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R. Linda:
I got an email from the Weasil complaining about his wife. She's on an honesty kick to teach their two young delinquents that lying about things just isn't right. Seems the two young ones fight over toys and who has who's action figure and then engage in fist-a-cuffs until one of their parents break it up. When separated and asked what the story be, they each come up with some lie about the other one. Mrs. Weasil be tired of it and so to be an example to these two young whippersnappers she's been brutally honest about a host of things.
Mr. Weasil hasn't had to deal with much of this, because he be a snowboard addict and he's never home. But the other day, he was "boarding" and went to the ski lodge afterward with a couple of his crazy snowboard fanatic friends. They had a few brewskies and then all went their respective ways. Meanwhile, Weasil's wife decided she wanted to take the two kiddos out for pizza, since they had been behaving and this would reinforce their willingness to turn a new, honest leaf.
Weasil, upon arriving home had to turn right around and back to the car, taking off for the pizza place, as the two youngin's were hungry. They had a relatively calm dinner (a big change from the kiddies throwing tantrums and food), and the Weasil relaxed with another beer with his pizza. They left happy, relaxed, and full of good food for the highway and home.
Suddenly a patrol car pulls them over and the officer walks up to the window and says to Weasil, "You were driving sixty in a fifty mile per hour zone."
Weasil being Weasil said, "I was doing the limit but the traffic flow was a little faster and so I stepped it up to keep up with that, officer."
The wife sitting there listening mutters, "Uh no, you were doing sixty the whole time."
Well, the officer was sharp eared and heard this mutterance. He also noticed something else and said, "There is a seatbelt law, you aren't buckled up either, and when driving at the rate of speed I clocked, you were putting your life in jeopardy was well as your wife and children."
Weasil laughs this off with, "I did have it buckled, I undid it to get me license and information for you."
Mrs. Weasil muttered, "That's not so. You haven't been wearing it the whole time."
Weasil turned to his wife and said, "What is the matter with you?"
The Officer leaned in and asked her, "Does he always lie like this?"
And she said, "Only when he's drunk officer."
So the Weasil was made to get out of the vehicle, walk the straight line (which he accomplished, but he be a snowboarder, his balance is impeccable), but his breathalyzer test was um, shall we say slightly high? 0.08 was enough he could have been pulled in, but the officer let Mrs. Weasil drive them home, issued Mr. Weasil a ticket and a court date for DUI. Oh the trials and tribulations of being Weasil. He had thought his alcohol intake was at least a 0.06 because his reasoning was his body had time to absorb the beers he had at the lodge, and the one at dinner shouldn't have mattered. I guess it did, because it spiked that alcohol level back up. He got what he deserves and I doubt he can talk himself out of this one, but then he isn't in the mood for talking especially to his very honest and upstanding citizen wife.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I got an email from the Weasil complaining about his wife. She's on an honesty kick to teach their two young delinquents that lying about things just isn't right. Seems the two young ones fight over toys and who has who's action figure and then engage in fist-a-cuffs until one of their parents break it up. When separated and asked what the story be, they each come up with some lie about the other one. Mrs. Weasil be tired of it and so to be an example to these two young whippersnappers she's been brutally honest about a host of things.
Mr. Weasil hasn't had to deal with much of this, because he be a snowboard addict and he's never home. But the other day, he was "boarding" and went to the ski lodge afterward with a couple of his crazy snowboard fanatic friends. They had a few brewskies and then all went their respective ways. Meanwhile, Weasil's wife decided she wanted to take the two kiddos out for pizza, since they had been behaving and this would reinforce their willingness to turn a new, honest leaf.
Weasil, upon arriving home had to turn right around and back to the car, taking off for the pizza place, as the two youngin's were hungry. They had a relatively calm dinner (a big change from the kiddies throwing tantrums and food), and the Weasil relaxed with another beer with his pizza. They left happy, relaxed, and full of good food for the highway and home.
Suddenly a patrol car pulls them over and the officer walks up to the window and says to Weasil, "You were driving sixty in a fifty mile per hour zone."
Weasil being Weasil said, "I was doing the limit but the traffic flow was a little faster and so I stepped it up to keep up with that, officer."
The wife sitting there listening mutters, "Uh no, you were doing sixty the whole time."
Well, the officer was sharp eared and heard this mutterance. He also noticed something else and said, "There is a seatbelt law, you aren't buckled up either, and when driving at the rate of speed I clocked, you were putting your life in jeopardy was well as your wife and children."
Weasil laughs this off with, "I did have it buckled, I undid it to get me license and information for you."
Mrs. Weasil muttered, "That's not so. You haven't been wearing it the whole time."
Weasil turned to his wife and said, "What is the matter with you?"
The Officer leaned in and asked her, "Does he always lie like this?"
And she said, "Only when he's drunk officer."
So the Weasil was made to get out of the vehicle, walk the straight line (which he accomplished, but he be a snowboarder, his balance is impeccable), but his breathalyzer test was um, shall we say slightly high? 0.08 was enough he could have been pulled in, but the officer let Mrs. Weasil drive them home, issued Mr. Weasil a ticket and a court date for DUI. Oh the trials and tribulations of being Weasil. He had thought his alcohol intake was at least a 0.06 because his reasoning was his body had time to absorb the beers he had at the lodge, and the one at dinner shouldn't have mattered. I guess it did, because it spiked that alcohol level back up. He got what he deserves and I doubt he can talk himself out of this one, but then he isn't in the mood for talking especially to his very honest and upstanding citizen wife.
Gabe
Copyright © 2010 All rights reserved
