31 May 2013
Story #671
R. Linda:
Yesterday (before the heat set in), I was to go to a convention of sorts in the Dorchester Heights area of Boston. I could smell the heat coming, so I got inside the air-conditioned atmosphere of one of the hotels as quickly as I could. And because this area is similar to Jackson Square, and I didn't feel very safe, I was happy to be off the street and inside the rather dark, musty, and gloomy old hotel. Anyway, since this was billed as a breakfast buffet kind of deal, I made hellos and went off with a friend to get the chow. And chow is a good word for it, like in dog chow.
I would like to know why it is that when you go to these places, the food is sadly wanting. I know it wasn't a 5-star hotel, but it was the equivalent of eating cafeteria fare or worse - prison food (I've never been to prison, mind you, but I think what I ate was pretty much like that).
This year, I've had a lot of these early morning hotel chain breakfasts, to the extent that I've become somewhat of an expert on the food. I cannot think of one hotel chain in my mind where I had a great meal! I remember being in Lothian, Scotland, at the Holiday Inn, and the day before I had checked in, there was no one in sight. I took meself to the bar and had a drink, and there were one or two people there, and one was visiting. But the next morning, I went to the breakfast buffet to find the place crowded with guests. One Scotsman was loudly decrying the fact that "This is SCOTLAND, why is there no porridge?" Why indeed? I had runny eggs, blood sausage (that was so dry it could have been mistaken for a doggy treat), and some kind of roll that was harder than a rock, and I thought I'd break me teeth on. The tea was lacking in that the hot water was mostly gone, so I went to the coffee urn and got the dregs. I tell ya. When I asked if the coffee was going to be replenished, I had hoped that as the urn was taken away, it would never come back!
I left very hungry and had to catch a train, to which at the station I found a small cafe and had a sticky bun and a cup of somewhat decent coffee (and mind you Scotland is not known for its coffee), but well it didn't do much for me at all so it was the start to not such a great day.
I suppose that because the breakfasts are "free" (I'm sure it was included in the price the company paid for in yesterday's case, or absorbed in the room cost if one is forced to stay, as in Scotland), no fuss was thought to be needed. In my case, it was free, and you get what you don't pay for in these instances. Yup.
I had spent the night at a chain hotel and was leaving first thing the next morning. I didn't have to get up at 6; I got up at 8. By the time I made it downstairs, breakfast had been hanging around the lobby since 6 a.m., and it was pretty picked over, stale, and the coffee was stone cold. I wanted to have a fresh hot coffee and took a cereal box (you know those kiddie-size Frosted Flakes you buy your kids at the supermarket) with me as I ran down a fleeing wait person for fresh coffee and MILK for me cereal. Well, you'd think I asked to be served by Gordon Ramsey himself. It was such an imposition, I tell ya!
They were out of ground coffee, and were hoping they were done with the buffet so they wouldn't have to brew more until they had time to run out between then and lunch! Really! I was told there was a Dunkin Donuts two long blocks away, and that's where I should go. I began to stick the cereal box in me pocket because I wasn't going back into the lobby to put it back. Then on second thought, I left it on the concierge counter and took meself off to not Dunkin Donuts, because there wasn't one; it was a McDonald's, where I had an Egg McMuffin and the equivalent of what looked and tasted like dirty dishwater. To make matters worse, I missed me train because I had to stand in a long line at McDonald's for me order. I was not happy, I can tell ya that much.
I've noticed that whenever I'm forced to stay in a chain hotel or motel, it's the same old thing. The cereals range from Frosted Flakes and Cheerios to Fruit Loops mini boxes. The breads are always stale, including croissants that are break-your-teeth hard, bagels that are break-your-teeth hard, old, soggy toast, and in some cases, black and burnt toast, accompanied by those little tubs of lard that have become oily or the sticky jelly tubs that are on the greasy side. To offset those culinary delights are the eggs! They run from old, cold scrambled, to runny, messy, cold over-easy, to rubber omelettes with hairs in them! Coffee, if you're lucky enough to get any of that beverage, usually comes from the bottom of the pot, where the dregs give your mouth an unwelcome surprise, or old teabags your granny has hoarded since World War II.
With low-cost, no-frills airlines, to chain hotels and inns, it makes one appreciate that when one can afford to travel in style, one should take full advantage because . . . well because the other end is pretty sad and depressing and if one isn't careful, a straight diet of such will do a few things to one's appearance. Like, you will lose a lot of weight and your skin will have a greyish tinge to it, your taste buds will have rolled up and died from lack of tasty food, and when you are served a decent cup of coffee you will go into caffeine nirvana and probably shock that you actually got the real thing and have to be resuscitated. If the bedbugs haven't bitten the hell out of you to where you look like you have a full body case of acne, you will be sporting bags the size of giant suitcases under your weary, sleep-deprived eyes.
And before I am done, the cheapie airlines are also in me sight. There is no other way to fly than in business or first class. If you find yourself with a cancelled flight and the only available seat is in the back of coach, think about the choice of that bedbug hotel or four or more hours with crying babies, elbows in the ribs, and exorbitant costs of a bag with five peanuts inside. This alcoholic drink costs you your firstborn, and the fact that you are probably being loaded into a propeller job that will take two hours longer to get you home than if you were on a jet! And let us not forget the cost of a second bag of luggage, if you have one, which is equivalent to the cost of your monthly mortgage payment on your house. Just sayin'.
Yes, Gabe be in a bad mood, Gabe does not like the heat!
