26 June, 2019

King George Otherwise Known As The Black Cat Caper

26 June 2019
958

R. Linda:

I heard about this and just couldn't not share it. We all know Weasil to be the spoiled skinny rich kid right? Well, he be passing it on to his kiddos. Last week it was his daughter's birthday, you will remember her, the mad scientist of the family, anyway, I think she just turned eight or nine or maybe its ten or twelve, I don't keep up the Weasil brood to be perfectly honest, BUT for her birthday she was gifted with a rather expensive and inappropriate (in me eyes) gift. It seems the Weasil bought his wife (Amanda Panda - you remember her?) a rather expensive tennis bracelet for HER birthday. It seems he had floated around for weeks not knowing what to get 'Manda' since she pretty much buys what she wants. I was told this was Wolfie's suggestion (and he'll live to rue the day he even thought of such a suggestion).Weasil, thinking it was a good idea went out and bought the sparkly, had it gift wrapped, tagged and upon Manda's birthday presented it.

Well, Ms. Manda was thrilled, as any woman might be, but even more interested in the sparkly item was the small fry daughter (who's name escapes me because the parents named both their prodigy strange not memorable names), who immediately wanted a mother/daughter gift of same.

She made Amanda's birthday a living hell whining that she should have been gifted on her mother's big day as well because why? Because simply put SHE'S THE DAUGHTER AFTER ALL! Well, Mr. Weasil's life became an irritating mess of sorts every time he encountered the mad scientist of a daughter. He informed her that the reasons she wasn't gifted with a "prezzie" was because for 1, it wasn't her birthday, 2, a diamond tennis bracelet wasn't a gift for small fry, 3, she'd take the stones out and analyse them, and 4, NO!

His resolve was met with the daughter's resolve and the two went round and round on the subject every time she encountered her harassed father. I thought it was pretty funny meself, that the Weasil was getting a taste of his own medicine.

It turns out Weasil has no resolve, and his daughter won out. Yes, she did. So last week upon her birthday, Weasil presented her with a duplicate of her mother's bracelet but with less stones (which I surmise saved him a small fortune, not that it matters). Well, the little twerp (because that be what ungrateful spoilt children be) was not happy she didn't have as many sparkles as her mum's bracelet.

Not tolerating THAT behaviour, the Weasil chose to ignore her complaints and went on with his life as only Weasil can. HOWEVER, the daughter feeling slighted decided she didn't need an inadequate diamond tennis bracelet and so a week later after all complaining stopped, both Weasils noticed the silence coming from their daughter which was highly unusual because she be like a dog worrying a bone when she's rattled at something. Not to mention the absence of said bracelet -- nowhere to be seen, hum.

Discussing the sudden silence of complaints the two Weasils decided to hesitantly ask the daughter about the offending bracelet. This was answered with a silent shrug of the shoulders indicative of "I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know?"Asked her mum.

"I don't. I haven't seen it since . . . "

"Since when?" Weasil asked rather mystified.

"Since King George had it."

Both Weasil's mouthed "King George" and looked at each other confused.

"WHO is King George?" Mum asked very much perplexed that dead royalty was in the house somewhere and no one notified her. I tell ya!

"Since that cat was here a week ago." Was the churlish answer.

"What cat?" Weasil asked knowing perfectly well he didn't own a cat.

"The black cat, you know the stray, I called him King George."

"What does a stray cat have to do with a missing bracelet?" Her mum asked.

"Well . . . " and here was a very long, long, long pause and lots of rolling of the eyes, heavy sighs, and looking anywhere but at the two grown ups standing over her.

"Well?" Weasil prompted.

"It was a lovely cat it was . . . "

"AND?" Mum pushed.

"And, it looked so glorious and kingly wearing the bracelet round its neck . . . "

Oh the cold chills that must have run down her parents backs as they slowly realised what was being said.

"Kitty's black coat was so shiny and silky and the diamonds just made her . . . or him, look so . . . so . . . stunning!" This last said with a huge toothy smile like a light bulb had gone off and yes, that was it, kitty looked stunning! Why not?

Neither Weas nor Manda could speak, they both stood looking at the daughter with their mouths agape in disbelief as would you or I.

Well, King George has not been seen, expensive bracelet be gone for good along with the cat. Heavens knows! He or she, be probably flaunting the new collar somewhere or as Weasil suggested being chased by gypsies for that collar a sure loss and heirloom that will never be. Oh welly, as the Weasil came to say in typical Weasil fashion.

Gabe
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10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I take responsibility for suggesting the bracelet for his wife, not his daughter. No blame here. And "oh welly"? I think not oh welly, that child should be put in time out or in Weasil's case somewhere in one of his castle towers. Be good for her to think about what she's done and if the cat shows up, which I doubt will ever be seen nor heard of again, but in the off chance it does, stick in the tower with her. Serves him right!

Fionnula said...

boy oh boy oh boy! lmao weasil will never learn.

Tomas said...

LMAO I heard about this. It boils down to stupidity personified and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Sorta.

Hughes said...

LMAO priceless! Let that be a lesson to him, right?

Dew said...

I am envisaging this black cat glistening under the moonlight with his fancy collar lol

Anonymous said...

Unless it was caught in a dewy evening mist a black cat won't glisten, but the necklace will. Un huh Dew.

Dew said...

Lol. Ah but a black wolf would with or without the necklace. Touché I need a word

mobit22 said...

Oh pleeez don't start this episode of as the stomach turns. It's a story about a creepy rich kid and her clueless rich befuddled daddy. And its a funny story because it sounds just like something weaz would do

Weaz said...

Hey I resent dattie dare rich kid stuffins

mobit22 said...

Oopsies!