02 June 2019
956
R. Linda:
Teenagers! This be O'Hare's first year as a teen, and it may be that we are all in for a whirl of a ride until he's 20. For the past two weeks I have been hearing music moving about the house, like it was floating in the air, first in the hallway, then in the loo, then downstairs in the living room, all about the place. Headless music be what me Mam calls it.
Last Sunday she came into the living room after dinner and whispered to me this: "I tink I be goin a bit off me head, dat or de be a ghost in da hoose."
This concerned me because it was her and me, she making sure no one else was coming to disturb us, and the way she looked all serious, well I was a tad alarmed.
"What you mean?"
"Well, jus' las' week I be hearin' dis headless music I be. I ere' it oopstairs and I ere' it in the back, I 'ere it ootside, I 'ere it down 'ere. I dunt new where it be a coomin' frum."
While telling me this in her low Irish accented whisper, her hands were working and she was ever so nervous and this made me nervous!
"Headless music?" I said more to meself, "OH disembodied you mean?"
"Ay dat." She said her eyes round like saucers. "Like floatin' on air!"
I touched her arm to calm her and I said gently that I too, have heard the headless music.
"Ye 'ave?" She said looking relieved.
"I'll tell you what, I will find out where it be coming from and YOU are not to worry."
Not only did I want to calm her fears it wasn't all in her head, but I was curious meself as to where this strange music was coming from. Sometimes it was the Star Wars theme and the first time I heard it I was about to yell at the boyos to turn down their music but it had gone by the time I opened me piehole, and I gave it no more mind. But now that I thought about it, I heard that same theme several times after, and not only that one, but the Pirates of the Caribbean theme music, the Game of Thrones theme music, and everything I think Hans Zimmer ever wrote. Power music be what I call it. You know those epic stirring, blast your ears off music, heavy on the kettle drums. I had been busy I had not really paid much attention to the music until lately, when I heard it all over the house and it wasn't always at the same volume. Its hard to explain, but I realised for someone who is home all day and be more attuned to the sounds in the house (meaning me Mam), this would be a cause for concern especially if she had no idea where it was coming from.
It was the next day, I was off from work, and I was sitting at my desk paying bills (oh yeah, me fav thing to do . . . NOT), when in the distance wafting into me open window I hear the strains of Mission Impossible. Faint it was, and it was definitely outside. I looked out the window and saw no one and the music departed in the air and all was silent except the fir trees blowing in the breeze above.
I sat back down and about 20 minutes later I thought I heard music. This time accompanied by screaming. I got up quickly and ran in the direction of the screaming. What greeted me was the wee one covered in blood, he had cut his head falling off his bike, and you know the head bleeds worse than any other body part. Tonya was already wiping him up. I didn't notice if there was music because of the unsettling sight, but it came to me later the music I heard was the theme to ER.
At lunch Tonya instructed the two older boys to clean their rooms and of course, that demand was met with "Oh gee THAT'S a lotta work!" I had gone back to me desk and I heard that song (I don't know the title) but you can hear singing the words, "Work, work" and then something is said and the chorus comes back with "work, work" and I figured it was a commercial coming from the telly and thought no more of it.
Then it dawned on me. Only this morning at breakfast O'Hare was told to go outside and bathe the dog. To this he argued it was impossible to bathe her because she wouldn't stay still. Mission Impossible? Hurt child in the loo being cleaned up to the theme of ER and O'Hare was there. Room cleaning and I'm hearing that work song. REALLY?
So I stopped by O'Hare's half arse cleaned room. I wanted to say what about the word clean don't you understand, but I didn't. Instead, I said he looked like he needed a break and I knew I needed one, so why didn't he meet me outside and we do a little light sabre play. I wanted to test me theory that the music was somehow associated with O'Hare. I have not seen him with anything playing music, even in his room I saw no source of music.