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Yesterday (before the heat set in), I was to go to a convention of sorts in the Dorchester Heights area of Boston. I could smell the heat coming, so I got inside the air-conditioned atmosphere of one of the hotels as quickly as I could. And because this area is similar to Jackson Square, and I didn't feel very safe, I was happy to be off the street and inside the rather dark, musty, and gloomy old hotel. Anyway, since this was billed as a breakfast buffet kind of deal, I made hellos and went off with a friend to get the chow. And chow is a good word for it, like in dog chow.
I would like to know why it is that when you go to these places, the food is sadly wanting. I know it wasn't a 5-star hotel, but it was the equivalent of eating cafeteria fare or worse - prison food (I've never been to prison, mind you, but I think what I ate was pretty much like that).
This year, I've had a lot of these early morning hotel chain breakfasts, to the extent that I've become somewhat of an expert on the food. I cannot think of one hotel chain in my mind where I had a great meal! I remember being in Lothian, Scotland, at the Holiday Inn, and the day before I had checked in, there was no one in sight. I took meself to the bar and had a drink, and there were one or two people there, and one was visiting. But the next morning, I went to the breakfast buffet to find the place crowded with guests. One Scotsman was loudly decrying the fact that "This is SCOTLAND, why is there no porridge?" Why indeed? I had runny eggs, blood sausage (that was so dry it could have been mistaken for a doggy treat), and some kind of roll that was harder than a rock, and I thought I'd break me teeth on. The tea was lacking in that the hot water was mostly gone, so I went to the coffee urn and got the dregs. I tell ya. When I asked if the coffee was going to be replenished, I had hoped that as the urn was taken away, it would never come back!
I left very hungry and had to catch a train, to which at the station I found a small cafe and had a sticky bun and a cup of somewhat decent coffee (and mind you Scotland is not known for its coffee), but well it didn't do much for me at all so it was the start to not such a great day.
I suppose that because the breakfasts are "free" (I'm sure it was included in the price the company paid for in yesterday's case, or absorbed in the room cost if one is forced to stay, as in Scotland), no fuss was thought to be needed. In my case, it was free, and you get what you don't pay for in these instances. Yup.
I had spent the night at a chain hotel and was leaving first thing the next morning. I didn't have to get up at 6; I got up at 8. By the time I made it downstairs, breakfast had been hanging around the lobby since 6 a.m., and it was pretty picked over, stale, and the coffee was stone cold. I wanted to have a fresh hot coffee and took a cereal box (you know those kiddie-size Frosted Flakes you buy your kids at the supermarket) with me as I ran down a fleeing wait person for fresh coffee and MILK for me cereal. Well, you'd think I asked to be served by Gordon Ramsey himself. It was such an imposition, I tell ya!
They were out of ground coffee, and were hoping they were done with the buffet so they wouldn't have to brew more until they had time to run out between then and lunch! Really! I was told there was a Dunkin Donuts two long blocks away, and that's where I should go. I began to stick the cereal box in me pocket because I wasn't going back into the lobby to put it back. Then on second thought, I left it on the concierge counter and took meself off to not Dunkin Donuts, because there wasn't one; it was a McDonald's, where I had an Egg McMuffin and the equivalent of what looked and tasted like dirty dishwater. To make matters worse, I missed me train because I had to stand in a long line at McDonald's for me order. I was not happy, I can tell ya that much.
I've noticed that whenever I'm forced to stay in a chain hotel or motel, it's the same old thing. The cereals range from Frosted Flakes and Cheerios to Fruit Loops mini boxes. The breads are always stale, including croissants that are break-your-teeth hard, bagels that are break-your-teeth hard, old, soggy toast, and in some cases, black and burnt toast, accompanied by those little tubs of lard that have become oily or the sticky jelly tubs that are on the greasy side. To offset those culinary delights are the eggs! They run from old, cold scrambled, to runny, messy, cold over-easy, to rubber omelettes with hairs in them! Coffee, if you're lucky enough to get any of that beverage, usually comes from the bottom of the pot, where the dregs give your mouth an unwelcome surprise, or old teabags your granny has hoarded since World War II.
With low-cost, no-frills airlines, to chain hotels and inns, it makes one appreciate that when one can afford to travel in style, one should take full advantage because . . . well because the other end is pretty sad and depressing and if one isn't careful, a straight diet of such will do a few things to one's appearance. Like, you will lose a lot of weight and your skin will have a greyish tinge to it, your taste buds will have rolled up and died from lack of tasty food, and when you are served a decent cup of coffee you will go into caffeine nirvana and probably shock that you actually got the real thing and have to be resuscitated. If the bedbugs haven't bitten the hell out of you to where you look like you have a full body case of acne, you will be sporting bags the size of giant suitcases under your weary, sleep-deprived eyes.
And before I am done, the cheapie airlines are also in me sight. There is no other way to fly than in business or first class. If you find yourself with a cancelled flight and the only available seat is in the back of coach, think about the choice of that bedbug hotel or four or more hours with crying babies, elbows in the ribs, and exorbitant costs of a bag with five peanuts inside. This alcoholic drink costs you your firstborn, and the fact that you are probably being loaded into a propeller job that will take two hours longer to get you home than if you were on a jet! And let us not forget the cost of a second bag of luggage, if you have one, which is equivalent to the cost of your monthly mortgage payment on your house. Just sayin'.
Yes, Gabe be in a bad mood, Gabe does not like the heat!
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
