Senator Kerry and Me and then a timely Invite

23 March 2004

47

R. Linda:

I am not covering Candidate Kerry because he's in Sun Valley on holiday. Thank the saints for that! I be convinced the man is an egotistical moron if ever there was one and he practices old tyme politics, yessirree Bobby Kennedy!

He acts like a Kennedy, smells like a Kennedy, has hair like a Kennedy, and talks like a Kennedy, so he must be a Kennedy, but his name isn't Teddy.

I will not be looking forward to The Return of King Kerry anytime soon, but I know me respite will end sooner than later. If only I was Jane Fonda!

I've been hiding out under the gov's coattails in an effort to look gone, so me editor doesn't see me and say, "Gabriel get your arse to Utah and cover that tall guy would ya?" Sigh. The trial and tribulations of being a political reporter. I would like a stab at the Style Section. I can report on pink and yellow Carib feather rooms as well as our style editor. It is more pleasant to look into people's homes instead of listening to rhetoric all day and all night. I need another holiday, but I am shy of the idea since the last jaunt turned into a Stephen King novel . . .  almost.

But good news! I am invited to Mr. Weasilman's never-ending graduation party. This is number three. I will fly out to Colorado with a "grad gift" and a photo ID for the HELLO MY NAME IS tag or taggie, as said in Weasilese.

This surprised me since the Weasil is adept at pasting my face on bodies that don't belong to me. I suspect he's told all his friends I'm a light-complexioned Korean man with a strange accent. He has been busy arranging for the "partee," and the preparations are a lot of blow-up dolls that he told me everyone can keep. I shrink at the thought of me and a blow-up dolly named Heidi Fleiss on an airliner returning to Boston. This raises questions, will I need an extra airline ticket, and will they stop me at the gate for questioning? Will I make the local news, or worse, the national? And begorrah, what if I make the international news and me family back home see me being described as a Korean Irishman, trying to pass a blow-up doll off as me travelling companion? He gets me in more trouble than anyone I know and doesn't even live close to me.

Gabe
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