29 March 2012
512
R. Linda:
Not long ago I had advertised for a muse when me very own muse, yourself, was down with illness. As you know I got a few nibbles, and two applications for the job in the comment section (see 28 January 2012, Wanted Temporary Muse). I was hard-pressed to replace you but I did have one sort of funny encounter with DrivenNutz, me most outspoken follower, who told me a story about her late husband asking for waves in a chat room, and then being drowned with them to such a degree, he was never wanting nor asking for waves again. I've had me share of people sending me 'stuff' that ends in me trash all the time, and I could very well relate, but not that much and I told her that.
To give me the 'feel' for this, Driven took it upon herself to flood me with wave files. At first, they were pretty funny and then there were so many, it got a bit amusing and then finally I was near tearing me hair out when me mailbox had the other morning 459 wave files ready for download. I even wrote her and asked if she had been put out of business before she reached 500 by AOL spamming regulations. No, said she, she lost steam. Oh, OK said I. But I still wanted to get me hands on her and shake her with, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" But I did not. She's safe in Canada and well, so much for it, but I did shake her in me imagination until all the waves she had on her person fell to the ground and broke!
So me dear recovered muse, I hope you have a sense of humour. I have developed mine over countless days of wave downloads. Every time I think I have them downloaded, I sit back and sigh with satisfaction until a wee voice comes over the soundboard, "YOU HAVE POST" and what do I find? More bloody waves! I will never see the inside of me blog again. I know this now (I be sure that will make a lot of people happy and I have to wonder if this be a conspiracy). I have never in me life seen so many waves! I must have downloaded no less than 400 waves in the past three days. As it is, I get IMs asking me who I be in the bushes with. They should only know I be downloading wave files.
So, to DrivenNutz driving me nuts as well, since I have JUST finished the latest batch, I had some time to reflect upon you and I wrote this JUST for you, borrowing heavily from Poe's The Raven. I even thought to share it with me followers. And to me muse, this be why I needed you back. Enjoy, is all meant in good fun.
The Download a.k.a. The Maven
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I downloaded weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious e-mail of forgotten waves--
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a voice
Telling of some e-mail gently arriving, arriving at my computer mail.
"'Tis Tonya," I muttered, "sending to my screen name--
Only her, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished for an IM -- vainly I had sought one
From the list of screen names -- screen names from UK Born--
For the rare and radiant SNs whom the angels called the harem--
Numerous females forever more.
And the silken, sad, uncertain clicking of each screen name
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic visions never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my fingers, against the keyboard, I said repeating,
"'Tis some new SN entreating entrance at my e-mail, --
Some late screen name entreating entrance on my computer screen --
That is it and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer
"Sir," typed I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came flashing,
And so faintly the IM chime, chiming on my soundboard,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"-- here I opened up my mail --
Waves there and nothing more.
Deep into the file peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, the stillness gave no token
And the only word there spoken was the whispered words, "You've got post."
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back words, "You've got post."
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back on the screen scrolling all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard the chiming somewhat louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely that is someone on my buddy list;
Let me see, then, who there is, and this mystery explore --
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore,"
'Tis AOL acting up and nothing more!"
Open here I clicked the buddy list, when, with many a flit and sputter,
On there the list disappeared and the e-mail flag went up!
In there was a stack of e-mails, all waves and nothing more!
Not the least obeisance made them; not a minute stopped or stayed them,
But with mien of DrivenNutz, she sent me more and more till I
Stood up from my chair and horrified,
Slowly sank back and sat staring, nothing more.
Then this wave maven beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the smiley faces she sent me on my screen, I said,
"Art sure no maven."
Ghastly lost and ancient waves wandering across my computer screen --
"Tell me this is it! There is no more!"
Quoth the maven, "Even more."
Much I marvelled at this ungainly file of waves so plainly,
Though the waves had little meaning--little relevancy bore;
For I cannot help remembering I agreed, send me more!
Ever yet was blessed with more, more upon my e-mail door.
I looked again and there the Maven wrote,
"Gabe, even more!"
But the Maven, sending, sending, sending!
To my fingers so quickly typing, typing, download after download,
nothing broke the chain of waves -- not an IM not even a freeze --
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends I have no more.
Just the wave Maven and nothing more."
Startled at the stillness broken by more waves she sent betoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what she sends me is only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy wave website whom unmerciful disaster,
Flowed wave after wave faster and faster till my mailbox could take no more."
But the Maven still beguiling my sad wave fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a CD disk
And caught the waves before my hard drive dissed.
Then with shaky hands, I linked,
Wave to disk but more she sent!
Fancy unto fancy, thinking that this ominous wave maven
would send me more,
I typed to her, "Oh no, never more?!"
This I sent enraged in guessing, but on syllable expressing
To the maven whose waves come in droves,
This and more I sat transferring
By the computer screen a-glowing,
"She shall run out, ah, no more!"
Then, methought, the screen grew darker, denser; as more waves appeared.
"Wench," I cried, "thy waves have lent thee--by these waves you have sent me.
Respite--respite and release me from thy files of waves
Quaff, oh quaff this kind of treatment and forget these waves!"
Quoth the Maven, "Forever MORE!"
"Maven," said I, "woman of waves!--temptress and hacker,
Send me ONE and nothing MORE.
Be that wave our sign of parting, Maven, please before parting
Leave no more as a token of that my mind has spoken,
Quit, oh quit my computer screen!
Take thy waves from my mailbox, off my screen!"
Quoth the Maven, "LOL, Gabe, some MORE!"
And the Maven, never leaving still is sending, STILL is sending,
And her eyes have all the seeming of a wave demon's that 'tis my ending,
And the waves, the waves she is sending,
Shall be arriving--forever MORE!