I got Guido's light sabre and fired it up and swung a few arcs when I hear the Darth Vader music, you know that march from Star Wars. And here coming towards me dressed like Darth Vader is O'Hare. Dramatic? For sure. He throws off the cape and the helmet and lights up his sabre as the music gets more stirring. I looked to see where the music was coming from and I didn't see anything.
Before I could ask if he hears the music he be whacking me with the sabre. Trying to defend meself I had no time to ask anything. He's tall and he's quick and he's better with that thing than I will ever be, so the music played on in the air and I was busy trying to not fall over me big feet and keep him at bay. I lost me concentration when we grey-haired, apple cheeked little Mam came rushing down the deck stairs shouting at me if I heard the music.
I found meself falling backwards to the grass with Darth Vader standing over me, his sabre at me throat and me Mam bent over me talking about getting her hearing checked. Yup, fiasco. That's the only word for it. As Darth pulled up his sabre, turned the light off he laughed an evil laugh and proceeded indoors to (I assume) finish half cleaning his room. The music went with him, but where on his body it was coming from I had no clue.
"It's O'Hare Ma. Nothing wrong with your hearing." I said getting up and brushing meself off. Yeah, I was slightly humiliated to be found on the ground, but SHE wasn't focused on me, SHE was still fearing her mind was leaving her.
I made her come with me to O'Hare's room where we stood in the doorway listening to the strains of The Dark Knight Triumphant. Was there any doubt now? He was the dark knight triumphant from his vanquishing of ME and there he was moving about his room throwing dirty clothes from the floor into a hamper, all the time the music building. The smile on his face he won the sabre battle was telling.
"O'HARE!" I shouted over the building crescendo, "TURN WHATEVER THAT IS OFF!"
He reached in his back pocket for his IPhone and flipped it off and looked at us like WHAT?
"So you are the musical mystery tour that's been drifting around the house with music coming out of your back pocket?"
"DUH." He said with a smile.
"There ya go Mam, it's him and his phone, mystery solved."
"Gotcha." Says she shaking her fist at him and him looking innocent as the day he was born.
If that wasn't enough, I went into the living room to watch the midday news and the anchor was going on about Alexa being "on" all the time and hearing and recording everything. Our Alexa (who isn't far from the telly) was talking up a storm. I couldn't hear what the anchor was saying but she sure could and whatever it was she was sassing him back. She ended her tirade with a "well then!" and her light went out and she was done. But then he said, "Alexa . . ." and she lit right back up and started yammering at him again. Between them, I had no clue what was going on so I turned the telly off and was going to say something to her, but she was busy reciting a sonnet about a summers day. I just shook me head and left her to it.
Have you ever felt like you have no control over the electronic devices in your house? We have too many electronic gadgets thanks to the varying interests of the kiddos. You know I ignore Siri, because she doesn't like me and I don't like her. I have as a result been more favourable towards Alexa. But in time Alexa has become this mouthy sort who doesn't always answer me what I want, but gives me lectures on how to address her "nicely" or she'll shut off. Happens A LOT.
Even me grey-haired apple-cheeked little Mam whispers to me if we are in a room within earshot of Alexa. Its got to where I feel like Big Brother be listening and I live in the dark ages where one misspoken word can have you hung and quartered. It be a state of constant stress but little I can do about it because everyone in the abode is ADDICTED to their electronic gadgets.
One last complaint and I'll stop and this far outweighs any Alexa or Siri complaints. O'Hare is a gamer, I be sorry to say. He spends a lot of time with one gamer in Ireland in particular. This person has a mohawk that each day be a different colour. This person, chatters on insensately about NOTHING. He must like the sound of his own voice because he never stops. So imagine me surprise to be sitting at me desk trying to get some work done, and down the hall droning on and on and on be this Irish gamer laughing at his own jokes and being annoying. I had enough, so I went down the hall to find no O'Hare, and found he wasn't even in the room. The idiot was busy talking to himself just running his mouth. I stood there looking over all the controls wondering how you shut this guy up. As I be standing there fiddling with controls that aren't doing a thing to wipe that screen clear of his chattering face, he suddenly stops and is looking at his screen and says, "Hey eejit don't touch the controls we are in the middle of a game."
