30 March 2020
980
R. Linda:
After taking a tumble the other morning on black ice, I find I can now walk a little with one cane instead of two. I have only screamed in pain a half dozen times today, so making progress. The cat thinks the canes are rubbing posts and slows me down, but other than that I be doing super.
I have had a time of it sitting down. Once in a chair I cannot get up. Forget lying in a bed, you might as well leave me there to die, because the pain on moving or even TRYING to obtain an upright position be too intense in the pain department -- and I whimp out. So learning to sleep upright in a chair be a revelation to meself that it be just as painful as lying in a bed.
All around me are the two women of me house cleaning and disinfecting and doing a wonderful job to keep our environment a healthy one as we weather the pandemic. However, I feel very guilty asking them to bring me things since I can't do for meself, so I have enlisted the small mechanic in the house to literally pull some strings and help me in me limited capacity to make a pulley system from the kitchen to the living room where I be prisoner of me back.
He found clothespins in the basement from where I have no clue, but was able to rig a double string pulley of sorts, from the lamp next to me to the pot holder thingee in the kitchen, so that he could clip a bag of crisps to the string and all I had to do was pull it to me and he pulled the string back to retrieve the clip. This was working great while the ladies were upstairs cleaning. He even clipped a ham sandwich to the string and but for the dripping Colman's, I was able to pull it to me. As it was almost in me clutches the dog came and with it's snappy jaws got the sanny before I did! Of course, the dog cleaned up the mustard mess on the floor before the ladies could see it which was the only good thing, but I do wonder how its stomach was handling the spice. Then I remembered if that dog will eat tin cans and nothing happens, a little spicy mustard won't do a thing. We must perfect the use of condiments on sannies.
We worked to heighten the string up so the dog couldn't jump and get it. This we accomplished (without the mustard) by the third try because el dog got the next sanny as well. Problem was instead of using the lamp base (which almost fell to the floor because of doggy jaws pulling down on sanny and string) was me using me two canes as a system to let the strings slide high in the air out of reach of jumping dog. I will give her that, she was persistent and the word "NO!" means nothing.
As for drinks, the wee one uses those paper dixie cups. He clips one half full to the string system, I gently pull, and Bob's your uncle, I have a drink or in some cases a sip, but we are perfecting it! And yes, the dog cleaned the spillage up as well because at first we were both overly confident idiots we could do a full cup. Uh no. The child does in fact tell me we are building up our "guns" so we will have muscles like Schwarzenegger by the time I regain me back health. When Guido heard this, he instantly took over in the pulley department because as you already know, he be the athlete in the family and if anyone is going to have big muscular arms, it's going to be him!
Of course, if we hear either of the ladies coming down the stairs the pulley system disappears in a flash. Yes, me boyos are quick and quick witted because we know their mother will shut it down and me Mam has no problem waiting on me and I don't want to spoil her pleasure to do just that.
The only bad on this besides the back pain be I be subject to constant news on the pandemic. I can't get away from it. I get conflicting reports on all the newscasts and forget the politicos who say one thing and then someone steps up to the mic and says another. I would throw me arms up if I could do it without howling in pain. So I have taken to recording programs so there be no commercials about you know what, and what happens? Take the other night, Grey's Anatomy came on (Tonya's fav show) and there be this beep beep beep and under the picture a banner appears all about the latest on the pandemic. I can't get away from it. It addles me brain it does. We be doing everything we are supposed to, no outside visitors, no going out for pizza, staying inside and when we go out we don't leave the yard. We are all aware of the danger and what be going on, and we be following the directions we were told too, so a little relief from it for just an afternoon or evening would be such a special thing.
I have read and re-read books. I have played games with the help of the youngest moving me man across a board, card games, naughts and crosses, etc., and being bored out of me skull I sleep a lot in me chair. That be until the cat jumps on me lap and starts rubbing up against me face with his wet nose, me trying to brush him away but unable (because to lift me arms HURTS), and what happens be shouting for help when someone, usually me Mam, comes and retrieves that offending animal and I be left breathing in fur that flew when she lifted him away. I tell ya, I can't cut a break right now.
Gabe
Copyright © 2020 All rights reserved
980
R. Linda:
After taking a tumble the other morning on black ice, I find I can now walk a little with one cane instead of two. I have only screamed in pain a half dozen times today, so making progress. The cat thinks the canes are rubbing posts and slows me down, but other than that I be doing super.
