bag back to the bedroom. With tongs at the ready I extracted the clothing into the trash bag. I tied it up tight and with proper pose I spayed the hell out of that clothes hamper, the closet, and as I backed out of the room with me trash bag, I sprayed me room for good measure and slammed the door SHUT!
I ripped off the tea towel, threw the gloves down running out of the flat to the dust bin where I tossed me smelly belongings over the top and into it. Now the place is smelling good. So far anyway.
However, I be out another shirt, jeans, me Joe Boxer's and me Hanes socks. I know you think this is very funny, but you need to live it to know this can take its toll on a sane individual. This better be the end of it because I be about to have me olfactory senses removed by a surgeon if it continues.
Gabe
Copyright © 2004 All rights reserved
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