11 July 2019
Story #961
R. Linda:
I was not born when the hippy era was alive and well, so I be not used to hippiedom. As a matter of fact, I know little to nothing about it. Oh, on occasion, someone would point out a hippy person, but I had no contact with them, so like I said, clueless, be me. However, I can spot a hippy, oh yes, I can. I know the dirty jeans look sometimes ripped, but always faded. The underwear type shirt sometimes with holes but always misshapen, and the long unwashed hair, dusty sandals and lean look with the wrinkles of a Mary Jane life not age on the face where crows feet are pronounced from too much sun.
What brings this up, you may ask? Well, it was me first meeting on a one-to-one basis with a hippy person. Yes, indeed, a first for me, who has had many bizarre firsts. This one, well, I never thought in all me life that a hippy was in me future—until today, that is.
I have off, and Mam had left early for the town supper planning, an institution in our small village. They hold suppers the third Thursday of each month, so off she went. Me wife be a member of the library committee, and this month is Smokey Bear's 75th birthday. Our little village was selected as one of six New Hampshire towns to host Smokey's party. Tonya was off helping with that.
That left me with the three kiddos. Yesterday was about the same, but I took them out for pizza and then ice cream and managed to kill three hours where otherwise I'd be breaking up fights, listening to loud, headless music, or being asked, "What can we do now?" Since I did that all yesterday, I was racking me brain on what to do today to distract them. But as Tonya was leaving, she informed me that the smallest of the crew was being picked up by someone named Brendan, who was taking his son and ours swimming. OK, that was great, one less mouth to ask me "what can we do now?" The other two were content to be on their electronics, so it was a day off. Yes, I notice that hell usually breaks loose when the wee one is in residence.
So I was told Brendan (whom I do not know) would be by at ten. I got the child up, dressed, fed, packed swimming trunks and a towel, and ten came and went. I get a phone call from Tonya around a quarter to eleven informing me that Brendan just got up and is on his way. Must be nice to be able to sleep in. With this news I made sure the wee one was ready and well the eldest had been in the room where I could hear screaming and upon opening the door, the eldest was straddling the youngest who was screaming at the top of his lungs and it was all play, but you'd think he was being killed. I had to re-brush hair, straighten clothes, re-find shoes that had been kicked off, get the towel back in the bag with the trunks and then we waited AGAIN.
So this beat up old Cadillac pulls up and I am rushing the wee one down the stairs to get him off and this blue hippy (he was entirely in blue denim) comes shuffling over to me and doesn't offer his hand, no he grabs hold and gives me a limp hug, with a "Howya doin' man?"
Surprised I stuttered, I was doing ok, and here was the bag with the swimming kit, and here was the kiddo, and he says, I was going to take them to the lake. Still, I see you have to be a resident to swim there (now, mind you, I have no idea where he is from, but obviously not from the town with the lake privileges). I said that was true, and I was just on that town line, so I had no swimming privileges either. So he says I have a river behind my house, and we can go there. I was like OK, but got the impression he'd be watching the kiddos from his kitchen window while he smoked a joint. I dunno, just a weird feeling I had about that. I would say something when he cut me off and asked, "Oh yeah, ya gotta car seat?"
Oh, sure, let me get one. I went and handed it to him, and he said, "Your kid likes McDonald's, doesn't he? He is a picky eater?"
Uhhh no. So I told him his fav be peanut butter and jelly, so just give him a sandwich, and he's fine. He doesn't need McDonald's, which obviously Brendan didn't want to go to. I thought then maybe he needed money? But then he said, "PB&J perfect dude!"
Well, ok then.
He asked me what we were doing as he spied the ripped-up garden bed a few feet away. He was growing tomatoes in his garden, but his crop had failed due to too much rain. I was thinking something else was growing, not tomatoes. But I told him we were late on Tonya's garden and that opened up a whole hippy tirade on mulch vs. no mulch, vs. over-the-counter chemical sprays that can brain damage your child (but apparently not yourself) and homemade concoctions that heaven knows what effect they have on everything, including the plants. I was bored out of me mind I was. I said I had done none of that or made any of those choices, just ripped up the weeds and clotted the earth, so if the wife decides to plant, say, TOMATOES, she can.
