07 April 2013
655
R. Linda:
Well, well, well! I thought to inform the Weasil NOT to sell me the belongings he took to Colorado. And the young scamp, in turn, must have been drunker than a skunk because he sent me the wrong email. I can only think he had at least two emails open on his computer, mine and one from someone else. Well, I am sure that someone else is scratching his head, wondering what the young whippersnapper might have been explaining in the way of a few boxes of discarded memorabilia. As it was for meself, I was reading a rather amusing (to me, at least) commentary on Weasil's murdering of the English language or, more than likely, driving the recipient of this extraordinary exchange up a pole.
When I notified him of what he'd done, he couldn't care less. I even said half in jest, "Hey, I'll use this on me blog!" and he said, "Go fur it. Itz old anywayz." Well, R. Linda, that be precisely what I am doing, "going for it," and well, with a bit of manipulation, here is the sad state of Weasil's crimes of butchering the Queen's English and driving someone else (besides the rest of us) to the looney bin.
The Someone Else writes:
C,
It is nearly impossible to read at one sitting your email. It gets frustrating enough it's putdownable. Yet, there is a unique collection of fabulous trivium that catches the eye. What other person can boost an index of words so misspelt and misplaced that they still seem to make sense? That includes whip lengths of sentences that go nowhere and somehow mysteriously, on their own, slap one in the face upon their return! How do you do that? This is not a compliment, by the way. You have managed in one sentence to commit seven deadly sins all at once: duelling with dwarves (???), egg sizes (???) and election results (???). I have to wonder where else I am to find packed into one page, i.e. the names of golf strokes, a history of Hat Tax, cricketing dismissals, nouns of assemblage, betting-odds slang, and the flag of Micronesia? Seriously C?
Where else I want to know but in your miscellany of original new words can I stubble upon John Lennon's cat, the supplier of bagpipes to the Queen, the twelve labours of Hercules, and the brutal methods of murder encountered by Miss Marple? I was living in bliss, not aware of any of those things, but unfortunately for me, I now know where I can read all that rot and more! I wish your emails were entertaining, but more likely than not, they are unpredictable and utterly foolish!
Get a dictionary!
Signed: Someone Else
And not to be outdone, our sarcastic and ever-on-top-of-things Weasil wrote this back:
Sos da lowah divisi-on of da seven liberal arties taught in medieval instituti-ons of learnin' were (an yer arse will appreciate dis) grammar, logic and rhetoric (da last yer a genius at). Heehee. An just fur yer information, zoological iz da three anterior ambulacra of da echinoderm or spiked sea-urchin. Yuppers!
I noticed it took Someone Else a while to write back. I can only think he was digesting the informative info once he deciphered it.
C,
It is an unfortunate thing that nowadays, there is so little useless information. Oh, who said that? Oscar Wilde, I believe. Did he know you? I will try to contain my sarcasm, but I have a question. Do you read books? Through? From page one to the last? I ask this because I am convinced you half learned the art of reading and perfected the more refined accomplishments of skipping and skimming. I believe Thomas Aquinas said, "Beware of the man of one book!" I think he was referring to you. I suppose you knew him, too?
Thoroughly exasperated,
Signed: Someone Else
And finding that entertaining, our young scamp wrote back (sort of).
Mahawhahahahaha! Yer funny. Yer words are tellin'. I seez yer haz searched in vain fur da proper way ta express yer though-ties and feelins' with just da righty words. Took ya long enuff ta write backie, he-hee.
And the last words from Someone Else were these:
C,
I do not know what world of unreality you live in, but it seems you enjoy it there. I understand there are several, and let me say it is my fervent wish you stumble upon a dictionary in one of those worlds and find it the ultimate in fascinating things to kind of read (being your reading skills are nil) and that the final outcome of this is that you learn to spell. Please do not write me back until this event becomes a reality. Thank you so much for your time; this has been, in part, a public service announcement for the rest of us out in the real world.
Signed: Someone Else
So there you have it, R. Linda, we are not the only ones struggling with this . . . this . . . problem. Someone Else is as well, and maybe, just maybe, the young whippersnapper will take to heart his words and get himself a large Collins English Dictionary (and being the adventurous soul he is) and actually learn to spell! Or . . . not.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Well, well, well! I thought to inform the Weasil NOT to sell me the belongings he took to Colorado. And the young scamp, in turn, must have been drunker than a skunk because he sent me the wrong email. I can only think he had at least two emails open on his computer, mine and one from someone else. Well, I am sure that someone else is scratching his head, wondering what the young whippersnapper might have been explaining in the way of a few boxes of discarded memorabilia. As it was for meself, I was reading a rather amusing (to me, at least) commentary on Weasil's murdering of the English language or, more than likely, driving the recipient of this extraordinary exchange up a pole.
When I notified him of what he'd done, he couldn't care less. I even said half in jest, "Hey, I'll use this on me blog!" and he said, "Go fur it. Itz old anywayz." Well, R. Linda, that be precisely what I am doing, "going for it," and well, with a bit of manipulation, here is the sad state of Weasil's crimes of butchering the Queen's English and driving someone else (besides the rest of us) to the looney bin.
The Someone Else writes:
C,
It is nearly impossible to read at one sitting your email. It gets frustrating enough it's putdownable. Yet, there is a unique collection of fabulous trivium that catches the eye. What other person can boost an index of words so misspelt and misplaced that they still seem to make sense? That includes whip lengths of sentences that go nowhere and somehow mysteriously, on their own, slap one in the face upon their return! How do you do that? This is not a compliment, by the way. You have managed in one sentence to commit seven deadly sins all at once: duelling with dwarves (???), egg sizes (???) and election results (???). I have to wonder where else I am to find packed into one page, i.e. the names of golf strokes, a history of Hat Tax, cricketing dismissals, nouns of assemblage, betting-odds slang, and the flag of Micronesia? Seriously C?
Where else I want to know but in your miscellany of original new words can I stubble upon John Lennon's cat, the supplier of bagpipes to the Queen, the twelve labours of Hercules, and the brutal methods of murder encountered by Miss Marple? I was living in bliss, not aware of any of those things, but unfortunately for me, I now know where I can read all that rot and more! I wish your emails were entertaining, but more likely than not, they are unpredictable and utterly foolish!
Get a dictionary!
Signed: Someone Else
And not to be outdone, our sarcastic and ever-on-top-of-things Weasil wrote this back:
Sos da lowah divisi-on of da seven liberal arties taught in medieval instituti-ons of learnin' were (an yer arse will appreciate dis) grammar, logic and rhetoric (da last yer a genius at). Heehee. An just fur yer information, zoological iz da three anterior ambulacra of da echinoderm or spiked sea-urchin. Yuppers!
I noticed it took Someone Else a while to write back. I can only think he was digesting the informative info once he deciphered it.
C,
It is an unfortunate thing that nowadays, there is so little useless information. Oh, who said that? Oscar Wilde, I believe. Did he know you? I will try to contain my sarcasm, but I have a question. Do you read books? Through? From page one to the last? I ask this because I am convinced you half learned the art of reading and perfected the more refined accomplishments of skipping and skimming. I believe Thomas Aquinas said, "Beware of the man of one book!" I think he was referring to you. I suppose you knew him, too?
Thoroughly exasperated,
Signed: Someone Else
And finding that entertaining, our young scamp wrote back (sort of).
Mahawhahahahaha! Yer funny. Yer words are tellin'. I seez yer haz searched in vain fur da proper way ta express yer though-ties and feelins' with just da righty words. Took ya long enuff ta write backie, he-hee.
And the last words from Someone Else were these:
C,
I do not know what world of unreality you live in, but it seems you enjoy it there. I understand there are several, and let me say it is my fervent wish you stumble upon a dictionary in one of those worlds and find it the ultimate in fascinating things to kind of read (being your reading skills are nil) and that the final outcome of this is that you learn to spell. Please do not write me back until this event becomes a reality. Thank you so much for your time; this has been, in part, a public service announcement for the rest of us out in the real world.
Signed: Someone Else
So there you have it, R. Linda, we are not the only ones struggling with this . . . this . . . problem. Someone Else is as well, and maybe, just maybe, the young whippersnapper will take to heart his words and get himself a large Collins English Dictionary (and being the adventurous soul he is) and actually learn to spell! Or . . . not.
Gabe
Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved
