03 December 2014
Story #758
R. Linda:
You know how much I like me turkey, and of all the American holidays, THANKSGIVING be me fav. Yes, it was. Well, not anymore; it isn't.
Let me start with Wednesday last, shall I? Me house was in a flurry of activity. Yes, it was. The turkey day shopping had been done, and the preparations for the next day were about to commence; all was right with the turkey prep world. Except for one small detail, a few of the items needed to cook the bird were sold out at the market. Oh no, what to do? I'll tell you what was done, I was sent to the store! And another small detail, it started to snow. Not flurries, I mean snow in earnest that you couldn't see two feet in front of you for the white stuff like you find in Colorado. A sheet of white be the best way to describe this. Well, okay, it started sticking on the grass, but the pavement was too warm, and this meant only one thing, since it was surmised by the womenfolk that this was a STORM, that yours truly should go out and get what was missing from the shopping list, since I was not included in turkey prep. For joy!
Here, take a look outside at the time. It was doing THIS!
So off I went, and the roads were not bad at all. I got to the small mini-mart, and I found most of what was sold out at the big market the day before and out I go into . . . into a blizzard! I was like, what happened? I was inside the market for no more than 10 minutes, and when I came out, there were two inches of snow! I got everything and meself back in the Saturn and started for home. I found someone put skis on me car because I was sliding all over Kingdom Come. Somehow, I fishtailed my way home and then had to get me vehicle up Mt. Everest, which was me neighbour's driveway. Well, R. Linda, the beginning of the drive goes straight up, so I know not to slow down, because if I do, I will slide back down. So I gun the Saturn, and like a bat out of hell, I start up. And I am almost to the top when the auto goes into a skid, and I release everything and slide back down. So I step on the gas, but me tyres spin. Again and again, the same thing: Gabriel is going nowhere. I back down the road, stop to put the gear in drive and spin the tyres again! Now I am getting frustrated, which is another way of saying I'm angrier than an Irishman banned from a pub. I back the auto down further, and before I stop, I ram the gear into drive (yes, I know I could ruin the transmission), and Gonzo's your father, I'm off like Sterling Moss in a Grand Prix start. Up that sucker, I went and slammed down on the other side, free of the incline. Because I had momentum going, I kept me big hopper on the pedal and roared past my old neighbour's house up the non-existent driveway to me abode. I vaguely remember seeing the old man's face as he looked out his large window, admiring the landscape as I sped by in a blur, a bluish silver bullet, up into the woods. I think 'amazed' and 'stunned' would adequately describe his expression.
I arrived at the abode and found that stepping on the brakes was a waste of time, as I was now driving sideways! Yes, I passed me own abode and nearly to the old shed before I stopped facing the way I came. I tell ya! Well, there was nothing to be done about that, so I shrugged, gathered the sack of missing items that were no longer missing, and out I went to find... wait for it... I was stepping out, not on snow, but on snow covering black ice, and down I went with me sack! I was floundering out there for five minutes trying to get me footing, and no one in me abode was looking out the window to help me but one person, and that person was me youngest, and he doesn't talk yet! Though it looked to me from me position on the ground that he was laughing.
I finally got meself and the sack up off the frozen ground, and I was literally ice skating without skates to my front stoop. I thought it sounded awfully quiet and realised the freaking power was gone out!
I dumped the shopping bag on the table. Immediately, I was told to go back outside to the shed where I had just been and go get dry firewood from inside because it was going to be a long day and probably night and the next day and day after that because in New Hampshire, when one loses power it isn't for an hour, no it's for WEEKS ON END!
I was mumbling it was much too early for this crap to be going down and slamming wood and generally having a free for all of wood-slinging mayhem in the shed. So I get three slippery trips of wood in with our dog bouncing around me barking because she thinks all this wood toting is fun, and finally get a couple of the hearths going, sit me exhausted self down only to be told to get up the fuel truck has pulled in and tell them we don't need fuel because we have no power. Oi! Without thinking, and as me own sainted mam had told me, I went out jacketless in the blizzard and informed the driver that we didn't want any fuel. He was happy to get the hell out of Dodge as he told me he had spent over 30 minutes trying to get up the old man's driveway to me abode. I'd say I watched him tool on up to Lois's, but the snow was so thick I couldn't see which way he went. He could be lost in the woods for all I knew.
When I entered the door, the kiddos were pointing and laughing at me, and I knew why, with a glance in the hall mirror, I looked like a snowman; that's how covered I was. Tonya gave me towels to dry off and asked me what I was doing outside without a coat. When I told her, she looked at me like I had half a brain.
"That's great, Gabriel. You saved some money, but you know the electricity will come on, and we won't have any fuel. Go back out there and hunt the fuel guy down."
Ohhh.
Ouch.
Uh no.
Yes, I had succumbed to me Irish Mam's way of stretching a pound or saving one by thinking I was still in Ireland when I realised just where I was. O M G, the woman has done things like that to me since she's been here. She lulls me into reminiscing about the old sod, and I, like a dumb eejit, starts thinking I still be there. Well, being COLD will teach me, won't it?
I was driven from me reverie by being told to go out and retrieve the generator from the shed, and to look for the fuel driver while I was at it, but this time to wear a coat, hat, goloshes, and gloves. For good measure, I stuck on me Da's old ski goggles, thinking the contraption from the 1930s would keep me eyelashes from freezing. Out I forced meself, still wet to the skin, thinking the entire time I would have pneumonia by midnight and nothing of this would matter. I don't have to tell you, I couldn't see hide nor hair of the fuel truck.
I got the kid's sleigh. I heaved the generator on it and pulled it toward the side of the house where the connections were. I got the fuel, poured it in, and then pulled on the cord to start it. Nothing. I must have pulled that cord fifty times before I remembered I didn't get the fuel pump fixed last summer, like I was reminded so often by the wife. Oh boy, was I in deep pooh? I stood there remembering the generator's problem as the fuel I had just poured in was pouring out of the bottom onto the ground. Oh, and not to mention the kiddos, when seeing me with the sleigh, had got dressed to the nines in snow gear, all for me to pull them through the heavy, thick snow to the sound of the silent generator. So I had three pointing (ok, two pointing) children telling me the generator was bleeding. I must have hurt it when I kicked it. Uh-huh.
In the process of pulling kiddos through heavy snow, I did have a reason of mind to call me old neighbour and ask him if he could look at me generator if I brought it down to his workshop by the barn. He was gracious, I should say, and so with kiddos slogging along with me, I had got the generator back on the sleigh and pulled that sucker what seemed like two miles to my neighbour.
To make a long story short, he tinkered with it and said he could rig the fuel pump with some glue because it was cracked, and he did. We had to leave it to dry, and then we'd know if it worked or not. This was after the two of us drained what was left of the fuel, which was no easy or light job.
All the way home, I was going to think of a plausible excuse as to WHY the generator was not running to tell Tonya. Still, the idea of all that glue doing the trick had me thinking it wouldn't work, no way, no how, and geez, what were he and I thinking until I stepped in the door, realising I hadn't thought of a good lie to tell Tonya. So I told her the truth, and she was not happy. No, she was not talking to me unhappily, ignoring me existence unhappily, but she did inform me not to get too cosy under down comforters because I'd be making lots of trips to the woodshed all night to keep her, me MOTHER, and the kiddos warm. Yup, got it, aye aye sir.
The stoppage of preparations for Turkey Day took place, much to me whining about how we can make do somehow. The word 'somehow' was bandied about that "Somehow YOU forget to service the generator, and now 'somehow' we all would be trying to keep warm, and somehow, we'd all be huddled together," except for ME because I'd be keeping warm by going for wood every five minutes.
Well, with the boyos' help, I got the wood stacked, so I wasn't going to the woodshed every five minutes. Me old neighbour told me the generator was taking longer for the glue to dry, but he thought by tomorrow, it would be ready to go. Just come down early, and he'll have it ready. He would invite us down, but all his family was there, and there wasn't much room, but we were welcome. I told him I had plenty of wood, and we were fine, but I was secretly disappointed the generator wasn't ready.
Meanwhile, there was no lull in the storm, and it continued. By evening, I could hear the hum of generators as I took the dog out to gather more wood. Inside the house, it was getting quite a bit cooler, unless you were seated near a fireplace, which was rather crowded. One area was pets and kiddos, the other the women, two grumpy women, so that was where there was room for me, but honestly, I couldn't bear hearing about me forgetfulness or, worse, laziness when it came to generators, so I stayed on the fringes of the warmth. I tell ya, even me green blanket was pressed into service by O'Hare putting it around the dog! I started to say something but was quickly hushed by Mam saying, "Well, sonny boy, if ye had remembered ta git da genny serviced, da dog wouldn't be cold."
R. Linda:
You know how much I like me turkey, and of all the American holidays, THANKSGIVING be me fav. Yes, it was. Well, not anymore; it isn't.
Let me start with Wednesday last, shall I? Me house was in a flurry of activity. Yes, it was. The turkey day shopping had been done, and the preparations for the next day were about to commence; all was right with the turkey prep world. Except for one small detail, a few of the items needed to cook the bird were sold out at the market. Oh no, what to do? I'll tell you what was done, I was sent to the store! And another small detail, it started to snow. Not flurries, I mean snow in earnest that you couldn't see two feet in front of you for the white stuff like you find in Colorado. A sheet of white be the best way to describe this. Well, okay, it started sticking on the grass, but the pavement was too warm, and this meant only one thing, since it was surmised by the womenfolk that this was a STORM, that yours truly should go out and get what was missing from the shopping list, since I was not included in turkey prep. For joy!
Here, take a look outside at the time. It was doing THIS!
I arrived at the abode and found that stepping on the brakes was a waste of time, as I was now driving sideways! Yes, I passed me own abode and nearly to the old shed before I stopped facing the way I came. I tell ya! Well, there was nothing to be done about that, so I shrugged, gathered the sack of missing items that were no longer missing, and out I went to find... wait for it... I was stepping out, not on snow, but on snow covering black ice, and down I went with me sack! I was floundering out there for five minutes trying to get me footing, and no one in me abode was looking out the window to help me but one person, and that person was me youngest, and he doesn't talk yet! Though it looked to me from me position on the ground that he was laughing.
I finally got meself and the sack up off the frozen ground, and I was literally ice skating without skates to my front stoop. I thought it sounded awfully quiet and realised the freaking power was gone out!
I dumped the shopping bag on the table. Immediately, I was told to go back outside to the shed where I had just been and go get dry firewood from inside because it was going to be a long day and probably night and the next day and day after that because in New Hampshire, when one loses power it isn't for an hour, no it's for WEEKS ON END!
I was mumbling it was much too early for this crap to be going down and slamming wood and generally having a free for all of wood-slinging mayhem in the shed. So I get three slippery trips of wood in with our dog bouncing around me barking because she thinks all this wood toting is fun, and finally get a couple of the hearths going, sit me exhausted self down only to be told to get up the fuel truck has pulled in and tell them we don't need fuel because we have no power. Oi! Without thinking, and as me own sainted mam had told me, I went out jacketless in the blizzard and informed the driver that we didn't want any fuel. He was happy to get the hell out of Dodge as he told me he had spent over 30 minutes trying to get up the old man's driveway to me abode. I'd say I watched him tool on up to Lois's, but the snow was so thick I couldn't see which way he went. He could be lost in the woods for all I knew.
When I entered the door, the kiddos were pointing and laughing at me, and I knew why, with a glance in the hall mirror, I looked like a snowman; that's how covered I was. Tonya gave me towels to dry off and asked me what I was doing outside without a coat. When I told her, she looked at me like I had half a brain.
"That's great, Gabriel. You saved some money, but you know the electricity will come on, and we won't have any fuel. Go back out there and hunt the fuel guy down."
Ohhh.
Ouch.
Uh no.
Yes, I had succumbed to me Irish Mam's way of stretching a pound or saving one by thinking I was still in Ireland when I realised just where I was. O M G, the woman has done things like that to me since she's been here. She lulls me into reminiscing about the old sod, and I, like a dumb eejit, starts thinking I still be there. Well, being COLD will teach me, won't it?
I was driven from me reverie by being told to go out and retrieve the generator from the shed, and to look for the fuel driver while I was at it, but this time to wear a coat, hat, goloshes, and gloves. For good measure, I stuck on me Da's old ski goggles, thinking the contraption from the 1930s would keep me eyelashes from freezing. Out I forced meself, still wet to the skin, thinking the entire time I would have pneumonia by midnight and nothing of this would matter. I don't have to tell you, I couldn't see hide nor hair of the fuel truck.
I got the kid's sleigh. I heaved the generator on it and pulled it toward the side of the house where the connections were. I got the fuel, poured it in, and then pulled on the cord to start it. Nothing. I must have pulled that cord fifty times before I remembered I didn't get the fuel pump fixed last summer, like I was reminded so often by the wife. Oh boy, was I in deep pooh? I stood there remembering the generator's problem as the fuel I had just poured in was pouring out of the bottom onto the ground. Oh, and not to mention the kiddos, when seeing me with the sleigh, had got dressed to the nines in snow gear, all for me to pull them through the heavy, thick snow to the sound of the silent generator. So I had three pointing (ok, two pointing) children telling me the generator was bleeding. I must have hurt it when I kicked it. Uh-huh.
In the process of pulling kiddos through heavy snow, I did have a reason of mind to call me old neighbour and ask him if he could look at me generator if I brought it down to his workshop by the barn. He was gracious, I should say, and so with kiddos slogging along with me, I had got the generator back on the sleigh and pulled that sucker what seemed like two miles to my neighbour.
To make a long story short, he tinkered with it and said he could rig the fuel pump with some glue because it was cracked, and he did. We had to leave it to dry, and then we'd know if it worked or not. This was after the two of us drained what was left of the fuel, which was no easy or light job.
All the way home, I was going to think of a plausible excuse as to WHY the generator was not running to tell Tonya. Still, the idea of all that glue doing the trick had me thinking it wouldn't work, no way, no how, and geez, what were he and I thinking until I stepped in the door, realising I hadn't thought of a good lie to tell Tonya. So I told her the truth, and she was not happy. No, she was not talking to me unhappily, ignoring me existence unhappily, but she did inform me not to get too cosy under down comforters because I'd be making lots of trips to the woodshed all night to keep her, me MOTHER, and the kiddos warm. Yup, got it, aye aye sir.
The stoppage of preparations for Turkey Day took place, much to me whining about how we can make do somehow. The word 'somehow' was bandied about that "Somehow YOU forget to service the generator, and now 'somehow' we all would be trying to keep warm, and somehow, we'd all be huddled together," except for ME because I'd be keeping warm by going for wood every five minutes.
Well, with the boyos' help, I got the wood stacked, so I wasn't going to the woodshed every five minutes. Me old neighbour told me the generator was taking longer for the glue to dry, but he thought by tomorrow, it would be ready to go. Just come down early, and he'll have it ready. He would invite us down, but all his family was there, and there wasn't much room, but we were welcome. I told him I had plenty of wood, and we were fine, but I was secretly disappointed the generator wasn't ready.
Meanwhile, there was no lull in the storm, and it continued. By evening, I could hear the hum of generators as I took the dog out to gather more wood. Inside the house, it was getting quite a bit cooler, unless you were seated near a fireplace, which was rather crowded. One area was pets and kiddos, the other the women, two grumpy women, so that was where there was room for me, but honestly, I couldn't bear hearing about me forgetfulness or, worse, laziness when it came to generators, so I stayed on the fringes of the warmth. I tell ya, even me green blanket was pressed into service by O'Hare putting it around the dog! I started to say something but was quickly hushed by Mam saying, "Well, sonny boy, if ye had remembered ta git da genny serviced, da dog wouldn't be cold."
Mam boiled water over the fire, and we had warm tea and cold biscuits. The turkey was fine; it was cold, so it was not going bad, but the idea of having a turkey and not getting to eat it was dispiriting, to say the least. There was some discussion on grilling it outside, but oh yes, Gabriel, let the propane run out, so THAT idea was no good. Well, we could get a giant stick and rotisserie the bird over the fire, but no, THAT idea wouldn't fly because we'd cause one hell of a grease fire and set the abode ablaze. BUT (I pointed out) we'd all be warm! No one laughed, so that was me last attempt at humour and getting into their good graces.
After a rather sleepless, cold night, the day dawned as if snow had never happened.
I went to the neighbour's, and we filled the generator and tried it, and wow, it actually held the fuel, and it worked! I packed it back up on the sleigh and installed it by the side of the house, and was ever so happy to hear the hum of the thing. I ran inside, turned on the lights, and informed the womenfolk that the turkey could be started, only to be told that the hook-up for the generator did not include the oven, only the stove, and the bird was too big for stove-top cooking. So there!