I have had a time of it sitting down. Once in a chair I cannot get up. Forget lying in a bed, you might as well leave me there to die, because the pain on moving or even TRYING to obtain an upright position be too intense in the pain department -- and I whimp out. So learning to sleep upright in a chair be a revelation to meself that it be just as painful as lying in a bed.
All around me are the two women of me house cleaning and disinfecting and doing a wonderful job to keep our environment a healthy one as we weather the pandemic. However, I feel very guilty asking them to bring me things since I can't do for meself, so I have enlisted the small mechanic in the house to literally pull some strings and help me in me limited capacity to make a pulley system from the kitchen to the living room where I be prisoner of me back.
He found clothespins in the basement from where I have no clue, but was able to rig a double string pulley of sorts, from the lamp next to me to the pot holder thingee in the kitchen, so that he could clip a bag of crisps to the string and all I had to do was pull it to me and he pulled the string back to retrieve the clip. This was working great while the ladies were upstairs cleaning. He even clipped a ham sandwich to the string and but for the dripping Colman's, I was able to pull it to me. As it was almost in me clutches the dog came and with it's snappy jaws got the sanny before I did! Of course, the dog cleaned up the mustard mess on the floor before the ladies could see it which was the only good thing, but I do wonder how its stomach was handling the spice. Then I remembered if that dog will eat tin cans and nothing happens, a little spicy mustard won't do a thing. We must perfect the use of condiments on sannies.
We worked to heighten the string up so the dog couldn't jump and get it. This we accomplished (without the mustard) by the third try because el dog got the next sanny as well. Problem was instead of using the lamp base (which almost fell to the floor because of doggy jaws pulling down on sanny and string) was me using me two canes as a system to let the strings slide high in the air out of reach of jumping dog. I will give her that, she was persistent and the word "NO!" means nothing.
As for drinks, the wee one uses those paper dixie cups. He clips one half full to the string system, I gently pull, and Bob's your uncle, I have a drink or in some cases a sip, but we are perfecting it! And yes, the dog cleaned the spillage up as well because at first we were both overly confident idiots we could do a full cup. Uh no. The child does in fact tell me we are building up our "guns" so we will have muscles like Schwarzenegger by the time I regain me back health. When Guido heard this, he instantly took over in the pulley department because as you already know, he be the athlete in the family and if anyone is going to have big muscular arms, it's going to be him!
Of course, if we hear either of the ladies coming down the stairs the pulley system disappears in a flash. Yes, me boyos are quick and quick witted because we know their mother will shut it down and me Mam has no problem waiting on me and I don't want to spoil her pleasure to do just that.
The only bad on this besides the back pain be I be subject to constant news on the pandemic. I can't get away from it. I get conflicting reports on all the newscasts and forget the politicos who say one thing and then someone steps up to the mic and says another. I would throw me arms up if I could do it without howling in pain. So I have taken to recording programs so there be no commercials about you know what, and what happens? Take the other night, Grey's Anatomy came on (Tonya's fav show) and there be this beep beep beep and under the picture a banner appears all about the latest on the pandemic. I can't get away from it. It addles me brain it does. We be doing everything we are supposed to, no outside visitors, no going out for pizza, staying inside and when we go out we don't leave the yard. We are all aware of the danger and what be going on, and we be following the directions we were told too, so a little relief from it for just an afternoon or evening would be such a special thing.
I have read and re-read books. I have played games with the help of the youngest moving me man across a board, card games, naughts and crosses, etc., and being bored out of me skull I sleep a lot in me chair. That be until the cat jumps on me lap and starts rubbing up against me face with his wet nose, me trying to brush him away but unable (because to lift me arms HURTS), and what happens be shouting for help when someone, usually me Mam, comes and retrieves that offending animal and I be left breathing in fur that flew when she lifted him away. I tell ya, I can't cut a break right now.
Gabe
Copyright © 2020 All rights reserved
2 comments:
ROFLMAO we talked about another mishap and it happened! LOL why wasn't the sanny in a zippy bag? The drink in lightweight travel bottle? I laughed until I had tears with the jumping dog. You and the boy were creative to send snacks back and forth get better soon so you can get Into more trouble.
sorry but your story is funny even if you are in pain
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