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R. Linda:
It was an awful, dreadful scene I tell ya. The wet gum chewing, squinty and near-sighted faery clinging to the jagged rock for dear life and whatho! What have we here? Do I see the long slender arm of the evil princess clinging to the other side of the jagged rock? Why yes, I do!
"Spit the gum out and help me!" Her royal hinnie, I mean highness demanded.
"Huh?" The usual reply to anyone who addressed Tink did not make the evil princess feel even the slightest bit tickled that she got some kind of a response. No indeed. It made her madder. You know mad is one level, madder is the second and that's where the evil princess was, and very close to the last level of anger, madder than a hornet in a bees bonnet (whatever that means). What DOES that mean? I mean really? I heard it from the late Weasil, and thought it made sense at the time.
Anyway, there was no sign of the handsome prince and we may assume he was whirling around in the eddies on his way to the BIG waterfall. We may take a moment to get over the image in our minds and push on.
Pause.
Alright then, just as both our heroines were getting tired clinging to their respective ends of jagged rock, a rather large tree branch came floating down the Roaring River. Now you would say, grab that Tink or Evil (whoever you are routing for), and either wedge it between the jagged rocks around THE jagged rock and haul yourself up where then, if I was the insulted Tink, I could pull the branch off of the rock crevice and toss it away. Then with hands on my hips and legs apart looking like Peter Pan on a peanut butter jar, I'd say, "Haahaahaaa!"
If you'd rather it was the evil princess, you could envision her catching hold of the branch, wedging it between the jagged rocks around THE jagged rock, hoisting herself up and then taking the branch and swinging it at Tink's head or worse bringing it down hard on the little Tink fingers, until Tink lets go of jagged rock and drifts into the eddies and down towards the (say it with me), BIG WATERFALL.
HOWEVER, it didn't end that way, either way for that matter. It happened this way: instant recap, faery on one side, evil princess on the other. Ok then, the evil princess yells at the squinty eyed Tink, "Do some faery magic or whatever it is you do and get me out of this current!"
We know the response was, "HUH?"
The evil princess was reaching that third level of madder than a hornet in a bees bonnet at the lack of help and so with the strength that comes when one is madder than a hornet in a bees bonnet, she hauled herself up onto the rock and with a snaky slit-eyed look at the clinging Tink she shouted, "Are you deaf too or just plain stupid?"
We know what the response would be, so let's not even write it out. The evil princess answered for Tink, with "BOTH!"
Oh my.
That would explain the banana boat, stupidity. The non-answering of questions, deafness, but maybe if she would just spit out the gum, brains and hearing might return? Nah.
Ok, I know this is the most exciting part, but I be suffering memory loss. I can't remember what happened next. I'll just go have a snack and maybe it will come to me. Then again . . .
Gabe
Copyright © 2005 Gabriel O'Sullivan All rights reserved
R. Linda:
It was an awful, dreadful scene I tell ya. The wet gum chewing, squinty and near-sighted faery clinging to the jagged rock for dear life and whatho! What have we here? Do I see the long slender arm of the evil princess clinging to the other side of the jagged rock? Why yes, I do!
"Spit the gum out and help me!" Her royal hinnie, I mean highness demanded.
"Huh?" The usual reply to anyone who addressed Tink did not make the evil princess feel even the slightest bit tickled that she got some kind of a response. No indeed. It made her madder. You know mad is one level, madder is the second and that's where the evil princess was, and very close to the last level of anger, madder than a hornet in a bees bonnet (whatever that means). What DOES that mean? I mean really? I heard it from the late Weasil, and thought it made sense at the time.
Anyway, there was no sign of the handsome prince and we may assume he was whirling around in the eddies on his way to the BIG waterfall. We may take a moment to get over the image in our minds and push on.
Pause.
Alright then, just as both our heroines were getting tired clinging to their respective ends of jagged rock, a rather large tree branch came floating down the Roaring River. Now you would say, grab that Tink or Evil (whoever you are routing for), and either wedge it between the jagged rocks around THE jagged rock and haul yourself up where then, if I was the insulted Tink, I could pull the branch off of the rock crevice and toss it away. Then with hands on my hips and legs apart looking like Peter Pan on a peanut butter jar, I'd say, "Haahaahaaa!"
If you'd rather it was the evil princess, you could envision her catching hold of the branch, wedging it between the jagged rocks around THE jagged rock, hoisting herself up and then taking the branch and swinging it at Tink's head or worse bringing it down hard on the little Tink fingers, until Tink lets go of jagged rock and drifts into the eddies and down towards the (say it with me), BIG WATERFALL.
HOWEVER, it didn't end that way, either way for that matter. It happened this way: instant recap, faery on one side, evil princess on the other. Ok then, the evil princess yells at the squinty eyed Tink, "Do some faery magic or whatever it is you do and get me out of this current!"
We know the response was, "HUH?"
The evil princess was reaching that third level of madder than a hornet in a bees bonnet at the lack of help and so with the strength that comes when one is madder than a hornet in a bees bonnet, she hauled herself up onto the rock and with a snaky slit-eyed look at the clinging Tink she shouted, "Are you deaf too or just plain stupid?"
We know what the response would be, so let's not even write it out. The evil princess answered for Tink, with "BOTH!"
Oh my.
That would explain the banana boat, stupidity. The non-answering of questions, deafness, but maybe if she would just spit out the gum, brains and hearing might return? Nah.
Ok, I know this is the most exciting part, but I be suffering memory loss. I can't remember what happened next. I'll just go have a snack and maybe it will come to me. Then again . . .
Gabe
Copyright © 2005 Gabriel O'Sullivan All rights reserved
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