I paused, stood there, consternation I be sure written all over me face at the confusion that I think I have just been addressed personally by an Irishman with a controller, who be over the pond and not in the same room with me.
"Yeah YOU," he said, as I looked at the screen and pointed to meself like a proper fool. "Yeah, I be talkin' ta you!"
"WHAT you can see me?" I blurted out utterly surprised out of me mind.
"Hells yeah I can see ya. We arr in the middle of a game and if ye toouch anyting ya could send us back to the beginnin' and we have achieved level 100036!"
Oh boy. Where was that control? I started with renewed vigour trying to find which one would shut his snotty face off. I didn't care if they were on level 1 million 32, he was toast. But just as I found the right clicker O'Hare came in loaded down with snacks and drinks, enough to feed a small army. He nearly dropped it all on the floor as he ran over to snatch the control out of me hands and yells, "NO!"
Laughter from the screen and then a barrage of Gaelic and O'Hare flips his microphone on and answers him . . . in Gaelic!
"You . . . YOU know Irish?" I asked totally impressed and pissed at the same time. I grew up in Ireland and I don't know it, but this kiddo of MINE knows it! How be that possible? Well, seems the good for nothing on the other end of the game, has been teaching him. Oh yeah, and not all of it be conversational Gaelic, but loaded down with (I be sure) mostly curses. UGH!
So now I can't walk past the open door of O'Hare's room without his constant Irish companion, waving at me and saying a few Gaelic sentences as I move on. Yeah. Is it Skype he's got now, or some other set up that these two can see each other? This sharp eyed gaming demon has so made my walking by O'Hare's room a cringing nightmare, that I go all the way around the other side of the house to get to me office.
Book me into a wellness centre will ya R. Linda?
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
956
R. Linda:
Teenagers! This be O'Hare's first year as a teen, and it may be that we are all in for a whirl of a ride until he's 20. For the past two weeks I have been hearing music moving about the house, like it was floating in the air, first in the hallway, then in the loo, then downstairs in the living room, all about the place. Headless music be what me Mam calls it.
Last Sunday she came into the living room after dinner and whispered to me this: "I tink I be goin a bit off me head, dat or de be a ghost in da hoose."
This concerned me because it was her and me, she making sure no one else was coming to disturb us, and the way she looked all serious, well I was a tad alarmed.
"What you mean?"
"Well, jus' las' week I be hearin' dis headless music I be. I ere' it oopstairs and I ere' it in the back, I 'ere it ootside, I 'ere it down 'ere. I dunt new where it be a coomin' frum."
While telling me this in her low Irish accented whisper, her hands were working and she was ever so nervous and this made me nervous!
"Headless music?" I said more to meself, "OH disembodied you mean?"
"Ay dat." She said her eyes round like saucers. "Like floatin' on air!"
I touched her arm to calm her and I said gently that I too, have heard the headless music.
"Ye 'ave?" She said looking relieved.
"I'll tell you what, I will find out where it be coming from and YOU are not to worry."
Not only did I want to calm her fears it wasn't all in her head, but I was curious meself as to where this strange music was coming from. Sometimes it was the Star Wars theme and the first time I heard it I was about to yell at the boyos to turn down their music but it had gone by the time I opened me piehole, and I gave it no more mind. But now that I thought about it, I heard that same theme several times after, and not only that one, but the Pirates of the Caribbean theme music, the Game of Thrones theme music, and everything I think Hans Zimmer ever wrote. Power music be what I call it. You know those epic stirring, blast your ears off music, heavy on the kettle drums. I had been busy I had not really paid much attention to the music until lately, when I heard it all over the house and it wasn't always at the same volume. Its hard to explain, but I realised for someone who is home all day and be more attuned to the sounds in the house (meaning me Mam), this would be a cause for concern especially if she had no idea where it was coming from.