Yes, I had the electrician ensure that the heat, water, some lights, stove, and fridge were working. Not the oven, though. Yes, it's my fault once again. Say nothing; just know I can hear what you are thinking.
It was declared by me, uneducated in New Hampshire Power, little grey-haired, apple-cheeked Mam, that tomorrow we'd celebrate the day with the turkey since, for sure, the power would be back up. I looked at Tonya over Mam's head, and she looked at me like, 'Who is going to tell her and break her heart that there will be no turkey tomorrow either?' I did, yes. I had no choice because it was said to me, "She's YOUR mother, YOU tell her." Oh, the disappointment in the little woman when I had to sit her down; that she didn't up and swoon away.
We had no clue anyone but our town was without power. I found out later that this was the fourth-largest power outage ever in the state, with 60% of the population affected, including those who had roasted turkeys. I thought the mega snowstorm on Halloween a few years back was bad, but when it comes to a favourite food not being cooked on the day, well... I can only say it wasn't just us in a grumpy mood. Sixty per cent of the state was unhappy, a clear reason for revolt against the power companies.
For a whole day, we saw no power crew, we heard nothing and certainly smelled no turkey dinner cooking. The next day, being in a fouler mood, it dawned like this:
Shortly after I took this picture, I ran out of petrol for the generator. Yup. Not only that, but I also ran out of petrol for the furnace. Oh, and yes, you know it, I heard about both. I called the fuel people and asked them to come and put fuel in the furnace tanks. Then I siphoned petrol out of my car for me generator. Yes, I did. So my generator fired up, but me auto didn't. But at least I wasn't driving around looking for a petrol station, which I already knew wasn't open, as no one had power restored at that time.
The fuel guy pulled up, none too happy to have had to attempt Mr. Everest a second time when the first would have been enough -- had I let him fill the tanks. The lack of turkey made him as grumpy as the rest of us, I suppose.
It was shortly after I drained me auto of fuel, which I had thought twice of doing, that the power came on, and now I had an auto that had no petrol. Yes, Murphy's Law is alive and well and still incorporated at me abode!
Anyway, the turkey was a few days late, and it wasn't as wonderful a dinner as it usually is because we were all still fighting off the chill and grumpy from having to entertain each other (if you can call it that). The worst thing about losing power wasn't the loss of a hot, delicious turkey dinner; no, it was the fact that we had NO CABLE!
We had no news of the outside world, AND worst of all, there was no TELLY to watch. No, notta, nothing. I tell ya, one can lose one's sanity without Cable TV. When forced to talk with family members, fighting or misunderstandings ensue. Board games one can play for just so long before rampant cheating starts, and more arguments destroy any fun one might have had as a cheating winner. There was, however, that little detail that has been very painful to write about. I don't understand why me emails all come once a day, and I could send but one email, and that was it. The wife was upset over all the discount coupons for Black Friday and similar events; she couldn't print them off or retrieve them. Me, it was the freaking CABLE! How can we send emails and receive them, but not have a cable? I simply don't understand.
I wanted to share the misery with your wee self since I know you've been there, done that.
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
After a rather sleepless, cold night, the day dawned as if snow had never happened.
 |
| Glorious Thanksgiving Day, and well... still no power. |
Yes, I had the electrician ensure that the heat, water, some lights, stove, and fridge were working. Not the oven, though. Yes, it's my fault once again. Say nothing; just know I can hear what you are thinking.
It was declared by me, uneducated in New Hampshire Power, little grey-haired, apple-cheeked Mam, that tomorrow we'd celebrate the day with the turkey since, for sure, the power would be back up. I looked at Tonya over Mam's head, and she looked at me like, 'Who is going to tell her and break her heart that there will be no turkey tomorrow either?' I did, yes. I had no choice because it was said to me, "She's YOUR mother, YOU tell her." Oh, the disappointment in the little woman when I had to sit her down; that she didn't up and swoon away.