"That's heavy, dude, go with the flow, man."
Yeah, sure, it's heavy, groovy, out of sight, and far out, man.
As you know, gardening, especially organic, be not me thing. I was saved from any more of that talk when his kid comes up and says, "I gotta pee!" and daddy Brendan says, "Me too! Let's go over to the shed." And before I could offer the water closet inside, off they went to me newly built shed with me standing there, me mouth hanging open in shock. So I called after him (as I saw a means of escape) and said I was going inside, it was too hot, have fun, see ya later.
"Peace out, dude." He calls back, unzipping his jeans.
"Oh, right on, man," I muttered as I went inside.
That was two hours ago, and he's still here wandering around the backyard doing heaven knows what. I put a call into Tonya, yes I did, I be not dealing with an ageing hippy, no no no! The eldest be a big help, he just came into me office to inform me he closed all the windows and locked the doors. Yup. And just as I finished this, the heavens opened up and it was pouring as I watched the hippy and his two charges charge for the beat up old Caddy. I hoped they'd not sit out there all afternoon, but he actually started it up and left.
Why does this kind of thing happen to me? OH, wait, doorbell.
UGH!!! Brendan, soaked like a rat, just handed me a package the deliveryman had left by me garage door. Mind you, it be wrapped in plastic so it won't get wet. Before I could say thanks, and do you need a towel, hippy Brendan flipped his faded tee shirt over his head and ran back to the old gilopy. He's outta here, I can see him through the raindrops going up the driveway. The eldest came to stand next to me and at the same time we said, not knowing the other was going to say the same thing, "PEACE OUT BRENDAN YOU COOL DUDE... NOT!"
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
Story #961
R. Linda:
I was not born when the hippy era was alive and well, so I be not used to hippiedom. As a matter of fact, I know little to nothing about it. Oh, on occasion, someone would point out a hippy person, but I had no contact with them, so like I said, clueless, be me. However, I can spot a hippy, oh yes, I can. I know the dirty jeans look sometimes ripped, but always faded. The underwear type shirt sometimes with holes but always misshapen, and the long unwashed hair, dusty sandals and lean look with the wrinkles of a Mary Jane life not age on the face where crows feet are pronounced from too much sun.
What brings this up, you may ask? Well, it was me first meeting on a one-to-one basis with a hippy person. Yes, indeed, a first for me, who has had many bizarre firsts. This one, well, I never thought in all me life that a hippy was in me future—until today, that is.
I have off, and Mam had left early for the town supper planning, an institution in our small village. They hold suppers the third Thursday of each month, so off she went. Me wife be a member of the library committee, and this month is Smokey Bear's 75th birthday. Our little village was selected as one of six New Hampshire towns to host Smokey's party. Tonya was off helping with that.
That left me with the three kiddos. Yesterday was about the same, but I took them out for pizza and then ice cream and managed to kill three hours where otherwise I'd be breaking up fights, listening to loud, headless music, or being asked, "What can we do now?" Since I did that all yesterday, I was racking me brain on what to do today to distract them. But as Tonya was leaving, she informed me that the smallest of the crew was being picked up by someone named Brendan, who was taking his son and ours swimming. OK, that was great, one less mouth to ask me "what can we do now?" The other two were content to be on their electronics, so it was a day off. Yes, I notice that hell usually breaks loose when the wee one is in residence.
So I was told Brendan (whom I do not know) would be by at ten. I got the child up, dressed, fed, packed swimming trunks and a towel, and ten came and went. I get a phone call from Tonya around a quarter to eleven informing me that Brendan just got up and is on his way. Must be nice to be able to sleep in. With this news I made sure the wee one was ready and well the eldest had been in the room where I could hear screaming and upon opening the door, the eldest was straddling the youngest who was screaming at the top of his lungs and it was all play, but you'd think he was being killed. I had to re-brush hair, straighten clothes, re-find shoes that had been kicked off, get the towel back in the bag with the trunks and then we waited AGAIN.