It was the next day, I was off from work, and I was sitting at my desk paying bills (oh yeah, me fav thing to do . . . NOT), when in the distance wafting into me open window I hear the strains of Mission Impossible. Faint it was, and it was definitely outside. I looked out the window and saw no one and the music departed in the air and all was silent except the fir trees blowing in the breeze above.
I sat back down and about 20 minutes later I thought I heard music. This time accompanied by screaming. I got up quickly and ran in the direction of the screaming. What greeted me was the wee one covered in blood, he had cut his head falling off his bike, and you know the head bleeds worse than any other body part. Tonya was already wiping him up. I didn't notice if there was music because of the unsettling sight, but it came to me later the music I heard was the theme to ER.
At lunch Tonya instructed the two older boys to clean their rooms and of course, that demand was met with "Oh gee THAT'S a lotta work!" I had gone back to me desk and I heard that song (I don't know the title) but you can hear singing the words, "Work, work" and then something is said and the chorus comes back with "work, work" and I figured it was a commercial coming from the telly and thought no more of it.
Then it dawned on me. Only this morning at breakfast O'Hare was told to go outside and bathe the dog. To this he argued it was impossible to bathe her because she wouldn't stay still. Mission Impossible? Hurt child in the loo being cleaned up to the theme of ER and O'Hare was there. Room cleaning and I'm hearing that work song. REALLY?
So I stopped by O'Hare's half arse cleaned room. I wanted to say what about the word clean don't you understand, but I didn't. Instead, I said he looked like he needed a break and I knew I needed one, so why didn't he meet me outside and we do a little light sabre play. I wanted to test me theory that the music was somehow associated with O'Hare. I have not seen him with anything playing music, even in his room I saw no source of music.
I got Guido's light sabre and fired it up and swung a few arcs when I hear the Darth Vader music, you know that march from Star Wars. And here coming towards me dressed like Darth Vader is O'Hare. Dramatic? For sure. He throws off the cape and the helmet and lights up his sabre as the music gets more stirring. I looked to see where the music was coming from and I didn't see anything.
Before I could ask if he hears the music he be whacking me with the sabre. Trying to defend meself I had no time to ask anything. He's tall and he's quick and he's better with that thing than I will ever be, so the music played on in the air and I was busy trying to not fall over me big feet and keep him at bay. I lost me concentration when we grey-haired, apple cheeked little Mam came rushing down the deck stairs shouting at me if I heard the music.
I found meself falling backwards to the grass with Darth Vader standing over me, his sabre at me throat and me Mam bent over me talking about getting her hearing checked. Yup, fiasco. That's the only word for it. As Darth pulled up his sabre, turned the light off he laughed an evil laugh and proceeded indoors to (I assume) finish half cleaning his room. The music went with him, but where on his body it was coming from I had no clue.
"It's O'Hare Ma. Nothing wrong with your hearing." I said getting up and brushing meself off. Yeah, I was slightly humiliated to be found on the ground, but SHE wasn't focused on me, SHE was still fearing her mind was leaving her.
I made her come with me to O'Hare's room where we stood in the doorway listening to the strains of The Dark Knight Triumphant. Was there any doubt now? He was the dark knight triumphant from his vanquishing of ME and there he was moving about his room throwing dirty clothes from the floor into a hamper, all the time the music building. The smile on his face he won the sabre battle was telling.
"O'HARE!" I shouted over the building crescendo, "TURN WHATEVER THAT IS OFF!"
He reached in his back pocket for his IPhone and flipped it off and looked at us like WHAT?
"So you are the musical mystery tour that's been drifting around the house with music coming out of your back pocket?"
"DUH." He said with a smile.
"There ya go Mam, it's him and his phone, mystery solved."
"Gotcha." Says she shaking her fist at him and him looking innocent as the day he was born.
