29 March 2009
258
R. Linda:
So it came to pass that after a winter of the never-ending cold, I finally decided I'd had enough and went to me doctor. There I be holding me left side thinking I was near to a heart attack or something just as horrible when the cough took over and I found meself thinking I had swallowed me gum, but no, no, it was still glued to me back molar, so when the coughing fit came to pass I sheepishly smiled at all in attendance waiting with me, that I was fine, be nothing at all. They didn't look like they believed me, after all, weren't we all in a doctor's reception room waiting our turn to find out what be ailing us?
On realisation of this fact, I took up the newspaper and put it in front of me face so they couldn't stare at me, or at least I couldn't see them staring at me, wondering what contagious disease I had. Well, lucky for them I was called next and lucky for me I wouldn't have to subject meself and them to another fit of coughing or holding me chest.
The nurse did all the particulars and found nothing as far as blood pressure and heartbeat go. She asked me why exactly I was there, and I told her all the while trying to hold back another pain-filled coughing fit. She did tell me there be this coughing thing going about and from the sound of me in the waiting room (yes, R. Linda, she heard me from way out there), it sounded, but mind me, it was only her uneducated opinion, I sounded like everyone else who had "the cough."
The doctor came in and asked, if had I been coughing blood or different colour phlegm and such and I be, no, no, none of that, and he listened to me ticker and declared it sound, but he would like to take an x-ray of the old lungs to make sure they be clear. Off I go down the hall for x-ray. This be done quickly and I be taken back to me holding cell, I mean waiting area. Soon in came doctor armed with me x-ray and he declared me lungs free of phlegm. So he says, "Gabriel, your cough could be what is making your chest hurt, you know sometimes, mostly rarely, we cough so hard we might break a rib and that would cause pain.
He tells me to take it easy there be nothing wrong but he would like one more x-ray of me ribs this time, but I can go home and he'll call if he finds any breakage. This I do, get me shirt back on and sheepishly wave to the occupants of the waiting room as I find me way out.
The next day I be at me job when the phone rings. It be the nurse and right away I say, "Did you find broken ribs?"
"No, sir we didn't. But let me ask you a question, have you been shot recently?"
SHOT? This takes me aback and I almost found it funny, but then it strikes me she must have the wrong x-ray. No, says she it be mine and there is a piece of shrapnel lodged between me second and third ribs. I tell her that be impossible and I run me hand down there and I don't feel anything, but when I press there, wow does it kill. I should make an appointment says she for doctor to go over removing the metal fragment.
I be thinking she be crazy and I said I'd call. I wanted to give me brain time to accept this far-fetched notion. I be thinking where have I been lately there be gunfire, I have no memory of such. I was grazed at Portadown way back when, but that was one shot, grazed and not in the rib area. But I was checked out and nothing else was wrong, no other bullet holes, but it had to be then, but no I could not wrap me mind around that because I knew better.
On me drive home it be when I realised the nurse was right, I had been shot but not recently, not at Portadown either, it was when I was eight years old. Me and Kenny McBride used to run about the backyards with our father's bebe guns playing Provo and Proddy and we would shoot at each other. Yeah, we hit one another every so often, and yeah it hurt, but we were mindless idiots and I vaguely recalled being shot in the side. I think I even looked for the bebe but because I could not feel it, I thought it dropped out. Well, it must have been deeper embedded than I would have thought at that tender age, and so it has been there for over 28 years (okay R. Linda get out the calculator or start counting on fingers because there be another hint at me age) and after all this time it finally started to work it's way out.
I decided to just leave it there and hope I don't ever get a coughing fit again. I know I sound the right eejit, but well who wants someone poking in your ribs for an old bebe anyway. Not me.
Gabe
Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
So it came to pass that after a winter of the never-ending cold, I finally decided I'd had enough and went to me doctor. There I be holding me left side thinking I was near to a heart attack or something just as horrible when the cough took over and I found meself thinking I had swallowed me gum, but no, no, it was still glued to me back molar, so when the coughing fit came to pass I sheepishly smiled at all in attendance waiting with me, that I was fine, be nothing at all. They didn't look like they believed me, after all, weren't we all in a doctor's reception room waiting our turn to find out what be ailing us?
On realisation of this fact, I took up the newspaper and put it in front of me face so they couldn't stare at me, or at least I couldn't see them staring at me, wondering what contagious disease I had. Well, lucky for them I was called next and lucky for me I wouldn't have to subject meself and them to another fit of coughing or holding me chest.
The nurse did all the particulars and found nothing as far as blood pressure and heartbeat go. She asked me why exactly I was there, and I told her all the while trying to hold back another pain-filled coughing fit. She did tell me there be this coughing thing going about and from the sound of me in the waiting room (yes, R. Linda, she heard me from way out there), it sounded, but mind me, it was only her uneducated opinion, I sounded like everyone else who had "the cough."
The doctor came in and asked, if had I been coughing blood or different colour phlegm and such and I be, no, no, none of that, and he listened to me ticker and declared it sound, but he would like to take an x-ray of the old lungs to make sure they be clear. Off I go down the hall for x-ray. This be done quickly and I be taken back to me holding cell, I mean waiting area. Soon in came doctor armed with me x-ray and he declared me lungs free of phlegm. So he says, "Gabriel, your cough could be what is making your chest hurt, you know sometimes, mostly rarely, we cough so hard we might break a rib and that would cause pain.
He tells me to take it easy there be nothing wrong but he would like one more x-ray of me ribs this time, but I can go home and he'll call if he finds any breakage. This I do, get me shirt back on and sheepishly wave to the occupants of the waiting room as I find me way out.
The next day I be at me job when the phone rings. It be the nurse and right away I say, "Did you find broken ribs?"
"No, sir we didn't. But let me ask you a question, have you been shot recently?"
SHOT? This takes me aback and I almost found it funny, but then it strikes me she must have the wrong x-ray. No, says she it be mine and there is a piece of shrapnel lodged between me second and third ribs. I tell her that be impossible and I run me hand down there and I don't feel anything, but when I press there, wow does it kill. I should make an appointment says she for doctor to go over removing the metal fragment.
I be thinking she be crazy and I said I'd call. I wanted to give me brain time to accept this far-fetched notion. I be thinking where have I been lately there be gunfire, I have no memory of such. I was grazed at Portadown way back when, but that was one shot, grazed and not in the rib area. But I was checked out and nothing else was wrong, no other bullet holes, but it had to be then, but no I could not wrap me mind around that because I knew better.
On me drive home it be when I realised the nurse was right, I had been shot but not recently, not at Portadown either, it was when I was eight years old. Me and Kenny McBride used to run about the backyards with our father's bebe guns playing Provo and Proddy and we would shoot at each other. Yeah, we hit one another every so often, and yeah it hurt, but we were mindless idiots and I vaguely recalled being shot in the side. I think I even looked for the bebe but because I could not feel it, I thought it dropped out. Well, it must have been deeper embedded than I would have thought at that tender age, and so it has been there for over 28 years (okay R. Linda get out the calculator or start counting on fingers because there be another hint at me age) and after all this time it finally started to work it's way out.
I decided to just leave it there and hope I don't ever get a coughing fit again. I know I sound the right eejit, but well who wants someone poking in your ribs for an old bebe anyway. Not me.
Gabe
Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved