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
Not long ago I had advertised for a muse when me very own muse, yourself, was down with illness. As you know I got a few nibbles, and two applications for the job in the comment section (see 28 January 2012, Wanted Temporary Muse). I was hard-pressed to replace you but I did have one sort of funny encounter with DrivenNutz, me most outspoken follower, who told me a story about her late husband asking for waves in a chat room, and then being drowned with them to such a degree, he was never wanting nor asking for waves again. I've had me share of people sending me 'stuff' that ends in me trash all the time, and I could very well relate, but not that much and I told her that.
To give me the 'feel' for this, Driven took it upon herself to flood me with wave files. At first, they were pretty funny and then there were so many, it got a bit amusing and then finally I was near tearing me hair out when me mailbox had the other morning 459 wave files ready for download. I even wrote her and asked if she had been put out of business before she reached 500 by AOL spamming regulations. No, said she, she lost steam. Oh, OK said I. But I still wanted to get me hands on her and shake her with, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" But I did not. She's safe in Canada and well, so much for it, but I did shake her in me imagination until all the waves she had on her person fell to the ground and broke!
So me dear recovered muse, I hope you have a sense of humour. I have developed mine over countless days of wave downloads. Every time I think I have them downloaded, I sit back and sigh with satisfaction until a wee voice comes over the soundboard, "YOU HAVE POST" and what do I find? More bloody waves! I will never see the inside of me blog again. I know this now (I be sure that will make a lot of people happy and I have to wonder if this be a conspiracy). I have never in me life seen so many waves! I must have downloaded no less than 400 waves in the past three days. As it is, I get IMs asking me who I be in the bushes with. They should only know I be downloading wave files.
So, to DrivenNutz driving me nuts as well, since I have JUST finished the latest batch, I had some time to reflect upon you and I wrote this JUST for you, borrowing heavily from Poe's The Raven. I even thought to share it with me followers. And to me muse, this be why I needed you back. Enjoy, is all meant in good fun.
The Download a.k.a. The Maven
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I downloaded weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious e-mail of forgotten waves--
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a voice
Telling of some e-mail gently arriving, arriving at my computer mail.
"'Tis Tonya," I muttered, "sending to my screen name--
Only her, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished for an IM -- vainly I had sought one
From the list of screen names -- screen names from UK Born--
For the rare and radiant SNs whom the angels called the harem--
Numerous females forever more.
And the silken, sad, uncertain clicking of each screen name
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic visions never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my fingers, against the keyboard, I said repeating,
"'Tis some new SN entreating entrance at my e-mail, --
Some late screen name entreating entrance on my computer screen --
That is it and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer
"Sir," typed I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came flashing,
And so faintly the IM chime, chiming on my soundboard,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"-- here I opened up my mail --
Waves there and nothing more.
Deep into the file peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, the stillness gave no token
And the only word there spoken was the whispered words, "You've got post."
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back words, "You've got post."
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back on the screen scrolling all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard the chiming somewhat louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely that is someone on my buddy list;
Let me see, then, who there is, and this mystery explore --
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore,"
'Tis AOL acting up and nothing more!"
Open here I clicked the buddy list, when, with many a flit and sputter,
On there the list disappeared and the e-mail flag went up!
In there was a stack of e-mails, all waves and nothing more!
Not the least obeisance made them; not a minute stopped or stayed them,
But with mien of DrivenNutz, she sent me more and more till I
Stood up from my chair and horrified,
Slowly sank back and sat staring, nothing more.
Then this wave maven beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the smiley faces she sent me on my screen, I said,
"Art sure no maven."
Ghastly lost and ancient waves wandering across my computer screen --
"Tell me this is it! There is no more!"
Quoth the maven, "Even more."
Much I marvelled at this ungainly file of waves so plainly,
Though the waves had little meaning--little relevancy bore;
For I cannot help remembering I agreed, send me more!
Ever yet was blessed with more, more upon my e-mail door.
I looked again and there the Maven wrote,
"Gabe, even more!"
But the Maven, sending, sending, sending!
To my fingers so quickly typing, typing, download after download,
nothing broke the chain of waves -- not an IM not even a freeze --
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends I have no more.
Just the wave Maven and nothing more."
Startled at the stillness broken by more waves she sent betoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what she sends me is only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy wave website whom unmerciful disaster,
Flowed wave after wave faster and faster till my mailbox could take no more."
But the Maven still beguiling my sad wave fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a CD disk
And caught the waves before my hard drive dissed.
Then with shaky hands, I linked,
Wave to disk but more she sent!
Fancy unto fancy, thinking that this ominous wave maven
would send me more,
I typed to her, "Oh no, never more?!"
This I sent enraged in guessing, but on syllable expressing
To the maven whose waves come in droves,
This and more I sat transferring
By the computer screen a-glowing,
"She shall run out, ah, no more!"
Then, methought, the screen grew darker, denser; as more waves appeared.
"Wench," I cried, "thy waves have lent thee--by these waves you have sent me.
Respite--respite and release me from thy files of waves
Quaff, oh quaff this kind of treatment and forget these waves!"
Quoth the Maven, "Forever MORE!"
"Maven," said I, "woman of waves!--temptress and hacker,
Send me ONE and nothing MORE.
Be that wave our sign of parting, Maven, please before parting
Leave no more as a token of that my mind has spoken,
Quit, oh quit my computer screen!
Take thy waves from my mailbox, off my screen!"
Quoth the Maven, "LOL, Gabe, some MORE!"
And the Maven, never leaving still is sending, STILL is sending,
And her eyes have all the seeming of a wave demon's that 'tis my ending,
And the waves, the waves she is sending,
Shall be arriving--forever MORE!
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
