19 December 2025
Story #1143
R. Linda:
Ok, call me deprived or sheltered, but the fact remained: I'd never been to a Cracker Barrel. Never. In all the years I have expatriated meself to this country, have I ever had the desire to enter into a CB. Recently, I had to drive almost 100 miles (or at least it felt like it) to visit an eye specialist. I developed what looks like a stye that won't go away. Anyway, it's much better now, so not to worry. While I was in the town where my appointment was, I encountered a Cracker Barrel, to which me wife (who had the day off and had accompanied me to the prior appointment) suggested we go for an early dinner. However, when we got to the town where the doctor was located, we were early and, having had no lunch, stopped at the local Dunks for coffee and a sannie. After the appointment, neither of us was hungry, but since I was now curious, we went to Cracker Barrel anyway, thinking we'd shop and, if we felt peckish, have dinner there. Well, we didn't partake of the restaurant part, and I have no idea what that looks like, since it was in another room, partitioned off from the shop part. Ah, the shop, as a joke, I bought Tonya a blingy bill cap with nautical scribbles all over it. See below:
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| The Blingy Cap - that she'll never wear |
We bought items for our Yankee swap, giggling like two maniacs at how clever we were. But that ended when we came out of the aisle and walked into a couple snogging in the next one. That put us into gales of laughter as we hurried back the way we came. We went down another aisle, and there they were again. I guess our interrupting them made them go to the next aisle to continue unabated at kissy-facing. They were still at it when we checked out. Is there some kind of spray they put in the air back there to make it more amorous? We don't know, but we'll check it out next time we drop by, and I'll let you know.
Oh, me goodness me! If catching lovers in a public shop wasn't enough, we came home to this:
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| Yup, and even now, he does this every time they come for the trash |
Pushups in the driveway. Before he helps dump the dumpster's trash, he does this. I said to Tonya, it's a sure sign we have too much trash that he has to exercise first before he handles our dumpster. SIGH.
Lastly, me little apple-cheeked, grey-haired Mam be not thrilled with the new washer. Yes, indeed, she be not. We have (with three boyos) more laundry than anyone in the world. I can never get in there for the amount of dirty sorted clothing waiting its turn. Because of the washer's overuse, I've replaced it at least three times since we moved in. This last time, I thought I was a real smartiearse by buying a huge tumbler.
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| Poor Mam be so short she nearly falls in |
Each time Mam does laundry, I am informed that if she goes missing, we should look in the washing machine. I have come upon the poor soul, half in the tumbler, trying to get her clothing out for the dryer. It wouldn't be hard to lift up her legs while she's doing this and throw her in! If she were the Dragon, I'd do it. I know "Bah Humbug, Gabe!" In me defence, a man can take so much complaining, especially after he thinks he did a good deed to get the laundry in and out more efficiently and QUICKLY!
Gabe
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