27
R. Linda:
Being there is much going on in the world, the powers that be have seen fit I should write about some of it. I be still assigned to traipse after the Gov and report all the funnies that come from his mouth, but I be also covering (in me spare time when the Gov isn't about the place), the important job of peace protesting in Boston. Now there is a oxymoron if ever there was one!
Being I hale from Northern Ireland where we don't know what the word peace means exactly, and being hawkishly brought-up, this peace protesting is a world beyond me. Part of me job is being impartial to what I report, and I be hard pressed on this one, not to blurt out something hawkish when I be interviewing some sad democratic arse telling me that America and Britain be invading Iraq for the oil and the money.
Bejesus me, if I was invading Iraq that's what I would be going after, but we know that isn't what it be about. I be now in the business of stopping (more in me case -- accosting), a protester in the street while protesting, flashing me press card, asking for permission to interview, not waiting for an answer, and firing away with the question, "Why are you doing it man?"
That usually stops them in their tracks and with sign (which says NO BLOOD FOR OIL) waving in the snow, sleet, rain, wind and hail, they tell me: Because the American people don't approve of that sort of thing, it is mercenary and it would be better to go without than steal Iraq's oil.
Now here I be thinking wait a tick, we don't use Iraq's oil for one, so if we go without anyone's it would be Venezuela or Saudi Arabia. Then I think, a capitalistic society is based on some very mercenary concepts, and living in the Northeast, it gets pretty damn cold without heating oil. When I point this out to play devil's advocate, I usually get a blank look. After the momentary pause they say, "Well, the real reason I suppose is we don't like Saddam, but that's still not a good reason."
"Saddam who?" I ask like I forgot the last name.
"You know Saddam, the Iraqi leader."
"Yes, I know but what is his last name again? It be on the tip of me tongue, you brought him up now tell what is his last name again, because it will bother the bejesus out of me for the rest of the day I can't remember."
"I don't think he has one. I think it's like Cher, you know, just one name is enough."
Now it comes to me if you are protesting for or against a person, you should know his whole name.
Then just last week this sweet young thing, all of fifteen, cut classes to protest. What was she protesting? She didn't really know, but it was a fine excuse to get out of math class. When she and a swell of her peers flooded out onto the street with signs saying, IF YOU SUPPORT PEACE, HONK! and the sign she was carrying had a picture of an Arab woman holding onto her children for dear life, and above it, it said, NO MORE WARFARE! I asked the girl what she was protesting, and she flicked a finger on her sign and said, "This. No more welfare."
I looked again thinking me eyes had deceived me and sure enough what I read first 'warfare' not 'welfare' was still up there. I said, "You mean you don't want that poor woman and her children to get welfare from the USA?"
She smiled and said, "Yeah."
Poor darlin' had no clue. So I pointed out that the woman and her children were not U.S. citizens and she interrupted me and said, "Why should we pay for them if they don't live here?" Why indeed.
I was muttering to meself about how confused the poor thing was, and thought to straighten her out, but then, I smiled to meself and though, nah, let her go about thinking she's protesting something even she doesn't know what it is. She can't do math, why should I help her learn to read? Ignorance is bliss in her case.
The night of the Academy Awards I went to a party a friend of mine was holding for a young man who was leaving for Kuwait the next day. Right there you know it was to be a rousing send off. I must say I did get into the spirit of it all.
They had the Awards show on for those who cared, and at one point we all started watching when Susan Sarandon and her paramour, Tim Robbins got out of their limo and gave the peace sign with shite eating looks on both their made-up faces. This was lovely because everyone in the room gave them the finger each time they raised their hands in the sign of peace. Oh my I thought. Not only did they get the finger, but many adjectives to describe the couple was hilariously amusing when one is inebriated.
The station we watched showed Kate Hudson backstage at the Awards, and she too held up her fingers in the peace sign at the camera (but more like to us, we took it personally), and once again everyone in the room held up their middle finger to her too, and gave a great "F YOU KATE!" Then came much twittering as some traitor among us declared, "But I like Kate Hudson!" They all turned around and gave him the finger and a "F YOU JOEY!" and went back to watching who else they might present the single digit salute to.
There you are Linda, that's what I have been doing mostly since you heard from meself last. I be quite good at the single digit salute now that I've had some practice. I have learned to say the F word like an American, and I be still asking the protesters on the streets what they are protesting. I have not to this date found one that has given me a plausible answer, but me search continues, even as the protests and protesters thin out to a trickle.
I'll keep you posted if I find one that knows what they are protesting.
Gabe
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Being there is much going on in the world, the powers that be have seen fit I should write about some of it. I be still assigned to traipse after the Gov and report all the funnies that come from his mouth, but I be also covering (in me spare time when the Gov isn't about the place), the important job of peace protesting in Boston. Now there is a oxymoron if ever there was one!
Being I hale from Northern Ireland where we don't know what the word peace means exactly, and being hawkishly brought-up, this peace protesting is a world beyond me. Part of me job is being impartial to what I report, and I be hard pressed on this one, not to blurt out something hawkish when I be interviewing some sad democratic arse telling me that America and Britain be invading Iraq for the oil and the money.
Bejesus me, if I was invading Iraq that's what I would be going after, but we know that isn't what it be about. I be now in the business of stopping (more in me case -- accosting), a protester in the street while protesting, flashing me press card, asking for permission to interview, not waiting for an answer, and firing away with the question, "Why are you doing it man?"
That usually stops them in their tracks and with sign (which says NO BLOOD FOR OIL) waving in the snow, sleet, rain, wind and hail, they tell me: Because the American people don't approve of that sort of thing, it is mercenary and it would be better to go without than steal Iraq's oil.
Now here I be thinking wait a tick, we don't use Iraq's oil for one, so if we go without anyone's it would be Venezuela or Saudi Arabia. Then I think, a capitalistic society is based on some very mercenary concepts, and living in the Northeast, it gets pretty damn cold without heating oil. When I point this out to play devil's advocate, I usually get a blank look. After the momentary pause they say, "Well, the real reason I suppose is we don't like Saddam, but that's still not a good reason."
"Saddam who?" I ask like I forgot the last name.
"You know Saddam, the Iraqi leader."
"Yes, I know but what is his last name again? It be on the tip of me tongue, you brought him up now tell what is his last name again, because it will bother the bejesus out of me for the rest of the day I can't remember."
"I don't think he has one. I think it's like Cher, you know, just one name is enough."
Now it comes to me if you are protesting for or against a person, you should know his whole name.
Then just last week this sweet young thing, all of fifteen, cut classes to protest. What was she protesting? She didn't really know, but it was a fine excuse to get out of math class. When she and a swell of her peers flooded out onto the street with signs saying, IF YOU SUPPORT PEACE, HONK! and the sign she was carrying had a picture of an Arab woman holding onto her children for dear life, and above it, it said, NO MORE WARFARE! I asked the girl what she was protesting, and she flicked a finger on her sign and said, "This. No more welfare."
I looked again thinking me eyes had deceived me and sure enough what I read first 'warfare' not 'welfare' was still up there. I said, "You mean you don't want that poor woman and her children to get welfare from the USA?"
She smiled and said, "Yeah."
Poor darlin' had no clue. So I pointed out that the woman and her children were not U.S. citizens and she interrupted me and said, "Why should we pay for them if they don't live here?" Why indeed.
I was muttering to meself about how confused the poor thing was, and thought to straighten her out, but then, I smiled to meself and though, nah, let her go about thinking she's protesting something even she doesn't know what it is. She can't do math, why should I help her learn to read? Ignorance is bliss in her case.
The night of the Academy Awards I went to a party a friend of mine was holding for a young man who was leaving for Kuwait the next day. Right there you know it was to be a rousing send off. I must say I did get into the spirit of it all.
They had the Awards show on for those who cared, and at one point we all started watching when Susan Sarandon and her paramour, Tim Robbins got out of their limo and gave the peace sign with shite eating looks on both their made-up faces. This was lovely because everyone in the room gave them the finger each time they raised their hands in the sign of peace. Oh my I thought. Not only did they get the finger, but many adjectives to describe the couple was hilariously amusing when one is inebriated.
The station we watched showed Kate Hudson backstage at the Awards, and she too held up her fingers in the peace sign at the camera (but more like to us, we took it personally), and once again everyone in the room held up their middle finger to her too, and gave a great "F YOU KATE!" Then came much twittering as some traitor among us declared, "But I like Kate Hudson!" They all turned around and gave him the finger and a "F YOU JOEY!" and went back to watching who else they might present the single digit salute to.
There you are Linda, that's what I have been doing mostly since you heard from meself last. I be quite good at the single digit salute now that I've had some practice. I have learned to say the F word like an American, and I be still asking the protesters on the streets what they are protesting. I have not to this date found one that has given me a plausible answer, but me search continues, even as the protests and protesters thin out to a trickle.
I'll keep you posted if I find one that knows what they are protesting.
Gabe
Copyright © 2003 All rights reserved