We had no clue anyone but our town was without power. I found out later that this was the fourth-largest power outage ever in the state, with 60% of the population affected, including those who had roasted turkeys. I thought the mega snowstorm on Halloween a few years back was bad, but when it comes to a favourite food not being cooked on the day, well... I can only say it wasn't just us in a grumpy mood. Sixty per cent of the state was unhappy, a clear reason for revolt against the power companies.
For a whole day, we saw no power crew, we heard nothing and certainly smelled no turkey dinner cooking. The next day, being in a fouler mood, it dawned like this:
 |
| Really cold that the snow wasn't melting |
Shortly after I took this picture, I ran out of petrol for the generator. Yup. Not only that, but I also ran out of petrol for the furnace. Oh, and yes, you know it, I heard about both. I called the fuel people and asked them to come and put fuel in the furnace tanks. Then I siphoned petrol out of my car for me generator. Yes, I did. So my generator fired up, but me auto didn't. But at least I wasn't driving around looking for a petrol station, which I already knew wasn't open, as no one had power restored at that time.
The fuel guy pulled up, none too happy to have had to attempt Mr. Everest a second time when the first would have been enough -- had I let him fill the tanks. The lack of turkey made him as grumpy as the rest of us, I suppose.
It was shortly after I drained me auto of fuel, which I had thought twice of doing, that the power came on, and now I had an auto that had no petrol. Yes, Murphy's Law is alive and well and still incorporated at me abode!
Anyway, the turkey was a few days late, and it wasn't as wonderful a dinner as it usually is because we were all still fighting off the chill and grumpy from having to entertain each other (if you can call it that). The worst thing about losing power wasn't the loss of a hot, delicious turkey dinner; no, it was the fact that we had NO CABLE!
We had no news of the outside world, AND worst of all, there was no TELLY to watch. No, notta, nothing. I tell ya, one can lose one's sanity without Cable TV. When forced to talk with family members, fighting or misunderstandings ensue. Board games one can play for just so long before rampant cheating starts, and more arguments destroy any fun one might have had as a cheating winner. There was, however, that little detail that has been very painful to write about. I don't understand why me emails all come once a day, and I could send but one email, and that was it. The wife was upset over all the discount coupons for Black Friday and similar events; she couldn't print them off or retrieve them. Me, it was the freaking CABLE! How can we send emails and receive them, but not have a cable? I simply don't understand.
I wanted to share the misery with your wee self since I know you've been there, done that.
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
i thought you dropped off the face of the earth! sorry your holiday was a working one lamo. love the pictures looks like up here but with more fields. keep writing!
ReplyDeleteRoflmao YUP BUT have you ever thought of an electric roasting pan when power came in? Oh well,you should have made a snow angel. I think only good thing s for you since you seem to be wearing a kick me sign.
ReplyDeleteSnow and you didn't snowshoe? You stayed huddle inside by a fire all day? Man, you could have taken advantage of some great weather! I was stunned you had a new story up, I thought you retired!
ReplyDeleteOh funny fella you be. Retired? Yeah like me muse would allow THAT to happen.
DeleteHe CAN'T retire I wont let him!
ReplyDeleteSee, the old ball and chain, LMAO
DeleteI remember the floods more than the power outages. However, I did laugh at you, you do always get into trouble even when you mean not to. I thought with your disappearance you had left us all to our own devices, but when I saw the new story, I thought it an early Yule gift you were gracing us once again with your humour. Don't make it a one time gift, I for one, need your stories. Keeps me from the deep end of things. Ah and Gabe, be nice to your Muse or I'll take her away, she does so like my hair.
ReplyDeleteI have a bone to pick with You sir. I hear you were in me neck of the woods visiting relatives in New Hampshire. Notta jingle, notta text, notta word. I feel I be chopped liver. And hands off the Muse!
DeleteGabe, I don't know of whom you are referring. I have no relatives in New Hampshire. I lived there for a short while in Walpole but no more. Who told you such a thing?
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh! THE HAIR is back! I LOVE good hair! Master Gabe IS good to me. He sends me ducks or zombies,LOL I STILL have the beefeater duck in a place of honor!
ReplyDeleteReally Musie, you're going there? He bought you a British Duck and he's got great hair, so what. I write the stories that make you laugh, so come on! Which is it great hair and a rubber duckie or stories?
DeleteLMAO you win! The stories are what keep me.alive!
Delete