So this beat up old Cadillac pulls up and I am rushing the wee one down the stairs to get him off and this blue hippy (he was entirely in blue denim) comes shuffling over to me and doesn't offer his hand, no he grabs hold and gives me a limp hug, with a "Howya doin' man?"
Surprised I stuttered, I was doing ok, and here was the bag with the swimming kit, and here was the kiddo, and he says, I was going to take them to the lake. Still, I see you have to be a resident to swim there (now, mind you, I have no idea where he is from, but obviously not from the town with the lake privileges). I said that was true, and I was just on that town line, so I had no swimming privileges either. So he says I have a river behind my house, and we can go there. I was like OK, but got the impression he'd be watching the kiddos from his kitchen window while he smoked a joint. I dunno, just a weird feeling I had about that. I would say something when he cut me off and asked, "Oh yeah, ya gotta car seat?"
Oh, sure, let me get one. I went and handed it to him, and he said, "Your kid likes McDonald's, doesn't he? He is a picky eater?"
Uhhh no. So I told him his fav be peanut butter and jelly, so just give him a sandwich, and he's fine. He doesn't need McDonald's, which obviously Brendan didn't want to go to. I thought then maybe he needed money? But then he said, "PB&J perfect dude!"
Well, ok then.
He asked me what we were doing as he spied the ripped-up garden bed a few feet away. He was growing tomatoes in his garden, but his crop had failed due to too much rain. I was thinking something else was growing, not tomatoes. But I told him we were late on Tonya's garden and that opened up a whole hippy tirade on mulch vs. no mulch, vs. over-the-counter chemical sprays that can brain damage your child (but apparently not yourself) and homemade concoctions that heaven knows what effect they have on everything, including the plants. I was bored out of me mind I was. I said I had done none of that or made any of those choices, just ripped up the weeds and clotted the earth, so if the wife decides to plant, say, TOMATOES, she can.
"That's heavy, dude, go with the flow, man."
Yeah, sure, it's heavy, groovy, out of sight, and far out, man.
As you know, gardening, especially organic, be not me thing. I was saved from any more of that talk when his kid comes up and says, "I gotta pee!" and daddy Brendan says, "Me too! Let's go over to the shed." And before I could offer the water closet inside, off they went to me newly built shed with me standing there, me mouth hanging open in shock. So I called after him (as I saw a means of escape) and said I was going inside, it was too hot, have fun, see ya later.
"Peace out, dude." He calls back, unzipping his jeans.
"Oh, right on, man," I muttered as I went inside.
That was two hours ago, and he's still here wandering around the backyard doing heaven knows what. I put a call into Tonya, yes I did, I be not dealing with an ageing hippy, no no no! The eldest be a big help, he just came into me office to inform me he closed all the windows and locked the doors. Yup. And just as I finished this, the heavens opened up and it was pouring as I watched the hippy and his two charges charge for the beat up old Caddy. I hoped they'd not sit out there all afternoon, but he actually started it up and left.
Why does this kind of thing happen to me? OH, wait, doorbell.
UGH!!! Brendan, soaked like a rat, just handed me a package the deliveryman had left by me garage door. Mind you, it be wrapped in plastic so it won't get wet. Before I could say thanks, and do you need a towel, hippy Brendan flipped his faded tee shirt over his head and ran back to the old gilopy. He's outta here, I can see him through the raindrops going up the driveway. The eldest came to stand next to me and at the same time we said, not knowing the other was going to say the same thing, "PEACE OUT BRENDAN YOU COOL DUDE... NOT!"
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
hippies? they still exist? i thought ozzie osbourne was the last even jagger is hip now.
ReplyDeleteOh, I thought you were a hippy?
DeleteUhhh LMAO DUDE!
ReplyDeleteI’m surprised the bloke isn’t called Leaf or some strange hippy name like that lol
ReplyDeleteLMAO you know we hen I was born so do the math! I could only be a weekend hippy because my mother was a big believer in baths. I wore the gear and hung out with the hard core hippies. But I also had to work. So my hippy time was cut short and I was clean!
ReplyDelete