If that wasn't enough, I went into the living room to watch the midday news and the anchor was going on about Alexa being "on" all the time and hearing and recording everything. Our Alexa (who isn't far from the telly) was talking up a storm. I couldn't hear what the anchor was saying but she sure could and whatever it was she was sassing him back. She ended her tirade with a "well then!" and her light went out and she was done. But then he said, "Alexa . . ." and she lit right back up and started yammering at him again. Between them, I had no clue what was going on so I turned the telly off and was going to say something to her, but she was busy reciting a sonnet about a summers day. I just shook me head and left her to it.
Have you ever felt like you have no control over the electronic devices in your house? We have too many electronic gadgets thanks to the varying interests of the kiddos. You know I ignore Siri, because she doesn't like me and I don't like her. I have as a result been more favourable towards Alexa. But in time Alexa has become this mouthy sort who doesn't always answer me what I want, but gives me lectures on how to address her "nicely" or she'll shut off. Happens A LOT.
Even me grey-haired apple-cheeked little Mam whispers to me if we are in a room within earshot of Alexa. Its got to where I feel like Big Brother be listening and I live in the dark ages where one misspoken word can have you hung and quartered. It be a state of constant stress but little I can do about it because everyone in the abode is ADDICTED to their electronic gadgets.
One last complaint and I'll stop and this far outweighs any Alexa or Siri complaints. O'Hare is a gamer, I be sorry to say. He spends a lot of time with one gamer in Ireland in particular. This person has a mohawk that each day be a different colour. This person, chatters on insensately about NOTHING. He must like the sound of his own voice because he never stops. So imagine me surprise to be sitting at me desk trying to get some work done, and down the hall droning on and on and on be this Irish gamer laughing at his own jokes and being annoying. I had enough, so I went down the hall to find no O'Hare, and found he wasn't even in the room. The idiot was busy talking to himself just running his mouth. I stood there looking over all the controls wondering how you shut this guy up. As I be standing there fiddling with controls that aren't doing a thing to wipe that screen clear of his chattering face, he suddenly stops and is looking at his screen and says, "Hey eejit don't touch the controls we are in the middle of a game."
I paused, stood there, consternation I be sure written all over me face at the confusion that I think I have just been addressed personally by an Irishman with a controller, who be over the pond and not in the same room with me.
"Yeah YOU," he said, as I looked at the screen and pointed to meself like a proper fool. "Yeah, I be talkin' ta you!"
"WHAT you can see me?" I blurted out utterly surprised out of me mind.
"Hells yeah I can see ya. We arr in the middle of a game and if ye toouch anyting ya could send us back to the beginnin' and we have achieved level 100036!"
Oh boy. Where was that control? I started with renewed vigour trying to find which one would shut his snotty face off. I didn't care if they were on level 1 million 32, he was toast. But just as I found the right clicker O'Hare came in loaded down with snacks and drinks, enough to feed a small army. He nearly dropped it all on the floor as he ran over to snatch the control out of me hands and yells, "NO!"
Laughter from the screen and then a barrage of Gaelic and O'Hare flips his microphone on and answers him . . . in Gaelic!
"You . . . YOU know Irish?" I asked totally impressed and pissed at the same time. I grew up in Ireland and I don't know it, but this kiddo of MINE knows it! How be that possible? Well, seems the good for nothing on the other end of the game, has been teaching him. Oh yeah, and not all of it be conversational Gaelic, but loaded down with (I be sure) mostly curses. UGH!
So now I can't walk past the open door of O'Hare's room without his constant Irish companion, waving at me and saying a few Gaelic sentences as I move on. Yeah. Is it Skype he's got now, or some other set up that these two can see each other? This sharp eyed gaming demon has so made my walking by O'Hare's room a cringing nightmare, that I go all the way around the other side of the house to get to me office.
Book me into a wellness centre will ya R. Linda?
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
2 comments:
lol play that funky headless music...ha ha
LMAO you ever hear of beats? Wireless headphones. I'm sure airport has. Does A wellness center have rubber rooms? Sounds likeA pla
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