Ex-boyfriend: "Come Get Your Shite!" OR, Amazon Driver: "I Picked Me Up Some Free Stuff" - Only In New Hampshire

05 June, 2025

Story #1136

R. Linda:

I have been told by me Jersey girl wife that people in New Hampshire are quite a bit different from those in other parts of the country. Not just people, but things in general have a distinct edge to them than elsewhere in the "more refined world," according to Tonya.

This is half complaint and half explanation of why things and people are the way they are in this very scenic state. Being from Northern Ireland, everything here presents a cultural challenge. 

Besides having few street lamps and lots of dirt roads, there is the matter of garbage pickup. There isn't any. You pack your bins and take them to the dump, also known as a transfer station, to those with a bit of decorum. This has created the problem of what to do with heavy furniture, especially if heaven forbid you don't have a pickup truck. Because if you have one of those, you can unload your unwanted tables and chairs at the dump, and THEY just happen to have a section called "Second Pickings!" Yes, it's free junk if you want whatever is dumped there. But not everyone has a pickup truck. However, the problem is solved easily by leaving it at the end of your driveway. Some put a 'FREE' sign on the items, while others just dump them there and hope they disappear overnight. 

That brings us to dating in the great state of New Hampshire, or the lack thereof. I know, Gabe is off-topic, but hear me out; this bit ties in. I have only heard and seen transplants of a certain age who actually 'date.' The native population does what it calls meet-ups at the sandpit, or the quarry, or at the local imbibing establishment. No one dates, no one knows what that means. Case in point: Tonya's friend Dawn. Ah Dawn, I don't think she finished high school or maybe elementary school, no matter Dawn is all about Dawn and no one else, unless it is some guy she sees is going to buy her presents (and we aren't talking jewellery, we are talking potato chips, a candy bar, yup, a cheap date). Her relationships, for want of a better word, are filled with chaos. Always a crisis going on, never her fault, never. She prefers a man who may have her come live rent-free with him, where she can bring her furniture, cat, and car. Yeah, that kind of guy will do very nicely. And don't be fooled, there are a lot of those guys up here. The problem on both sides is that if they aren't doing drugs, they are heavily into alcohol or both. So, no one expects much, or even has dreams of the corporate world. Instead, it's dirt biking, camping, fishing, 4-wheeling, cutting down trees (of which they will never make a dent, as there are so many), drinking and the ongoing weekend partying! Mostly the latter.

Now that you know the mindset and culture, let me delve more into Dawnie. Her last job was a gift card scam. The individuals who ran this scam have since been caught, and if you watched the national news, they made headlines. After that, Dawnie decided to become a DoorDash driver. In this environment, that is a step up. However, Dawnie has a gambling habit, and well, most of her paycheck goes to the casinos in Massachusetts. The pay and the habit put the cabash on Dawnie paying rent. What to do? You find a guy and move in with him. And that's precisely what she did. 

She told Tonya she was in love with this man. And Tonya met him and thought he was more in love with Dawnie than Dawnie was with him. But within a week or so, things went south. He told her to leave. She said she couldn't, so she stayed. They tried again, but nope, it was the same situation all over again. This time, she called a couple of her girlfriends, and one of them took her in (the husband not happy about this). She hadn't been in her new digs but a day before she went out to a bar that she knew the former beau frequented, and what did she do? She met another guy to make the old beau jealous. Well, it did make him jealous, but it also made him see her for what he thought she was, a mooch. To rub salt into his already festering wounds, she left with the new guy and had a sleepover, which the old flame knew was happening. 

A day or so later, after many angry texts between Dawnie and her old flame, he told her to come over and retrieve her furniture from his house. When she didn't do it, he loaded everything up at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. and put what he could in his truck, then drove to the house where Dawnie was staying. He dumped it all at the end of the driveway and then texted her to let her know that the rest of her furniture would be left at the bottom of his driveway, and she could come get it herself. 

You can see where this is headed. The text woke Dawnie up, it did. She looked out the window, and sure enough, most of her stuff was at the end of her friend's driveway. Well, this started a texting war back and forth, and while this was going on, the Amazon deliveryman pulled in to deliver an overnight package to the owner of the abode. As he went back to his truck, he inspected the furniture and decided it was free (as is usually the case) and began to load it into his van. 

That woke Dawnie up instantly. Throwing on some clothes she ran out yelling at the driver to "Put my shit back!"

The delivery driver was stunned and apologised, saying he thought it was free. Given the big van, you can imagine the rest. He unloaded it all and took off, never to be seen again. However, Dawnie had another problem: the rest of her belongings were sitting at the bottom of another driveway, four towns over. 

Wondering if the Amazon man was headed in THAT direction, she realised he was!

Well, rest assured, she zoomed over there after calling several friends with trucks to help her, but none were available, so she packed up what she could in her compact car. What she couldn't, she left. Yes, just left it there. She has no idea what she has or what she left behind. OR, if the Amazon man had beaten her to it. Yes, I'm sure this coming weekend she can go back over to the ex's abode to the yard sale I'm sure he will be having. When he said he wanted her stuff out, he meant it, by golly, by gee. 

And the Amazon guy? Who knows, but I did see something that said, "I picked me up some free stuff at a delivery stop this a.m." Hmm, could it be?

Just a slice of life in this here old state of New Hampshire. 

Gabe

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