Message In A Bottle

04 July 2026

1181

R. Linda:

Trying to have a good time, I was determined to forget the past two days. The kiddos wanted to go to the shops in Hyannisport, so off we went. I spent a lot of time in the fudge shop and probably spent a year's salary on fudge, but it was so worth it. The two older boyos took off on their own while Tonya and Mam dragged the wee one with them to the boutiques and such, which I be sure he did not enjoy. I gave everyone a time to meet up for lunch, and then we'd go back to our private beach for the day. 

So far so good.

When we got back, I was the first to hit the beach. I was sitting there, sunglasses on, watching the waves and lost in me thoughts when me eyes jogged me brain that something was bobbing on the waves.

"Not again," I muttered to meself. I squinted me eyes trying to see what it was this time. "Probably me sub sannie from the other day." I mused. 

As it drifted closer towards the shore, I saw it was an amber bottle. Right away, I was thinking people are such prats for not putting their garbage in the bin, instead of throwing it into the ocean. I got up to retrieve the offending thing and put it in the trash when I saw it was a corked bottle sealed with red wax. 

I picked it up after chasing it in the waves for a few minutes, and wouldn't you know it, it was a message in a bottle! Well, I was thrilled, I was. What could the message be, I wondered. I was expecting pirate secrets, or something that told of a treasure, I don't know, me inner kid was coming out. I took it back to where I had me deck chair and used a sharp-edged rock to cut through the seal. Then I thought, no, I should wait for the family to come out to share me great find. 

When they arrived, I held up the bottle for them to see what I had. I shook it so they could see the rolled paper inside. Everyone was in disbelief, but then they were as mystified as I was. 

"Open it, Da, please," The wee one pleaded.

"Okay, give me a moment." 

Everyone was chattering and wondering what was written, so with a flourish I popped the cork, turned the bottle upside down, and slid the message out. 

"Okay now, are ye all ready?" I smiled.

"WE ARE!" They shouted in unison.

And so I unrolled the parchment, yes, R. Linda, it was parchment, and I was now certain it was some old treasure map! 

I had a toothy grin on me face, I was sure, and I shouted out the contents as me smile faded. 

"It says, 'Please recycle this bottle.'"

"Ohhh," they all said in disappointed unison and walked away to set their places up on the beach. 

YUP, I should have trusted me first instinct

"Well, then," I said to no one. I walked up to the porch and recycled that bottle in the trash, I did.

"Mission accomplished," I announce upon me return. 

I was so mad at meself for letting that episode get the best of me and in front of an audience, ok, me own family, but still. 

I decided I was not in the mood to sit on the beach, so I told everyone I was going for a walk down the beach. 

"If you see any interesting seashells, will you bring them back for me?" Tonya asked sweetly. 

Well, for sure, so I left her to her romance novel, the kiddos super-soaking each other in the surf, and Mam putting sunblock on herself.

I wandered down the beach a ways collecting shells, telling meself I'll turn around "in another minute." I walked quite a way and had a vast collection of shells. I thought it was an excessive collection of shells and should start back. But then I saw another shell a few yards ahead, and so I went and picked it up. It had a crab inside it that was none too happy to be lifted in the air with its home and dropped into a pile of shells in me shirt. Instantly, I saw it, and before it could latch onto me fingers, I put it back. I told meself that was a sign, so I would head back.

Only when I turned around, the incoming tide had cut me off from the other side of the beach. I looked around and realised I was way down by the dunes, and an outcropping was above me. What to do? I would have to swim, I thought, but then I'd have to ditch all the shells. I was looking closely at the water, but it did not look very deep. I stood there for a bit contemplating me next move. I could walk back across it before the tide came fully in. Easy-peasy.

I took a step forward and was startled by a sound above me. I looked around and saw a busload of tourists getting off at the overlook to take in the view. I realised I was part of the view. 

Just as I started off, a rogue wave soaked me to the waist, just as all the tourists got to the overlook. There had to be forty strangers watching me. I was hit with another wave, this one bigger and more powerful, which almost sent me flying off me feet. I caught me shirt full of shells just in time to keep them from being swept away, when suddenly forty strangers applauded me efforts.

I did the only thing I could: I waved at them and continued on, being buffeted by the waves all the way across. When I reached the other side, I could hear them clapping for me. I tell ya, anytime I am caught in an embarrassing situation, I always seem to have an audience I don't need. 

Gabe

Copyright © 2026 All rights reserved